Zombie Island Massacre (1984) User Reviews

Horny Island Massacre!

[planktonrules · 2/10 · 15 November 2008]

The word "zombie" was added to the title to titillate--as was the presence of Rita Jenrette--as nymphet whose 15 minutes of fame came when talked publicly about her and her congressman husband's supposed tryst on the steps of the Capitol building. Normally, the adventures of a horny lady such as Jenrette would have quickly fizzled in the public's mind had she not subsequently posed for Playboy and starred in this cheap exploitation picture.

Those looking for zombies will no doubt be disappointed, though if you are looking for horny tourists who take off their clothes with little provocation (especially Ms. Jenrette) you will no doubt be satisfied. Heck, the film should have been more appropriately titled "Horny Island Massacre" as indeed there is lots of gratuitous killing and there's something about that tropical air that turns people into horn-dogs! Of course, given the title, the fact it was made by Troma Films AND the sleazy advertising campaign that accompanied the movie's debut, none of this should come as much of a surprise. It's NOT to be mistaken for Shakespeare and you can hardly expect more than you get.

The film has no stars (other than perhaps Jenrette--the Paris Hilton of her day) and has a rather low budget. The writing is pretty dim and there are only a few surprises along the way. One of the particularly silly bits is when the remaining five people wander into a mansion at night. It's totally dark outside, yet one of them almost instantly finds a small handgun hidden in the bushes!! He couldn't have found it faster if he'd had a map! There are also some really dumb people who act almost like they WANT to be killed they behaved so stupidly! I also loved the way Jenrette emoted when her movie husband was killed--it was so embarrassingly bad it gave me a chuckle.

Overall, the film is worth seeing only for the first two minutes, as you get to see an awful lot of the lovely Mrs. Jenrette--an AWFUL lot! After that, it's all down hill! A film worth watching only for bad film fan and the curious who want to catch a glimpse of Jenrette naked. All others beware!

Watch the trailer skip the movie

[rodzombi · 3/10 · 27 November 2022]

Seriously do yourself a favour and learn from my mistake, just watch the trailer and skip the movie! Every interesting / good moment is in the trailer! This is an early Troma movie, and a bad one at that. Very little zombies, very little massacre and a bit of some island? It's super boring with a non existent plot, drab characters and nonsensical dialogue. There is some occasional nudity but that is not enough to save this movie. I spent 75% of this shopping on Amazon! The trailer is really good and is totally misleading in that it makes it out to be action packed, it is not, it's peoples conversing and wandering through the forest for an eternity! Skip it! Trust me!

Should be considered as one of Troma's worst.

[insomniac_rod · 4/10 · 29 October 2004]

Troma sells it as a "Zombie flick" but it's nothing else but a poor , ultra low budget slasher flick with minimal gore and predictable situations.

I feel weak when commenting about this because I'm a big Troma fan and I felt cheated. The only good thing about the movie is the mansion setting. It's dark and creepy and helped in some "important" situations in the movie.

Horror fans, this flick has ZERO zombies... it should've been involved in the witchcraft or voodoo category.

Please, don't waste your time or money on this. I doubt it will be aired because it'd be an insult to horror fans. I had the bad luck to watch it at midnight on USA NETWORK back in 1997 and since then I still feel angered when thinking about it.

2/10. Say NO to this.

Where are the zombies?

[SalamanderGirl · 1/10 · 1 October 2006]

Aside from a really stupid scene where black magic resurrects an island villager, there are NO ZOMBIES in this stupid movie! The "plot" is a rehash from a million other grade-Z thrillers, with bad actors walking around spouting nonsense dialogue, while a very bored audience waits for them to die. Correction: while a very bored audience waits for them to get EATEN BY ZOMBIES, which THEY DON'T! This isn't even a crappy "Dawn of the Dead" rip-off, it's nothing. A more appropriate title might have been "Boring People Massacre," or perhaps "Boring People on Island Where Nothing Happens".

