Witchcraft X: Mistress of the Craft (1998 Video) User Reviews

the greatest and so bad

[paolosany · 3/10 · 30 June 2006]

Ed Wood is eclipsed and becomes Orson Welles. This film is fantastic. Vampire witches who fight in terribly choreographed scenes and dialog that could have breaking ribs with laughter. Plan 9 From OUterSpace dons't stand a chance against this. Described by the writer and psychic Stephen Armourae on the Vampire Forum as a masterpiece- he's from England and thoroughly sarcastic.

It has Stephanie Beaton and the producers know whats going to save them from bankcrupcy by repeatedly using her. Though she leaves me cold as she looks more like the undead than all the devil raisers. And Eileen Daly is just a lower rate Elvira. The whole thing is badly done.

Watch it for the script though

You get what you pay for

[MovieLuvaMatt · 1/10 · 29 August 2003]

I bought a set of 4 DVDs for 10 bucks at my local Suncoast, which contained this movie and three other trashy horror flicks (including its sequel "Witchcraft XI"). So basically I paid the rock bottom price of $2.50 for this movie, if you do the math. I can't exactly say I was ripped off. I have a thing for trashy horror movies, but this is the kind of trash that gives trash a bad name. The budget couldn't be over $1,000 (though it appears as if they spent a total of $1.50). I know it's a low-budget film, but that's no excuse for totally uninspired camerawork. The film "Blood Cult," though not very good, was made for an extremely low budget and still had fairly good camerawork and acting. The acting in this movie is the definition of "effortless," especially from that muscular guy with the Texas accent. Everyone is pretty much reading their lines off the page. You can take that figuratively or literally. I wouldn't be surprised if the script was off-camera as they were performing. I said before that I've never seen a bad English actor. This movie has quite a few bad ones. And though English movies aren't always good, they always seem to have at least a level of sophistication, which is why I don't see why any Englishman, or Englishwoman, would volunteer to do a home-video-style schlock flick like this. Did Merchant Ivory put a hold on their casting calls? Usually, I think people are too hard on directors and actors. Even some of the worst movies in Hollywood have some level of professionalism in the directing, acting and cinematography departments. Even when you watch a movie like "Glitter" you can't honestly say it looks like a third-grader shot those scenes (though a third-grader could've written the script). I've seen home movies that are shot better than "Witchcraft X," and that's no exaggeration whatsoever. Even the gore is minimal since the filmmakers only had money to buy some fake blood on sale at Party City. Not a single effort was put into making this movie--let's just sum it up like that. You get the picture. There's a good deal of nudity, though that doesn't save it. However, I must say that girl with the red-orange hair, who's either naked or wearing a cleavage-popping outfit throughout the film, is really hot!

My score: 1 (out of 10)

Witchcraft X Mistress of the Craft: New creators, old problems

[Platypuschow · 2/10 · 14 February 2018]

The diastrous Witchcraft franchise gets picked up by the Brits, but can they turn this embarassing series around? Hell no.

The english studio makes the same mistakes. Excess t&a, messy sfx, nonsensical plot and laughable acting.

Thankfully Willy warlock is left back in the US but we do have one of the regular agents cross the pond.

Warlocks, vampires, witches and stupidity. Yes folks this really is part ten!

The Good:

Nope

The Bad:

Poor sound balancing

Emily Booth really is a terrible actress

Dreadful cast

Things I Learnt From This Movie:

Stakes pierce hearts but not clothes

This franchise doesn't know when to die

Truly horrible but good for laughs

[StoneGriffin · 1 February 2003]

This ultra low budget continuation of the "Witchcraft" series deals pretty much with 'babe-ish' lesbian vampires and a silly super woman from another dimension/time who battles them in modern day London. One thing: don't blame the actors too much. The script was the most wretched amateurish thing ever put to paper.

Caution: Possible SPOILERS! ahead ....

Despite it's incredibly low budget and really bad production values there are items which are so bad, they are good!

