This movie combines a killer clown, a spooky doll & some good old black magic. Sounds interesting? Well it could've been. Sadly the acting here is terrible & it looks like it was filmed on a mobile phone from 2007. Apart from a few tongue in check moments later on this film takes itself far too seriously. I think the makers must have thought that they were making a SCARY movie but the only scary thing about this trash is that it got made & released in the first place. If it wasn't for a fair smattering of cheap gore I'd have awarded this 1/10. Very, very BAD!
9 Reviews
How??
jtfriday200012 August 2012
As of 8/12/2012, IMDb.com says this flick was made for $140,000. How is that possible? Somebody on IMDb.com must be pulling one helluva prank.
This movie was shot on a camcorder featuring the worst excuse for fake blood I've seen in a long time (red lipstick and ketchup). The acting was atrocious. No one could care about any of the characters. The pacing was terrible. The script was garbage. Everything about this movie was garbage.
Anyone who has heard about this flick probably saw it at their local Mart as a $5 movie pack and wants to know if it's worth it. It's only worth it if you're really bored and wanna waste your hard-earned cash. Others have bought it for the 80s horror flick Curtains.
It cost $140,000 to make this flick? Perhaps the director used $1000 to make this flick and decided to pocket $139,000.
This movie was shot on a camcorder featuring the worst excuse for fake blood I've seen in a long time (red lipstick and ketchup). The acting was atrocious. No one could care about any of the characters. The pacing was terrible. The script was garbage. Everything about this movie was garbage.
Anyone who has heard about this flick probably saw it at their local Mart as a $5 movie pack and wants to know if it's worth it. It's only worth it if you're really bored and wanna waste your hard-earned cash. Others have bought it for the 80s horror flick Curtains.
It cost $140,000 to make this flick? Perhaps the director used $1000 to make this flick and decided to pocket $139,000.
WARNING: read this before watching this movie
sean-thedon-corcoran28 February 2012
I bought curtains an 80's slasher flick and 3 newer horror films came with. The others weren't bad. Compared to this garbage....they are like award winners. This movie displays some of the most horrible acting I have EVER seen in any movie. The terrible story is brought to you by what looks like lip syncing... Not sure.... Better yet, they explain things you could clearly see taking place. Like the cliché actor who reads the action cue before their line and then the line. Hope that makes sense. There are.some plot twists but the movie is so horrible you can't get off the fixation that an end is near....and the highlight of the film a decent topless shot. Whew, roll credits..... NOPE!!!! This trash drags out through all this nonsense...I have never been so offended as I feel after my DVD player was violated by this garbage. How is it on the same.DVD as curtains? Epic horrible moments...Val's bad-ass pose during the "battle" The further her hands are behind her, the more ass she kicks! Lmfao..... This movie stole 1.5 hours of my life, I did it for you, DONOT EVER WATCH THIS!
An Interesting Addition to the Clown Horror Subgenre
gavin694229 February 2008
Writer and director Ryan Badalamenti opens up the world of Bobby and Val for us. They're the typical couple in love, with two glaring exceptions: first, her love for her clown doll might exceed her love of Bobby. And second, their friends are in the habit of getting brutally murdered. Who is the killer, and what is the secret of the clown doll?
As someone who semi-professionally reviews low budget films, I always walk into the movie expecting to be visually tortured. For example, just a night earlier, I watched "Raptor Island", which ranks among the most horrible films ever made (yet is still somehow good enough to make it on TV). Let me ease your fears: "Secrets of the Clown" is not one of those low budget films -- it has a great plot, decent characters and a villain that can really kick some butt.
A specific concern I had with this film was the "clown horror subgenre" stigma. After "It" and "Killer Klowns From Outer Space", most people -- and I was in this group -- think we've said all we need to about clowns. Well, Badalamenti proved me wrong. "Secrets" is a welcome addition to the genre, and goes to new heights no one has dared take it before.
