Tiger Heart (1996) User Reviews

So terrible, it's fantastic

[Mister_Anderson · 5/10 · 19 September 2005]

I got a kick reading some of the reviews on this site for this movie, namely the people complaining that this film gave them convulsions and so forth. On the contrary, this movie is so horrible that I was hypnotized. You could not pry my eyes from the TV set.

In any event, no need to describe the plot because it's too ridiculous to discuss. Let's just put it at this: a wanna-be karate kid dork fights gangsters working for a crooked real estate developer. Clichés and bad acting abound. Maybe my favorite was the character "Steve" who is another karate kid wannabe and has an inexplicable rivalry with the main character. (It would be more believable if Steve was actually cool. But nope, he's a dork too, so why no love?)

The "fight" scenes are anything but. It's the same one bad guy at a time procedure...kind of like a movie version of Streets of Rage for the Genesis.

Highlights: - Six-year-olds beating up musclemen gangsters. No really. - Jennifer Lyons and her two best friends (and I'm not talking about the girls the comic sidekick tries to hit on). - The random knife fight in the diner. - The comic sidekick's lame pick-up lines (so lame, I actually laughed). - The inexplicably evil real estate developer. - The stubborn uncle / convenience store owner who "ain't gonna let no one make him sell."

Why did I give it a 5? On one hand, it gets a 1 because sadly the director did not intend for this movie to be a joke. On the other hand, it gets a 10 for all the reasons listed above. So I picked the average.

You MUST see this movie. Preferably with a group of friends.

Ted's Dojo kids

[bkoganbing · 4/10 · 19 April 2016]

Teen karate star Ted Jan Roberts was hoping to catch some of that Karate Kid fire with his Magic Kid movies and this one Tiger Heart. It's a pleasant enough family film that has a most ridiculous ending.

Roberts is getting quite interested in Jennifer Lyons who helps out her closest living relative Rance Howard at his delicatessen. But developer Christopher Kriesa is buying up all the land around there and the businesses on them for a proposed mall. He's hired some thugs to do some old fashioned gangster intimidation.

But of course they reckon without Roberts and his Dojo who of course in the end help him. I do think however the young prepubescent kids at the Dojo taking on some hoods was really too much.

Still Tiger Heart is a good bit of family entertainment.

Be prepared to book yourself into a padded cell

[cosmic_quest · 1/10 · 13 September 2002]

This pathetic excuse of a film certainly has to be one of the worst I have ever seen. I just don't know where to begin with it. I spent the whole ninety minute praying the big-headed, annoying, arrogant Ninja Brat that is the main character would be killed. He was just so full of himself that there was nothing to like about him.

His geeky friend just let the Ninja Brat walk all over him and the girl was like Barbie Resurrected, complete with the plastic brain (she just sat there staring blankly when she could easily have escaped the bad guys). I did get a few laughs when Ninja Brat was shouting at the little kids in his karate class for not helping him and the fight scenes were so pathetic that if you didn't laugh, you'd just cringe in embarrassment for the cast.

I recommend this film be treated like a possible 'weapon of mass destruction', it will certainly rot your mind and leave you in a catatonic state of shock that such trash can actually be produced and be allowed to be aired on the screens of innocent people!

Do not watch this alone!

[torreydeluca · 1/10 · 20 July 2002]

I'm torn between giving this movie a ten, or to give it a zero. I first saw this movie in about 1997 on television with a friend of mine. It was so godawful and cheesy that our sides were hurting from laughing. As American who grew up then, it reminded us both of a lame mid-1980's flick. Cheesy soundtrack written for movie, story of dorky looking kid who fights off bad guys and wins the popular girl, has an even dorkier friend for a sidekick, blah blah blah.... We were amazed to see this movue was actually released in 1996! I recommended this film to everyone I knew. Now, I do have to warn you, I did see this movie again later on - on my own. Seeing this movie by yourself might actually kill you, or at least send you into convulsions. Please don't watch this by yourself. Have a friend come over, call someone on your 'phone, have an instant messenger email conversation going on, etc. At least have a pet in the room! It's too much to take by yourself. It was like going over Niagara Falls in a barrel. I just wanted it to end and be over with. This movie can only be mocked in the presence of another person who will also find humor on horrid cinema. It's really that bad!

