brian-milligan Reviews

Under the Bridge (2024)

Got episode three..so embarrassingly bad..

[1/10 · 25 April 2024]

Watching white kids describe themselves as " crips" or " mafia, do gang rituals and speak differently than they would is really cringe. Even If this really happened which i doubt it rings dumb. They're are in Canada for crying out loud. Not Compton. Just further shows how clueless Hollywood is about reality. Hollywood or film people live in this idiotic bubble where 16 year olds do blood oaths before the start talking about cutting people's heads off in small town Canada . Just preposterous. Story is also slow and embellished and the writing is terrible. Goodbye Under the Bridge.. can't say it was a pleasure.

True Detective: Night Country: Part 1 (2024) Season 4, Episode 1

Terrible....and spoiler alert- it will not get better

[1/10 · 17 January 2024]

Nic Pizzolatto isnt really involved. What we do have is the writer of "Moonlight" (one of the worst movies I've ever seen which somehow won best picture ) Anyway NP basically franchised the IP and now we have an elderly, washed up, supremely overrated and entitled actress (Foster) primed to put the final nail in the coffin of True Detective. Its a shame because they did capture lightning in a bottle with S1 and people can try and try until the end of time but there is no getting it back. There was not one wasted piece of dialogue or frame of film in S1. The leanest season of TV in history and nothing will ever beat it. S2 isn't worth discussing and while S3 definitely had some good stuff it quicky crumbled into an incoherent mess. Now we have cut-rate CGI polar bears and elk? ( BTW- the elk herd stampeding themselves off the cliff is great metaphor for this franchise) i also noticed Foster has a executive producer credit which means she muscled in using her completely undeserved Hollywood royalty status. Seriously...besides Silence of the Lambs what has she really done that she's been good in? Fosters character is completely unlikable ( in a bad way) and the script is horrible. She was so obviously miscast and the episode comes of as CSI Alaska....just utter network TV dreck. . The other actor who plays the trooper i think is good. They should have had two indigenous actors as the detectives and Jodi could have played somebody's annoying racist grandma. I honestly don't know how much more Hollywood want us to take.

Barbarian (2022)

Ummmm she could have driven for 30 mins after the job interview and...

[1/10 · 16 January 2024]

Stayed at a Hilton or Marriott outside of town. Michigan is 70% quiet affluent suburbs. Also why wouldn't the interviewer say that she could stay with her? She seemed to know it was dangerous or why wouldn't the protagonist just drive out of town and stay off the highway? Ir was daylight after the interview. She also could have driven for 30 minutes and stayed in Canada for the night. That's a whole different country. She could have gone to a hotel, explained her situation and sat in the lobby. The Ren Cen in Detroit is huge. She literally have driven for 15 minutes and sat in a rest stop off the highway. She could've driven to the airport and sat there. Easily the dumbest premise for a movie I've seen in a long time.

The Golden Hour (2022– )

Frustrating...so Frustrating...Dutch police-- freaking DO SOMETHING!!!

[2/10 · 3 January 2024]

Are there like thirty armed police in all of what ever city this is in the Netherlands? And are they all incompetent and cowardly? With no knowledge of tactical fighting? How can twenty armed police surround a mall where there are only two terrorists inside killing people and not move in? Why did the two armed officers in the mall hide in the security room instead of taking the terrorists out? Why are these officers so easily fooled and allow themselves to ge led all over town? Why do the backup and the medics take a whole episode to arrive on scene? Why is the woman in the police control bunker so bad at her job? If you want to be frustrated and lose all faith in the people that are charged with defending the us..then watch this show...ugh... it is so maddening and completely unrealistic. I wanted to reach though the screen and throttle everyone.

Vikings (2013–2020)

don't waste your time...

[1/10 · 22 October 2023]

What a ridiculous series. Its like a bunch of high school freshmen boys got put in charge of a show. They use American actors playing vikings so the accents are preposterous (not to mention that everyone basically speaks English), the costumes look like they're from urban outfitters, the understanding of Viking mythology is hilariously wrong and everyone talks in present day terms. The people in England are portrayed as being terrified weak willed fops who can't fight and the battle scenes are all dumb and horribly choreographed. I cannot believe what passes for good TV these days but the success of this nonsense finally explains the success of " The Northman* which is probably the worst movie to have come out in the past five years. If this series was made by high school kids The Northman was made by middle schoolers. I'm shocked that they're all not wearing horned helmets.