The movie isn't perfect by a long shot. Some scenes, most notably the introduction, seem to be poorly lit and it's hard to make out what's going on. Some of the acting is a bit stiff, particularly from Paul Pierro (Bobby). When Bobby is among his friends, Pierro's limits really shine through as he is outdone by every other actor on the screen. Some of their acting seemed forced, but it wasn't anything more tragic than the average Rolfe Kanefsky ("Hazing", "Nightmare Man") film, and I have a special love in my heart for Rolfe.
Those concerns aside, there's plenty to love about "Secrets of the Clown". The director and director of photography know the camera and know their targets. Plenty of angles are used and we're not treated to the same boring "point and shoot" method one all-too-often runs across. The score also deserves a mention -- the blend of incidental music and good, clean rock was apparent from the start and used in all the appropriate places. The last thing you want is an absence of sound or too much and the balance here is perfect.
Horror fans who crave blood will get blood. Oh yes, there will be blood! Not much in the gore department, and far too many of the killings happen off-camera... but I cannot stress enough about the blood. This film is an exploding aneurysm with gallons and gallons of glorious blood! Contrary to Paul Pierro's performance (where his best line is a "South Park" reference), we have actor Micheal Kott, who plays the psychic. Kott is phenomenal, with both his character and his acting nothing short of outstanding. While the film is good before Kott arrives, it becomes a whole new movie when he's on screen and something you can't take your eyes off. From his entrance to the final battle (but who fights who? you have to wait and see), Kott steals the show.
Not to give anything away, but this film has more than a few plot twists. I thought I knew five minutes in where the movie was going. I was wrong. Then I thought an hour in I understood, but I was wrong. But despite the twists, everything still makes perfect sense, which is more than I can say for some trendy writers who think a twist -- sensical or not -- is all a film needs. M. Night Shyamalan could learn a lesson from Ryan Badalamenti.
So, should you see "Secrets of the Clown"? I think anyone who enjoys lower budget or independent horror should have to say yes. Forget Hollywood blockbusters and expensive CGI -- this is what horror was meant to be. Oh, and for those who love skin... keep your eyes open for Playboy model Susie Christine. You won't be disappointed.
As someone who semi-professionally reviews low budget films, I always walk into the movie expecting to be visually tortured. For example, just a night earlier, I watched "Raptor Island", which ranks among the most horrible films ever made (yet is still somehow good enough to make it on TV). Let me ease your fears: "Secrets of the Clown" is not one of those low budget films -- it has a great plot, decent characters and a villain that can really kick some butt.
A specific concern I had with this film was the "clown horror subgenre" stigma. After "It" and "Killer Klowns From Outer Space", most people -- and I was in this group -- think we've said all we need to about clowns. Well, Badalamenti proved me wrong. "Secrets" is a welcome addition to the genre, and goes to new heights no one has dared take it before.
The movie isn't perfect by a long shot. Some scenes, most notably the introduction, seem to be poorly lit and it's hard to make out what's going on. Some of the acting is a bit stiff, particularly from Paul Pierro (Bobby). When Bobby is among his friends, Pierro's limits really shine through as he is outdone by every other actor on the screen. Some of their acting seemed forced, but it wasn't anything more tragic than the average Rolfe Kanefsky ("Hazing", "Nightmare Man") film, and I have a special love in my heart for Rolfe.
Those concerns aside, there's plenty to love about "Secrets of the Clown". The director and director of photography know the camera and know their targets. Plenty of angles are used and we're not treated to the same boring "point and shoot" method one all-too-often runs across. The score also deserves a mention -- the blend of incidental music and good, clean rock was apparent from the start and used in all the appropriate places. The last thing you want is an absence of sound or too much and the balance here is perfect.