So bad it is brilliant, and it made me cry laughing

[jackdavenport101 · 1/10 · 23 March 2013]

I want to say from the top, that this film is absolutely awful, from the moment you hear the theme tune right to the final fight, there is nothing redeemable about this film...which is why it is so funny. With the exception of South Park, this is the only film that has ever made me cry laughing.

Every performance seems to scream of bad acting, but sometimes I wonder if the producers were aware of the irony of their efforts. SOmetimes I think that they are playing for laughs.

How many mistakes are there in this film? I don't know, but here are my favourite moments.

1. The theme tune - draws his strength from within, power comes from discipline 2. The ridiculous karate school where apparently it is OK to have a full blown punch up (and not use any floor mats - no broken bones?) 3. Ted Jan Robetrs training and making his own sound effects with each punch and kick 4. You know how some fight scenes in films have the feel of the bad guys queuing up to get beaten by the lead guys? Well, in this film you actually get to watch them run around in the background to get hit moments later 5. The karate teacher snapping the neck of a vigilante 6. The token black guy - he means well, but actually does no fighting and his role has all the hallmarks of a token black guy 7. LOts, and LOTS of women in bikinis... 8. The big bad guy suggesting that they kill the female lead, by putting her in a boat "and make it look like a fishing accident" - I somehow doubt any personification of Jennifer Lyons on screen would be involved in fishing, especially when water isn't even seen in the film 9. The only genuinely funny line in the film - "Have you got a match?" "Yeah, my ass and your face" - still makes me chuckle today 10. The fact that most of the fights start because Eric Chase actually starts all the fights, in some cases when there is absolutely no need to 11. THe karate school has a lion as a symbol on the main building, but the actual pupils there have tigers as their symbol. 12. Ted Jan ROberts having a conversation with someone ona street outside a hairdressers - you can actually see the people inside turning to watch the conversation 13. The meaningless elements of the CHase family - none of their scenes are remotely relevant 14. Little kids aged about 9 or 10 beating up guys in the thirties 15. The bad gangster (played by RObert LeSardo - arguably the only decent acting in the whole film) encouraging his men to kill Eric Chase, when he himself has a gun 16. Little kids being made to feel guilty for not helping Eric CHase go challenge a group of gangsters in the city 17. People signing off their businesses with a single unread contract like some bad episode of the A-Team (including Jennifer Lyons character who, in addition to having no apparent legal entitlement to do so, signs away Rance Howards business, despite only being a teenager)

...and many many more. This really is the worst and best film I have ever seen in my life. Right up there with the 1980's version of She, and Nine Deaths of the Ninja.

Power comes from discipline!!

Possibly the worst Martial Arts movie ever filmed

[fmjbt · 19 November 2005]

Agreed "So bad it's good", it may tie with "Karate Cop" for bad Martial Arts movies.

Everyone who owns a business keeps a bill of sale that can be signed on the spot for their business and the property....Too funny.

The "Karate School" scenes were terrible.It looks like they hired Asian actors to play the instructors who did nothing to make the "Dojo" seem real in any way.

The most believable actor was anyone who did not speak.

Now do I have 10 lines so I can post this review of this crappy terrible movie ?

Dwight

You'll be praying for the hero to die in this one!

[HaemovoreRex · 1/10 · 1 July 2007]

Now this is one utterly rancid turd of a movie if ever I've seen one!

I've just got to say it outright; The teen hero in this flick is without doubt one of the most loathsome, irritating, cocky little pieces of excrement ever to (dis)grace the screen! For a classic example as to why, just check out the sequence where said idiot takes on some of the bad guys in a shop. Before administering a beat down to the gormless fools our man.....erm, sorry boy, utters what must surely rank as one of the most veritably cringe inducing smart ass speeches ever committed to celluloid. To paraphrase our dolt karate kid wannabe it goes something along the lines that there's two things he hates, flat sodas and guys with tattoos (the head thug has one down his neck) - well, suffice to say my anal nerve almost gave out upon hearing such a crap piece of dialogue!

