M*A*S*H (TV Series)
The Smell of Music (1978)
Alan Alda: Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce
Photos
Quotes
-
Father Francis Mulcahy : Ah, eating outside, I see. Very chic. Reminds me of the Via Veneto in Rome. I dined alfresco when we went there for an audience with the pope.
Captain B.J. Hunnicut : *The* pope?
Father Francis Mulcahy : Numero uno.
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : Pull up a crate and tell us about it, Father.
Father Francis Mulcahy : Uh, no, I'm expected inside.
Captain B.J. Hunnicut : Father. Is it because we smell bad?
Father Francis Mulcahy : Well, uh... I, uh... Oh, dear. Oh, dear, how should I put this. Yes, because of that.
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : Jesus ate with the lepers.
Father Francis Mulcahy : He was an exceptionally good sport.
-
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : That's it! The irresistible force is about to polish off the immovable object.
-
Col. Potter : [Charles is constantly playing his horn and, in an act of protest, Hawkeye and B.J. have stopped bathing] Major, will you shut your mouth piece?
Hawkeye : [Charles stops playing] Now why didn't we think of that?
Col. Potter : I thought I told you kids to change your diapers.
Hawkeye : Not 'til he stops tooting.
-
Major Margaret Houlihan : I'm going to the garbage dump for a breath of fresh air.
Hawkeye : Oh, you'll love it. The bluebottle flies are gorgeous this time of year.
-
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : [to Charles] Put down that horn. We have your head surrounded.
-
Major Margaret Houlihan : Captains Pierce and Hunnicut, take a shower, you dirty stinkers.
Captain B.J. Hunnicut : I take umbrage at that.
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : I used to take umbrage, but it gave me morning sickness.