remotePortal Reviews

This Is the End (2013)

Funny but Vile

[5/10 · 11 June 2013]

"The End" is creative and funny but be prepared for a new low of bathroom and pornographic humor.

I can't recommend this movie for anyone under 18... maybe even 21... heck, I wouldn't want my 24 year old daughter to see this. The dialog is as explicit and raunchy as an X-rated movie sans the actual women, sex and nudity.

"The End" is highly recommended for folks that enjoy drug-related humor as much of the content is based on that.

The movie is a light hearted horror movie that does well at self-deprecation and pokes fun at itself. It doesn't take itself too seriously. I bet there was constant laughter on the movie sets as they were filming it.

Peeples (2013)

African American "Meet the Parents" Good Movie! (4/5 stars)

[7/10 · 10 May 2013]

My first perception was that Peeples would be a dumb movie and a waste of my valuable time.

I'm a fan of the "Meet the Parents" franchise and regularly quote memorable lines from the screenplay ("you can't say bomb on an airplane!... circle of trust… etc.") from the screenplay. So, I thought I'd give Peeples a shot to see how bad it might be.

I WAS WRONG!

This is a funny movie well worth your time!

From the first scene I was smitten with Craig Robinson's charisma and satisfactorily carried the leading role throughout.

The rest of the characters are PERFECTLY CAST, especially the Robert De Niro father character spot-on played by David Alan Grier. He demanded respect and I never doubted he was a Federal judge.

The only flaw of the movie was perhaps some choppy editing and a scene on a boat that only confused and added no value to the movie… should have been left on the cutting room floor.

Warning: It should be rated R instead of PG-13 for mature topics (sexual spankings, lesbian situations, etc.)

Bottom Line: 4/5 stars. Not as memorable as "Meet the Parents" but perhaps consistently funnier from scene to scene; overall more laughs.

Pete (49 year old Caucasian male in North Carolina)

The Sessions (2012)

My life is a little richer and deeper after watching this movie!

[8/10 · 9 November 2012]

The Sessions is non-traditional coming of age movie with a refreshing original premise. At first I felt uncomfortable with the physical condition of the main character, but that's the point of the movie--to stretch us out of our comfort zone and empathize with others peoples' life experiences. The female lead, Helen Hunt, did a terrific job playing her character... I really enjoyed her performance. The movie had many fun and tender moments, and always kept my attention. Due to the subject matter there is lots of front female nudity and explicit sexual dialog and activity, so absolutely no kids or teens should see this movie! If you're in the mood for an "art house" movie and need a break from mainline Hollywood movies, this one is a good choice. My wife and I really enjoyed The Sessions and we're glad we saw it!

Here Comes the Boom (2012)

Here Comes the Favorable Review! My Favorite Movie of 2012!

[10/10 · 12 October 2012]

My wife and I really enjoyed this movie! It's a must see if you've been waiting for a quality family movie and provides a full spectrum of Friday night entertainment. Even though it won't win any Academy Awards it's my favorite movie of 2012 because it just made me feel good.

Good Points: Perfect casting; all the characters were very believable and enjoyable to watch. I really liked Henry Winkler's performance. He stole the show. The movie is genuinely funny with many out loud moments. It's a family movie with a clean positive message. It was also touching at times. The screenplay was well-written. It's didn't contain too many original ideas but you know it really didn't matter--it was satisfying. It wasn't a cheaply made movie; it showed a quality production and was the pacing was perfect--I was thoroughly engrossed from beginning to end and it never lagged. Salma Hayek provided both eye candy and a lot of substance.

Bad Points: There really wasn't anything bad about the movie. Perhaps it was slightly corny but I didn't care. It contained violent and bloody fighting scenes, so exercise caution for children under 8 years old. The title of the movie is odd and I wish they had chosen a better title.

10/10 rating; well worth a full price ticket!

Unknown (I) (2011)

Waaaay better than a 7.4 (IMDB current rating) This is a MUST SEE!!!

[10/10 · 6 March 2011]

Often you see a preview for a movie and get excited but unfortunately many times the trailer is better than the movie itself. When I saw the first glimpses of this movie I immediately said "Oh, I gotta see this!" I was excited when it finally hit theaters and noticed IMDb voters rated it in the "sevens" meaning it was worth watching--I only pay full price if a movie is at least a 7.0 voting rating.

Well, my wife and I walked out of the theater saying this movie is a 9! It rocks! The acting and drama is very good.

The premise of the plot is outstanding... how in the world did this happen to him? It's a great ride finding out.

