LovecraftLass Reviews

Creature from the Black Lagoon (1954)

Beautifully Shot

[8/10 · 19 December 2019]

The Creature from the Black Lagoon was next up on my "heard so much of but never watched" list. A much longer list than I'd like to admit. Especially when it comes to the older Universal creature features.

The plot was ok. It's the usual story about some people that find an ancient creature. Some want to come back to study it in the wild and the mean guy who wants to capture to and take it back to study. Per usual, the Big Jerk gets destroyed by the Monster. No big tear-jerking moment there. The other actors are very good and seem, for the most part, pretty believable.

I can't say that the dialogue is very scintillating. In fact, I honestly can't remember one line from the movie. But the visuals are very, very striking. The Creature's costume looks very nice for the time. Very detailed and without the bug eyes common to fifties movie. They have a deep-set glitter to them that makes them far more unsettling. The actor who played the Creature on land did an excellent job of imbuing it with some personality and I felt so bad for him when the Big Jerk was poking him and tying him up. Some of the shots were just beautiful.

There were a few effects that I'm assuming were put in place for the 3-D format that it first came out in. I've always wanted to see black and white 3-D but, unfortunately, my copy does not include a 3-D vision. I honestly don't know if there are any. If anyone knows of any let me know, please!

The ending is kind of anti-climactic. If you want to avoid a spoiler you can jump down to the next paragraph but it's not hard to tell how these kinds of movies usually end. The Creature's kidnapping of the girl feels somewhat half-hearted, as does the following attack on the Creature. It's left (somewhat) ambiguous whether the Creature lives or not and I have a sneaking suspicion that there was a bit of studio pushing to have a big finale with the Creature.

I think it would have been better to have them just escape from the Creature, leaving him there to watch and wait. As it is the kidnapping seems very tacked-on, almost as an afterthought. Like the director was expected to have it so he just threw it there at the end.

I also got a very weird deja vu while watching it and realized that Anaconda follows almost the exact same pattern of the Creature from the Black Lagoon. I may be imagining things but if anyone's sen Anaconda, let me know!

The Creature from the Black Lagoon is definitely worth the watch if you're in the mood for a good, old-fashioned black and white, Universal classic. Also, I know there was something about a woman involved with the Creature (special effects, costume design maybe?) that I just cannot remember. If anyone knows, please do let me know!

The Birds (1963)

It seems cliche to give it a ten but it is that good

[10/10 · 19 December 2019]

The Birds is one of those movies that I've always heard of, know of, read of but never watched it. I finally got it to watch it and I was really surprised. I really haven't seen too many of Hitchcock' movies except Psycho and Rebecca. The Birds is based on the short story by Daphne Du Maurier. I have never read it so I don't really know what might have been added or not. I will be reading it, however, to find out.

It is a very slow starter. Whether you'll find the characters interesting enough to make it worth the wait is up to you. I thought they were interesting and a lot of the dialogue had so much subtext that I was constantly intrigued. I thought the character of Melanie Daniels (Tippi Hedren) was very interesting. My thoughts about her evolved throughout the movie and quite naturally. It didn't feel like the movie was forcing her sad, sad story down my throat to make me like her. Mitch felt very generic handsome male and the little girl, Cathy, felt off. She looked about thirteen but acted like she was supposed to be six. I just kind of wrote that off a the child acting of the time. I love the character of Annie (Suzanne Pleschette) and loved every interaction she had with Melanie.

The shots were absolutely awesome. I honestly wasn't expecting much from the Birds themselves. They were done very well and some of the shots with them were genuinely creepy. For instance, Melanie is waiting outside of the school, having a cigarette, while waiting for Annie (oh how times have changed). The shot cuts between her and the playground behind her. First there's one bird. Cut to Melanie. There's more birds. And more. And it's in absolute silence which just seems so unnatural for birds that it enhances the creepiness of it.

Another shot that I really loved was near the end of the movie. We learn about how Melanie's mother left her and her father. There is also some very believable tension between Mitch's mother and Melanie. At the end (no spoilers, don't worry) Mitch's mother is holding Melanie close to her and the look Melanie gives her is so sweet. It doesn't feel disingenuous, it doesn't feel forced or overdone, it's just a very sweet moment.

I would recommend it if you don't mind a slow burn. But, really, with Hitchcock are you expecting a fast-paced gore-fest?

Lemon Tree Passage (2014)

A Sad Waste of a Great Premise and Potential

[5/10 · 18 December 2019]

Lemon Tree Passage had so much potential. And I'm not completely certain that it still couldn't be fixed. It would require a lot of editing but it could be done. I really liked the premise and I'm interested in learning more about the phenomenon. However, the movie fails to really capitalize on it and resorts to a rather convoluted supernatural revenge story. There will probably be spoilers as it will be hard to explain where the movie mistepped.

The American tourists, Maya, Amelia and Amelia's brother Toby, bump into the Australians - Geordie and Oscar, on the beach. They all decide to party together and, of course, start telling ghost stories. This is where the tale of the motorist comes into play. They all go to see it, then spend the night with the Aussies.

This leads to various supernatural shenanigans happening. And this is where it gets weird and convoluted. We start getting flashbacks to an assault committed by three unknown men. This ghost possesses Maya (for some unstated reason), kills Amelia and Toby (again, for unstated reasons) and wants to kill Geordie to get back at Sam, one of the men that killed the girl. Fairly simple, yeah? If they had kept to this story flow it would have been so much better.

But, then you add in the original urban legend with its accompanying story of the killed motorist and a random male ghost that pops in briefly and it all starts to get very muddled. And the male voice is definitely not the voice of the female ghost as it specifically calls her by name. Who is it? Who knows. It could be the ghost motorist but there's nothing to tie the two deaths together.

The dialogue, pacing and character interactions are pretty good. They are stuttery and a bit awkward but that makes it a bit more realistic to me. Events and reactions make sense to the scenes they are in. Then they go back to Lemon Tree Passage and the movie falls apart. Oscar goes missing and the Americans go to look for him while Geordie, who, you know, lives there, sits in the car with Maya. Now, maybe I'm just not ballsy enough to go traipsing around Australia after dark but knowing some of the animals they've got there you couldn't pay me to step two feet from that car at night. After that the story starts to go to pieces and starts losing focus.

I think that if it were trimmed down to keep out the extraneous driftwood it would be decently enjoyable. I thought the actors did well and despite some unrealistic dialogue later in the movie, seem to give it their all. The emotions they portray feel right for the scenes. Even if their actions are...odd.

I felt like they could have done great in keeping to the original motorbike crash that was the urban legend. The "ghost gets revenge" has been done a lot better and felt almost like an afterthought.

All in all it was ok but it could have been so much better.

Jacob's Ladder (2019)

Lightning in a Bottle Can't Be Caught Twice

[1/10 · 18 December 2019]

Just to be clear. I had very, very low expectations for this remake. In my opinion, it didn't need a remake. It went so far below the low bar that I had set for it that it disappeared into the netherealms. So it's fair to say that I didn't like it. To the point that I will bump Blair Witch up to one star because if I have only one movie with zero stars on this site it should be Jacob's Ladder.

Ok, I will start with the positives. The actors Michael Ealy and Jesse Williams did good with what they had to work with. They were the watchable spot. There was one scene that actually felt organic and good. There was another, very subtle scene that was actually good. I don't know how they managed it. Now. Onto the rest of the movie.