Don't get me wrong, I'm a huge fan of bad movies but this flick was frankly too horrific to bear and please don't even get me started on the utterly jaw dropping, atrociously crappy title song - Goddamit - To call it tacky would be to compliment it unduly!

Trust me on this, of all the Karate Kid rip offs I've ever seen, this my friends is without doubt the most mesmerisingly pitiful, nausea inducing, weightiest pile of faecal matter of the lot. Simply put, watch this flick and you to will guaranteed, feel the overwhelming violent compulsion to tear the hero's head from his scrawny body with your bare hands!

absolute garbage!

[mullinsm · 2/10 · 18 August 2005]

This is one of the worst films of all time. Period. It makes "Cool as Ice" look like "The Godfather" in comparison. As others have pointed out, it is so bad that it is well worth watching, and for that reason I gave it a "2" instead of a "1". Also keeping it from being a complete waste of time are an appearance by the women destined to become the Coors Light Twins (of beer commercial fame). Jennifer Lyons is very easy on the eyes as well.

The main actor and his wingman, however, are NOT easy on the eyes. Nor ears. Every word from their mouths is like a projectile nail-bomb exploding in your face.

That goes for about every line in this movie. The script is filled with tired clichés and one-liners that fall completely flat. I laughed hard and often, but not for reasons people associated with the creation of this turd would have wanted.

The acting is awful. Completely awful. And the rest of the movie is worse.

IMDb says that this film was released in 1996...but I think it was filmed in the middle of the 80's. The clothes and haircuts are ridiculous and the sets are total cheese. I suspect this "film" sat on the shelves for a long time before it was unleashed for public consumption.

In short, watch this if you want to see film-making at its absolute worst. It's best with some friends, a lot of beer, and a great deal of patience.

Classic Ted Jan all the way.

[tarbosh22000 · 6/10 · 24 November 2014]

Eric Chase (Ted Jan) is a teenager who lives to practice Martial Arts at his local dojo. Even when his best buddy Brad (Williams) cajoles him into going to parties with bikini-clad babes, nothing can stop Eric from sparring with his local tots and his Sensei (Camacho - simply billed as "Sensei"). When Eric meets the beautiful Stephanie Simmons (Lyons) at the deli across from his beloved dojo, it seems first love may be in the air. Unfortunately, Nat (Kriesa) is your classic evil land developer, and he's sending out squads of punks and/or goons to scare people out of their homes and businesses so he can build one of those despised malls on their property. Led by Paulo (LaSardo), the goons eventually end up at Mr. Johnson's (Howard) deli - where Eric's paramour Stephanie happens to work. Defending her honor, Eric uses his long-practiced Martial Arts skills on the goons - but can this one kid fight off the coming real estate war? Find out today! Classic Ted Jan all the way. If you're familiar with his work, such as the entertaining A Dangerous Place (1995), here is more of the same. Which is a good thing, because both movies have a youth-oriented, fun, upbeat feel. The likable Roberts did a lot of work for PM, but this may be the standout. His buddy Brad is the wacky sidekick. To him, the Haim/Feldman vehicle License To Drive (1988) is more than a movie. It's a template to base your entire life upon. Even though Brad begs for his dad's car keys and promises to eat his vegetables if he can have them, actor Timothy Williams was 29 years old at the time of filming! Let's not forget this is a man/kid who wears a Hawaiian shirt with a Billy Joel "River of Dreams" T-shirt underneath - tucked in. Clearly this is a man who knows where he's going in life. Interestingly, Ted Jan co-starred with Feldman in A Dangerous Place. Coincidence? Once again, Roberts wears hugely oversized clothing, and his age is indeed in question. One minute his sister (McComas) says she has to babysit him, the next minute he's driving and saying he's going to college next year. But one thing is for certain: Eric can't go out and fight evil land-developer punks unless he finishes his summer reading. That's almost an exact quote from the movie. This indeed might be the first recorded instance of the term "summer reading" on film. What a first. But the movie is totally 90's through and through, from the clothing to the dialogue. Robert LaSardo gets a lot of nice screen time here. Normally he's relegated to the background, but he's the main "street baddie". His fellow punks walk around with boomboxes on their shoulders, so you know they're evil, not to mention disruptive. The "save our community" plot was also done in fellow PM movie Private Wars, and some scenes feel very familiar.