Hightown (2020–2024)

tries too hard to be something it isn't and will never be

[2/10 · 15 July 2023]

They aren't even trying to make it in the same league as The Wire.. they are trying to make it a discount version of The Wire. I don't particularly care about any of the characters who are all addicts in one way or the other. The police are hilariously corrupt and not bright. One of the lead cop characters is openly sleeping with a drug kingpin's stripper wife going to public outdoor concerts for all to see. The lead character " fish cop" is a junky promiscuous lesbian in case you didn't put it together with the several reminders per episode. Not sure what they are trying to do with the enforcer who works for the dealers..is he comic relief? Is he ruthless? Is he honorable? His big character trait is love of fast food? Ugh... on top of all of it does anybody really care about the drug trade in Provincetown or Cape Cod in general? Is it even an issue there? Ive been - its a nice safe touristy beach town. Everyone has over the top Massachusetts accents and seafood obsessions. Hey P- town - you are not Baltimore! So stop it. Two stars for the occasional good acting. PS - a riddle - how many narcotics anonymous meeting sequences should be shot in a show about drugs? Answer - well .. the folks at Hightown will let you know when they figure it out.. because the answer is a lot.

Marriage (2022)

uncomfortable, off- putting and awkward. Not what i expected but man Sean Bean....

[7/10 · 26 June 2023]

Sean Bean can make one feel uncomfortable like no one else. He's a very talented actor. His scenes were extremely difficult to watch as he plays the absurdly fearful and insecure husband of thirty years. His character is completely freaked out by his daughter, the woman at the gym check - in, his wife, his wife's colleagues.. just women in general. Not to mention the extremely uncomfortable small- talk he tries to make with the shop employees, security guards, tradespeople he deals with through-out his days as a recently retired person who was made redundant. His wife played by the also ridiculously talented Nicola Walker has problems of her own including never getting her pensioner father's approval. As s result their adopted daughter faces challenges in her personal relationships. Even the characters in one-off scenes are squirm- inducing wrecks. A very good portrayal of the sadness of people who were raised in environments that didn't place a premium on emotional support and now require attention and validation at every turn.

The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power (2022– )

Boring and dumber then Peter Jackson's adaptation...

[1/10 · 6 October 2022]

And that's saying something. Peter Jackson ruined LOTR. So much that Tolkien was spinning in his grave and because of this a truly good version will likely never get made. . It was a nine hour bloodless children's movie with horrible CGI, an actually dwarf tossing gag and Legolas surfing on s shield and single handedly killing elephants. It was Harry Potter. It is amazing how horrible it was but at least there was some action. This nonsense is the most boring television I've watched in years. The characters are mostly one note and forgettable and nothing ever seems to happen. Here they had a chance to make up for Jackson's abysmal mess and they threw it away. I just don't understand why. It cost a billion dollars for crying out loud. Forget all this and read the books. They are one thousand times better than this dreck.

Orange Is the New Black (2013–2019)

Good show.. extremely well- written...funny..sad.. moving ..

[7/10 · 1 July 2022]

Well- acted..exposing several social issues in a good and complete way. I just rewatched all seasons and ironically the interesting thing about it is that the show would have been fine.. no better...had they taken out the Piper and Alex Vause storyline. You can fast forward through all their scenes and the show loses nothing and the viewer might be less irritated because boy are they irritating.... particularly Chapman..shes insufferable and I feel no sympathy for her. The Latinas and black characters carry it. Their back stories and character arcs are more interesting and realistic.

I do not think the series went on too long..I suppose the post-riot S6 could have been shortened and folded into S7 as not much happened..and the villains? Badison? Really with the Boston accent? Daddy the pimp? Ugh...and those evil sisters were just nonsensical and annoying. It was worth watching for me solely because of the characters Blanca Flores and Zirconia who were just a joy to watch.

S7 about Trump's immigration policy and the real cost of private prisons was fantastic. I only wish it was portrayed as brutally as it was and continues to be. The post - prison Piper storyline was tone-deaf. Getting to live in NYC, work for her rich father and literally go to upscale balls but her parole conditions were slightly inconvenient so we are supposed to feel bad for her? Not sure about that. I mean they gave her early release.