The plot is so disjointed, yet at the same time super predictable. We called every 'twist' and turn at least ten to twenty minutes beforehand. They took every iconic moment from the movie and threw it in randomly with zero thought or effort to make it blend well. It also took my favorite line from the original and threw it in at the most flat spot, said in the blandest tone possible. As if he were reading it off of a cue card. It was so, so aggravating. The line doesn't even make sense in the context of this excremental remake, they changed the story so much. Also, they changed the phrasing for no discernible reason. Where the original says " So, if you're frightened of dying and ... you're holding on, you'll see devils tearing your life away. " They changed 'devils' to 'battles'. Which doesn't even make any sense since, you know, Jacob isn't freaking dying throughout the movie.

Which brings me to the part of the movie where my aggravation at a bad remake turned to actual hatred. Instead of focusing on Jacob's journey this movie decides to spread it out over a drug subplot. Something called HDC that is supposed to target traumatic memories. In the movie the drug was pulled because of side effects so a street version was being made. And literally every vet in the movie is portrayed as crazy. The movie waffles back and forth on whether it's caused by the drug or if the drug is helping in the first half. So, in large part, the subtext of the movie seems to be that all vets are trauma ridden, mentally ill people for whom therapy is a waste of time and the only peace experienced in the movie by any of them is through a (somewhat) self-sacrificial suicide. What an awesome message to send. I'm not saying that this can't be the case but this is all that is presented within the world of the movie. And it sucks. It's not even a theme of forgotten vets (the original Jacob's Ladder did that so much better without even trying) because only one line in the whole movie is devoted to it.

On a little bit of a lighter note, the SFX are horrible, as well. It relies on jump-scares mixed with poor make-up effects and the infamous 'twitchy' scenes just...suck. For instance, the original did those scenes live with no post-production effects or speeds added. You can tell that they just sped up the film and called it good. Hell, Silent Hill captured that creepy feeling much, much better. In fact, it's a better tribute to the original movie than this crap.

Instead of this, I recommend watching the original again. Or for the first time. Let's just forget this movie was ever made.

The Forces of Horror Anthology: Volume I (2020)

A Generous 3 But I Had Fun With It

[3/10 · 17 December 2019]

I have to say that I wasn't impressed with it at first. The opening credits looked like a very cheap tv show opening. I also wasn't too impressed with the first ten minutes or so. It was a man and girl in a sparsely decorated room and the acting was a bit clunky. But I stuck with it and I'm glad I did. I can't lie, the three stars is a bit generous but the movie overall was more enjoyable than I had expected it to be. The acting was a bit clunky throughout, the make-up effects were cheap and some of the effects were laughable (particularly the sped up footage). So why a 3 rating? It was interesting, dammit and oddly charming. The quality wasn't top notch but you could tell they tried hard and some parts were genuinely funny.

Forces of Horror is an anthology split up into four different stories with a framing device of a little girl telling a therapist her nightmares. The framing device was an interesting idea and you could tell the little girl was giving the acting her all. The segments are unnamed, which is unusual, so I'll name them myself.

Reaper: The first is Reaper, a story about an adoption and the family the little girl belongs to. This was an interesting start and it had a twist at the end that I thought they cheated with a little bit. It was decent, though.

The Zombie Next Door: This was by far the most entertaining segment of them all. The effects were a bit 'eh' but the story was pretty damn funny.

Monsters in the Closet: This was probably the weakest segment. It was a little on the dull side and the effects weren't the greatest.

Killers: This segment was decent enough. The effects and the acting were a bit better (except for the 'fast motion', it looked ridiculous) and it was entertaining.

There are some unanswered questions at the end. I don't know if they just forgot or what but (possible spoiler) It sounds like the therapist made some kind of deal for his 'fantasy' and now it's time to collect, I guess? Not sure what his fantasy was exactly or what the picture at the end was supposed to mean. If any of you are brave enough to watch it maybe you can tell me.

So, all in all, if you have a free hour (it's pretty short) it's worth a watch, just for the zombie segment alone.

GhostWatcher (2002)

Underrated Indie

[7/10 · 4 December 2019]

Ghostwatcher has a ridiculously low rating . No, it's not a perfect movie but it's very good as far as indies go. The acting is decent (I've seen much worse in major releases, looking at you Blair Witch), the effects in it are pretty good and the scares are effective. The film quality isn't great but it works with the feel of the movie. Listening to the commentary it sounds like the crew worked pretty well together (bar one member).

The story flows well and is suspenseful while the haunting feels genuinely frightening because it's fairly low-key. There is one excellent scare in the kitchen when the lights go out on Laura. The characters of Laura, her best friend Nikki and Elizabeth are great characters. They're very easy to root for and empathize with. The synopsis on the back of the movie is pretty misleading as Elizabeth Dean is not a scam artist. She's a cam girl but takes the ghost-hunting aspect very seriously. Which makes me wonder if whoever wrote it got 'cam girl' and 'scam girl' mixed up. She puts time and effort into the ghost hunt. Even though I liked all of the girls I think Elizabeth was my favorite character. Laura and Nikki were great characters as well. They had chemistry and genuinely felt like friends.

I am being somewhat lenient with my score as there are some rather unbelievable moments in the movie. Such as Laura's agoraphobia clearing up pretty quickly when Elizabeth is forced to remove her from the apartment. Laura freaks out for a moment but then seems pretty ok. Another minor flaw is that the method of possession is rather silly but forgivable. The mystery is fairly easy to figure out but doesn't lack because of it.

I'd recommend watching the commentary because it was really interesting and also pretty funny such as when they talk about the couch that had a shape that looked like a certain part of the female anatomy.

All in all it's a good movie that is definitely worth a watch if you find it somewhere. We got it at a Blockbuster bargain bin. One of the best purchases I've ever made.

Dragon Ball Super: Broly (2018)

Loved It!

[10/10 · 4 December 2019]

I don't really watch the Dragon Ball Z series but I took my son to see it and I really loved it.

I did know some of the basics of the series so I wasn't completely lost but even if I hadn't I still would have enjoyed it. It was funny and the action scenes were dynamic. I loved when they 'broke' reality and it cracked me up that the characters themselves were like "Wtf?!"

I would definitely recommend it.

GhostWatcher (2002)

Doesn't Deserve The Hate It's Getting

[7/10 · 5 October 2019]

GhostWatcher has a ridiculously low rating on IMDB. No, it's not a perfect movie but it's very good as far as indies go. The acting is decent (I've seen much worse in major releases, looking at you Blair Witch), the effects in it are pretty good and the scares are effective. The film quality isn't great but it works with the feel of the movie. Listening to the commentary it sounds like the crew worked pretty well together. For the most part.

The story flows well and is suspenseful while the haunting feels genuinely frightening because it's fairly low-key. There is one excellent scare in the kitchen when the lights go out on Laura. The characters of Laura, her best friend Nikki and Elizabeth are great characters. They're very easy to root for and empathize with. The synopsis on the back of the movie is pretty misleading as Elizabeth Dean is not a scam artist. She's a cam girl but takes the ghost-hunting aspect very seriously. Which makes me wonder if whoever wrote it got 'cam girl' and 'scam girl' mixed up. She puts time and effort into the ghost hunt. Even though I liked all of the girls I think Elizabeth was my favorite character. Laura and Nikki were great characters as well. They had chemistry and genuinely felt like friends.

I am being somewhat lenient with my score as there are some rather unbelievable moments in the movie. Such as Laura's agoraphobia clearing up pretty quickly when Elizabeth is forced to remove her from the apartment. Laura freaks out for a moment but then seems pretty ok. Another minor flaw is that the method of possession is rather silly but forgivable. But I am rather irritated that its score is so low because it is a good supernatural thriller that I have rarely seen mentioned by anyone. The mystery is fairly easy to figure out but doesn't lack because of it.