The title song is a lot of fun too, and it even features the lyrics "power comes from discipline!" - you don't hear that, lyrically, every day. Thank you John Gonzales and Derol Caraco for that. It's hard to believe that this fast-paced romp was directed by the same guy who directed the abysmal Musketeers Forever (1998). This is so much better than that. The PM style is out in force, so it's almost like, abstractly, PM itself directed the movie. Also, it should be noted that there is an uncredited cameo from Matthias Hues to watch out for.

Tiger Heart is an enjoyable "entry-level" action movie best suited for people who don't take themselves so seriously.

Funny piece of crap

[pmaczoni · 1/10 · 7 August 2006]

I recorded this movie on TiVo for my son, who finds Ted Jan Roberts movies to be hysterically funny because they are so bad. This movie beats all of his others for being really bad. The fight scenes are best played in slow motion to see just how horrible the choreography actually is. The lines are funny in a gut wrenchingly horrible way and at times I felt so embarrassed watching that I found myself often covering my eyes. You just can't help thinking how could someone actually write this screenplay. I don't know how the actors(if you can call them that) were actually able to even speak the lines in this crappy movie and keep any semblance of a straight face. Watch it if you want a laugh. My son won't allow me to erase it.

I gave this movie a "10"!

[jto2112 · 10/10 · 12 February 2001]

Why you ask? Because it is without a doubt the worst movie you will ever see. I mean it is really bad. So bad that it is compelling to watch. The most classic scene is when the kid and his martial arts teacher are fighting off all the thugs in the alley. I recommend this movie for all of you out there. To truly enjoy movies, you must see how bad they can actually be

Good entertainment

[wolfhell88 · 7/10 · 23 January 2008]

First: If you are a fan of karate movies or a fan of Hollywood Blockbusters this is not the right movie for you.

But if you love B-movies, this is the right one for you. The whole movie has its own charm, it is funny and entertaining. Ted Jan Roberts seems to be a really nice guy. The flirt scenes between him and the beautiful Jennifer Lyons reminds me of my own youth. Those scenes alone would be worth to watch "Tiger Heart" but then they are those funny fight scenes when a group of young karate kids fights against the gangsters. This scene is so unbelievable, I just love it.

The bad guys here are really bad, just watch Robert LaSardos performance. Carol Potter from "Beverly Hills 90210" appears as - mother! Lorissa McCormas, well-known from adult movies like "Lap Dance" plays the sister of T.J. Roberts.

It was produced by the PM Entertainment Group. They are well-known for straight B-Actioners. If you love B-movies don't miss this one!

the most underrated bad movie ever!!!

[rdelar2 · 1/10 · 3 January 2006]

I don't think I have ever laughed so hard in my life, and I am an avid Family Guy/Simpsons fan.

This movie deserves to be way at the top of the bottom 100. I have got to get this on VHS (doesnt come on DVD even) The martial arts scenes are horribly choreographed, the acting is superbly horrible, the dialogue is fantastically disgraceful. The lead character is a scrawny annoying dork and the sidekick is even worse!But, there is some eye candy! You must go see this!!! Please vote this as a 1.0 and not a 10.00. I know you are trying to be satirical but, please this must be viewed by all as this is one of the best worst movies EVER!

-"Thanks Soccer Mummy. You made me believe in myself again!"

oh please stay away!

[bob the moo · 1 May 2001]

Oh no. I sat down to watch this as part of a martial arts weekend on UK tv expecting a high-kicking swift fight-fest, after all it was on at 11oClock at night! I was so horrified when I watched it - but like a car wreck I couldn't stop looking. There is nothing good about this - please avoid it like the plague.

Even if someone tells you it's so bad it's good - don't believe them - run for the hills and don't stop till you're sure it can't find you.