This reminds me of two other really bad "zombie" movies where there were no zombies. "Revenge of the Living Dead," and "Virgin among the Living Dead," neither of which had any zombies whatsoever. When the title and poster art and description on the video box promise ZOMBIES, they should maybe HAVE ZOMBIES in the movie!

In any case, don't make the mistake I did. When and if you find this on your video shelf, DO NOT RENT IT!

Trashy Island

[Johnny_West · 1/10 · 23 March 2020]

In the early 1980s, Rita Jenrette posed for Playboy and exposed her Congressman husband as a swinger and created a scandal. She tried numerous ways to capitalize on her dubious fame, and one of them was this movie. The best part of this movie is the first ten minutes or so, when Rita is nude taking a bath and making love to her boyfriend.

Rita and her boyfriend go to the Carribean, and take a tourist trip to some voodoo island where they witness a voodoo ritual that is very lame compared to the one with James Bond in Live and Let Die. After the ritual, the various tourists who went there on an old school bus want to get back to their hotel, but the bus is broken down, and the driver is missing.

Meanwhile the Voodoo Priest and the tour guide are making some kind of voodoo pact that involves sacrificing the tourists in order to boost business. Throw in drug dealers and five million dollars in cash, and this movie is a lot more like an episode of MIAMI VICE than a horror movie. No zombies are in this movie.

I am betting if this movie were simply called "Island Massacre" it would have a better score.

[Aaron1375 · 5/10 · 30 March 2004]

This is the first Troma picture I have seen that is basically a serious horror movie. What I mean is they never get really goofy here. Unfortunately, this probably turned off all the Troma fans out there. Then the title probably got zombie lovers attention and when they see this movie has basically one zombie who is not really involved with the plot they get ticked off and give the movie a one. I had low expectations so that is why I gave it a five. I did not think it was really all that good, but I also did not think it was all that bad. It was a watchable horror movie on an island with a few good kills and an easily predicted plot twist or two. I got this in a pack with two other Troma movies "Blood Hook" and "Blades" and I enjoyed this one the most even though the other two have higher scores. Still I understand why it has such a low score, when you are all set to see a zombie movie and you are not given any you do tend to get angry. I will admit this one would have been better if there were zombies swarming all over the house they take shelter in, but since I read some stuff before I watched it I knew it was not going to be a zombie movie per se.

A great B-movie!

[WritnGuy-2 · 29 August 1999]

I saw "Zombie Island Massacre," because a friend of mine owned it. Her aunt is in that movie as "Barbie." We had to see it. So we checked it out, and I have to say, if you can look past a lot of cheese, it's a great movie.

A large group of tourists head off to an island in the Carribean, only to come across voodoo, disaster, and zombies! The zombies look more like natives of the island, though, but then think of it as a cannibal movie without the scenes of eating. Eventually, a surviving group makes it to a house, and they meet up with this old guy. There are some weird subplots, but ignore them if you like. Not too much gore at all, but a lot of fun. For acquired tastes.

Stands with House by the Cemetery and Zombie Nightmare as the zombie flicks that are really slashers...

[LuisitoJoaquinGonzalez · 3/10 · 26 February 2005]

When you pick up a movie called Zombie Island Massacre, it's not too hard to let your imagination run away with you. It certainly sounds like there's going to be a massacre; its obviously going to take place on an island - and it looks to me like a gang of Romero-like zombies are sure to be the culprits. Why else would you choose a title like that? Well only director John Carter knows the answer to that conundrum, as he alone seems to be the only zombie that was present on the set of this eighties miss match, which is a damn site more Friday the 13th than it is Fulci. Yes folks for some unknown reason he and his crew have took the trappings of an eighties slasher and slapped on a misleading tag to excite fans of the living dead. But even stalk and slash addicts will feel cheated because the movie swaps genres once again towards the climax. More on that later…

Things launch with the oldest and most common of slasher movie chestnuts. The camera pans in on the exceptionally well-endowed Sandy (Rita Jenrette) as she washes off the suds in a shower. She must've just finished mud wrestling in a sewer judging by the way she's scrubbing those bazookas. Before you have the chance to say 'hackneyed', a masked intruder is on the scene creeping up on the unsuspecting female. Fortunately for Sandy, it's only her husband Joe (Ian McMillan) playing a prank. As a consolation the two head off to the bedroom so Jenrette can give us one last flash of her jublies. Next up we learn that the couple are currently in the Caribbean enjoying a pleasure trip with a group of surprisingly non-teenage tourists. Along with Sandy and Joe we have an elderly couple, a pair of newly weds, two stoners, a mysterious photographer and a single guy and gal who look certain to join the couple's list any time soon.

