zerofilms Reviews

Geekin' (2006)

Promising Idea Falls Flat

[4/10 · 29 July 2007]

The idea has promise - a movie diving into the social structure of geeks. There have been others (the amusing at times FREE ENTERPRISE) but none made by geeks for geeks. I'm usually a sucker for films about sub-cultures and the people who make them up...and I'm always game for a DIY film made with more love and passion than most soulless Hollywood productions...

Unfortunately, GEEKIN falls very short. Sure, the acting is not that great (the all too obvious blocking makes every scene feel too staged and awkward) but the movie does have a pretty polished look, so from a technical standpoint, it's not bad.

But the movies starts well enough - with the beginning of a sweet geek romance between a shy guy and his internet friend (who he has just met for the first time). But soon after, the story goes off the rails...

My single biggest complaint about the movie are the characters. At first, they do highly questionable things (I'm treading lightly here to avoid spoilers)...but then they move into flat-out amoral stunts that had me floored. These were not a writer's bid for interesting, flawed characters - these were sleazy acts that scorched any tokens of sympathy or likability you had for the characters.

By the end of the movie there was not a single character I could relate to anymore or even understand on any level. Their actions were so completely disgusting that you were left wondering why anyone would want to care what happened to them. Really - it's that bad. It would be one thing if the movie took these immoral characters and explored the consequences of their actions in an intelligent way. But that is not what GEEKIN does.

It's difficult to write about this movie...it's not all bad. I wanted to like it, I really did - and there are points and places I truly enjoyed. But the jewels of good storytelling are buried in the manure of unhealthy behavior and the appalling notion that the filmmakers see nothing wrong in what their characters do to each other.

To the movie's credit - they end on at least a logical note. The DVD has an alternate ending which would have been happier, but also false considering everything that had happened.

Movies like this are frustrating. You can't write them off as simply "bad" but you can't very well recommend them either. While I'm not sorry I saw it, I can't say I will watch it again.

GhostWatcher (2002)

Worth Seeing...by renting...with a coupon....on a night with nothing on TV.

[12 January 2005]

Why is that even the most ambitious shot-on-video-we-had-no-money thriller gets some things right, but always manages to get something else horribly wrong? One film will have great visuals and a dynamic soundtrack...but the story makes no sense and nobody can act. Another film will have a fantastic story, but the film looks like it was shot with a camcorder strapped to a hyperactive puppy.

Such is the case here - good story (for the first half), surprisingly decent acting, character development (Shocking in a shot on video feature like this) and even a few creepy scenes. BUT - the story falls apart very quickly and the plot holes begin to get bigger and bigger...

THE GOOD: The leads. Really - I must tip my hat to them. All three were quite good. Most films like this cast either one of two types of actors: either they OVERACT and chew scenery in the worst way, or they mumble their lines and go for most of the running time of the film doing their impression of cardboard. Here, I actually found myself getting a bit into the story because I started to grow fond of the leads. That is also why I really got ticked off when the film falls apart.

The scares. One genuine moment of creepiness - I won't spoil it, but it happens during a very unconvincing fake offscreen storm complete with indoor lightning (someone flicking the light switch on and off real fast). The subtle GOTCHA moment is pretty good - smart, low key and effective. Also, a visit to a farmhouse in the middle of nowhere is handled quite well. Bravo to the filmmakers for really getting the most out a location.

The story. Again, tip-toeing lightly here to avoid spoilage...the reason for why the ghost was haunting her? Good idea. Very effective.

THE BAD: Without giving away the ending...C'MON GUYS! Why? Why after setting up a truly interesting idea and concept do you throw it all away on a ridiculous Hollywood cat-and-mouse sequence with special effects you know you didn't have the money to pull off? It's silly and does not work.

THE WTF??: When our hero starts looking into the world of ghost hunters...she runs across a website run by our other "hero" which is half ghost hunting, half peep show "voyeur dorm" type website. Our hero rolls her eyes at the idea...BUT THEN EMAILS HER WITH A DESPERATE PLEA FOR HELP! There are hundreds of ghost hunting websites out there...why only this one, which is obviously a farce? When her and her friend later berate the website owner for being a fraud and only concerned with money - I kept waiting for the web girl to spit back "Well what did you expect?!?" They knew she was running a peep show - so why do they pin all their hopes on her? Perhaps a simple scene showing our hero auditioning various ghost hunters in the area would have made the scenario work more, make the peep show girl the last resort...but as it stands - you just want to smack her upside the head and tell her that when your life and sanity are on the line, it's a good idea to shop around before choosing a ghost hunter.

