Glee (TV Series)

Special Education (2010)

Mark Salling: Noah 'Puck' Puckerman

Quotes 

• Noah 'Puck' Puckerman : All I can say is I didn't steal that soda machine, and if I did, I wasn't alone.

  Will Schuester : Okay, I'm gonna pretend that I didn't hear that, because if I did, I'd be down to ten glee club members, which as you probably remember from the rule book is two less what we need to compete at sectionals.

  Noah 'Puck' Puckerman : I'm not big on reading rule books. Well, I'm not big on reading.

• Will Schuester : Kurt's gone, and he's never coming back. We need a twelfth member. Now, I always go to Rachel and Finn in these situations, but you might be the most well-known kid in this entire school.

  Noah 'Puck' Puckerman : There's a method to my madness.

  Will Schuester : I want you to use that madness to recruit a new member. Glee needs you to be its ambassador.

  Noah 'Puck' Puckerman : More like its am-bad-ass-ador.

• Noah 'Puck' Puckerman : All right, listen up.

  Azimio : You gonna light your farts on fire again? Because I'm a major fan.

  Noah 'Puck' Puckerman : I want to talk to you guys. About Bruce Springsteen.

  Dave Karofsky : Is this going somewhere?

  Noah 'Puck' Puckerman : Don't push me, Karofsky. You forced my boy Kurt out of here, and juvie or no, you're already my number one on my list to go all Death Star on.

• Noah 'Puck' Puckerman : Glee Club is cool.

  Dave Karofsky : Glee Club is most definitely not cool.

  Azimio : Clearly we need to reinstate the 10:00 a.m. slushie.

• Noah 'Puck' Puckerman : You okay?

  Rachel Berry : Why are you talking to me? Are you gonna steal something from me?

  Noah 'Puck' Puckerman : Look, after six hours in that Port-A-John, Ozzy himself would have turned to God. I prayed. I promised him that if he got me out of there, I'd start being nicer to people. Then I realized there was no way I could do that, so I changed it to just Jews.

  Rachel Berry : It's Finn.

  Noah 'Puck' Puckerman : Boyfriend troubles. I got that covered. Considering I'm usually the cause of them, I'd say I'm an expert. Walk with me.

  Rachel Berry : [he leads her down the hall arm in arm]  Have you been working out? Your arms seem bigger.

  Noah 'Puck' Puckerman : It's the steroids.

• Rachel Berry : Last week, when... when we were fighting, I was... I was so mad at you and I... I was... I was so hurt that I wanted to make you feel as bad as I felt.

  [flashback to her making out with Puck] 

  Rachel Berry : [Puck stops]  Is something wrong? Did I bite you again?

  Noah 'Puck' Puckerman : I did this to Finn once before. I... I can't do it again. I'm sorry. I have to go.

  [return to real time] 

  Rachel Berry : I'm so sorry, and... and it will never, ever happen again.

  Finn Hudson : I knew you were a lot of things, Rachel, and I loved you because and in spite of all of them, but... I never thought you were mean.

  Rachel Berry : I'm saying that I'm sorry. And doesn't what you did with Santana kind of cancel this out?

  Finn Hudson : We weren't together. I didn't cheat on you. How could you do this to me?

  Rachel Berry : It was a mistake. Well, maybe we should go to another counseling sessions with Ms. Pillsbury.

  Finn Hudson : Can't have couples counseling if you're not a couple.

  Rachel Berry : You're breaking up with me?

  Finn Hudson : What you did was really bad, Rachel. And you knew how sensitive I'd be about this after what happened with Quinn.

  Rachel Berry : You said you'd *never* break up with me.

  Finn Hudson : I never thought you'd make me feel like this.

• Rachel Berry : You told Kurt?

  Finn Hudson : I don't remember. Maybe.

  Mercedes Jones : About Finn and Santana? No, I think I told him.

  Rachel Berry : Who told you?

  Quinn Fabray : Me. I think Brittany told me. Or maybe it was Puck.

  Noah 'Puck' Puckerman : Yeah, it was me.

  Rachel Berry : Everybody knew about this but me?

  Tina Cohen-Chang : Pretty much.

  Santana Lopez : Nobody tells you anything because "A", you're a blabber mouth, and "B", we all just pretend to like you.

  Noah 'Puck' Puckerman : That's not true. I kind of like her.

  Finn Hudson : Look, Rachel, when all this happened, you were dating another guy, so you don't really have a right to be pissed at me about it, okay? And fine, I shouldn't have lied about it, but to be honest, that isn't what you care about. You care about the Santana of it all.

  Rachel Berry : Oh, who are you right now?

  Lauren Zizes : Best green room ever.