I would recommend this to everyone I know.

I would only take kids at least 15 years old because of a few steamy scenes (that I enjoyed) but wouldn't want my ten year old to see.

Herbie Fully Loaded (2005)

Captured the Spirit of the Original Movies -- Loved It!

[10/10 · 26 June 2005]

First of all, let me say that I'm a 41 year old man who saw all of the original Love Bug movies with my mom growing up in Chicago.

This movie is an instant classic! It captured the fun spirit of the original moves--I felt like very little time had passed and the same magic was present in this movie. It's was fun, zany, cute, and endearing.

My nine year old daughter and I laughed and cheered through the whole thing. It's a solid 'A' rating and 5/5 stars in both of our eyes. We couldn't stop talking about how good it was after leaving the theater.

The acting wouldn't win an Oscar but was more than adequate for a kids' movie.

The story was well written. It did a great job bridging the past to the current time-frame. It was also pretty original and employed modern racing car themes like monster trucks and NASCAR.

I don't understand why the general public and professional critics are rating it so low. It's a kids' movie and likewise one has to have the correct mind-set when viewing it. I was swept away from the beginning and it kept me engaged. So many other movies these days have various flaws that keep coming to mind when you watch them; this movie was just fine.

Go see this movie with your kids. It's refreshingly clean and a blast!

The Passion of the Christ (2004)

One of the greatest movies of all time

[29 February 2004]

(a single very small spoiler)

I believe that The Passion is a remarkable movie that will be remembered as one of the greatest movies of all time. Long after "50 First Dates" is forgotten The Passion of The Christ will take its place among the such movies as Gone with the Wind, Star Wars, Casablanca, Citizen Kane, Schlinder's List, and the Wizard of Oz.

Although Passion deeply touches the hearts of the Christian community the movie should also be interesting to atheists, agnostics and unbelievers alike since Jesus of Nazareth is undeniably one of the top 10 most influential people of all mankind in the ranks of Muhammad, Issac Newton, Buddha, Confucius, Ts'ai Lun, and Johann Gutenberg. Contemplating Jesus' suffering is essential to a complete and well-rounded understanding of history.

I was emotionally gripped from the very first scene. I stopped eating my popcorn as I got the distinct feeling it would be disrespectful to keep eating it while watching Jesus suffer. Whereas "Ben-Her: A Tale of the Christ" alludes to the compassion of Christ, Passion focuses on the massive sin equation between himself and all of mankind. He drives the point home. Robyn and I enjoyed Gibson's unique perspective. He purposely made some omissions and added some extras to make the movie more interesting. For instance, you never hear the cock crow after three denials.

The movie was very well made with excellent production values. I couldn't help but feel that the score inspired by the emotionally turbulent Fantasia on a Theme by English composer Thomas Tallis.

Passion offers entertainment only in the sense of a diversion from ordinary life is concerned; there is no content that amuses or pleases. You ARE there in the crowd watching Jesus. Passion offers an experience.

I don't understand the whole Anti-Semitism controversy. One learns in the first five minutes of Christian doctrine that it was mans' sin that crucified Jesus, not the Jewish people. The Jewish authorities are no more responsible for his death than Adam and Eve were responsible for being kicked out of the garden. I would have eaten the apple, too.

Also, regarding the thoughts expressed on TV that "after this movie Gibson will never work in Hollywood again." Give me a break.

Near the end my wife and I wondered "how in the world are they going to end this thing?" We were pleased with how Gibson ended it.

In conclusion, we owe a debt to Gibson for making this movie. It's one of those "how come it look so long for this movie to be made" feelings. Without this movie, there would definitely be a hole and it would be missed.

Bring tissue.

The Music Man (1962)

Ye Gods! My daughter kept rewinding the scenes over and over!

[10/10 · 26 August 2001]

My five year old daughter enjoyed this movie so much that she kept rewinding the scenes over and over and over! The singing and dancing is great! Preston is amazing. BTW, when he is first walking into town and learning about IO-WAY you can see the "back lot" California hills in the distance. IO-WAY is flat!

Spoilers Follow

At the end of the movie Preston finally chooses love, potential family, and stability over finances. The love of Marion tugs him enough to stay.

She's Having a Baby (1988)

Hilarious!

[10/10 · 26 October 2000]

This is one of my favorite movies that just about every married person and parent can identify with. I love the narration by Bacon. I rated this movie a '10'. Don't take it too seriously. Great work. It is really fun to watch. Very funny. Very true. Very sweet. Good drama. Fun for the family. Not vile.