(1) The police detective who is so fat, his tie only goes halfway down his chest. (2) The 1 second delay in Synchronization for the sound effects during the fight scenes. (3) the British "Police station" that looks suspiciously like someone's apartment building. (4) the supposed police (curiously lacking uniforms) who scream in terror when hot looking chicks approach them (the vampire attack comes seconds later, but still, what guy gets terrified by hot babes wanting to feel them up?). (5) the classic line "They won't do anything ... we got guns" when two stupid cops try to cuff the female vampires, who are then immediately killed by the female vampires. The list goes on and on.

If MST3K showed soft-core Vampire flicks, this would be a perfect showcase!

Astonishingly Bad

[IcePirat · 2/10 · 26 February 2002]

I still can't believe how bad this movie was. If I wasn't a massochist I don't know if I would have survived the viewing. It looks like it cost about $1000 to make, but it wasn't the money that brought them down. The acting was horrid - not just bad, 3rd graders could have read the lines better. Second, the only other reason to watch this kind of movie is the skin, and that is sorely lacking in this flick. We don't even get to see the more attractive chicas in the buff.

Ahh well, better luck next time eh?

Not very good, but Beaton deservedly gets a larger role, and Wendy Cooper: wow!

[FieCrier · 3/10 · 24 September 2005]

"Mistress of the Craft" Celeste works as an agent for the London branch of Interpol's Bureau 17, which specializes in (I think) occult criminals. She possesses the Eye of Destiny, good in her hands, dangerous if anyone else got it.

Bureau 17 has caught a Satanist from California, Hyde (no relation to Dr. Jekyll). Detective Lucy Lutz of LAPD flies to England to bring him back to the US. Lutz is the connection to the earlier Witchcraft movies, having been played by Stephanie Beaton before in Witchcraft 9. In part 7, Lutz was played by another woman; in 6, Lutz was a man!

Lutz's part in 9 was not terribly big, but she's one of the main stars in this one. Though she's left behind her high heels and short skirts, she still has revealing tops in this one. And this time around she has nude and sex scenes. Beaton is pretty appealing in the role.

As usual, there are a number of sex scenes. An anonymous clubgoer has a fatal threesome with two vampires, the Satanist and head vampire get it on with some kink, Lutz finds an English pal, and Celeste and her boyfriend make love.

The main recurring character of the Witchcraft series, Will Spanner, does not appear in this one, although Lutz mentions him to Bureau 17 agent Dixon in a conversation about vampires. She also phones her partner Detective Garner (parts 6, 7, and 9), though we don't hear his end of the conversation.

Hyde is sprung from jail by a group of vampires led by Raven, for a Walpurgis ritual having something to do with a god named Morsheba (I think). Hyde delivers all of his lines in a very flat manner, while Raven overacts to a campy degree. The fight scenes are terribly choreographed.

The audio in the movie was pretty poorly recorded, and poorly edited. Additionally, some dialogue gets lost under blaring music or sirens. Cinematography isn't great either. Having the movie set in and actually shot in the UK was a bit of a novelty though, at least for this series.

Wendy Cooper is very good as Celeste; attractive, certainly, but more importantly she's easily the best actor in the movie (bad fight scenes notwithstanding). I'm quite surprised her filmography is so small. If there's ever a Witchcraft XIV, and I would bet there will be, they should bring her back, even if it means flying her to California!

Witchcraft X is available on its own, or in the DVD collection Hotter Than Hell along with Witchcraft XI and two unrelated movies.

i saw it being made........my eyes will never be the same

[sakara · 1/10 · 11 March 2005]

Yeah i saw the rough cuts. The unedited sex scenes. The dire cut scenes. Almost on a par with the film 'The Need' for awful acting. This movie is as bad as bad films get.the bad script, bad acting, bad effects, bad locations, bad stunts bad everything. The best 'actors' in the film were the lap dancers they hired for the vampire extras!

