amok1980 Reviews

Darkness Falls (2003)

Waltz your Matilda right away from this stinker

[1/10 · 17 May 2003]

At a paltry 85 minutes director Jonathan Liebesman has kept Darkness Falls short enough that it shouldn't bring on any psychotic episodes or "night terrors," but it may still be long enough to result in symptoms of "fast forward finger" and "intense stare at VCR time counter."

The film stars Chaney Kley as Kyle Walsh, a young man trying to help out his childhood friend Caitlin, played by Emma Caulfield, as she tries to figure out why her younger brother Michael is experiencing night terrors. Young Michael is reliving the grisly tooth fairy hell that Kyle went through as a child.

For the sake of any misguided soul that actually wants to rent this film, I'll avoid from revealing any true spoilers, but rest assured that the story is thinner than the weakest slasher movie, so anyone who's watched a half dozen or so horror films should know exactly what is coming and when. There's the obligatory "killer goes to cop shop to kill all cops" scene, a glut of characters introduced only to be picked off, and the usual "killer kills everyone quickly but waits just long enough with main characters that they can be saved" action sequences. Yuck. Still, if laughing at bad movies is your thing this might be funnier than any comedy.

The idea of a tooth fairy that chases people around when they're out of the light sounds silly, but then so does the idea of dying after watching a brief silent arty film. But while The Ring was exceptional, Darkness Falls is just nonsense.

The DVD contains some extra features, such as a very silly backgrounder on the legend of the tooth fairy, film commentary from both the director and the writer (as if watching this thing once wasn't bad enough!), a making of (I watched about two minutes before turning it off in disbelief that the people who made this film seemed genuinely happy with it), and some deleted scenes. The deleted scenes left me asking why the director chose to take out some of the few moments characterization in the story. Since the whole film weighs in at under 90 minutes, I'm left to assume that the scenes were just too coherent for the movie, and Liebesman wanted this to be as horrid as possible.

If this review saves one person an hour and a half of his or her life it's well worth it.

1/10 (and I rarely ever give that low a rating)

Soft Shell Man (2001)

Yes, they are unlikable

[7/10 · 11 February 2002]

The comments about the characters being unlikable are right; these are not people I would want crashing at my place for the weekend. That being said, they sure do make for an interesting watch on the screen. While not as good as Maelstrom, Un crabe was still well worth the time spent watching it. 7/10

Motion (2001)

I would not sit through this again

[3/10 · 3 February 2002]

Motion has occasional powerful moments scattered through often boring scenes of a homeless man trying to survive on the streets of Brighton, England.

At times I was captivated, but frequently throughout the 70 minute film I found myself wondering when it would end. The scene that intrigued me most was of the woman in the alley. Is she dead? This is never answered or explored.

Tom Clay used a DV camera to film Motion, and some of the results are interesting. Hopefully next time he will use a better soundtrack than the terrible electronic song playing throughout most of the movie. It is not a treat for the ears.

I picked this as one of the five films at the Victoria Film Festival that I would take in, and I definitely regret choosing this over some other films such as the two new Danny Boyle films. There weren't many people in attendance, but some of those that did go walked out during the film. I would not sit through this again.

Divided We Fall (2000)

Surprisingly, realistic, interesting

[8/10 · 20 January 2002]

Well thoughtout drama of a Czech couple that hide a Jewish man in their pantry during the German occupation of WWII. Adding to the story is Horst, a German who worked under Josef, the main character in the story who is hiding David, the former boss of both Josef and Horst.

None of the characters are portrayed as overly likeable; all their thoughts and actions stray from good to bad, keeping the story incredibly realistic.

I never knew how this film would end, or even which characters would survive. Highly recommended: 8/10

The Night of the Hunter (1955)

Still powerful after nearly 50 years

[9/10 · 20 January 2002]

Powerful 1950s noir film about a preacher set on collecting the money that an executed convict hid with his children.

There are some classic moments and performances, especially from Mitchum, Winters, and Chapin. Mitchum's singing has been stuck in my head for the past three days now. Very memorable.

Director Charles Laughton keeps the suspense high, showing that high body counts and gore aren't necessary to make a truly scary film.