Futurama (1999– )

Underrated Masterpiece

[11 August 2003]

While THE SIMPSONS remains arguably the best sitcom to ever grace the airwaves (don't even try to convince me the uneven and overrated SEINFELD is worthy of the title - there is a reason not one of the castmates has been able to jumpstart their own series) FUTURAMA is well...basically THE SIMPSONS on acid. While THE SIMPSONS loves its flights of surreal whimsy - FUTURAMA expands on this more and more, giving the writers a whole universe to pontificate on. The humor on this show works on several levels - most who tell you they didn't like it are the ones who missed it. Fry and Leela's ongoing "will they or won't they" romance is brilliant when you think about it: no one in the history of fiction has had to brave the trials and tribulations Fry has gone through to try and win over his love - from waging war on the parasite colonies of his own body to painting the cosmos with a love message - he's done it all. And he's never won her heart. The bittersweet romance is surprisingly touching and endearing.

FUTURAMA deserved better than it got: bumped around and ignored by the network, constantly preempted by football games and slapped with the "Worst Spin-Off EVER!" tag by obessive SIMPSONS fans. In reality, it was just like the best shows on television - like THE JOB, NEWSRADIO, ACTION - ignored by the majority, who would rather watch excrement like FRIENDS or whatever reality show going on.

Ignore the naysayers. This is a great show. You owe the SIMPSONS to check it out. Smart writing and sharp humor deserves an audience.

Social Intercourse (1998)

Painful...just painful.

[1/10 · 20 April 2002]

I love an indie movie as much as the next guy, and I do hunt for the hard to find shot on video productions that usually merit watching for they have so much care and effort put into them. These people didn't make a film to pocket a few million and get on the covers of magazines...they made a movie b/c they wanted to do it, and worked hard.

With that said...I must say...Dear Lord, this was awful. I mean, from the very first bits of dialogue, we knew we were in trouble. You know that sort of amateur acting when they just pour it on, delivering their lines with the "I don't want to embarass myself, I know this is just a movie and it's important for me to look cool" style that makes you wince with every line that is just tossed out and lands flat. And don't get me started on the dialogue - this movie continues the awful trend of Kevin Williamson/Kevin Smith style overwritten prose that just sounds like the writer wrote the script with a thesarus close by. There is not a single line that a human being would actually say in real life (well maybe in high school, only to be smacked upside the head right after). This is yet another "twentysomethings having a party in one location in which Deep Noble Truths are exchanged and the Nice Geek gets the girl." The sequences that are most wretched are dealing with a pair of lesbians. In two sequences that just stink up the screen with their appalling exploitation - woman kiss and it's held in tight, tight close up (the filmmakers at least resist going into slow motion). I mean, honestly - this is a film made to impress 14 year old boys.

My advice? Unless you're a horny fourteen year old boy - skip this one. Trust me.

Donnie Darko (2001)

A Wonderful, Dark Haiku of a Film

[10/10 · 30 March 2002]

"Donnie Darko" is that rare of things: a film that invites deep thoughts to ponder over its presented ideas. Jake Gyllenhall (mark my words, he is the next Edward Norton) is the critical center of the film and it is completely on his shoulders as to the tone and success of the film. He does not falter once, turning in a performance that is both comic and chilling. I cannot praise this film enough! In 1999 we had Fight Club, the breathtakingly brilliant and underpraised film that will gain its proper audience in years to come. Now, in 2001 we have Donnie Darko which if all is right and fair in this world, will gain the cult following it so rightly deserves. This is a film that you do not watch - you experience and let rattle around in your head for days afterward, asking yourself "Is that what that meant?", "Did this mean that?" It's a delight when a film actually toys with you and makes you think rather than deadening the emotions and assaulting you with vapid content (any Michael Bay movie). I loved Donnie Darko. And if you truly love films, you will too.

Dogma (1999)

God Awful

[1/10 · 22 July 2000]

Easily one of the worst films ever made. This is what happens when promising young filmmakers start believing their own hype and start churning out whorish pieces of cinematic excrement. Don't believe the hype over a film that is so overrated it's pathetic. The Catholic groups should have saved their strength by not protesting this film. Anyone who walks away from this film with any "insights" into Catholicism or religion in general is an idiot and not contributing to society in any real way. Films like this make you want to reconsider censorship - after all, with censorship we wouldn't be subjected to this piece of trash.