Sean Harry, the 'foppish actor' as someone else put it, makes a matchstick look talented here. His amazing ability to badly drive a car, when it is obviously being shook by people on the bonnet (check out the reflection in the windscreen), his inability to turn left, which is class. OH and don't forget the sex scene. plus his noteworthy use of a toy gun which the props guys couldn't even be bothered to disguise as a real gun. The other actors on screen could barely deliver their lines.It was as if half the time they were waiting for a line that wasn't there!

The 'special effects' were soooo good to the point that the guys who did it took their real names off the credits!

If you want a laugh at a party then rent this movie...then again there are plenty of good comedies that are just as funny and don't give money to people who don't deserve it.

Batman and Robin:worst film ever. Now number two, due to this.

[towercat25 · 1/10 · 14 June 2004]

Generally I like horror movies, but unfortunately this fell out of the one pound bargain bin into my friends hand. We sat down to watch it, ready to be scared and ended up spraying food everywhere we were laughing so much. The concept isn't that bad, but why they decided number ten in the series would be lucky I don't know. The worst thing about the movie is the actors. The camera work was poor, the special effects are actually not bad if I am being generous, but overall the story failed to connect on any levels because the actors were as effective as a small lump of badly charred elm. They were wooden beyond measure, especially a foppish young actor who was fifteen years too young to be taken seriously as any kind of government agent. He looked more like a public school boy in fact. There was a really amusing sex scene where he looked like he was bobbing for apples as a busty lady rode on top of him and later his nappy sized underpants were hysterical, but then I remembered it wasn't supposed to be a comedy. I'm desperately wracking my brain to find something positive to say about this movie apart from the occasional flash of breasts, but there simply isn't. Let's hope ten was the lucky number and they don't do another one, I'm not sure my ribs could take it.

British addition to the series

[Leofwine_draca · 1/10 · 11 January 2018]

WITCHCRAFT X: MISTRESS OF THE CRAFT is another in the series with the twist that this is a British indie feature rather than American. Scream queen Stephanie Beaton plays the main cop role in the interests of continuity, but what's immediately apparent is just how appallingly bad this shot-on-video production is. Brit scream queens Eileen Daly and Emily Booth have small roles as overacting witches (complete with fake plastic fangs for some reason) while the mundane plot plods and muddles its way through the grimy streets of London. The wooden acting from the non-performers is criminally bad and the film is surprisingly tame despite hinting at nudity and bloodshed throughout. It's dated in the worst '90s way and criminally overbearing.

if only we knew !!!!!!

[andrewngjones-1 · 10/10 · 3 March 2005]

There is a truth in the world and that is that even if you help to shape and make a film sometimes what you have at the end bears little resemblance to the memories of those involved in making this film the greatest bad film iv'e ever had the pleasure/pain of taking part in!

some people say we had a budget of about £1,000 thats so not true!!! it was £10,000!!!

Yeah there were script problems but some of the best and worst ever made were re-written on the spur of the moment too!

we toiled,Sweated and laughed our way through the production of Witchcraft X-MotC. with the gusto of a crew who just wanted to do it!

Why oh why oh why oh why????? many have asked and i only have one answer....

because we could!!!! never mind the end result, its just a movie!!!

I LOVE this series!

[radiox-97263 · 7/10 · 19 February 2024]

Wow, where to start! If you love overly dramatic slutty bisexual VAMPires dressed in hot pants and kitschy lingerie then you will love this. These vampire are so animated just a simple meal of some idiot that doesn't understand the word RUN, then this is the movie for you. The writing is so bad it's hard to believe it's real. The good guys and tastefully dressed sexy interpol agents and local police really got a handle on the situation. I could go on for days on this movie. The hand gestures of these vampire girls when they have their prey is worthy of rewind. This might be one of the most convoluted horror films in history. Should you watch this? Only if you want to "waste" your life away. But you will do it laughing. Have fun!

ah! another Witchcraft movie with Stephanie Beaton!

