Ah! My Goddess: Bad Goddess The Anime Video Comic (TV Series)

The Keys of Marinus Serial (2017)

Skolde Nornir: Skuld

Quotes 

• Titles : DOCTOR WHAT HAS LOST HIS VOICE

  Skuld : Ladies and Gentlemen... Doctor What has Lost His Voice. This is a backup episode written in case any of the parody voice actor depictions write in to complain about misuse of their persona. I hope and pray that it never comes down to us having to use it. We fade in on some obscure location. Suddenly Doctor What starts choking but has no voice.

  Belldandy : Doctor What? Are you okay? Doctor, what's happening?

  Skuld : Doctor What struggles to talk but no words are coming out of his mouth. Doctor What has lost his voice.

  Keiichi Morisato : He can't speak. What happened to him?

  Skuld : Doctor What grabs a piece of paper and a pen and starts scribbling on it. He hands the note to Keiichi.

  Keiichi Morisato : Oh no. Doctor What has lost his voice actor.

  Urd : Oh My God, does that mean voice actor is dead?

  Belldandy : No, not necessarily. It could mean that voice actor has bailed on us.

  Skuld : But why wasn't voice actor happy? Didn't we do everything in our power to do him justice?

• Keiichi Morisato : Was Doctor What not the best character in the series? He had the most passionate dialogue out of all of us. That's what made him so loveable.

  Urd : Kevin from the Other Dimension doesn't get permission to cast the people that he casts in this fan fiction. The parody depictions of celebrities and voice actors are along the line of South Park. Sooner or later, one of them was bound to be pissed about it.

  Belldandy : How much do you want to bet that voice actor didn't even take the time to read the stories. He probably just heard from a friend of a friend, and was pissed off to find there was no money to be made in it.

  Skuld : How could there be any money in it? Kevin from the Other Dimension doesn't have a monthly income, or a bank account. And he's already been sued before, his credit is completely destroyed. They may further ruin his life, but they certainly won't get paid for it.

  Keiichi Morisato : But what about the Public Access job at Zombie Life Television?

  Belldandy : That's sort of like an unpaid internship. Nobody currently gets paid to work on Zombie Life Television. Not even the bosses in charge of it. It's entirely volunteer work made with love for the sake of making tv shows.

  Keiichi Morisato : But how are we going to get Doctor What his voice back?

  Sean Gunn's Doctor What : I'll tell you how. This is Kevin from the Other Dimension hijacking Doctor What's dialogue. In the event of an emergency such as this, I'm to stand in as the temporary voice actor for Doctor What. I'm the only underdog actor I know that isn't going to bail on him. Until such times, as his voice actor can be replaced.

  Keiichi Morisato : Kevin, are you sure that's a good idea? Shouldn't you get a professional to do that?

  Sean Gunn's Doctor What : On second thought, you're right, we'll just get Sean Gunn to do it.

• Skuld : We've got bigger problems right now. According to Kevin from the Other Dimension's Season Three Outline, we're only one surprise episode away from the Five Part Keys of Marinus Serial. And Kevin has shown no proof that he can handle even the most modest of stories, much less an extensive Five Part Serial.

  Sean Gunn's Doctor What : Actually, it's a Seven Part Serial, and I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but we're not one episode away, it's starting right now.

  Keiichi Morisato : Wait, what?

  Urd : Kevin, don't do this. You're not ready for the Keys of Marinus storyline. Fujishima puts months of thought and preparation into those serials.

  Sean Gunn's Doctor What : Urd, I don't have a choice. The Cosplayer Goddesses have broken into my house and they have a gun pointed at my head as I'm writing this dialogue.

  Belldandy : This sounds like that experimental pilot episode from Season Two that you wrote out straight in 15 minutes.

  Sean Gunn's Doctor What : It's exactly like that story. If I stop touching the keys at any point during the following Seven Chapter Serial, they will pull the trigger and everyone in this universe will die.

  Urd : Kevin, you just stopped typing the keys for five seconds after typing that sentence.

  Sean Gunn's Doctor What : I'm very scared right now.

  Keiichi Morisato : Kevin, hang in there for as long as you can, we're going to try and get you some help.

• Skuld : Kevin... Kevin, no, how can you say that about us?