All in all it's a good movie that is definitely worth a watch if you find it somewhere. We got it at a Blockbuster bargain bin (yeah, I've owned it this long, that should tell you something). One of the best purchases I've ever made.

Terror Tales (2016)

Too Overdone and Not Very Good

[2/10 · 3 October 2019]

Apparently Terror Tales has some actors from well-known 80's slashers (Sleepaway Camp, My Bloody Valentine, etc.). If that's enough for you then you'll be thrilled with this. If you're looking for a bit more, however, then you might want to give it a pass. What was so frustrating to me was that I could see so many ways that it could have been improved. Even in spite of the generally low acting effort.

The Wrap-Around: I did like the guy playing the Driver. He was a bit over the top but it fit his character. The wrap-around was ok, I guess. It seemed very loosely put together as an excuse for the stories. Which leads us into the stories themselves...

Tale Two: Radical Video: By far the strongest segment it was the only time in the movie that felt like an intentional homage to the eighties era slasher movies. The main couple had some good chemistry and you can tell they put effort into evoking the rental store. It made me miss them very much. Streaming may be more convenient but it doesn't have that feel of the rental stores. It also has a throwback to the eighties cop: Drunk, widower and surrounded by lots of jazz. My biggest problem with this segment is the actions of the people make sense...until the end. Then everyone decides to say "What's survival called again?" The kill scenes were obviously dolls and badly done. This was frustrating as a simple shift in camera angle could have fixed this problem and made it look so much better.

Tale Three: Epidemic: I did not like this segment at all. It was very bland and the acting effort put in was downright abysmal. I will say, however, that there was some pretty neat imagery in it such as the cross pendant dangling from a gun and a crucifix being welded into a woman's neck. Yan Birch would have been great as Satan but is so over-the-top it's hard to take him seriously. When he isn't hamming it up he looks genuinely scary.

The wrap-around finishes up after the last story. I won't spoil it for you, however. I didn't care for the final denouement because it just didn't seem to fit. I could think of a better way for it to have ended that would have been just as good and just as gory and more apropos to the irony factor.

My main issues were with the lighting, generally poor acting quality and bland cinematography. The special effects were ok in some spots but in others they were terrible. The gunshots in particular. What was more frustrating was that in a lot of the scenes just shifting the camera angle or toning down the lighting would have helped immensely. If it's an early movie by all of the crew involved I could be more forgiving. What I do have a harder time being more lenient with is their insistence on framing every evil person as being highly interested in the horror genre. If you know me and have been around Sci-Fi & Scary for awhile you'll know what's coming. If not, buckle up....

It's hard enough for the horror community to be taken seriously as literature. It's consistently ignored by the mainstream, non-genre oriented awards. Same with horror movies. It's rare that a horror author makes it to any kind of bestseller book lists (i.e. the New York Times bestseller list) unless it's an author with a lot of clout (*cough*Stephen King*cough*). Movies don't fare much better when it comes to Oscar noms and whatnot. What I cannot and will not comprehend is why a movie set firmly in that genre, starring people from that genre, would frame every horror aficionado in the movie as mentally ill, psychotic, and murderous. Thanks. Just thank you so much for that. It's at the point where a lot of horror authors/filmmakers won't even identify themselves as 'horror authors' because it's perceived as a negative connotation. From observation it seems like 'speculative fiction' or 'dark fantasy'. No, if that's how they truly see their work, that's fine. It's their prerogative. But it feels as though it's more of a marketing strategy because horror is a dirty word.

Ghost Train (2006)

All Aboard

[5/10 · 8 January 2019]

I've been watching a lot of Asian horror lately. I love it but it's hard to watch while you're doing other things because you have to watch the screen for the subtitles. And I refuse to watch dubs since they usually don't sound very good. I like Asian horror because in general they rely on practical effects instead of CGI overload. Ghost Train wasn't great but it wasn't terrible, either. First off, don't read the synopsis. It is so far off from the main story. The plot of Ghost Train is this: A spirit of a woman who was killed by a train leaves her stuff on the train and platform. When Random Traingoer picks it up the spirit comes for them to reclaim its property. The pacing is really, really weird and the hauntings, spirited aways (and returns) don't seem to make any sense. When they get returned they're something akin to zombies but they're not. It's not even really clear on if they are returned to normal after the haunting/curse is resolved. There also are weird time passages. For example: Nana's sister goes missing and it seems to take Nana a couple of days to start looking for her. Nana also takes a time out for her and Kanae to go for coffee and chat and become friends. The subplots don't go anywhere and the character interactions seem really off. The one relationship that is developed well is the friendship between Kanae and Nana. They frame it more of a romantic friendship which I liked. The actress who plays Kanae (Chinatsu Wakatsuki) also played in a movie called Ju-Rei that was really good and I think she's a pretty good actress. Her character wasn't very developed in Ghost Train but she did what she could with it. The sets are very strange as well. Everything is empty. Even the train platform has only one person on it. That just seems weird to me. It looks like a fairly large city and the streets are literally empty. The ending seems abrupt and also has an odd resolution that presents more questions than answers. Did the haunting actually begin with this person? Because she looks pulled down by a disembodied hand. And it's never explained. A random character is introduced near the end which seems a bit cheatery and while her role does make sense it also raises even more questions. All in all it's a decent movie that is worth a watch but there are far better ones to enjoy. Like the aforementioned Ju-Rei.

Gonjiam: Haunted Asylum (2018)

Excellent Found Footage

[9/10 · 7 January 2019]

If this movie was out when I made the Top Ten Movies Set in Asylums list this certainly would have been on it. I really, really loved it. I haven't been able to watch as much foreign horror as I would like lately. I don't like dubs and it's hard to find time to sit down and watch with subs. I bought Ganjiam Haunted Asylum back in October and just now watched it.

Gonjiam Haunted Asylum starts out like your fairly typical found footage movie. A group, led by "Captain", who runs a video channel called Horror Times. Their goal is to investigate the titular haunted asylum where people have gone missing and mass suicides (or murders) of the patients have taken place. Their investigation is to culminate in the opening of Room 402 which is rumoured to be cursed. "Captain" wants to take his live stream to 1 million views for the sweet ad money.

Gonjiam Haunted Asylum starts out a little slowly but once it gets going it doesn't stop. For a found footage movie it's relatively steady. They also managed to work a little subtle music in without it being weird or impossible. And I can honestly say there are some creepy scenes that actually made me jump once (and it wasn't a cheap jump scare moment) and others that gave my scalp creepy crawlies. Which, if you've read other reviews by me, is hard to do anymore so major props to the movie for that.

There were a couple of issues with it but nothing to make it drop in rating. I wish they had given more backstory on the asylum itself near the beginning. Since it is based on a real place the movie makers may have just assumed their audience would know the story. It also never explains how or why some of the people are there. Such as Ah-yeon. She doesn't seem to know anyone else there and it's never said why she's there. That would be the only two things I would improve.

Tank 432 (2015)

Tanks for Nothing

[3/10 · 7 January 2019]

Tank 432 - ahhh, where do I begin with you? I really, really wanted to like Tank 432. I did. I went in with good expectations. From the start they were off. Title says 'Tank' - description says 'Armored Personnel Carrier'. But I suppose APC 432 doesn't sound as scary. There will probably be spoilers because I don't even know what a spoiler would be for this damn movie.