[bfan83 · 8 December 2003]

Well what can I say about this movie! Let's see! STEPHANIE BEATON!!!!! My god!!! Never before has a cop looked so good!!! With her shirt tied and her breasts hanging out! Anyways, let's talk about the movie. Despite the fact the fight scenes are badly choreographed. Which, I thought was the funniest thing about the movie! And then there's Eileen Daly. God! This woman could make you urinate your pants at the sight of her acting! Oh! this has got to be the funniest line in the movie. I forgot the character's name so I'm just going to put guy, ok?

Guy: Maybe...if we had time...we could torture her...to death!

When I heard that line my friend and I bursted out laughing and couldn't stop! This is such a great schlock-fest! Watch and laugh yourself silly!!

Don't forget the staking! You can tell where they used dummies! OH MY GOD!!!!

Pipe down, haters.

[relashio-sempra · 9/10 · 29 January 2006]

We got Witchcraft X: Mistress of the Craft with a boxed package titled "Hotter Than Hell". It also contained Witchcraft XI: Sisters of the Blood. We have to insist that MOTC is far superior to SOTB, and this is why.

1) MOTC makes no bones about the fact that it's an excruciatingly bad B-movie. SOTB, however, takes itself too seriously and, because of that, fails. Just as other posters have stated, MOTC is watchable because it's so funny. SOTB doesn't have that luxury.

2) Another saving grace to MOTC is that the nude scenes are also far superior to those in SOTB. Lots of nice nipple play, and the actors in MOTC have no aversion in letting their hands wander. The actors in SOTB were unbelievably staid in their nude scenes. Yawn. We propose that the superiority of the MOTC cast could be because they're European. And the sex scene between Raven and the abominable Kerry Knowlton (as Hyde) was quite good.

3) Eileen Daly as Raven was not as bad as everyone claims. It's a bad movie and she was cranking up the camp. Ain't no shame, and it was funny. It's what happens when older fans of The Cure decide to act in movies.

4) The fight scenes (as others have mentioned) were exceptional in their poor quality. Our favorites— a. when Hyde slaps the junkies in the inexplicably abandoned beautiful British manor in the countryside; b. when the blonde vampire coyly climbs up a ladder and then abruptly extends her leg to kick Celeste in the face; c. an unnamed vampire tries to harm Celeste by gently nudging flipping her elbow against her breast; and d. when Celeste cuts "Jennifer Garner"'s head off.

5) Quit harping on Sean Harry. Yes, he was bad, but he was in equal company.

6) While "Scream Queen" Stephanie Beaton only got to shout once, it was well executed.

7) Emily Bouffante also must worship The Cure. She was phenomenal with the ham.

The "Erotic" Sean-Porn Movie Of Legend

[tirinar · 1 September 2004]

Sean Harry gives a stellar performance in what is a truly wonderful pile of poo. Witness his constant right hand turns around London! Gasp in awe at the amazing Y-fronts! Fear him as he points that plastic pistol! See the spectacle of the stiletto staking! Snigger at those floating silicon mountains! Get some cheese to go with that ham!

Pausing the film so you can go laugh your ass off is only one of many ways to watch it. Watch it while drunk, stoned, shagging, with friends, with a goat, with duct-tape, with alcopops, while being a little teapot, while running a convention, while hitting on women, while being hit on by men, while getting a haircut, while wondering why you have this film in the first place.

Don't buy this movie, but do watch it for the sheer entertainment value. Higher 'Ick!' factor than any gory horror movie, more ham'n'cheese than a really big sandwich, Sean Harry delivers it all. And some decent conventions on top.

Love'n'hugs Sean, T&L :)

TRULY AMAZING

[HawkySquarks · 10/10 · 14 June 2004]

I Watched This Film At The Weekend With A Group Of Friends And I Haven't Laughed And Enjoyed A Film So Much In All My Life.

The Acting Is Just Brilliant (Especially Sean Harry aka Agent Chris Dixon). I Have Never Been So Blown Away With A Performance In My Life.

I Have Watched A Lot Of Films In My Life And This Is Up With The Best Of Them.

If You Get The Chance To Watch This Film Then You Must.

