Krip Reviews

Jawbreaker (1999)

I broke my jaw laughing!!

[10/10 · 7 July 1999]

Death is the ultimate make-over! As outrageous as that line sounds, it could almost have been nagged from this outrageous movie. This is the best teen comedy/thriller of 1999 and far out-shines the more recent teen movies "She's all that" or "10 things I hate". It has been compared to "Heathers" in a number of reviews but I'm sorry folks, as much as I love that movie there is NO comparison, in this case "Heathers" is the shadow and "Jawbreaker" is the sun!! Not only does it deliver some fine acting, especially from Rose McGowan as the ultimate bitch "Courtney" and Rebecca Gayheart as the angelic, sweet, easily lead "Julie" but the script is so hysterical and original it felt like I'd broken my jaw from laughing so much. If you have a sick sense of humour you'll devour this film. It's all that and then a bag of doritos! See it and laugh out loud! It's a hoot and a half!!

Don't Go in the Woods (1981)

Don't watch alone, it's funnier with friends!!

[8 May 1999]

This is one of the most unintentionally hysterical slasher movies of the early eighties. It tells the story of a freak mountain man who butchers visitors camping in a national woodland park and that's about it really. However what unfolds is a wonderful, camp, B-movie experience to the highest standards of grade Z film-making. The acting is hilarious and these people deliver their lines as if they really want to make it in Hollywood. It's just a pity that their ability is comparable to a blunt pencil. Leaving all that aside it's well worth watching for a nights entertainment, just witnessing one of the girls, after she finds her friends dead, scream a line like "No, no, no no.....NO!!! (Note the academy award nominated pause before the last no) in the most wooden way possible is worth the rental price alone and seeing characters with less than 5 minutes of developed screen time wander around the woods aimlessly in knee high socks and trendy tourist shorts, get hacked up with a machete should normally be a harrowing experience, however, it's really very funny and I didn't feel guilty afterwards for laughing so much. Also check out the chick in the caravan shacking up with the older guy, her genuine concern for his disappearance and grizzly murder comes down to her calling out his name, Dick, in true hillbilly drawl ..."Deeee-ick!!!, Deeee-ick?!, Deeee-ick!!"..Yes folks, this girl knows how to stretch her range of emotions to powerful limits!!!! One piece of warning though, don't watch this alone, it's far, far funnier with a group of friends who'll want to thank you endlessly for such a fun night of memorable entertainment!!

Vampires (1998)

Carpenter bites back!

[10/10 · 8 April 1999]

Not since "Halloween" or "The Fog" have I enjoyed a John Carpenter film as much as I enjoyed "Vampires". It contains all the "Carpenteresque" qualities we've come to expect from the Director. The tension, suspense, colourful characters and an excellent moody score all blend into a well rounded little chiller. From the incredibly gripping opening to the tension hammered finale, Carpenter knows how to pull you along at breakneck speed and hardly stops for a breather along the way. The movie contains some of the most haunting images of Carpenter's career including a creepily, inspired scene where the Vampires rise from their dusty graves, a vision that's sure to plaster a gleaming smile on any Zombie enthusiasts face, to the Demonic, Master Vampire, Valek thrashing through the air in wild, rabid pursuit of the Vampire slayers. Of course it wouldn't be a John Carpenter movie if it didn't contain his widescreen images and this films photogenic, New Mexico desert locations deliver some of the most beautifully shot scenes in a Carpenter movie. Two thumbs up to the Heavens for this instant Carpenter classic.

The House on Sorority Row (1982)

Hidden little gem!!

[10/10 · 1 March 1999]

"The house on Sorority row" or "House of Evil" as it was called in Europe is one of those slasher movies of the early eighties that seemed to have missed the boat and sunk with little or no recognition, which is a shame because it's one of those well made, well acted, once off little movies that deserves to have made it up there with many of its contemporaries like Halloween or Friday the 13th and in this case is far better produced than many of Friday's sequels. The story, set in and around a house on Sorority row centres on the "house mother" Mrs Slater who, for some strange reason, closes down the house every June 19th. This year however, due to insufficient funds, 7 of the house girls decide to throw their graduation party within the house grounds. Mrs Slater is furious and after catching one of the girls in bed with her boyfriend (The obligatory sex scene) she decides she's had enough and rips the girls water bed to shreds. Some of the girls plan a revenge prank that goes horribly wrong and Mrs Slater winds up shot. Panicked, they dump her body into the swimming pool to hide it till the graduation party is over but in the tradition of Lois Duncans novel "I know what you did last summer" someone knows their secret and is out for blood... The movie contains some genuine suspense scenes and the acting overall, is above average from the supporting cast to excellent from the lead heroine Kathryn MacNeill (Monkey Shines). Unlike other slashers of the early eighties this actually has a good storyline with plenty of plot twists and red herrings, reminiscent of the more recent slasher flicks in the "Scream" vein. You can actually notice movies like this one as well as "Final Exam" "The Prowler" "Prom Night" etc cropping up in Kevin Williamson's ("Scream" "I know what you did last summer") stack of work and you can see how these movies have influenced the structure of his screenplays. Well worth renting if you're a fan of the genre or even if you just want to see a good murder mystery with an extra dash of blood on the side for gory measure!!

Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation (1994)

A retro piece of fun!!

[10/10 · 5 January 1999]

Okay, so we've all come to various conclusions about this movie and saw it in a different light. To anyone out there who hates it..chill!! It's mindless horror, it's meant to be fun and it manages to be scary, hilarious and disturbing. The first hour or so is definitely the best and contains some genuinely frightening scenes as well as two classic chase sequences between Leatherface and the two heroines. Lisa Marie Newmeyer puts in a memorable role as the mindless Prom queen and has some of the funniest lines since "Clueless" and Renee Zellweger is great as the mousey Jenny who goes from classroom geek to feisty survivor and gives the cannibal clan a good run for their money. It's all very purposely retro, a film that would have been top notch in the 70's slasher era...when the characters sprout lines like.."My flashlight's dead" or "Hello? Is someone there", walk into old houses in the middle of the woods and split up to get help, you know that the director Kim Henkel wanted to capture the innocent horror of pre "Scream" times. It's a pity that he got lost somewhere after the first hour and added the senseless Rothman character...instead of staying classic and ending with a great chase scene he tried to make the story a little bit different. He should have stuck with the formula we've trusted for so long and one he'd delivered so far...still not a bad sequel...better than 2, much better!!!

Halloween H20: 20 Years Later (1998)

Treat!!

[9/10 · 2 January 1999]

Halloween:H20 was much, much more of a treat than its previous sequels and certainly didn't trick us on the marketing front. This movie delivers and the screams from the audience definitely confirmed it. The original Halloween it ain't but it comes close in some aspects, is far better than Scream 2 and delivered genuine chills without relying on the all too familiar Gen X, smart alec comments for its comic relief moments. LL Cool J delivered a natural sense of comedy to the movie and Jamie Lee?! Well what can I say!! She's reclaimed her crown and it still fits perfectly!!!

Leprechaun (1992)

Leapin' Leprechauns!!

[7/10 · 2 January 1999]

This film is hysterical and inoffensive horror at its best. Seeing that little leprechaun in his stereotypical uniform and Mother Hubbard boots leaping around the screen killing his victims has to be one of the funniest moments in horror/comedy. The acting is also above average and Jennifer Anniston is quite good as the Clueless California babe lost in hicksville!! Great sleep-over movie and an overall uplifting, well made little horror gem!

Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III (1990)

What's the problem?!?!

[8/10 · 2 January 1999]

Leatherface:Texas Chainsaw Massacre III has to be one of the best "slasher" movies to come out of the late 80's early 90's horror slide. It contains genuine moments of terror and some very disturbing scenes. Its previous sequel fell down in many aspects in that it tried to mix comedy and horror at all the wrong moments, however this sequel seems to get it all right. It returns the setting to the isolated house in the woods, Leatherface is completely maniacal in a circus freak kind of way as in the original movie and he looks as ferocious and scary as I've ever seen him. The acting all in all is quite good especially from our heroine Kate Hodge, and Ken Foree of "Dawn of the Dead" fame puts in a memorable performance as the innocent hunter down on his luck. It was great to see Viggo Mortensen perform in such a psychotic, sick way and compare it to his more recent Hollywood successes. Overall I don't see why people had such a problem with this movie. It's the best of the sequels and although that's not saying much, it's far better than Movies like "Hellraiser" or "Candyman" that we're produced during the post "slasher" phase. Granted the cinema version and VHS versions were hacked to bits by the producers themselves but watching this movie as it was intended on Laserdisc brings back some of the impact that people may have missed in the cinema. I give it 4/5

Sorority House Massacre (1986)

Massacred with laughter

[2/10 · 2 January 1999]

Sorority House Massacre just has to be the most hysterical slasher movie of the mid to late 80's even though it was never intended to be this way! I watched this with some friends and we cried our eyes out laughing. It failed to be scary on every level, in fact the only scary thing about this movie was the girls hairstyles and the conversations about their clothes, boys and food that was supposed to carry the film along. If a guy had made this movie he would have been shot by feminists for stereotyping teenage girls. As it stands, the woman who directed this and the producers who handed over the money for such tripe should be executed for squandering!! Still, I'd watch this movie again and again, it's as good as any horror spoof even though we're not supposed to snigger when one of the girls gets butchered and her stud boyfriend runs into the house naked except for some sneakers and cheesy white socks, sprouting, in a deep jock voice with twitching eyebrows "Some guy just killed Tracy"...Classic!!!!