Sat, Feb 8, 1997
Like mother, like daughter. Tiffany dates a biker. Bikers now remind Jennie of her bad boy Beau Bobby Joe Satan, who once gave her the thrill ride of her life, but then dumped her with a promise of a phone call that never came. She tries to warn newly-minted leather lady Tiffany against giving her heart - not to mention anything more - to the devil-may-care Johnny Stompanado. For tomorrow's phone call never comes.
Sat, Feb 15, 1997
School cafeteria dragon lady, chain-smoking Bulgarian Mrs. Garbaggio, feeds the kids a steady diet of mashed potatoes chronically infested by the most unsavory junk. Beauty Tiffany tries to reason with the beast, to no avail. And her appeal to the School Board bring less than stellar results. Her attempt to overthrow the draconian hag fails miserably - the old witch packs a gun, and the kids had none. Insomniac Jack's sleepless lament gets re-tuned into a potent protest song, We Will Eat No More Po-Ta-Toes, sparking a county-wide uprising which leaves the city in flames. All because of a song. As suspected folk singers flee, Jack happily sleeps through the carnage-filled network TV news report.
Sat, Feb 22, 1997
In English class, star pupil Tiffany scores a B. Actually, a B minus. And that's really just a tarted up C. For a girl who aims to go to Harvard. All because of disgruntled old teacher Monteleone, fed up with being underpaid, who rewards mediocrity with an A, while originality and creative input earn naught but scorn. Parroting Ryan gets an easy A for regurgitating total tripe, so that's the last straw - Tiffany has to stand up in class to the sour-faced less-than-intellectual bully. And Jack plans to make a movie with young talent, so flyers went up all over town, and a big party is expected, the clatter of high heels - that is, until the clump of heavy jackboots arrive.
Top-rated
Sat, May 3, 1997
Ryan at long last finds his calling in life. Accidentally. As a cutter of women's hair. No, not as a barber. As a stylist. But when he requests $200 from his Dad to go off to beauty school, Jack nearly has a heart attack wanting to die of shame, believing his son to be gay, oops!, the other way. Before you can say "Warren Beaty" though, Mr. Ryan becomes a huge hit with the ladies, some of whom even spill over Ross' way. Cutting the hair of a female Hollywood power monger lands Mr. Ryan in pole position to produce her next movie. But wise and thoughtful parents Jack and Jennie want him to go back to school, as finishing his education is more important.
Sat, May 17, 1997
Animal activist little Ross foists being a vegetarian upon the meat-guzzling family. It's either that, or they all lose out on the $10 000 that goes along with the award. Salads await. And Linda McCartney's lasagna. Tiffany rebels, and even Jack's favorite child gets pushed out as the lure of money talks. In the absence of his regular daily diet, Jack gets rhapsodical as he enthuses about the virtues of meat. And then Jasper barks at something he found in the cupboard. A traitor to his own cause gets revealed.
Sat, Sep 6, 1997
Tiffany is at college. Northridge Junior College. Far from Harvard, her ideal. All thanks to saboteur Mr. Monteleone, the B-minus-giving spoilsport. College life here is dull, and the only way up is to be a reporter for the college newspaper, which is in the doldrums as well. And even here, evil old Monteleone thwarts her. He pigeonholes her as a scandal columnist. So, there is only thing to do. If it's scandal he craves, it's scandal he'll get. His own. SheepGate. Yes, Mr. Monteleone loves sheep. Yes, of course it's a fabrication. But when the poor old sap starts denying, his world comes crashing down.
Sat, Sep 13, 1997
Ryan enrolled in Women"s Studies to be in Boobieville. His assignment there is to find out what women want. The avid male interest in dumb TV show Baywatch inspires Tiffany to do a study on whether men want a smart woman or a stupid woman. To this end, she will pose as twins, going after the same guy. Meanwhile, Ryan gets in touch with his feminine side. Right down to experiencing menstrual cramps. It's bad enough for Ross to live in a house where the nutty psychotic Dad talks to a stuffed bunny, but now both Tiffany and Ryan are two separate people.
Top-rated
Sat, Oct 25, 1997
To every generation, a Slayer is born. Or appointed. Ryan has his eye on a long-legged blonde cheerleader, but he can't score a date with her, she's busy every night. Busy slaying vampires. No, her name's not Buffy, it's Bunny. Trying to come to the rescue when his romance object is in danger, Ryan botches up as per usual, leaving the poor girl with a broken leg. So now he has to stand in as Vampire Slayer. Earth is doomed.
Sat, Dec 13, 1997
Tiffany adores her favorite teacher, Mr. Peabody. He's not like the cock-of-the-walk Mr. Monteleone at all. Quite the opposite. Too much so. Shy and withdrawn. To spite Mr. Monteleone, she plans to award Mr. Peabody as Teacher of the Year. And he'd be the guest of honor at their table for dinner. But it turns out Mr. Peabody has a dark secret. And as the spotlight falls on the demure old man, Tiffany's article in the school newspaper alerts the authorities, and the police arrive to arrest the serial killer. But he escapes. With the invitation standing. Guess who's coming to dinner...?