Going back my biggest issue was the riot. Not the actual riot but the fall out. It bothers me a lot as I'm familiar with litigation and the court system. There is no way on earth a half-decent lawyer couldn't have gotten most of the individual riot -related charges thrown out. They had video of a guard torturing inmates, a slew of witnesses to Poussay Washingtons murder, an ex- warden willing to testify and they could have easily poked holes in Piscatella's death. The moronic tactical team who killed him also wouldn't have got away with it either. One round of questioning to these idiots and the whole story would have been there. Its frustrating when otherwise smart shows do this.

Also the COs might have been portrayed acceptably for the most part ( I know a lot of them) but they do not regularly sexually assault and beat inmates. It's very very illegal. Most COs are as miserable and demoralized as the inmates. I don't know one who wouldn't quit if the had the chance but they do not beat on women. It's preposterous.

Otherwise terrific show.

Bosch: Legacy (2022– )

Just when you thought the original Bosch was the worst television show in history...

[1/10 · 14 May 2022]

They go ahead and blow that record away.. writing is terrible. Storyline as boring as ever, generic one note villians ( hedge fund manager? Really? ). The ridiculous 1940s lingo that Bosch uses barely works in the one book I read but on TV it's preposterous sounding. An LA police detective likely wouldn't have talked like this in the 1950s let alone in 2022. The fascinating thing to me about this is no two characters have any chemistry. It's amazing. Everything interaction between characters falls flat - it's like they all have scripts in their hands and they are trying to run lines to memorize them in rehearsal. Particularly between Titus Weliver and Madison Linzt who I'm assuming has compromising photos of the producers or something. I've never watched a person's with less acting ability my life and it is beyond me how she not only is still working on this show but is getting more screen time. Plus I pay for Amazon Prime. It's not exactly inexpensive and I do it so i don't have to watch commercials. But somehow Bosch gets a pass on this? No way. Who do they think they are?

Reacher (2022– )

So terrible

[1/10 · 11 February 2022]

This is easily the worst thing that's been on tv in recent years. No one in the cast is s good actor. Especially whoever it is that plays the lead. It's like they took people off the streets and said ' you want to be in a tv show?" The dialogue is hilariously bad and the storyline is boring. Why on earth would anyone with a modicum of Intelligence give this a good review? There's nothing new here. It's the same formula as any generic action movie that's been around since the 80s. The heroes are star spangled morons and the bad guys are cartoonishly evil. This is Over the top nonsense from start to finish.

Bosch (2014–2021)

Fascinatingly bad

[2/10 · 10 September 2021]

I beleive that the acting in the show is absolutely terrible by everyone except Jaime Hector..and there is not an ounce of chemistry between any two characters at any time. It frankly would seem impossible but I feel nothing when they Interact. I am constantly aware im watching a show. On those apsects it's fascinating.

Poldark (2015–2019)

This show is extremely good

[10/10 · 9 September 2021]

Its remarkable. The writing and shots in Cornwall are incredible. The intro is great. The music is great. And the thing is you want the posh people to get their come- uppance but they never really do....just like real life. Totally respect that.

Like in reay L life.

The Expanse (2015–2022)

George Lucas should be embarrassed...

[10/10 · 12 November 2020]

How could he not be? Star Wars is terrible by comparison with its Muppets and one dimensional characters and stupid story lines. And I mean ALL Star Wars movies. These people have done something remarkable and this should now be the gold standard. From the opening credits which is akin to game of thrones as it tells the whole story of how we got to where we are. Oh and yes this is better than game of thrones by the way.

And the technology they use is likely just on the horizon. No photon torpedoes or faster than light speed. No magic shielding around ships. No dumb looking aliens in a bar playing music. No laser swords. No ships that defy the laws of zero gravity.

And these obviously hired the best people for all components of the show.



It's a breath of fresh air.

Game of Thrones: The Long Night (2019) Season 8, Episode 3

One of the best 90 minutes in television history

[10/10 · 11 September 2020]

Anyone that complains about this is a moron. The truth is that no matter what they did ( D&D) all the spoiled brat petulant children on the internet would have hated it. As if they have some right. What D&D did was astounding. Miraculous. And i'm not just talking about this episode. Im talking about all of season 8. The reason why the anonymous geeks were popping off in the internet, like their mother said no when they asked for a cookie is because in a 100 years they could not have done better. And i choose the number carefully . I mean if these comic book dungeons and dragons playing nerds literally had a century they could not have come close to adapting the books into these 8 seasons better. The best part about all if this is watching all the hysterical virgins on YouTube whining about it. Its truly awesome. Reminds me of when I was in high school. Its just Terrific. All these beta males fantasizing about having sex with Dany Stormborn and Arya Stark. It makes he laugh for hours .