Tank 432 could have been so much better if it had a clear goal in mind. It kept throwing so much in that didn't make sense, didn't belong and just didn't fit. Like Unconscious Girl. Why was she there? What was her purpose? You got me. A big girl-shaped red herring? I am all for anyone's interpretation. What's the orange powder? The experiment? How they manage to destroy an APC with a flamethrower? Why were they locked in when Unconscious Girl could easily open the door? Who were the prisoners and why? Nothing gets answered. At all. Even just a few notes in The Notebook that Guy in Charge kept scribbling in would have sufficed. But no. Even he gets conveniently flare gunned before we can get any answers from him.

The only character that I liked was the medic. She actually was fairly smart, strong and somewhat interesting. In fact, the acting is part of the reason Tank 432 even merits 2 Coolthulhus. The acting was pretty good. The actors didn't have a whole lot to work with but they did the best they could. The feeling of claustrophobia was well done. I got antsy just watching them squirm around the tight spaces and each other. There were some fairly cool shots as well and the camera work was good. The creepy teleporting guys were kind of cool but not enough was done with them. Same with the creepy gas mask creature you get to see all of once. Even an image that could have been so cool (it involves heads and an engine compartment) was skipped over. You know what we do get to see? Some guy taking a crap, getting it on his hand and then smearing it on his face. Yay.

Apparently there is an end credit scene that 'explains' it was all a test. We can figure out that it's a test and partly why. They're obviously testing some kind of Orange Crush drug called 'Kratos' for chemical warfare, either to amp up their soldiers or to use on the 'enemy'. What's not answered is literally everything above. For the 'test' concept to work multiple groups of mercenaries/soldiers would all have to have zero memories besides the task they're set to. This would require no questions or conversation with their squad, no conversation with the 'Prisoners' (their role in this is a total mystery) and destroying a 'tank' each time. Presuming this is test number 432 (and I could be wrong about that), that's 432 tanks destroyed. It also counts on these mercs doing the exact same things as the previous trials. What if they retreated to the woods instead of the tank? When you add in all of the questions above it just doesn't work. You should not rely on an end credit scene to explain your movie for you. Because most people won't see it.

Movies that are outright bad are far less frustrating than movies that could be good. Tank 432 falls into this latter category. There were so many things they could have done to make Tank 432 a much better movie. Even a small explanation would have gone a long way to making this better. As it stands I can't recommend this. Not unless you like feeling frustrated. I'm getting very tired of movies that end with no ending. It can work if the movie is done well. If it's given you the pieces to fit it together. Then there are these movies. Movies that just throw random stuff at you then say "Well, you just don't get it" if you have questions. You're right. I don't get it because it doesn't make any sense. Crush this one with an actual tank.

Curse of the Witch's Doll (2018)

Not An Annabelle Clone

[7/10 · 6 December 2018]

It seems like I go into a lot of movies with low expectations because the times I do go in expecting a movie to be fantastic I'm always disappointed. And when I go in with very low expectations I'm pleasantly surprised. Curse of the Witch's Doll was one of those times. I really think the cover does it a bit of a disservice. Going from the cover (and title) it looks like an Annabelle clone. That couldn't be farther from the truth. The age of the daughter is off as well. I think this would be better served with a revamp of the cover to be more accurate.

Unfortunately I can't say too much about Curse of the Witch's Doll because there are quite a few twists and turns that were genuinely surprising and I'd hate to ruin anything. I will only say one thing. The first 'twist' made me roll my eyes a bit but I can guarantee you...stick with it. I promise it's worth it. The pacing is perfect, it always keeps moving forward with no lags at all. This is a movie that relies on acting, atmosphere and mood to scare you and it does it well. I never felt like they were going for the easy scare.

The cinematography is excellent with some truly beautiful and original shots. Combined with some decent CGI the movie is worth watching for that alone. Particularly one scene near the middle. It's a very simple shot but the way its done is just...perfect. The make-up effects are decent. I'm a little torn on the doll itself. I kept going between creepy and goofy. There were some genuinely creepy moments with it. There were a lot of times when they didn't go for the obvious jump-scare and used a more subtle effect. I liked that a lot. The sound design was excellent as well. The music is moody in places and only comes to the forefront during the action sequences and never telegraphs the scares. They also mix sounds in very well with the music to give you hints or to just make it creepier.

The acting is great all the way through. Everyone puts their hearts into it and it shows. The dialogue flows smoothly and naturally. There is one speech in particular that Adeline says that I really, really loved. Adeline's words and actions feel very real. You really invest in Adeline's character and, frankly, I was upset with her and for her. The finale of the movie was a bit abrupt. The switch in styles was surprising but understandable. It just left off of one part so abruptly that you're a little unsure of what happens next. I mean, you have a pretty good guess but I would have liked a few things cleared up.

I would have liked a bit more information on The Witch. There is absolutely no backstory for her. I would have liked to have known a bit more with that. Presumably she was hung as a witch but how did the doll end up where it did? Was it in the same place? It's hard to say and with the Witch having an obvious French accent I think those parts should have been explained more. Even if it's just through the trusty "ye olde journal" source. All in all I did enjoy it. Enough to want to watch it again and possibly buy it to keep.

Butcher the Bakers (2017)

Butcher the Bakers

[5/10 · 6 December 2018]

I was a little reluctant to take Butcher the Bakers as I'm incredibly picky about horror comedies. I can't say that I loved Butcher the Bakers but I also can't say that I hated it. There were a few parts that made me chuckle, a few parts that were amusing and a few moments that made me go wtf? The acting for the most part was pretty good. There were a few off-key moments but very few and mostly the very minor characters.

The pacing seemed a little jerky now and then. For the most part it flowed smoothly but then there were certain areas where it dragged just a little. Plot-wise it held up pretty well. One of the funniest parts for me was an unexpected meta-moment that made me laugh. The eponymous Bakers were just okay to me. They had a few amusing moments but for me the ladies saved the movie. Pat, Dani and Bones were the most amusing parts for me. Their timing and deliveries were pitch perfect. The mute 'Neil Armstrong' was also a favorite. It's surprising how much humour a disembodied arm can give. Particularly when you throw on a pair of googly eyes...

My main issues with the movie were the 'meh' feelings that the Bakers gave me and it was very loud. Not in the sound design, which seemed to be suitable, but there was a lot of yelling. It actually started to give me a headache after a bit. Usually movies don't bother me too much (heck, found footage movies never give me a headache or motion sickness) but there was so much yelling that it started to be uncomfortable. I am curious about some of the costuming decisions. Particularly as regards Dragomir 'Drag's' finger created forces. I'm curious if the choices were deliberate or due to budget constraints. I did like the Plague Doctor (but I'm always partial to a Plague Doctor, they're so creepy looking) and the voice for him was perfect. I would have loved to see/hear him more than a few of the others, except Bones. I always enjoyed seeing her. The effects were well within their budget and looked quite good. Particularly with the help of judicious editing. One choice that I did really love was Drag's look. Reaper's are generally shown in similar ways: suits, creepy or businesslike. Drag looks a bit greasy and bedraggled. It was an interesting and unique choice.

All in all, while it didn't thrill me much I think that I just wasn't the right audience. I won't try to discourage anyone from seeing it as what strikes your funny bone might just whack me on the elbow. I believe when it finds its right audience it will fare much better.

The Hole (2009)

Not for Smaller Children

[8/10 · 28 November 2018]

I bought this on a whim, thinking it might be somewhat interesting but cheesy. Something along the lines of Sarah Landon and the Paranormal Hour. I was pleasantly, creepily surprised. My son, who was twelve or so at the time, liked it as well. In fact, we still watch it at least once a year or so.