  Sean Gunn's Doctor What : And I stress again... if you want to help me and save yourselves, you have to find the First Doctor What. He's very important to the Third Act of the Final Story. The Fate of the Bad Goddess universe depends on you finding him.

  Urd : How are you going to juggle all of our characters in the following story?

  Sean Gunn's Doctor What : I'm going to simplify it to four characters. Doctor What, Urd, Natsumi, and Otaki. The rest of you can go home after the first chapter. Your services won't be needed until the final chapter when everything pulls back together.

  Belldandy : But we're usually the main characters of the story. Why are you omitting us from the final adventure?

  Sean Gunn's Doctor What : Because while I'm distracting the Cosplayer Goddess with this story, it'll buy you and Keiichi time to think of a way out of this.

  Keiichi Morisato : And with every key you type, every line you write, every sentence you make will bring you closer to the finish line.

  Belldandy : So Write like the Wind and Never Stop Thinking. Inspiration is only 99% Perspiration.

  Sean Gunn's Doctor What : And sometimes if you want to get things done, you have to write like you've got a gun pointed at your head.

  Belldandy : Are you ready?

  Urd : Get set.

  Skuld : GO!

• Skuld : Kevin from the Other Dimension stops typing, and wipes the sweat from his brow.

  Charlie Day's Kevin from the Other Dimension : Oh man, that was really tense.

  Lind : That's it? That's all you're going to write?

  Charlie Day's Kevin from the Other Dimension : Well, according to the rules of the Bad Goddess universe, the story doesn't have to be complete. It just has to give you an idea of what the story was and it has to have a third act.

  Lind : Kevin... Goddammit Kevin... you are the worst fucking writer the Oh My Goddess series has ever seen. I swear to God.

  Charlie Day's Kevin from the Other Dimension : On the contrary, I promised I wouldn't stop touching the keys until the end of the story and I didn't.

  Lind : Kevin, no, when we say that it means you have to actually sit down and write an actual story. It does not excuse you to weasel your way out of this. If Kosuke Fujishima was dead right now, he'd be rolling around in his grave.

  Charlie Day's Kevin from the Other Dimension : That's another plus. At least I didn't drag this story out one month at a time over the course of an entire year.

  Lind : All right, that does it!

  Skuld : Yeah, kick his ass, Lind!

• Sean Gunn's Doctor What : Well, then I'd say Kevin is doing a pretty good job right now. He's thirteen pages in and hasn't stopped hitting the keys. If he did stop hitting the keys, we would all be dead right now.

  Natsumi Tsujimoto : Yeah, but wait until our new dinner guest arrives.

  Loki : Hello, my little precious, I heard you all were having a little dinner party tonight, and I thought I'd drop by.

  Skuld : Loki, what the fuck are you doing here? How did you even get an invitation for this?

  Loki : I live to go to dinner parties. Some of my best stories are based on dinner parties.

  Skuld : You've been watching a lot of Comedy Central Roasts, haven't you? You've been practicing day and night for this. Admit it. You want to roast the Nekomi Gang so bad, you can taste it.

  Loki : Well, that's okay, little girl. You may not believe in Gravity, but Gravity believes in you!

• Loki : How do you do?

  Urd : Loki, what the fuck are you doing here?

  Loki : I live to go to Dinner Parties. Some of my best stories are about Dinner Parties.

  Urd : No, I mean, what the FUCK are you doing here? Are you a recurring character? Are you a villain? What? What?

  Skuld : Yeah, we don't get a lot of Male Gods on this show, much less as a main character. In fact, I think Doctor What is the only one to date.

  Sean Gunn's Doctor What : And it doesn't even really count because this isn't really the original Oh My Goddess series.

  Loki : I'm here to set things of. To get the story, as we say, in motion. You see, if this Universe is destroyed, then I'll be destroyed with it, and personally, I'd like to live just a little bit longer.

  Sean Gunn's Doctor What : Well, what do you suggest we do?

  Loki : I suggest you go on Natsumi's little adventure so that our darling little inventive writer, Kevin from the Other Dimension, has something to write about. Now with every sentence that he writes, he puts a distance between himself and the cosplayers. With every line of dialogue he gets closer and closer to the finish line. By engaging in this little story, no matter what the outcome, we are in face writing the story that will save Kevin's life, and our universe in the process.