MST3K Potential

[GlennBeckFan · 1/10 · 18 August 2005]

"Tiger Heart" is simply one of the worst films of the 90s. Inept actors, bad fight scenes, and a soundtrack from 1985, all adds up to an amazingly bad production. It is fast paced, never dull, but never anything above sub par. I wish MST3K was still around, the bots would love this movie.

The writer should be jailed for stealing clichés from all other weak genre flicks. The director should apologize for not giving Jennifer Lyons more screen time because her presence is one of the only things that makes this tripe watchable. If you ever catch this movie get a couple of sarcastic friends and enjoy the shipwrecked script and classically doltish plot.

Incredibly painful to watch

[Cinemaniac1984 · 1/10 · 7 January 2015]

This movie was incredibly painful to watch. If you wanted to torture somebody with a movie, this is the movie to use.

Everything about it is bad. Ted Jan Roberts is hardly believable as the lead actor and his character is an annoying and irritating little brat. Jennifer Lyons looks way older than Ted Jan Roberts and she is out of place in this movie. Unfortunately her character was useless with very little intelligence. The main villain played by Robert LaSardo should have wiped the hero all over the floor a million times over but no, if that were the case then that would defeat the purpose of the movie. All the fight scenes were pathetically choreographed, the acting was disgraceful, and every bit of dialogue in the movie was horrible. The screenplay resembled something a 10 year old would write. Even the ending was atrocious.

Should this movie NEVER see daylight again, then it will mercifully spare many viewers the pain of watching this disgrace of a movie.

1/10.

Worst Movie Ever

[smartytart2002 · 1/10 · 18 February 2018]

I remember when I watched it an extremely long time & I thought it was the worst movie because of the bad acting & the dialogue really sucks

T.J Roberts

[jjamesedw3 · 2/10 · 24 August 2005]

Okay,I have seen the movie. And you know what problem I see, T.J Roberts! He is the most horrible, most pitiful actor I have ever seen! And for those who dislike karate kid ripoffs, do not watch this film. And if you thought Kickboxing Academy was horrible, heres a warning. YOU HAVEN'T SEEN ANYTHING YET! And if you go to any websites where you can buy or rent movies, do not check this out. Don't rent the movie, don't buy the movie. Just go on and look for other good movies like The Power Within or Superfights. But do not get this movie because if you do, you are going to experience cinema badder that anything you have ever seen before! So whatever you do, DO NOT WATCH THIS FILM!

Probably the worst crap movie ever made

[ivo-cobra8 · 1/10 · 13 August 2007]

A true insult to martial arts and film.This is the worst movie ever made.First Ted Jan Roberts is good actor,but in this role he's the worst,it's so post to be an action movie not some love drama.Ted Jan Roberts plays a Eric who get in love with a girl and than he play's a hero,when bad guys come he beat's everybody up,but he's never hit,ten or fifteen guys attack him and he beat's them up,but he's never hit,how's that,i'did not like this love drama,and than some blond bimbo get a guy like Ted Jan Roberts,this is bullshit,i'see beater movies like this,all fighting scene are fix'up and only girls and teenagers are here.This is not martial art movie it's bullshit.And the bad guys never strike back,he's never hit or blood,probably the worst Steven Seagal clone movie ever,Than the martial art's hero get always a girl,i'hate that why the heroes must get a girl,even Don Wilson's movies are the worst,he always get a girl,he must have always sex in action movies,what the hell they were thinking.This is probably all PM Entertainment Group Inc fault ,they are doing the worst movies ever.Even The Perfect Weapon is beater than this,even Rocky 3 was beater,when Rocky say it was all fix up,even all Jackie Chans movies are beater than this,he never get's a girl and it's beater than this crap movie.His movies are filming in China.But this is a joke, i'you kidding me.Next time when they are doing movies like this,they warned us to stay away.Next time when they are doing movie like this they first say that it is a dram not an action movie,this movie is a fake.I wonder can Ted Jan Roberts really fight,or is doing his stuntman his fighting scene.This is a joke,come on,were are the other martial arts.I got just say one thing,stay away from this movie,it's a fake and copy.

kick butt!!!