I can't say there's too much original about it but some things stood out to me. You do get the usual "I hate moving" angst speech but, really, it's pretty light and in the main the two boys are supportive of their mother. You can tell there's a tense undercurrent in the family but not quite what for a while. They do a good job of maintaining it until one scene lays it out but even then, it's very subtle until closer to the end.

The characters of Dane and Lucas are well acted. Maybe not phenomenal but solid. Dane's character at first appears to be a bit sulky and I was a bit lukewarm on him but once I picked up on the 'something else' I decided to wait and see and give him a chance. I actually did like the character of Julie more than I thought I would at first. The secondary characters are pretty well fleshed out, also. The creepiness of The Hole itself gives it its own character.

The scares aren't exactly original but they're used decently. One fault of The Hole is an over-reliance on fake jump scares. Even with some of the scares being a bit cliche (yes, a clown makes an appearance) there was one very effective sequence involving a roller coaster at night. Amusement parks are creepy enough but it was an all around good, tense scene that was done very well. Mostly what caught my attention in a positive way was the finale. When Dane goes into The Hole to save his brother. It's not much of a spoiler, you can see it coming a mile away. But once inside is where it gets interesting and I found myself leaning forward and rooting for Dane. Hard. And that rarely happens. And that, good readers, I won't spoil for you.

It's not a perfect movie by any means. Even though the actors are older teens (maybe around 15 or 16?) the scares are middle school level but still enjoyable. The plot moves along fairly well except for a few breaks here and there and a bit of suspension of belief is required in certain areas. Not for the supernatural bits, though. At one point the Heroic Trio is staking out The Hole and the mom comes home. It's one in the morning and she has no problem with the two teens (Dane and the literal girl next door) having been there all night. Apparently her parents are ok with it, too. I have to admit it made me yell, "No freaking way!" and my son said "Now I know it's make-believe!"

I should clarify that even though The Hole is directed by Joe Dante (Gremlins) that did not factor into my review at all. In fact, I didn't even know it was directed by him until looking up the info for the technical details. So this is not a nostalgia review or anything like that. The Hole is a good, solid creepy kid's movie with a pretty good message to it. Especially in the finale.

Curse of the Witch's Doll (2018)

Enjoyable Lower Budget Movie

[7/10 · 14 April 2018]

It seems like I go into a lot of movies with low expectations because the times I do go in expecting a movie to be fantastic I'm always disappointed. And when I go in with very low expectations I'm pleasantly surprised. Curse of the Witch's Doll was one of those times. I really think the cover does it a bit of a disservice. Going from the cover (and title) it looks like an Annabelle clone. That couldn't be farther from the truth.

Unfortunately I can't say too much about Curse of the Witch's Doll because there are quite a few twists and turns that were genuinely surprising and I'd hate to ruin anything. I will only say one thing. The first 'twist' made me roll my eyes a bit but I can guarantee you...stick with it. I promise it's worth it. The pacing is perfect, it always keeps moving forward with no lags at all. This is a movie that relies on acting, atmosphere and mood to scare you and it does it well. I never felt like they were going for the easy scare.

The cinematography is excellent with some truly beautiful and original shots. Combined with some decent CGI the movie is worth watching for that alone. Particularly one scene near the middle. It's a very simple shot but the way its done is just...perfect. The make-up effects are decent. I'm a little torn on the doll itself. I kept going between creepy and goofy. Although there were some genuinely creepy moments with it. There were a lot of times when they didn't go for the obvious jump-scare and used a more subtle effect. I liked that a lot. The sound design was excellent as well. The music is moody in places and only comes to the forefront during the action sequences and never telegraphs the scares. They also mix sounds in very well with the music to give you hints or to just make it creepier.

The acting is great all the way through. Everyone puts their hearts into it and it shows. The dialogue flows smoothly and naturally. There is one speech in particular that Adeline says that I really, really loved. Adeline's words and actions feel very real. You really invest in Adeline's character and, frankly, I was upset with her and for her. The finale of the movie was a bit abrupt. The switch in styles was surprising but understandable. It just left off of one part abruptly so you're a little unsure of what happens next. I mean, you have a pretty good guess but I would have liked a few things cleared up.

I would have liked a bit more information on The Witch. There is absolutely no backstory for her. I would have liked to have known a bit more with that. Presumably she was hung as a witch but how did the doll end up where it did? Was it in the same place? It's hard to say and with the Witch having an obvious French accent I think those parts should have been explained more. Even if it's just through the trusty "ye olde journal" source. All in all I did enjoy it. Enough to want to watch it again and possibly buy it to keep.

Disclaimer: Received from October Coast for review consideration. This in no way affects our reviews.

At Granny's House (2015)

Pray you never get invited to Granny's House, or to watch it...or anything else to do with it

[2/10 · 14 April 2018]

I don't even know where to start with At Granny's House. First, the good. There were some interesting shots of the sky and clouds that were quite beautiful. Bill Oberst Jr.'s character was all too brief because he was wonderful and interesting. Glenda Morgan Brown played her role well and was one of the more enjoyable characters. Rachel Alig had some great facial expressions that showed her emotions much better than the dialogue did. These things combined bumped it up a star to save it from being a one-star watch.

The rest of the movie was ridiculous. The dialogue was stilted and unnatural. I would have to watch Ms. Alig in another movie to tell whether or not this is a good sample of her acting talent. The dialogue and scene direction in At Granny's House was so awkward and blah that I honestly can't tell. I think Glenda Morgan Brown did the best she could with what she was given and her scenes (when her character wasn't written strictly as a prop for Ms. Alig) were often very enjoyable.

The pacing is fairly consistent throughout. It moves at a fairly brisk pace...until about the middle when it turns into a bit of gag-inducing soft-core porn. I say gag-inducing because there's zero chemistry between the two leads and it looks uncomfortably like those scenes were added just to show (and grab) some boob. Since I'm never really thrilled with sex in horror (movies and books) when it's unnecessary this may be something that won't bother other people. If you're watching for the boobies, rest assured, you will see them.

The sound design and soundtrack was just bad. For some reason they felt the need to enhance every single sound. Because by god we need to hear every time the couch squeaks, every foot step, every keyboard click. The soundtrack wasn't much better. The music wasn't outright terrible but it was unoriginal and overused. From the moment the character of Rebecca walks in she might as well have "I'm creepy!!" tattooed on her forehead because the music is not subtle about it. Even the blandest line is accentuated with music to make it sound fraught with meaning.

I honestly don't know what to say about the plot. Everything is so glaringly obvious that I'm not sure what I'd be spoiling. The only two real mysteries that are presented are never explained. I'm not sure if they were even supposed to be mysteries or if the plot just overlooked them. The first is why Rebecca is killing people to begin with. She apparently hates people who are rude and ignore others while on their phone. However, in the movie it seems to act as an intense trigger for her. Even though they get a plethora of people she only kills those who are rude, especially in the phone usage area. So it seems like there would be a reason or something at least. Nope. Never explained. What is also never explained is why 'Granny', out of the blue, decides to help cover their crime. And, oddly enough, from the first. Even before she knows there has been an actual crime committed she's covering. I was hoping for a skeleton (literally or figuratively) in Granny's closet. But no, nothing. I did get the feeling there may have been a plot point in there somewhere that they decided not to use. It's a shame, really. Granny was one of the better characters and if she had an interesting story I may have forgiven a bit more.

Between the wooden dialogue and nonsensical plot I cannot recommend this movie.