  Natsumi Tsujimoto : Well, I can't argue with that logic... except for one little thing... In the Bad Goddess Deleted Story Ideas rough draft, Kevin stated that you were the villain behind the Assault on Yggdrasil with the Gremlin in an attempt to start off the war with the Individual Me's. And that you wanted to use the Doublet System to wipe them out?

• Loki : Well, no, those were just some sketch ideas that Kevin from the Other Dimension was tossing around.

  Urd : I would be more slightly concerned by the fact that when Kevin reaches the end of this chapter, he'll get hit by a case of writer's block, causing him to get his brains blown out, and our universe to sink into the black despair of nothingness.

  Sean Gunn's Doctor What : The Neverending Story at it's finest.

  Loki : Well then, I suggest we start stalling for time... is there anything you all would like to talk about?

  Skuld : Oh, Me! Me! I've got one! I've got one! Before Tom Hiddleston started playing you in the Avengers, what was your favorite depiction of Loki in fiction?

  Loki : I'm kind of partial to Dark Horse Comics The Mask. I assume you're aware of the Jim Carrey movie. But did you know that before Mark Verheiden cut that films balls off and turned it into a romantic comedy, it was supposed to be a slasher movie like A Nightmare on Elm Street meets Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

  Skuld : No, but I've heard the comic it's based on was kind of dark.

  Loki : Oh, extremely dark. Stanley Ipkiss was basically a serial killer. He murdered his victims by methods he was in the Tex Avery cartoons. If the movie universe had been like the comic universe, when Jim Carrey was finished singing Cuban Pete, he would've pulled out a tommy gun and murdered the entire police force in the streets. And after he made it home that night, Cameron Diaz would have shot him in the back after he took the Mask off, and given the Mask to Lieutenant Kelloway for safe keeping. And then Lieutenant Kelloway would've become the crime fighter vigilante version of The Mask.

  Skuld : Dude! They should totally reboot that movie! That sounds way better than what I saw!

  Loki : Just as long as they don't let Chuck Russell and Mark Verheiden get their hands on it again.

• Sean Gunn's Doctor What : But we can't have two Doctor Whats running around at the same time.

  Otaki : Doctor, I think what this implies is that you're going to be killed off and the torch is going to be passed onto the fourth doctor, which is really the First Doctor. And furthmore, why isn't my usual partner, Tamiya, coming along with us?

  Urd : Because Five Characters is too much for a shitty writer like Kevin to Handle. Tamiya Would have nothing to do but stand around and be background scenery. Besides, you need someone to stay home and man the fort on your business, right?

  Loki : Okay, then it sounds like we have the beginning of one of Kevin's rough outlines. Is there any other business we need to attend to before we get this story started?

  Natsumi Tsujimoto : Yes, isn't Lokasenna about you roasting everyone at a dinner party?

  Loki : Bad Lesbian! Bad Bad Lesbian Policer Officer! You're a terrible drunk! And you're an irresponsible whore! You've got a terrible haircut! Mohawks went out in the 80s! And you! David Tennant wants his sexuality back!

  Sean Gunn's Doctor What : Oh... SNAP!

  Loki : Fuck you everybody! I'm out!

  Skuld : Okay, goodbye Loki! Thanks for the story inspiration! Doctor What! Time!

  Sean Gunn's Doctor What : Twenty Pages!

  Urd : That's perfect! We should make all of the chapters twenty pages long! It'll help our writer get to the finish line of the story faster.

  Sean Gunn's Doctor What : Well, we've got our setup outline for the Keys of Marinus. And our writer survived to the end of the first chapter. Let's take a break, pack our shit, and then we'll be on your way!

• Skuld : We see a montage of a world exploding with flying cars, high in the sky in a futuristic concrete jungle not unlike New York City. The TARDIS is parked on a street corner outside a phone booth. Natsumi, Urd, Otaki, and Doctor What are standing there while Natsumi is looking through a phone book.

  Natsumi Tsujimoto : She's got to be in the phonebook somewhere...

  Urd : Do you know what line of work she went into?

