ultravelocity Reviews

The Matrix Resurrections (I) (2021)

What the hell did I just watch?

[2/10 · 28 December 2021]

I never thought it would be possible to mess up a movie this bad. It looked cheap with no memorable action sequences. Fights are filmed with shaky cam, and can't tell what's going on half the time, but it doesn't matter because the story is utter garbage. This movie should've never been made.

Army of the Dead (2021)

I like most zombie movies but this was bad

[3/10 · 11 August 2021]

This was not a good movie. I'm not sure why the studios let this director make awful movies. Plot holes, bad acting, mediocre action, predictable, and not very entertaining. I regret watching it.

First Man (2018)

What did I just watch? Incredibly boring!

[4/10 · 31 March 2019]

What a disappointment. Can't remember the last time I watched such a slow, boring, bland movie. They sucked all the excitement out of the achievement. Skip this one.

Jupiter Ascending (2015)

Just plain awful

[1/10 · 14 February 2015]

This was easily one of the worst movies I have ever been to. What else can be said. Everything about it was just awful. And I went in knowing it was going to be a terrible story, but maybe I would enjoy the special effects and action scenes. Unfortunately, a man-dog wearing eyeliner roller skating in the air fighting bad guys looks as ridiculous and dumb as it sounds. Mila Kunis felt completely miscast and had no chemistry with Channing Tatum, who was playing the same boring dumb hero he always does. The action sequences were a mess... impossible to tell what was going on.

I watch a lot of movies and have only walked out on a handful in my life, but I could not make it through more than 70 minutes of this ridiculous film. Don't waste your time. It's awful.

It boggles my mind how a movie like this gets made. Someone please stop these two from making any more!