Disclaimer: We received a review screener of At Granny's House from the publicist for review consideration. This is no way affects our review.

Before Twelve (2005)

Decent Enough for a First Film Short

[5/10 · 6 February 2018]

Before Twelve has the distinction of being the first horror short to be reviewed here at Sci-Fi & Scary. I've mentioned them before in the trivia sections of This is Horror but this is the first full-on review. It also seems to be an early film for all involved so even grinchy old me will go a little easier on it.

The concept of Before Twelve was pretty interesting. The basic idea is that 666 breaks down into 18 = 18 hours of the day belong to people but the hours between 12:00 a.m. and 6:00 a.m. belong to the powers of evil. It's an interesting idea and I could see it being a decent movie hook if expanded properly.

The direction, editing and scoring for Before Twelve are very good. There are no extra scenes to drag it out and each scene is very clear in its purpose. The cinematography, while not stunning, is very capable. And really, there's only so much you can do with city and house scenes. There's just not much to work with.

The Entity is kind of your basic hooded figure and the camera has no trouble showing it. However (and I can't believe I'm saying this) this might be a movie where a little more mystery would have been better. Thea McCartan and Christina Shipp as sisters Diane and Heather are a little awkward together but it works for the short.

There are a few issues with Before Twelve, however. The quality seems as though a low-grade film was used and then coupled with a blue filter for night. I could be wrong but in one scene where it's supposed to be night, the window behind Heather is lit up like it's mid-afternoon. So they either have one heck of a security light or aliens are landing.

Unfortunately the character who carries much of the story is Heather. I'm sure Ms. Shipp has improved as an actress (this was her first role) so, again, I'm not going to be too harsh but her performance just wasn't very convincing. Even while telling her sister of an upsetting experience she has a very flat voice with no real emotion to it. Thea McCartan as the older sister, Diane did quite well for it being her first outing as well. The worst that I can say is (and this could be something in the sound department) that while her words are clear, there's this weird clicking noise that sounds exactly like she has a cough drop or candy in her mouth.

All in all, Before Twelve is an enjoyable watch. I have to admit that I've seen better but I've also seen much, much worse. If you have a spare twenty minutes I suggest giving it a watch.

Live Evil (2015)

It's Evil. Probably Evil.

[6/10 · 6 February 2018]

I honestly didn't know what to expect from Live Evil. Because it was listed as a horror/comedy I went in thinking it was going to be something along the lines of Scary Movie or Deathgasm. It's not. In fact, I'd be hard pressed to really call it a comedy. There were some funny moments, well, a lot of funny moments, but horror has always been a genre that can fuse horror and comedy but still be a straight-up horror movie. I think that's more where Live Evil falls.

The cast was great together. I particularly loved Hancock (Charlene Amoia) and Sheriff Pete (Vladimir Kulich). They were awesome together and had a wonderful chemistry. Not a romantic chemistry but more like very good friends/mentor relationship. In fact, I was very pleased at the lack of romance between them. It was very refreshing. Most Wanted #11 and Most Wanted #12 were great as well. I honestly don't remember if the movie says they were brothers or not but for some reason that's the impression that I got. Either way, it worked well.

Live Evil is split into chapters, which I'll admit threw me at first. But it's clear from the start that it sets out to have its own, unique style. I particularly liked the black and white aesthetic with the splashes of red. For those who aren't keen on back and white the movie does go to full color later in the movie. The effects work well for the most part. I loved the look of the Not-Zombies (I still have to wonder if they weren't inspired by Iron Maiden's 'Eddie' just a smidgen). I would love to say more about their eyes but since it ties into the plot I'll let you see for yourselves.The only effects that seemed a bit off to me were the gunfire. It looked kind of weird.

I would have loved to give it a five but there were some things I was a little less than enthused about. The plot was a little looser in spots than it should have been. While some of the unexplained things fit in with the mystery of it, others could have/should have been more explained. One of the bigger disappointments was the end. It seemed very abrupt and I'm not really a fan of movies (or books, or video games) that just end. To me it seems to be a cop-out to where they don't have to think of an ending. It doesn't have to be a big ball of Happy Ever After but I want some kind of resolution. Unfortunately I can't go into many of the others as they are mostly plot related. The one thing I can wonder about is the bell. It seems important but I'm not sure why or what it does or what it did. There was a semi-twist to it that I thought was set up well. There are hints to it (I started wondering mid-way through) but it's not so telegraphed that it's disappointing.

All in all while I wasn't "I have got to get this!" I was not disappointed, either. And I can't stress enough how much of a role the cast played in that. The actors give their characters their all and it shows. With a weaker cast and less chemistry between Hancock and Sheriff Pete it could have easily flopped. If you go in expecting slapstick you will most likely be disappointed. If, however, you appreciate a more quiet humour then you'll be pleased with Live Evil. Probably Evil.

Blair Witch (2016)

Should Have Left Off With Book of Shadows

[1/10 · 6 February 2018]

After hearing that the movie filming under the name of 'The Woods' was really Blair Witch, I was very excited to see it. I loved The Blair Witch Project and I even love it's sequel, Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2. Despite it's generally poor reception Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 was a decent enough follow-up to The Blair Witch Project and at least tried to do something different. I think it would have been better received if the studio hadn't interfered with the cut-in shots of them running through the woods throughout, it takes away a bit of the did they/didn't they y the time it gets to the end. It certainly would have left a better legacy than the confused mess that is Blair Witch.

It starts out bland and goes downhill from there. The characterizations vary between flat and outright annoying. In a bizarre stroke of laziness the character of Lisa is the only one to even be given a last name. There will probably be unmarked spoilers from here on in because Blair Witch is so confusing that I'm not even sure what would be a spoiler and what would not be.

They take all of the mythology from The Blair Witch Project and instead of building on it they strip it, make their own and throw the rest out of the window. Much to the detriment of the movie. Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 at least tried to make a different statement but kept the core mythology intact.

Every cliche from every found footage horror movie is certainly on full display here. Annoying personalities that clash? Check. Stupid decisions at every turn? Check. These are common tropes in horror but Blair Witch ratchets them up to eleven.

The one thing Blair Witch manages to avoid is the eventual found footage argument about why they keep filming. They get around that by using earcams (that stay remarkably hair-free). Of course that leaves them plenty of time to argue over even stupider stuff. Like their drone. It's established early on that it's useless but when it becomes stuck in a tree it's the end of the world.

The camera work is so jerky and choppy that through the second half of Blair Witch it becomes practically incomprehensible. Presumably scary things happen but they go by so quickly that it's hard to even make out what happened. I have a feeling that they intended to use the drone footage more than they actually did. If it was cut, my guess would be because it made theater goers ill. I don't usually have a problem with motion sickness (I was fine in the first Blair Witch) and the drone shots made me a bit queasy. I'd be curious to know if anyone else had a problem with it.

A 'creature' appears near the end but it's unclear from the movie whether or not it is the Blair Witch or not. I have heard that on the commentary the directors claim that it is not the Blair Witch and that the clues are in the movie. If anyone figures it out, please let me know. I'm not watching it again to find out. All I could tell from it was that it looked rather like a skinny, mossy Ent.

If you want a good found footage horror I'd go back to The Blair Witch Project. It at least had some effort and creativity behind it. Hell, Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 for all of it's faults is great cinema next to the convoluted mess that is Blair Witch.

Bones (2001)

Maybe not perfect but still very enjoyable

[8/10 · 21 January 2018]

With a 4.1 rating on IMDB this movie, in my opinion, is criminally underrated. There are a few missteps but overall this is a well-done mix of horror with a crime mystery to chew on as well.