Part of their holiday package includes a trip to the remote isle of San Marie and they will be transported to the location aboard a coach that looks fit only for the scrap yard. Upon arrival they witness a voodoo mass, which sees a priest bring a corpse back to life using only goats blood and a few bizarre chants. The gruesome sacrificial sights are too much for one young madam to handle, so she and her hubby head off to the deep forest for a kiss and cuddle under the moonlight. That cues the arrival of an unseen menace with a spiked club, a murderous intent and heavy breath that sounds like a pig grunting over its chow. The maniac slaughters the two lovers before disappearing into the depths of the forest. Meanwhile, the rest of the holiday makers head back to their coach only to find that their driver is missing and so is the distributor cap, making the vehicle about as much use as a glass hammer. Luckily one of the travellers knows of a house that is situated nearby and the troupe decides to head over and bed down until morning. Little do they know that a psychopath is stalking them and it doesn't take long for him to start slashing the tourists…

Zombie Island Massacre is a bit of a let down in every respect really. As a Living Dead flick the lack of any actual zombies pretty much ruins it from that aspect. As a slasher it starts promisingly with a few tense shocks and creative use of the clichés, but soon withers with an unnecessary climax that involves everything from Columbian drugs cartel to spear chucking Zulu assassins. No really. Finally as a gore film it looks about as gruesome as an episode of Sesame Street, which also sums up the level of the producer's mentality. The early woodland stalking scenes are fairly atmospheric mainly due to the decent musical accompaniment from Harry Manfredini. But he proves once again that he can only produce one horror soundtrack that is re-used continuously throughout almost every slasher flick that he's been involved with (Friday the 13th/Slaughter High etc).

To be fair the acting is passable and you'll never ever guess who it is that's behind the maniacal murders. The Caribbean scenery is alluring to the eye and a sub-reggae soundtrack was somewhat refreshing for a flick of this genre. The maniac's disguise is also worth a look; imagine a ninja that's covered in feathers and has just been dragged backwards through forty yards of forest and you'll almost have a mental picture. The problem is that it just feels like John Carter set out to make three different movies and ended up chucking elements from all of them into one. It's just a shame that the net result was a bit of a mess with one too many rough edges that certainly needed sanding down.

So I can't really find much to recommend about Zombie Island Massacre, which is better described as the living dead flick where the only zombie was the guy in the director's chair. It's never a good idea to leave the audience feeling ripped off and that's why Carter's slasher fails dramatically

Should have been titled, "Island Massacre and No Zombies!"

[Aussie Stud · 1/10 · 3 March 2001]

I rented this garbage from my local video store thinking I was in for another 80's "zombie gore fest" treat. Instead, I was introduced to a piece of 80's horror trash that should have been relegated to the bottom of the $1.00 'pre-viewed video' bargain bin instead of being placed upon the shelves for rental.

The video cover depicted a zombie with rotting flesh (don't they all?) and a lot of vivid colors (I'm sure just to snazz up the box cover art detail). The back of the video depicted the movie to be about a group of tourists that get stranded on an island where they are eaten by zombies.

The only material that came close to that plot outline was perhaps the part about the tourists getting stranded on the island after their tour bus claps out. Five minutes into the movie, we already have the cast numbered as to who is going to die, when and where. There are no zombies. There is one village ritual where a supposedly "deceased" villager is reanimated by voodoo and then goes for a wander around the island. Meanwhile, our tourists are getting picked off one by one as they get themselves into ridiculous and ludicrous situations. For example, the first victims to go are a young couple who sneak off into the forest in the middle of the night for a quick poke and end up getting murdered by a psycho (the boyfriend receives a blow to the head by a heavy object). There is no zombie killing here!