  Skuld : Doctor What's iphone rings. He answers hesitantly.

  Sean Gunn's Doctor What : [on phone]  Doctor What speaking... Hello?

  The Gremlin : [on phone]  Doctor What, it's good to hear from you again. This is the Gremlin speaking.

  Sean Gunn's Doctor What : [on phone]  Skuld, we don't have time for games right now.

  The Gremlin : [on phone]  This isn't Skuld. I'm the Gremlin's new replacement, and you'd better listen carefully. You're currently looking for one of Natsumi's old co-workers. A transgender police officer that goes by the name of Aoi Futaba.

  Sean Gunn's Doctor What : [on phone]  How did you get this information?

  The Gremlin : [on phone]  Aoi is currently running her own taxi cab service off the corner of Majestic and Gladeview. I would suggest you get there very soon, as it's very important to the game we're about to play.

• Skuld : So Aoi's Taxi Cab Service turns out to be just a regular small cab service depo.

  Aoi Futaba : [Yoriko Nikaido]  Hey, wait a minute? Why do I have to play Aoi Futaba?

  Skuld : Because the animation featured in the First Season of You're Under Arrest looks like cheap horseshit.

  Aoi Futaba : [Yoriko Nikaido]  Well, it's hard to argue with that logic.

  Skuld : And the Gremlin calls...

  The Gremlin : [on phone]  This is the Gremlin speaking. I would suggest you stay put for now. You're about to get a visit from some old friends of yours. If you look out your window, our friends should be arriving right about now. I want you to patch me through to the overhead immediately, or people will die.

  Natsumi Tsujimoto : Aoi! Something's going down! Have you heard from anyone called The Gremlin?

  Aoi Futaba : [Yoriko Nikaido]  Stop calling me that! Why does everybody in this series think I'm Aoi Futaba?

  Natsumi Tsujimoto : Cause you're the one voted most likely to be hiding a dick!

  Aoi Futaba : [Yoriko Nikaido]  Of course something is going down! You're a walking shit magnet, Natsumi!

• Skuld : Kevin from the Other Dimension wakes up to see an Angel waiting for him. He looks Groggy.

  Charlie Day's Kevin from the Other Dimension : Oh man... what happened?

  Lind : You attempted to write a serial all the way through in one shot with no preparation and a gun pointed at your head.

  Charlie Day's Kevin from the Other Dimension : Wouldn't be the first time. And...

  Lind : You hit a case of writer's block and they pulled the trigger.

  Charlie Day's Kevin from the Other Dimension : Oh no. The Gremlin finally got me.

  Lind : No, Kevin... there is no Gremlin. You pulled the trigger on yourself. Did you really think you could flip off God through this entire series and there would be no consequences? Everyone ends up in our hands eventually, and now it's time to meet your Fate.

  Charlie Day's Kevin from the Other Dimension : No, no, wait... this can't be right... this wasn't in the original story. The Gremlin is not one tangible person, but an identity passed down from one Individual Me to the next. Because the Individual Me movement is an idea, it's power can reach beyond the confines of the fan fiction into people's minds in the real universe.

  Lind : No, Kevin... the Gremlin was a figment of your imagination brought on by the anxiety that you might end up on the streets. You co-opted your Daughter's two favorite animated shows as figments of your imagination to help you deal with your failed life. There's a reason we all curse and sound like you. This twisted universe of yours exists within your own mind.

  Charlie Day's Kevin from the Other Dimension : No... it can't be true...

  Lind : It is true. You insulted everybody and egotistically thought you were better than a man who's been writing us for 30 years. You reap what you sow in this life, and you just got what you deserved. Your life is over Kevin... deal with it.

  Charlie Day's Kevin from the Other Dimension : No... you're right. It may very well be too late to save myself... but it's not too late for her. Please... help me finish the story...

  Lind : The Seventh Seal is a movie, Kevin. Playing Chess with Death does not buy time for the Jester Family to escape. There is no escape. It's not a matter of if... it's only a matter of when and where.

• Skuld : So Belldandy and Keiichi are coming home from a magical vacation in their flying car with Baby Ariana in the back car seat.

  Belldandy : I'm so happy, we're finally getting our happily ever after. I've been dreaming about this the whole series.