The sets of Bones are great. I love the Bones building. The City of the Dead has a great atmosphere and the lighting makes it look cold and unforgiving. The CGI might be a bit iffy by today's standards but it still holds up decently.

The plot is a creepy mix of horror, Tales from the Crypt, and a crime mystery with an urban legend vibe to it. These elements seem like they shouldn't work together well but they do. I believe this is due, in part, to how streamlined the plot actually is. The intro scene shows us the building, gives us a tease about what might be lurking there and keeps up the tension from there. The credit sequence gives us a mini-story, entirely visually, about the street itself. From its good days to how it ended up without Bones' patronage and the introduction of crack. A lot of reviews slam the movie about not hammering this point home but c'mon. It's a horror movie. It makes its point and sets up the fact that Bones was keeping his neighborhood tight and going strong. And just like an good larger-than'life character that verges into legend he even has his own song.

"This is the story of Jimmy Bones, dark as night and hard as stone. Gold-plated deuce like the King of Siam, got a switchblade loose and a diamond on his hand"

And, this is a bit nit-picky, but I love knives so this stood out to me. I'd like to point out that the knife Jimmy uses is a butterfly knife. And quite well. They look easy to twirl around but they're not. Trust me. Got a few knuckle and finger scars to prove it. But switchblade was probably easier to work into a rhyme than butterfly knife.

The younger cast members are able in their parts. Patrick, the son of one of Bones' friends, along with his step-sister Tia, their brother Bill and friend Maurice is purchasing the house to turn it into a club - Illbient. The supernatural crap hits the fan when they discover a random dog that they keep and feed, unknowingly bringing Bones back to life. They also find a skeleton in the basement that they blow off with surprising ease. Maurice also pulls a 'bonehead' move early on when not only does he steal Bones' ring but breaks off a finger to do so. One thing you do not do is steal the Doggfather's ring. Ever. They don't really stand out but they move the story along capably enough and don't drag it down.

The haunting portion of it is a little uneven as sometimes the scenes seem to be a little random. They culminate in Bones being fully reincarnated (well, as much as a ghost can be) in a very freaking cool vision/nightmare sequence. Seriously, this part alone is worth watching it for. If for nothing else than to see Snoop do a badass gunslinger stroll.

Really, for me, the best parts were the mystery portions. It's pretty easy to figure out who did what and why but it still draws you in. Barring Bones' return, they're some of the best portions in the movie. Bones' revenge is fun and full of all kinds of craziness like a bleeding pool table, talking heads and a whole City of the Dead. A bit of humour is injected into the plot at this point and you'll either love it or hate it. I thought it was a nice nod to the Tales from the Crypt style that Snoop obviously loves. Don't believe me? Check out Hood of Horror. Tales from the Crypting all over the place. Some people didn't like it, however, complaining it broke the more serious mood set up previously.

This may seem like an overly long review but it is a lot harder than I thought it would be. Analyzing it, a lot of the parts don't seem to match and it doesn't sound very good. But when you're watching it that doesn't seem to matter. It sucks you in and doesn't let go. And there are some very genuinely awesome scenes. The previously mentioned nightmare scene, the City of the Dead, and Bones' betrayal. It's (quite literally) a stab in the heart.

A lot of that is due to the charisma between Snoop and Pam Grier, the original Foxy Brown. Their chemistry is great together. As a side-note, watching the DVD commentary it's cute to see Snoop basically fangirling about being able to kiss Foxy Brown and be her boyfriend. Who, I will say, is looking pretty damn foxy in it.

In wrap-up this movie is creepy, cool and just outright fun to watch.

In the Mouth of Madness (1994)

Have you read Sutter Cane?

[10/10 · 4 January 2018]

I can't believe that it took me so long to watch this movie. It has practically everything I love in it: Lovecraft, Stephen King, and a ton of references to look for and spot and conjecture about. In short, I'm very disappointed in myself for not watching it sooner. In my defense, I had no idea it was even about a book, so, there ya go.

I loved the plot to it. It was creepy and took many unexpected twists and turns. Reality itself gets distorted in interesting ways that did not come across as cheatery and contrived. It also raises some interesting questions about readers and the free will of the characters in fiction.

Sorry, a small digression here. Just pretend for a moment that it's true (c'mon, you can do it, you guys read horror and sci-fi. I know you have imaginations). That a fictional character is aware of what is happening to him or her. They realize this but can't do anything about it. They are forced to live through whatever unimaginable horror the author can think of to inflict upon them. I can't imagine anything more horrifying. I'm not really talking about meta-horror, exactly, because to me it's a different kind of awareness.

Anyways, you didn't read this to get my half-assed attempt at midnight psychology. You want to hear about the movie. It starts out with a bang and the pace keeps up until the last fifteen minutes or so. It does start to slow down a bit near the end but it's a necessary slowness so it's acceptable. The plot stays on point throughout without any digressions that don't add to the movie.

The effects are top-notch and some really managed to give me the creeps. Some of the creepier ones are also the most simple. Maybe not simple to pull off but in the plot they're somewhat minor happenings but add to the general atmosphere and general creepiness. The bridge into Hobb's End. The changing picture. Simple, but very effective. And the creature effects? Excellent.

Sam Neill is very believable as the cocky insurance investigator, totally convinced he is the master of his own, cynical view of the world. Julie Carmen is very able in her role, if a little lat at times but since I've never seen her in anything else I'm not really sure if that was an acting choice or her typical acting ability. Jürgen Prochnow is perfect as the "author" of the end of the world. Oddly enough, this is not the first time Jürgen has brought about the Apocalypse. The first time was in a movie called 'The Seventh Sign" (which I'll be reviewing soon). He's perfect as the elusive Sutter Cane. Even the secondary characters are played well.

And of course, all the references. I'd love to point out as many as I noticed (and I'm pretty sure there's more I didn't) but since some are plot points I don't want to spoil anything for you. I don't like to assume that just because a movie is older then it's ok to tell the whole story. Suffice it to say that there are many and Lovecraft and King fans alike will have many happy egg hunts.

There is only one part that I don't get and it bugs me: SLIGHT SPOILER AHEAD BUT A MINOR ONE - How on Earth did he figure out that the book covers make a map? Was it wiping the ink under his eyes? I have no idea.

Power Rangers (2017)

I Loved It

[10/10 · 3 January 2018]

I have to admit. I was a Power Rangers addict in my early to late teens. I first got hooked on it when I watched it with my nephew...and then without. When I had my son I refreshed my love of it. I don't pretend to be a Power Rangers expert but I have an abiding affection for it. So, it set my geeky little heart all a-flutter when I saw the trailer for it. It was also a good trailer. It showed just enough to make you want to see it and not too much.

Power Rangers started in the early nineties (1993), ran for quite a few seasons and with different variations. The show itself was pretty basic. Some kind of monster would show up, the Rangers would morph, kick some bad guy butt, rinse and repeat. They did start adding a bit more story as the show went on but the formula remained pretty much the same. It caught some flack because some kids were trying out the moves on each other and it was "extremely violent". Never mind the fact that the show stressed teamwork, friendship and loyalty.

I really wasn't expecting much, to be honest, even with the cool trailer. I was very pleasantly surprised. More than pleasantly surprised.

I loved it.

