Good Luck Chuck (2007)

Dan Fogler: Stu

Photos 

Quotes 

• Stu : [Charlie wants Stu to change his looks through plastic surgery]  Chuck, take a look around man. I mean, I can give you tits. You want tits?

• Charlie : What's sex without love?

  Stu : Sex! It's still sex!

• Stu : If you were a hamburger at McDonald's, I'd name you my McBeautiful Titty Sandwich with titties on top.

• Charlie : Stu, Cam. Cam, Stu

  Stu : It's actually *Doctor* Stu. I'm a reconstructive surgeon. If anyone has an accident or was born with a deformity, I'm there to help.

  Charlie : And by "deformity" he means small breasts.

  Stu : He's just jealous because he has to clean plaque all day long while I'm out making the world a better place.

• Charlie : [about having meaningless sex with many women]  It's not that satisfying.

  Stu : I'll tell you not satisfying. Last night I masturbated into a grapefruit. I put it into a microwave and heated it up a little bit, which helped, but... still.

• Charlie : It's that word, man. Love. I wanted to say it but I just couldn't. How could I say something if I don't feel it?

  Stu : Easy. Lie! What do you think all relationships are based on, man? Lies!

• Charlie : I have to set her free. Let nature take it's course. If you love something, set it free, right?

  Stu : I think Cam is really going to respond to the new gay you, Chuck.

• Charlie : I'm a doctor.

  Stu : He's a heart surgeon. You're a dentist. It's like saying General Patton and Colonel Mustard are both military men.

• Charlie : If she wants me to be more like a gentoo, I'm going to be more like a gentoo.

  Stu : You lost me.

  Charlie : Gentoo. It's a monogamous penguin.

  Stu : Who's ridiculed by the other penguins for being a *fag*.

• Stu : I'd suck a fart out her asshole and hold it like a bong hit.

• Stu : I jerk off to her mammograms.

• Stu : You remember Lara? Lara stepped out of heaven - and into my office to correct a "condition." She's got polymastia. Has more than two boobs. Isn't that perfect for me?

• Charlie : I've got to put the curse to the test. Where is she?

  Stu : She's beached over there next to the giant garbage bag full of doughnut holes. Eleanor Skepple. She's angry, rude, and she smells bad. In addition to back acne, she's got front acne and side acne. You see that glass of water there? She keeps her teeth in that glass.

  Charlie : So you're saying she's single.

  Stu : She's your best bet, man. You sink the soldier all you want. This chick ain't never getting married. If she was the last woman on the face of the earth, humanity would come to a screeching halt.

• Charlie : Stu, I've lost the most special person in my life. I have to break this spell.

  Stu : You haven't lost me, dude. I'm here for you always.

  Charlie : Just drive the fucking car!

• Stu : What is it that all women want? To get married, raise crib midgets.