  Keiichi Morisato : Well, I'm happy if you're happy. And what about you little cutie? Are you happy Baby Ariana?

  Skuld : Baby Ariana giggles, then throws up and shits herself.

  Belldandy : Oh my god! Keiichi, pull over!

  Keiichi Morisato : What happened? Is Baby Ariana okay?

  Belldandy : Oh Keiichi, poor Baby Ariana just threw up and diahrea'd herself at the same time. We don't have any space clothes and we're all out of diapers.

  Keiichi Morisato : Again? Why does this always happen to us? Wait, there's a Walmart right over there. Can't we just buy some more?

  Belldandy : Keiichi, I didn't get paid this week because I took off from work to go on this vacation! We don't have any money in our account.

  Keiichi Morisato : Well, we could try begging...

  Belldandy : Oh god no, we're not going to stoop to that level.

  Keiichi Morisato : Well, what do you want to do about it? We can't just leave her sitting in that fucking carseat covered in her own shit and vomit!

  Belldandy : I'll sit in the back with Baby Ariana on my lap. And you'll hightail it home as quickly as possible.

  Keiichi Morisato : But that's illegal! Child Services would kill us!

  Belldandy : We don't have a choice! Poor Baby Ariana is probably going to ruin my dress, too, but we can always get another one when we get home.

  Keiichi Morisato : I can't believe I'm about to do this.

• Skuld : Belldandy's iphone rings...

  Urd : [on phone]  Hey sis, what's happening on your end?

  Keiichi Morisato : [on phone]  Belldandy! The cops are after us! What are we going to do?

  Belldandy : [on phone]  We're really busy right now, Urd! Can we call you back?

  Urd : Well, excuse me for living...

  Otaki : Doctor, how long before we get to the Planet of the Past?

  Stephen Geoffreys' Doctor What : Well, it's kind of tricky. You can't go to the Planet of the Past because it's in the past.

  Natsumi Tsujimoto : But this is a time machine. Can't you just travel to the past?

  Stephen Geoffreys' Doctor What : Yes and no. If we travel into the past in this timeline, then Planet Urd won't exist anymore, not in Akira Kurosawa's heyday anyways.

  Urd : But if we can't go to the Planet of the Past, then how are we going to drive the story along?

  Stephen Geoffreys' Doctor What : That's a good question. Still thinking about that... I'll get back to you.

  Otaki : I have another question. In all your years as the low life Doctor Who parody character, has it ever occurred to you that your ability to jump everyone into other people's movies means that you yourself could easily jump yourself into the Doctor Who universe? I mean, it would give you a sense of legitimacy.

  Stephen Geoffreys' Doctor What : I don't want to fight the Daleks. The Daleks don't exist in my universe. What makes you think the real Doctor wouldn't want to be in my place?

  Natsumi Tsujimoto : But that would actually make an interesting story... what if the second rate wannabee version of Doctor Who kidnapped David Tennant and jumped him into the real Doctor Who universe so that he could pretend to be the Doctor and help some other people?

  Stephen Geoffreys' Doctor What : That's not an interesting story... that's a Tim Allen movie called Galaxy Quest.

• Skuld : Kevin from the Other Dimension is eating in the Afterlife Cafeteria. The Angel sits down next to him.

  Lind : You know, there's something that's got me slightly curious. In the universe of your stories, you seem to consider your deleted unused scenes and story ideas as alternate universe stories that take place in the same dimension as the characters. As if the unused stories actualled happened and we just jumped timelines.

  Charlie Day's Kevin from the Other Dimension : That's exactly what I was aiming for. One man's trash is another man's treasure. Also, I'm kind of an unreliable storyteller. I live to bullshit the audience with one story, then backtrack it into an alternate deleted timeline. I'll even give sneak peeks into the future to trick them into thinking they've seen the ending, and then completely change the ending.

  Lind : That's funny. We haven't seen you do that yet.

  Charlie Day's Kevin from the Other Dimension : I'm doing it right now. That is the theme of today's story. Would you like an example?

  Lind : Humor me.