[kento-com · 8/10 · 25 August 2006]

this ranks right up there with sidekicks. although that comment insults chuck norris.

the theme song is the absolute best part of the movie. guaranteed to get stuck in your head.

i have actually watched this repeatedly as i had to show friends that absolutely anyone can make a movie about absolutely anything.

action packed!! romance!! edge of your seat!!! rivalries! friendships! friendships from rivalries!! this movie has it all!!!! although having it all doesn't seem to be enough to fill this review.

a horribly acted teenager macks on the neighbor store girl and gets her, then hoodlums scaring business owners out of there stores start a tussle with him and eventually he and his rival from the dojo and many other untrained unathletic karate kids beat up the hoodlums and keep their properties safe from the evil developer who sports "miami vice" style suits all movie. so if that doesn't convince you to watch it then nothing will. i'm excited just writing about it. i'm off to watch it yet again!!!

cant lose with this one. tiger heart will always win!!!!

Seems like an 80's movie

[Adam-79 · 16 December 2002]

SPOILERS I was fortunate enough to see this movie on WVTV-18 in Milwaukee, WI at 3AM on a Sunday. You can expect crappy kung-fu action, a busty leading lady, a comic sidekick that gets thrown in a pool, and twin ladies in miniskirts constantly cracking twin jokes.

Taken at first glance, this is a horrible movie. However, if you enjoy it for what it is (and what it was made to be), you'll probably get more enjoyment out of it.

The BEST-WORST movie of ALL TIME!!!

[hortha71 · 8/10 · 15 August 2005]

OK... first off, this really IS one of the worst movies EVER made! but having said that... it's SO bad, it's hypnotizing-Ly beautiful!!! when this movie came on cable, my girlfriend & i were ready to flip the channel but the acting was so bad we started to chuckle and as we continued to watch we were simply AMAZED at how purely and thoroughly AWFUL this production is.

what was truly striking, though... this movie came out in 1996, right? it must have been filmed in some kind of time tunnel because the clothes, the hair styles... everything except for the cars, looked STRAIGHT out of the 80's! there is so much more i could tell you about this masterpiece, but i don't want to violate the IMDb's spoiler policy. see it for yourself in the right frame of mind (may i suggest a succession of bong hits & beers?) & you will see what i mean. we were so sad to see that Tiger Heart is not available on DVD, so look for it late at night on encore, tbs or USA networks. DO EEEEEEEEET!!!

as a side note... for those that have seen the Trey Parker/Matt Stone porno/martial-arts/comedy, ORGAZMO... this simply MUST be the movie they based their movie's story on. watch both and you'll see what i mean.

The biggest load of c**p I have ever seen

[WD423 · 18 February 2001]

I am not kidding. Who paid for this to be made? I would like my rental fee back. Watch it and you will see what I mean. 8 year old's taking on grown men and beating them. I thought it was to be a good serious martial arts movie. Boy was I wrong.

Tiger Heart is a fun, "action-fest" of a movie

[barbiefor1 · 10/10 · 21 January 2004]

I expected the worst but got what might be some of the funnest. Even though at times the script is full of holes and the acting might not be the strongest I still enjoyed the movie as a whole. The star TJ Roberts carried his role with a sense of fun and panache and his action choreographed by action-meister Art Camacho was an homage to Bruce Lee without taking itself so seriously. If you want to watch a serious action film this is not for you but if you want to spend s 90 minutes having a good time, watch this movie. The direction was very well done and in fact saved the film from it's barely passable script.

It's not so bad.

[metalcop · 16 August 2005]

It is indeed "so bad it's good!" Doesn't do much for you if your a real Martial Arts fan. But what MA movie is great in 95? Blame the director. Gotta hype up your actors, and watch them. not just sit in your chair. The thing in this film was the background fighters/Actors. I mean they acted like they were in the background. Look out for it. It's hilarious.

T.J. Robert's was cool. He is why I cared to see this movie. Yeah I own it. I'm proud to. I like T.J. Roberts. He has however had a bad string of luck in the Film Industry. Let's just forget MASKED RIDER. But hey, He made me a fan.