Marks Out Of 10. I Gave It A Big 10

I did not know they made 'em this bad...

[plaznihqyllnikaaf · 18 April 2002]

Once again, the worst actress alive, messes up an even messier flick. How is that possible? Without Eileen Daly, this would just have been bad, but her "acting" plus "story" plus a production team and director with the talent of a vacuum cleaner, makes this about the worst movie ever made, next to Oasis of the Zombies. I normally like low budget, or even no budget, but this is just a waste of time.

Oh, one plus: Some of the chicks have quite nice bodies. That's about it... AVOID!!!

Bisexual Vampires Meet the Satan Man

[Michael_Elliott · 22 October 2012]

Witchcraft X: Mistress of the Craft (1998)

* 1/2 (out of 4)

Detective Lutz (Stephanie Beaton; second straight film) goes to England after a bisexual vampire frees a Satan worshiper from California. Pretty soon dead bodies are coming up everywhere and it's up to everyone's favorite detective to stop it. Yes they're still going and yes they took a minor character from the previous entries and gave her her own film. WITCHCRAFT X is a bad movie, there's no doubt about it but I will give director-writer Elisar Cabrera credit for knowing this. It really does seem like he watched the previous few entries and realized he had nothing to lose so he decided to change things around a bit. The biggest change is that there are more horror elements going on here with the vampires. Not only do we get some neck biting but we also have the highest body count from any of the films in the series up to this point. Sure, the effects suck (no pun) but at least they're something different. The sex/nudity level hasn't really been cut down. At first I thought it had but the director quickly makes up for the lack of skin early on by giving us a three-way (not that kind) dealing with two sex scenes going on at once and another beauty taking a bath. The sex scene between the bisexual vampire and the Satan worshiper was fairly funny and especially the hot wax. The performances are pretty much what you'd expect from a film like this (meaning people are hired for their breast size) but I did find Beaton to be fun to watch (and look at). The biggest problem with the film is that it simply goes on way too long and whatever decent ideas are in the screenplay just get watered down by the extremely long running time. There's also way too much dialogue but this here has happened in all ten films to date.

...Just a quick word

[herbpassion · 17 September 2010]

The haters really should pipe down cuz Witchcraft X does indeed have some redeeming qualities. First let me say that I believe that I may be the ONLY true fan of this series (hate on me if you must) and not just for the skin I might say. Let's face it, producing the longest running horror/ erotic horror/ soft porn... whatever it's called... series of all time should render the makers of these films some earned notoriety. Regarding Witchcraft X; Admittedly when I first bought this film (yes, bought- not rented) I was shocked and appalled that it was seemingly shot-on-video, not on film. I thought to myself there's no way, but alas there it was, and I was watching it. Yes it is true, that this is by all accounts a horrible example of film-making and in ways makes other entries in the series look like Oscar contenders. I firmly believe, for example, that Witchcraft V, VI and yes, even VII were notably slick, cool and thoroughly entertaining (again, feel free to hate on me). IX ranks right up there too I might add, and those original VHS box covers are f*****g beautiful! That being said, 'Mistress of the Craft' begins with the absolute coolest and darkest opening credits sequence of all the films with some awesome music ta boot (I think the artist was Monkey, or Red Monkey... something like this). And, you've gotta give em' credit for construing an interesting (though silly) storyline... more interesting than perhaps I'm used to with this series. Yes the Vampire crap is just that, but what the f**k? Who doesn't like Vampires?? The scene in the stairwell of the night club won my heart, as did Raven and satanic dude's sex scene later on in the film. Can't remember satanic dude's name, but he uttered some hilariously amazing lines throughout! Stephanie Beaton rocked in every way too! Bottom line: although I myself do look upon these films with some seriousness, the best advice for anyone who says that they've had the 'mis-fortune' of sitting through one and then feels compelled to tear it apart, is this - DON'T TAKE IT SERIOUSLY, IDIOTS!!! You'll enjoy it a hell of a lot more and you won't have to listen to people like me defending it. Peace!