The next victims turn out to be an older couple who 'get lost' in the woods while everyone else is seeking refuge. Again, there is no zombie. The remaining tourists board themselves up in a remote house that somehow has electricity and try to survive the night while each victim slowly seals their doomed fate. The storyline (if one existed in the first place) is bloody awful. The actors are just C-Grade nobodies trying to make it to the big time by starting at the bottom of the Hollywood ladder (and by no doubt after seeing this movie, remaining there), there is no suspense and everything is so predictable, you'd wonder if a 2 year-old thought this plot up.

The title of this movie is misleading. Of the 10 people or so in the whole world who may have been unfortunate to see this movie - I'm pretty sure the brunt of their anger was taken out on the video store clerk.

0/10

safe from zombies on this island

[marlowe_is_dead · 2/10 · 19 November 2000]

my favorite kind of horror film is a zombie film. so i ordered ZOMBIE ISLAND MASSACRE from my local store, and when it arrived, my god i couldn't wait to watch it.

when the film ended and i awoke, i was bitterly disappointed. "where were the zombies?" i mused. "why does this have an 18 certificate?" (equivalent to an R or even an NR in the USA)

this film is a PG if ever i saw one. Labyrinth and Legend are scarier than this pile of rubbish.

if you want a good zombie flick i recommend either Dawn of the Dead or Zombie Flesh Eaters. Lots of Zombies, lots of Violence & Blood --- nice.

Rita Jenrette's breasts are the only two good things in this otherwise lousy clunker

[Woodyanders · 2/10 · 4 October 2016]

A group of dopey American tourists who are vacationing on a Caribbean island find themselves in great danger after they witness a voodoo ceremony. Sound good? Well, it just ain't. Man, doe this cinematic bilge stink something rotten in every possible way: We've got flat (non)direction by John N. Carter, hokey false scares, a meandering story that plods along at an excruciatingly pokey pace, zero tension or creepy atmosphere, annoying and unlikable idiotic characters who do the dumbest things to exacerbate the severity of their already dire situation, lame and unconvincing gore, variable acting from a no-name cast, Harry Manfredini's familiar score blatantly recycles cues from his "Friday the 13th" music, and, worst of all, the shoddy paint-by-the-numbers script by Logan O'Neill and William Stoddard even provides an irritating and disappointing logical explanation for what's happening. On the plus side, busty former congressional housewife and Playboy model Rita Jenrette bares her exquisitely enormous breasts during a gloriously gratuitous shower scene at the very start of the movie, although to be brutally honest Rita's horrendous attempts at "acting" leave a lot to be desired. A dismal dud.

Not brilliant but not as bad as I thought it was going to be.

[poolandrews · 6/10 · 31 January 2006]

Zombie Island Massacre starts as a group of American tourists on holiday in the Caribbean prepare for a guided tour of a local island named St. Marie. They all meet up outside their hotel & are welcomed by their tour guide Reginald Jones (Dennis Stephenson), they all board a bus to take them to a waiting boat at the local docks. Once aboard they set off for St. Marie where the guide takes them to see a real life Voodoo ceremony performed by the local tribe in which a dead body is seemingly brought back to life. Two newlyweds Donna (Deborah Jason) & Ed (Tom Fitzsimmons) sneak off into the dense jungle for a bit of lovin' but both are brutally murdered. Once the Voodoo ceremony ends everyone start to make their way back to the bus only to discover that the driver has disappeared, Reginald says he will find a phone & call for help but doesn't come back. Photographer Paul (David Broadnax in a role that Wesley Snipes was originally considered for), all round hero Steve (Tom Cantrell) & an artist named Connie (Diane Clayre Holub) take charge & decide that they must help themselves but they quickly discover that something is lurking on the island with the intent of killing everyone one-by-one...