W1A (2014–2024)

Beware.....

[7/10 · 6 September 2020]

I'm positive that the writers of this show were out to prove how ridiculous the entertainment business is but more important they wanted to make people who watch anxious and annoyed and they do it perfectly. I could not get through it. It is the most aggravating thing I've ever seen. The only characters who are somewhat normal are Hugh Bonneville and David Tennant as the narrator. Im guessing their lines are there just to bring you back fom the brink. It is very difficult to watch. It creates anxiety and annoyance and hatred for the people who run this fictional version of the BBC. One could use this program as a mental torture device but it would be cruel and unusual punishment and probably illegal. Most of the script is designed to provoke this sense of unease , uncomfortableness and agitation but delivered in the guise of comedy. It is genius in that way but if you suffer from anxiety or depression or anger management i warn you this will ruin your day and you'll run screaming to your therapist for more meds.

The Missing (2014– )

Its ok

[5/10 · 20 May 2020]

But S2 Has two huge plot holes and I cannot believe it got past whoever. 1- there is no way in hell a DNA test wouldn't be absolutely compulsory in the event of a child stumbling into a town after 11 years missing. No way it would be up to the parents to refuse it. Its laughable. It would have happened immediately.

And 2- in what world would they not only arrest a man but convict him for kidnapping based on literally no evidence besides an obviously crazy girl who was in a hole for 11 years picking him out of a photo array? I'll tell you. No world. Its such a huge thing to skip over.

Plus all the unnecessary twists that do not lend themselves to the story in any way. Ohhh shes a surrogate!!

Midsommar (2019)

Ridiculous and stupid sloppy mess of a movie...

[1/10 · 28 April 2020]

About a cult full of drug addled morons who I swear could have all beat up by myself. The thing is speaking just logically from a human being standpoint. There are six imbeciles who arrive in a field and there are people all wearing white and offering them drugs. Keep in mind they still have their car. Do half of them freak out and leave? No. I think all of them would. But they take the drugs and move on to the main ceremonial grounds the next day. More strange stuff happens but no they are unphased. Then the horrifying ritual suicides happen. They freak out a little but no its just culture shock. I would wager anyone would have run by that point. Later they don't even run when their friends disappear. Don't ask any questions. Take the weakest explanations for why they are gone. ( my boyfriend when to the train station without me? We've been dating for years. Oh I see only room in the truck for two? And I couldn't sit on his lap because traffic laws? What our bible is missing? Must have been your friend who is researching us. And he left with it.

Speaking of ritual suicides why so gruesome? If it's to put old people out of their misery why does it have to violent? Why not inject them with morphine? And why the hell doesn't their hippie friend warn them about what's going to happen before they step on the plane? He was with them in America.

And no one in all of Sweden knows about these idiots? Millions of people living there but not a clue.

Then the girlfriend wins an idiotic may queen dance and the boyfriend gets peer- pressured into more drugs. Then after a bunch of silly ceremonies and planting rituals he gets to cheat on his girlfriend cause of culture.

Finally the slaughtering of nine people two of whom chosen by a an bingo machine. Including her now paralyzed ( from the drugs- shocking!) Boyfriend who has been placed in a hollowed out bear carcass. They give some people drugs for the pain and others get nothing. Then they are put in a lawn equipment shed and it's set in fire.

The costumes are laughable and haphazardly thrown together and the sets look like they just gave a grade 3 group of kids some blue and yellow paint.

The dumbest thing I've watched I'm a long time.

Altered Carbon (2018–2020)

Season..2... you hacks

[1/10 · 3 March 2020]

The new weapons looks exactly like the new lifeform in " the expanse " they stole it after that shows success. Blatant theft. Enough to begin legal proceedings. Change of actors was s shame. Story is stupid. And they have no idea what they want to be...except as successful as " the expanse "...but that will never happen

Hunters (2020–2023)

I'm not sure...

[5/10 · 21 February 2020]

I can say this was a good idea. I know we cannot forget about the holocaust but I found it uncomfortable to watch. If there is one thing that shouldn't be made light of it's the nazi party during ww2. The opening scene of E1 is extremely unpleasant to me. And I'm sure it was purposely so but it was not needed. Im pretty sure no undercover nazi would make a speech like that before he did what he did. It was meant to shock when it didnt need to.

Little (I) (2019)

Its funny...