Horror fans who crave blood will get blood. Oh yes, there will be blood! Not much in the gore department, and far too many of the killings happen off-camera... but I cannot stress enough about the blood. This film is an exploding aneurysm with gallons and gallons of glorious blood! Contrary to Paul Pierro's performance (where his best line is a "South Park" reference), we have actor Micheal Kott, who plays the psychic. Kott is phenomenal, with both his character and his acting nothing short of outstanding. While the film is good before Kott arrives, it becomes a whole new movie when he's on screen and something you can't take your eyes off. From his entrance to the final battle (but who fights who? you have to wait and see), Kott steals the show.
Not to give anything away, but this film has more than a few plot twists. I thought I knew five minutes in where the movie was going. I was wrong. Then I thought an hour in I understood, but I was wrong. But despite the twists, everything still makes perfect sense, which is more than I can say for some trendy writers who think a twist -- sensical or not -- is all a film needs. M. Night Shyamalan could learn a lesson from Ryan Badalamenti.
So, should you see "Secrets of the Clown"? I think anyone who enjoys lower budget or independent horror should have to say yes. Forget Hollywood blockbusters and expensive CGI -- this is what horror was meant to be. Oh, and for those who love skin... keep your eyes open for Playboy model Susie Christine. You won't be disappointed.
No comment
oprlvr339 May 2013
I only had to watch fifteen minutes of this "film" to realize how bad it truly is (outside the prior reviews). Many other low-budget films on direct video are far better than this mess. This "thing" is more a low-low budget behind-the-scenes movie wannabe than an actual release. The biggest thing that stood out to me in the opener was the gal's cleavage shots. As if this imagery is reason enough to finish the movie.. every Horror film has excellent cleavage moments.. that's what psycho serial killers aim for, and makes for a pretty up-tense film (I don't think so)
Don't waste your time (or $$)
This is a train-wreck at its finest; terrible directing, acting, cinematography, and general overall production.
Don't waste your time (or $$)
This is a train-wreck at its finest; terrible directing, acting, cinematography, and general overall production.
"You're Toast"
michaelvandamme326 March 2015
I've seen movies with similar budgets turn out to be quite successful despite the restraints put on them by their lack of funding. This film on the other hand takes that $140,000 budget and uses it to deliver a steaming pile of shart directly into your internal being; and once you see SotC you may never again be able to unsee it. I'm just going to jump to the point with this one, you'll absolutely love just how much you hate this movie. I mean it's quite astonishing the sensation you get from watching it. You'll enjoy the experience but also die a little inside in doing so. Simply put, there is no "liking" this movie. If someone were to say otherwise I would seriously question that person's sanity. The fact that it was even released out into the world still baffles me to this day. I made the unfortunate mistake of supporting this clown and to top off the icing on that cake of sadness, I've seen this movie not once, but THREE times. Believe me when I say I have no idea why, but I'll probably see it a 4th someday. You've probably made better movies with the very first cell phone you got in the early- mid 2000's which couldn't even take video. If you don't want to get mad to the point where you're seeing red, avoid this movie like the plague.
YOU'RE TOAST
nogodnomasters13 December 2018
Warning: Spoilers
The film had me guessing...guessing how the main characters were related to the director/writer/producer/editor. They actually had a casting for this film when picking people out at random would have worked better.
In the small town of Carol Steam, Illinois, a couple is murdered by a clown. After the credits Val (Kelli Clevenger) and Bobby (Paul Pierro) have a break up. For some reason Val leaves without her most prized possession, a clown doll. Soon friend Jim (Jay O'Connor)who was rough with said doll, is brutally murdered outside their home, with Bobby knocked out. For some reason there are no police in this movie who question the key witnesses or suspects. Things escalate and Bobby goes in and out of dreams and comas so you can pick which plot you like least.
This is one of those films where the writing and acting are so bad it is a major distraction.
Parental Guidance: F-bomb, no sex, nudity (Susie Grant, Michelle Brancato) Not worth watching for free.