The last few minutes of the film are out of place (perhaps because of the Hayes Code?) but Night of the Hunter still stands up as a classic film nearly 50 years after its make. 9/10

Pas de deux (1968)

For a thirty-five-year-old animation it still holds up well

[7/10 · 18 January 2002]

Short National Film Board animation of two ballet dancers. Perhaps best suited for visuals at a club or as background entertainment at a party. It didn't particularly interest me, but for a thirty-five-year-old animation it still holds up well.

Die Nibelungen: Kriemhild's Revenge (1924)

Great battle scene but slow pace for the majority of the film

[7/10 · 18 January 2002]

Great battle finale and nice sets help keep this often-slow movie enjoyable. At times it had me checking my watch, although there were enough memorable moments to make the film stand out in my mind days after watching it. The ending should surprise even those familiar with the Nibelungen story line.

Churchill's Island (1941)

Masterful propaganda

[8/10 · 12 January 2002]

During WWII, German films to be used in Germany for propaganda reasons were often intercepted by the Allies and sent to Canada. The National Film Board, under John Grierson, would then use the German footage in Allied propaganda.

Churchill's Island, perhaps the most famous of the Western propaganda, extolls the virtues of the Allied cause while using Nazi footage to show the evils of fascism.

While this film seems very dated (and with good reason, it's 60 years old), it's still a fascinating look at the use of a relatively new media as a tool of social control. 8/10.

The Sweater (1980)

Entertaining, amusing, and accurate

[9/10 · 26 December 2001]

A boy who adores Maurice Richard of the Montreal Canadiens receives, much to his horror, a Toronto Maple Leafs sweater in the mail. I recently watched this in a class in which few of the students were interested in hockey, but nearly everyone knew about Maurice Richard and the Toronto/Montreal rivalry. Highly entertaining, amusing, and accurate.

Le steak (1992)

Seems longer than 76 minutes

[5/10 · 11 November 2001]

National Film Board documentary that revolves around Gaetan Hart, a boxer attempting a comeback seven years after two of his fights put his opponents in a coma - one of which never recovered.

The Steak is only interesting in bits, and having someone else speak Gaetan's comments (Gaetan speaks in French, and an English voice dubs over him) takes away from the film. Although there are decent stretches that held my interest, this documentary is probably more enjoyable if you're a boxing fan. It seems quite longer than its 76 minutes run time.

5/10

There's Nothing Out There (1991)

Exceptional B-horror movie

[8/10 · 11 November 2001]

Very entertaining movie about seven youngsters (20 somethings cast as high school students) who go on a camping trip to summer house owned by the parents of one of the seven. The main character, Mike, freaks out when he sees a smashed overturned car. He insists that this is the beginning of a weekend of horror. He's right.

The usual murder-the-teens plot unfolds, but TNOT keeps it surprisingly well done. The creature and its powers are farfetched, but they work in this film. Even if you don't like anything about this film, Mike's lines will make it worth your time. They're hilarious!

8/10

Crocodile Dundee (1986)

Still funny after all these years

[7/10 · 30 October 2001]

Everyone knows the story by now: a New York reporter travels to Australia to write a story about Mick "Crocodile" Dundee, a down under wild man who returns to New York with the reporter. Very 80s, but still very funny, even 15 years later (the armed kangaroo scene is hillarious no matter how many times I see it). Well paced and well done. 7 out of 10.

Night of the Scarecrow (1995)

Enjoyable to watch once

[4/10 · 27 October 2001]

Decent horror movie about a warlock who terrorizes a town through the body of a scarecrow. It's never boring and the acting and special effects are fairly polished, but the movie suffers from one too many stupid scenes near the end. It also takes a while to explain what exactly is going on, but overall it was enjoyable enough. 4 out of 10.

Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within (2001)

CGI is as good as everyone says

[6/10 · 14 October 2001]

The special effects are amazing enough to keep most entertained for this movie, even if the plot is unmoving. Final Fantasy is worth watching once, and I could see having this movie on in the background at a party just for the visual entertainment it provides, but I don't think that this is a movie that I would go to see again. In fact, aside from the CGI I will probably not think much about this movie at all.

It's definitely entertainment, just don't expect to be moved by the plot. 6/7 out of 10.

Children of the Corn (1984)

If the book were this bad the movie would have never been made

[3/10 · 13 October 2001]

I remembered watching this movie many years ago and being entertained. I must have been mistaken, because after viewing it again I know that I hadn't seen this movie. And I wish I could still say the same.