[9/10 · 7 November 2019]

And its exactly what its supposed to be. It's a light hearted funny take on this reverse stuff. And it's better than most. Perfectly fine movie.

Batman & Robin (1997)

A delight

[10/10 · 7 November 2019]

I know I'm late to the party here but I just saw this as I am new to batman. This movie is incredible. The special effects are second to none and you have a star- studded cast. They should show this movie in to students in film school. The script is good but also hilarious. The zingers from mr freeze and all the other villains had me bent over laughing. One of the funniest parts was when batman is at an auction and when try to outbid everyone he pulls out an amex with his bat logo on it and says " never leave the cave without it". Oh man that was funny. The climax is great with all the ice skating ( oh sorry- spoilers!) I urge everyone to buy a copy of this movie to pass down to your grandchildren because this is Hollywood at its finest.

Jack Ryan (2018–2023)

Silly and stupid abd unbelievable

[1/10 · 3 November 2019]

I never read Tom Clancys novels except excerpts, his writing is is like reading a " hardy boys" novel. He is jingoistic, untalented and annoyingly American. His depiction of the military and the CIA is laughable. The people who make this show are no better. Watching this is like watching " Magnum PI. Totally vanilla and predictable.

If you are making a show about the intelligence community at least do research on the different entities involved including MI5 and the mossad. I'll say one thing... I like that this interpretation somehow managed to anger religious people complaining about nudity, blasphemy and general cursing. I wonder what their idea of the real CIA ? I'd imagine they think everyone is Christian, speaks politely and maintains a monogamous Man- woman relationship in a world where America is always in the right. This is an over- promoted mess of a program that fails to get even the simplest things right.

The most ridiculous thing I've seen so far in S2 is British agents capture a German intelligence officer after a never- in- a-million- years operation in London where they try and nab a gun for hire crazy guy who killed a US senator. Of course they are fooled when the man they get is another guy dressed in the assassin's clothes. (They may as well had someone do the " you better tie your shoes" trick when the person looks down like an idiot.) Anyway they allow the remaining German agent to walk around free but with an escort instead of shackling her and throwing her in a hole. You can guess what happens next and if you can't well then you probably love this series and should keep watching.

The Deuce (2017–2019)

Its good but does anybody care?

[6/10 · 29 October 2019]

About times square during this era? It had zero redeeming qualities. Cleaning it up was one of the best things to happen to NYC. There is no romanticism in abusive pimps, prostitutes, pornographers or any other stereotype depicted here. The bars and clubs there were all awful and everything smelled like urine. People who say it was better then are lying. They'll tell you the atmosphere gave the city character but it didn't and they know it didn't. It was an embarrassment and I bet you could find people who endured times square then happily eating complimentary breadsticks and endless salad at the Olive Garden.

Most people who lurked there were low- lives and all they did was bother and annoy people. The girls were disgusting looking, the live peeps were 96% she- hes behind glass. They all had this sad look about them. I guess it was good in that after spending time there you realized your life wasnt as bad as you thought. I liked the fact that when I walked out of my building in the morning I didn't want to weep for humanity while navigating piles of wet garbage.

The casting of Maggie G was a mistake and Franco just isn't a good actor. Pornographers are not artist and they never were, the mafia is not a good thing and never was, the aids epidemic was a terrible chapter in NYC's history and the fact that nobody cared to do anything about it until it was too late speaks volumes about politics in not just NYC but everywhere. In short find it very hard to believe that anybody would look back on this and think " oh, those were the days "

Goliath (2016–2021)

Maddening...

[3/10 · 8 October 2019]

Season 3 is seriously the most annoying thing I've even watched. Brilliant lawyer Billy McBride, Who employs no security team, knows the people he's suing are bad yet he continues to stay in the hotel they own and they keep getting away with dosing his food and booze with hallucinogens. And hes too dumb to realize it. It's silly and no one would get away with it. That casino would be shuttered soon as they reported it to the FDA. On top of this the human body has defense mechanisms in place. 98 percent of the time you would know you have been drugged or someone close to you would and you could explain it. Moreover there are no such thing as warlocks. This show just doesn't know what it wants to be. It's a legal thriller, it's a comedy, its torture porn like in S2, it's a love story, its horror. It's all over the place and the viewer just gets fed up and turns it off. It also would be illegal for the most prominent rancher( who the county is named after) to be head of the water board making the case open and shut. It would literally take 2 mins in court. I could point out several more plot holes but why bother? How does this stuff get funded?