  Charlie Day's Kevin from the Other Dimension : Then sit your ass down and listen to old Uncle Remus spin you a tale about Brer Belldandy, Brer Keiichi, and Brer Urd in a story that has to be seen to be believed. It all weighs back to an unwritten scene in the opening conversations of The Bad Goddess That Fell to Earth.

• Skuld : Keiichi and Urd are enjoying morning breakfast and reading the paper.

  Urd : Mr Keiichi? How long has it been since you've spiced up your love life?

  Keiichi Morisato : Oh please, don't get started on that again. First you all complained that I never got laid. Now you all complain that I don't get laid enough.

  Urd : Well, do you?

  Keiichi Morisato : Yes. I get it every night.

  Urd : Are you satisfied?

  Keiichi Morisato : Yes.

  Urd : But if you want to take your relationship to the next level, you're going to have to learn to get Belldandy to engage in a little hate sex.

  Keiichi Morisato : Hate Sex? But there isn't an ounce of malice in Belldandy's body!

  Urd : You're right, that's asking for a little too much from her. But... if you could manage to fuck her in the middle of one of her Jealousy Storms, that would be the next best thing.

• Urd : [calls out]  Hey Skuld! Get in here!

  Skuld : [voice other room]  Not now, I'm busy playing Super Mario Bros.

  Urd : Kids these days. You know, when I was a kid, they didn't teach us the ABCs, they taught us the Fuck You Don'ts.

  Keiichi Morisato : What are the Fuck You Don'ts?

  Urd : You see that Skinny Blonde over there?

  Keiichi Morisato : Skinny Blonde?

  Urd : The Fuck You Don't! You need any lunch money to borrow today?

  Keiichi Morisato : Lunch money?

  Urd : The Fuck You Don't! What do I look like, am I made of money?

  Keiichi Morisato : What if I want to watch ESPN Racing?

  Urd : The Fuck You Don't! I'm not missing my programs!

• Skuld : Hey Sis, can I test my new Space Doubler in the living room?

  Keiichi Morisato : The Fuck You Don't.

  Skuld : What if I say I'm going to test it anyways?

  Urd : THE FUCK YOU DON'T!

  Skuld : I lied, it's running right now.

  Keiichi Morisato : Goddammit, those Space Doublers are a pain in the ass!

  Skuld : Also, I've been raising money for a family restaurant called Casa De La Skuld by pawning duplicated copies of Keiichi's wedding ring.

  Urd : Where did you get that idea?

  Skuld : From a David Bowie movie.

• Skuld : Belldandy is on one of her Jealousy storms.

  Otaki : Belldandy's on a rampage! How are we going to calm her down?

  Urd : Keiichi! It's all up to you now! Remember your training!

  Keiichi Morisato : No! I'm not ready for this!

  Urd : You are ready! Search within the deep caverns of your soul! Find the courage within yourself! Do it!

  Skuld : Keiichi starts walking towards Belldandy against the high gushes of wind.

  Otaki : Keiichi! Hang in there!

  Skuld : Keiichi takes his shirt off and throws it away, but keeps walking.

  Otaki : Keiichi! No! What are you doing?

  Megumi Morisato : Keiichi! There is a time and place for everything and this is not it!

  Urd : You go Keiichi Morisato. You be like Jason Statham.

  Skuld : Keiichi drops his pants and keeps walking.

  Megumi Morisato : Holy Shit! He's actually doing it! He's going for the gold!

  Otaki : Oh, this is, this is kind of bringing a tear to my eye. Our little buddy has finally manned up.

• Skuld : Keiichi approaches Belldandy, who suddenly becomes self conscious of her surroundings.

  Belldandy : Keiichi? WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

  Keiichi Morisato : You need a hard cock in that mouth to stop all that talking. It's time you got fucked good and proper!

  Megumi Morisato : Well, alls well that ends well. It's too bad about Skuld's restaurant.

  Skuld : Oh, it's okay, I'm insured.

  Megumi Morisato : Wait, can't you Goddesses just do a reversal on the building?

  Skuld : Yeah, but we'd rather get the insurance money.

  Megumi Morisato : What the hell for?

  Skuld : I'm going to finance my new research project. We're finally going to solve one of life's greatest mysteries.

  Megumi Morisato : And that is?

  Skuld : Does Banpei Dream of Electric Sheep?