Basic plot outline: After killing off all of the adults, a town full of children manages to live unnoticed in a small town. (Apparently no one from outside of the town has noticed the adults have been dead for quite some time.) A young couple wanders into town after an accident on the highway and are terrorized by the town children. One pointless - and often silly - escapade after another eventually leads to a happy ending.

There isn't much redeeming about the movie. I can only imagine the book is superior because if the book were this bad the movie would have never been made. Two out of ten.

Wonder Boys (2000)

Some of the best dialogue of 2000

[8/10 · 28 September 2001]

Enjoyable and well paced film about a university prof (Douglas) who, along with his co-stars, goes through a series of odd and unpleasant events over the course of a few days. Some of the best dialogue of 2000 and never boring. Recommended.

The Boy from Hell (1988)

Boy from Hell? How about movie from Hell?

[1/10 · 21 September 2001]

One of the worst horror movies I've seen, this one hardly has any entertainment value whatsoever. To be avoided.

Plot summary: boy dropped off at troubled teen center (I don't think it was a school), bad things start happening to the mean kids, lame showdown with happy ending.

DEFCON-4 (1985)

Starts off well, then falls apart

[2/10 · 28 August 2001]

Def Con 4 starts off well, but then digresses into a boring plot line with forgettable characters. Fortunately, it's only 85 minutes long, although those last 45 minutes may seem like an eternity. Anyone else wonder what ever happened to those crazies living out in the woods?

The Rage: Carrie 2 (1999)

Any movie with "over sexed jocks" is bound to be bad

[2/10 · 6 August 2001]

Be warned by the line on the back of the box that promotes a story involving "over sexed jocks". There isn't a thing redeeming about Carrie 2. The plot is absurd, the acting terrible, and the ending all too predictable.

I wasn't expecting a masterpiece, but I was expecting to be entertained. I wasn't. The only way I could rationalize watching this movie was because I was at a relative's house while waiting for my car to be fixed. Unless in the same predicament stay well away from this film.

The Crazies (1973)

Definitely not the best Romero film, but solid nonetheless

[8/10 · 6 August 2001]

While not nearly as good as Romero's "Dead" films, The Crazies is still worth checking out. It's basically the same shoot 'em up style, only instead of zombies it's crazy townspeople infected by tainted water.

The story takes place from two sides: a group of five characters attempting to flee the town and the army officers sent to quarantine the town. Neither side is portrayed as the bad guy, although characters on each side exhibit negative qualities.

My only complaint is that there isn't any depth to any of the characters, but the movie still works even without this element.

Definitely not the best Romero film, but solid nonetheless.

Niagara, Niagara (1997)

Interesting if unspectacular movie about a young couple who flee their hometown to go to Canada

[6/10 · 28 June 2000]

Interesting if unspectacular movie about a young couple who flee their hometown to go to Canada to find a toy that the local store doesn't carry. The roadtrip gets crazy when Marcy, played by Robin Tunney, runs out of her prescription drugs. Some of what follows borders on the unbelievable, however, the evenly paced plot and decent acting make it easy to ignore the imperfections of Niagara, Niagara.

Shaft (2000)

Decent movie, but nothing special.

[5/10 · 24 June 2000]

Who better to play John Shaft than the one and only Samuel L. Jackson? Unfortunately, Shaft is no Jules Winnfield and this sure isn't anywhere nearly as interesting or well made as Pulp Fiction. While these two movies are completely different, I can't help but compare between the two. Unfortunately Shaft just isn't that good. The movie is cliched and full of stereotypes. The bad guys seem like they could be interesting, if they had more character and weren't so unbelievably cheesy and stereotypical. With the exception of Shaft, of course, the good guys aren't that much more entertaining. Still, Shaft has its good points. The plot doesn't slow, the action is somewhat more realistic than most action movies and Shaft always gets the better of characters so seedy and low that you can't help but hate them. I'd give Shaft a 6 out of 10; it's a decent movie but nothing special.

Alice in Acidland (1969)

There goes an hour of my life I'll never get back.

[1/10 · 27 November 1999]

Alice in Acidland is a waste of time. More than forty of the movie's sixty-seven minutes are spent building up to the point where Alice drops the LSD. These minutes can easily be spent with the vcr on fast-forward. There's little dialogue, but a lot of needless porn. It doesn't get much better once Alice drops the LSD and the film changes from black and white to color. About the only interesting thing about this film is noting the vocal lines that have been sampled by musicians.