In the small town of Carol Steam, Illinois, a couple is murdered by a clown. After the credits Val (Kelli Clevenger) and Bobby (Paul Pierro) have a break up. For some reason Val leaves without her most prized possession, a clown doll. Soon friend Jim (Jay O'Connor)who was rough with said doll, is brutally murdered outside their home, with Bobby knocked out. For some reason there are no police in this movie who question the key witnesses or suspects. Things escalate and Bobby goes in and out of dreams and comas so you can pick which plot you like least.
This is one of those films where the writing and acting are so bad it is a major distraction.
Parental Guidance: F-bomb, no sex, nudity (Susie Grant, Michelle Brancato) Not worth watching for free.
Not the best not the worst
AdamR70220 August 2011
If you are watching this movie, you probably picked it up for $5 at Wal- Mart like I did than your expectations are as low as the price tag and the budget...... anyways this movie is good for what it is, the directing as it could be better has a good vision that is executed. The cinematography and camera work is the best part of this film. The angles they use are very effective and the lens used creates the dark and gloomy "saw" effect.
The absolute worst part that keeps this movie from actually being something awesome is the acting, it is very forced and seems like they are not interested in the movie at all, honestly high school film students can portray characters better than this, but the acting as it is bad its also "good" because its funny. Along with the acting is the writing which its not bad but the delivery ruins it.
Here is my gripe about the film, the post production work is what kept this from being a "cool boobs,blood,bad guy" campy horror flick. The voices are off so many times sometimes they say different words than what is heard. The foley and SFX along with the ambient music is good but the actors voice overs are just as bad as their screen performances.
I think the story is the best part of this and if you want to get some friends to have some beers with and have some laughs see some boobs, blood, and bad guys kicking ass than watch this its a movie for $1.25 (it came with 3 others) and you get what you pay for.
The absolute worst part that keeps this movie from actually being something awesome is the acting, it is very forced and seems like they are not interested in the movie at all, honestly high school film students can portray characters better than this, but the acting as it is bad its also "good" because its funny. Along with the acting is the writing which its not bad but the delivery ruins it.
Here is my gripe about the film, the post production work is what kept this from being a "cool boobs,blood,bad guy" campy horror flick. The voices are off so many times sometimes they say different words than what is heard. The foley and SFX along with the ambient music is good but the actors voice overs are just as bad as their screen performances.
I think the story is the best part of this and if you want to get some friends to have some beers with and have some laughs see some boobs, blood, and bad guys kicking ass than watch this its a movie for $1.25 (it came with 3 others) and you get what you pay for.
Nifty little low-budget horror outing
Woodyanders20 October 2011
Warning: Spoilers
Bobbie (a solid and likable performance by Paul Pierro) is haunted by visions of the mutilated body of his friend Jim (a sturdy turn by Jay O'Connor) after Jim gets brutally murdered. Bobbie begins to question his sanity and calls on the services of a psychic (superbly played with lip-smacking relish by Michael Kott) to contact Jim. However, this only unearths some terrible secrets that will forever change the course of not only Bobbie's life, but also the lives of his friends. Writer/director Ryan Badalamenti relates the surprisingly tricky and engrossing story at a snappy pace, does a bang-up job of creating a substantial amount of tension and spooky atmosphere, neatly grounds the fantastic premise in a certain plausible everyday reality, delivers a handy helping of unflinchingly nasty graphic gore, ably explores the cool supernatural angle for maximum thrills and chills, and tops everything off with a decent sprinkling of tasty gratuitous female nudity. The sound acting from the capable cast rates as a real asset, with stand-out work from Kelli Clevenger as Bobbie's sweet and supportive girlfriend Val, Scott Allen Luke as the smart and well educated Ken, Dusty Mitchell as the smooth Mike, and Thomas Perez as lovable dolt Louie. Scott Whipple as a ferocious demonic clown makes for a genuinely creepy and formidable monster. Marcin Warzyczek's agile cinematography boasts lots of inspired camera angles and gives the picture an impressive dynamic look. Matt Novak's spirited shuddery score hits the spine-tingling spot. A worthwhile fright film.
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