9/10
Pipe down, haters.
29 January 2006
Warning: Spoilers
We got Witchcraft X: Mistress of the Craft with a boxed package titled "Hotter Than Hell". It also contained Witchcraft XI: Sisters of the Blood. We have to insist that MOTC is far superior to SOTB, and this is why.

1) MOTC makes no bones about the fact that it's an excruciatingly bad B-movie. SOTB, however, takes itself too seriously and, because of that, fails. Just as other posters have stated, MOTC is watchable because it's so funny. SOTB doesn't have that luxury.

2) Another saving grace to MOTC is that the nude scenes are also far superior to those in SOTB. Lots of nice nipple play, and the actors in MOTC have no aversion in letting their hands wander. The actors in SOTB were unbelievably staid in their nude scenes. Yawn. We propose that the superiority of the MOTC cast could be because they're European. And the sex scene between Raven and the abominable Kerry Knowlton (as Hyde) was quite good.

3) Eileen Daly as Raven was not as bad as everyone claims. It's a bad movie and she was cranking up the camp. Ain't no shame, and it was funny. It's what happens when older fans of The Cure decide to act in movies.

4) The fight scenes (as others have mentioned) were exceptional in their poor quality. Our favorites— a. when Hyde slaps the junkies in the inexplicably abandoned beautiful British manor in the countryside; b. when the blonde vampire coyly climbs up a ladder and then abruptly extends her leg to kick Celeste in the face; c. an unnamed vampire tries to harm Celeste by gently nudging flipping her elbow against her breast; and d. when Celeste cuts "Jennifer Garner"'s head off.

5) Quit harping on Sean Harry. Yes, he was bad, but he was in equal company.

6) While "Scream Queen" Stephanie Beaton only got to shout once, it was well executed.

7) Emily Bouffante also must worship The Cure. She was phenomenal with the ham.
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