South Park (TV Series)

Cartman's Mom Is a Dirty Slut (1998)

Mary Kay Bergman: Mrs. Crabtree, Liane Cartman, Sharon Marsh

Photos 

Quotes 

• Eric Cartman : Mom, can I ask you a question?

  Eric Cartman : Sure, hon.

  Eric Cartman : You know how my friend Stan has, like, a dad?

  Liane Cartman : Uh-huh

  Eric Cartman : And my friend Kyle has a dad, and my friend Kenny has a dad?

  Liane Cartman : Yes?

  [silence] 

  Liane Cartman : Well, what's your question, hon?

  Eric Cartman : GODDAMMIT, DO I HAVE A DAD?

  Liane Cartman : Oh!

  Eric Cartman : I wanna know where I came from.

  Liane Cartman : Oh. Hmm. Well, you see, Eric, sometimes when a man and a woman are attracted to each other, they want to be close to each other...

  Eric Cartman : Uh-huh...

  Liane Cartman : And sometimes the man puts his hoo-hoo dilly in the woman's cha-cha.

  [silence] 

  Eric Cartman : So WHO put his hoo-hoo dilly in your cha-cha?

• Mrs. Crabtree : [Eric did not show up for school again, and Stan, Kyle and Kenny are left waiting at the bus stop]  Come on! We're running late!

  Stan : We're not getting on, you fat ugly bitch!

  Mrs. Crabtree : What did you say?

  Stan : I said, "We're not getting on, you fat ugly bitch."

  Mrs. Crabtree : Oh, alright then...

  [Bus goes off without them] 

  Kyle Broflovski : Whoa dude...

  Stan : I always wondered if that would work.

• [Liane Cartman looks at a bunch of manly football players] 

  Liane Cartman : [orgasmic]  Oh, Chef! Oh, CHEF!

  Chef : Damn, woman, what's gotten into you?

  Liane Cartman : WHOOPEE!

• Liane Cartman : Chief, I want your hot man-chowder!

  Chief Runningwater : Well, HEL-LO!

• [Liane Cartman and Mr Garrison look at each other lovingly] 

  Chef : Awww, I'm out of here!

  Liane Cartman : Oh, come on Chef, haven't you heard of a manage-o-three?

  Chef : Sure, when I'm with two other WOMEN!