The story starts out normally. The usual detention Breakfast-Clubbers are thrown together by chance and after a mis-guided explosion at a gold mine they find the Power coins. That's when the fun begins. Afterwards they start noticing they've changed. They discover a buried spaceship, which tells them their purpose and what they've become. They are now the Power Rangers and have approximately eleven days to save their town (and the world) from Rita Repulsa, who (coincidentally) has also been re-awakened. Then the fun really starts

The acting was quite good, much better than I expected. The relationships were pretty realistically portrayed. They weren't instant friends nor instant antagonists. There was also no insta-love or love triangles for which I was profoundly grateful. There was also no petty bickering or cattiness between the two female leads which was very refreshing.

There were a few cheesy moments but I expected a little cheese and it was good cheese. The difference between generic slices and real chedddar.

There were some very unexpected twists and parts that actually surprised me. I mean, really surprised me. I'd love to say more but why spoil it for you?

One thing I'd also like to mention is that the PG-13 guideline is well-earned. There were some moments that were very intense and one or two made me cringe a bit. Not cringe, as in it's terrible and hokey, but a cringe as in it was a little hard to watch.

And the villain? I'm not going to say much but don't go in expecting the doofy Rita Repulsa of old. This chick is scary. And pretty awesome looking.

There were many a part that made my geeky little heart flutter. There were a few in-jokes here and there that were balanced perfectly. Not too many, so as to make it nothing but referential humor. The dramatic parts were balanced quite well with the more comedic and action parts. I was afraid it would go 'Godzilla' on me. Too many people, not enough action.

I was a tad bit leery early on with the way a couple of the car chase scenes were shot. They were very choppy and quick so I was worried that the action sequences would be the same. I needn't have worried. They were great! I loved The Zords. If there hadn't been people sitting in front of me I may have squeed a bit. I may have anyways.

In wrap-up it was an awesome nostalgia to indulge in with my son. It's always nice to have a nerd-out together every now and then. For younger viewers some of the scenes might be a bit too intense, though.

Blair Witch (2016)

They Should Have Stopped with Book of Shadows

[1/10 · 3 January 2018]

After hearing that the movie filming under the name of 'The Woods' was really Blair Witch, I was very excited to see it. I loved The Blair Witch Project and I even love it's sequel, Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2. Despite it's generally poor reception Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 was a decent enough follow-up to The Blair Witch Project. It certainly would have left a better legacy than the confused mess that is Blair Witch.

It starts out bland and goes downhill from there. The characterizations vary between flat and outright annoying. In a bizarre stroke of laziness the character of Lisa is the only one to even be given a last name. There will probably be unmarked spoilers from here on in because Blair Witch is so confusing that I'm not even sure what would be a spoiler and what would not be.

They take all of the mythology from The Blair Witch Project and instead of building on it they strip it, make their own and throw the rest out of the window. Much to the detriment of the movie. Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 at least tried to make a different statement but kept the core mythology intact.

Every cliche from every found footage horror movie is certainly on full display here. Annoying personalities that clash? Check. Stupid decisions at every turn? Check. These are common tropes in horror but Blair Witch ratchets them up to eleven.

The one thing Blair Witch manages to avoid is the eventual found footage argument about why they keep filming. They get around that by using earcams (that stay remarkably hair-free). Of course that leaves them plenty of time to argue over even stupider stuff. Like their drone. It's established early on that it's useless but when it becomes stuck in a tree it's the end of the world.

The camera work is so jerky and choppy that through the second half of Blair Witch it becomes practically incomprehensible. Presumably scary things happen but they go by so quickly that it's hard to even make out what happened. I have a feeling that they intended to use the drone footage more than they actually did. If it was cut, my guess would be because it made theater goers ill. I don't usually have a problem with motion sickness (I was fine in the first Blair Witch) and the drone shots made me a bit queasy. I'd be curious to know if anyone else had a problem with it.

A 'creature' appears near the end but it's unclear from the movie whether or not it is the Blair Witch or not. I have heard that on the commentary the directors claim that it is not the Blair Witch and that the clues are in the movie. If anyone figures it out, please let me know. I'm not watching it again to find out. All I could tell from it was that it looked rather like a skinny, mossy Ent.

If you want a good found footage horror I'd go back to The Blair Witch Project. It at least had some effort and creativity behind it. Hell, Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 for all of it's faults is great cinema next to the convoluted mess that is Blair Witch.

Sarah Landon and the Paranormal Hour (2007)

Perfect for the Tweens

[4/10 · 13 November 2017]

I'll lay out the plot of Sarah Landon and the Paranormal Hour (quite the title, huh?) real quick since none of the synopses I've found make it very clear. Don't worry, there won't be any spoilers as most of what I'm going to say is shown in the first ten minutes or so:

Sarah Landon has recently lost her best friend in a car accident caused by a drunk driver. When she's invited to spend the weekend with her friend's grandmother, she goes. On the way into town her car breaks down mysteriously so she ends up staying a little longer than planned. The mechanic has his assistant give her a ride to the grandmother's house but before she goes the mechanic tells her all about Matt's family. Apparently Matt and David's mother got in a car accident with her nephew, Johnny, town sports star and all around great guy. His dad was not so nice of a guy. He was always bragging about his son and when the crash happened he blamed his sister for Johnny's death and threatened to kill her son when David reaches the age his son was when the crash happened, 21. He was found dead, the day of his son's funeral. Afterwards his ghost torments Matt and David's mother, driving her insane. Their father, being the charming man he is, left his sons with an almost catatonic mother. David withdraws into himself, searching for a way to evade the curse. So that's the story Sarah jumps into.

The writing could be a bit better. A lot of the exposition is clunky and I honestly thought that it was partly adapted from a book. It was supposed to be the start of a series and I think if they had kept it as a video release it would have fared better. I'm a little disappointed it didn't, to be honest. However, the exposition cuts down on some of the moments that may be more intense for younger viewers. The acting is a bit awkward at times and you can definitely tell that the actors are not pros. I can hear you now...why give the movie a three? Because it's a cute, engaging story that is actually pretty coherent and follows its own logic well. The movie moves a bit slowly in the beginning due to all of the flashbacks and exposition but after that it moves at a fairly even pace. I think most of the low ratings come from adults viewing it with adult eyes. Most of the kids that have watched it (that I know of) have enjoyed it.

The cinematography in Sarah Landon and the Paranormal Hour isn't stunning but, again, it's adequate. It's not grainy, jerky or choppily edited. In fact, the editing is actually pretty good. There are no unnecessary scenes and they go together in a coherent, well- progressed manner. The few effects seemed to be mostly practical. Not surprising for a lower budget movie. They stick to what is easily done but it's also realistic within the frame of the movie. The ghostly effects are probably CGI (or a reasonable facsimile) but they didn't get too ambitious and make it look goofy.

The character of Sarah Landon is played to what I believe is the best of Rissa Walters' ability (and it was refreshing to see a girl who is pretty but not unrealistically so). The characters of the brothers are played by actual brothers and they bring what they have to the table too. They may not be pros but they give it their best and that counts for something. The story, despite the grim sounding outline above, is perfectly suitable for younger kids. I would put the age range between 7 or 8 - 13. To be honest, I still watch it from time to time, myself. I first watched it with my son when he was around 10 and he loved it. It had just the right amount of spookiness and creepiness for a younger audience. There might be one minor swear (I believe it's damn or hell). The romance angle (and you will rarely hear me say this) was cute and pretty believable. It wasn't insta-love or insta-lust, it was a date. There was no sucking of faces or pawing which will especially make it suitable for younger viewers.

So if you want a spooky story and don't mind acting ability that is more serviceable than outstanding, Sarah Landon and the Paranormal Hour is a great choice for those young ones that are in the in- betweens.