• Skuld : An injured Charlie Day's Doctor What and Skuld enter the room... both stagger to the floor... They both seem to be suffering the same injuries. Lind, Urd, Natsumi, Otaki, and Marller walk in after them.

  Lind : You did it. You outsmarted the Gremlin.

  Charlie Day's Doctor What : Yeah, but at what cost?

  Urd : Has anybody noticed that they both seem to have the same injuries? I don't remember Skuld taking a hit.

  Mara Marller : That's strange. It's almost like they're Doublets.

  Lind : That's what I was trying to tell Skuld. We finally figured out who Doctor What is.

  Skuld : But that's impossible. Doctor What can't be my Doublet. Only Demons are Doublets to Goddesses.

  Lind : Skuld... Doctor What is a Former Demon who changed his license to become one of us, and he erased himself from the system using the alternate timelines. That's the reason we could never find him using Yggdrasil. He was buried deep in the Niddhog system the entire time.

  Skuld : But- but- it can't be...

  Charlie Day's Doctor What : Skuld, I'm not a demon. Not anymore. It's just a license, anybody can change from that lifestyle if they try hard enough.

  Mara Marller : You mean to tell me that this joker forsook the life of a demon, so he could run A CHILDREN'S EDUCATIONAL SHOW ON PUBLIC ACCESS? WHOA! THIS IS TOTALLY BLOWING MY MIND!

  Urd : My god, it all makes sense now... a Demon masquerading as an Angel masquerading as a Wannabee Time Lord on Public Access, who curses like a sailor, gets into fist fights, and shanks his enemies in the face with a screwdriver.

  Mara Marller : I never got it before, but now it all makes sense. YOU ARE A FUCKING GENIUS! A TRUE AUTEUR ON THE NATURE OF EVIL AND CORRUPTING INFLUENCES ON SMALL CHILDREN!

  Charlie Day's Doctor What : [rolls his eyes]  Oy vey, here we go again.

  Natsumi Tsujimoto : Is it too late for me to fuck this guy and become Empress of the North Pole?

  Mara Marller : Oh man, I'm considering it, too!

  Charlie Day's Doctor What : Come on, man. I've been running from that lifestyle for a reason. It's just not for me!

• Urd : There once was a happy ending. But when it comes to life, there is no ending except for the ending of life itself. For life must continue on, and no passion lasts forever. To meet each other halfway in their love. To fight the hardships that come from the conflict of two opposites that attract.

  The Gremlin : There once was no happy ending to this story. There once was a boy who thought his life had meaning. But all meaning comes to an end when I get through with them.

  Peorth : That voice... it can't be... I thought we killed him...

  Stephen Geoffreys' Doctor What : It's the Gremlin.

  The Gremlin : I like this little game you're playing. Allow me to join in. It seems Lind may have been right. Murderering Kevin from the Other Dimension did not kill his spirit within this universe's hearts. To truly kill God, one must send his soul to Hell. And the deepest cutting knife to one's soul is straight through the heart.

  Lind : Kevin, are you feeling okay?

  Charlie Day's Kevin from the Other Dimension : I - don't - feel - so - good.

  Lind : KEVIN?

  Stephen Geoffreys' Doctor What : Peorth, this game has come to an end. We need to find Officer Ken.

  The Gremlin : No, this game has been hijacked. And before you think of bailing out, do know that we have Skuld in our possession. And now we all know just how valuable this kid really is to you.

  Skuld : Doctor! The Individual Me's were waiting for us at home! They think I'm your Doublet!

  Stephen Geoffreys' Doctor What : Okay, now we might be fucked.

  The Gremlin : If you don't think I'm serious, contemplate that I won the last two rounds. You killed my predecessor, but you could not stop his idea of fear from taking hold in the survivors. You thought that I couldn't escape this world and get to your writer. But I found a way to kill him where none of you could reach him. Finish telling this story with me, and see where all love stories truly end up. In the Garbage! Sooner or later, all relationships self destruct, if not through their own accords, then death will eventually break them apart! Play my Game! And see where all love stories must end!

  Urd : Doctor What! Time!

  Stephen Geoffreys' Doctor What : Seventy Five Pages! It's your move, Gremlin! Where do you think this story will go?