Edited & directed by John N. Carter Zombie Island Massacre wasn't anywhere near as bad as I had feared, that's not to say it's brilliant but I thought it was OK. Since this is another 'Troma Team Release' I didn't expect much so in that respect I wasn't disappointed. The script by star David Broadnax moves along at a fair pace & tries to throw a few twists & turns into the mix at the climax, it doesn't work all the time but at least some sort of effort was put into it. I don't like to blow my own trumpet but I have to say I saw EXACTLY where Zombie Island Massacre was going about half way through, I even spoke out loud my predictions & I was absolutely 100% right! Everyone was impressed I can tell ya! Maybe I've just seen too many of these things or maybe I just got lucky. The character's are the usual horror film clichés, the hero, the pretty woman, the black dude, the one who moans all the time, the selfish one, the ones who hold everyone else up etc. etc. Having said that at least they're not too annoying & most of them die. Unlike a lot of Tromas output this has no comedy elements at all despite the silly video artwork on the IMDb main page. The title is also rather misleading as there are no zombies in the film at all.

Director Carter obviously had a low budget to work with & does a reasonable job with what he has, it's a hell of a lot better than the usual Troma crap & at least tries to maintain some credibility. The violence & gore is tame to say the least, the only really gory bit is when someone is decapitated, other than that there's a bit when a couple of people fall in a pit with spikes at the bottom, someone is hit over the head & some gunshot wounds.

Technically Zombie Island Massacre is basic although better than the usual low Troma standard. It's not that well made & looks pretty rough. The acting isn't great, in fact it's poor. The film features Rita Jenrette was a former wife of SC Congressman John W. Jenrette Jr., so now you know!

Zombie Island Massacre makes for a fairly entertaining 90 odd minutes, don't get me wrong it's far from brilliant but I think it's probably worth a watch if your not too demanding. Better than expected.

Zombie Island Massacre

[Scarecrow-88 · 3/10 · 26 February 2009]

American tourists decide to take a Caribbean bus ride to attend a possibly authentic voodoo ceremony, afterward falling prey to predators cloaked in darkness attacking when they are at their most vulnerable. Who are these people? Are they the "voodoo people" with a hidden, hostile agenda? Or, are these monsters of a different kind? Are they in fact some sort of zombies that are terrorizing these foreigners for possibly invading their turf? Essentially a murder spree, as victims are picked off one or two at a time when separated from the group..by even the smallest distance. The killers are barely visible, entwined with leaves and barely shown on screen thanks to a camera which attempts to avoid the predators as much as possible. The mystery of who they are is VERY underwhelming, and a great many of the kills are rather lamely executed(..the decapitation is incredibly dopey as the head falls from the neck before the machete even touches it). Most of the violence is off screen, but when daggers penetrate victims, we see close-ups of the weapon inside the body with limited blood shed(..another scene has a couple landing in a pit layered with wooden spikes). There are some effective shot gun sequences where victims are blasted in the torso after releasing their spears. Paul(David Broadnax), is a black photographer who might be more than he appears, but another amongst the group is also hiding something as well. Steve(Tom Cantrell)is the other male of the group who takes a vital role in guiding them out of a difficult situation.

When their bus has been interfered with after the zombie ritual, the driver goes for help, vanishing leaving the group to fend for themselves. That is when Paul and Steve take charge, leading the group to a lavish unoccupied villa not too far away..the journey to get there has casualties. The premise has possibilities, but the pace is lethargic and the characters uninteresting. The death sequences never achieve a visceral thrill despite the opportunistic story-line of tourists trapped in a harrowing fight for survival in an unfamiliar place. The low budget obviously had something to do with the ineffectiveness of it all. It's obvious, due to her hideous performance as Sandy, that Rita Jenrette was hired for her breasts, which greet us in a shower sequence and a little later when her boyfriend, Joe(Ian McMillan)wants to make out in the lower deck of a yacht. Important character, Connie(Diane Clayre Holub), who conveniently saw the villa and communicated it's whereabouts to the rest of the group, has an important agenda that will play out at the end in the climactic showdown. The attempts at character development and the explanation for the events that transpire, fall positively flat. The tourists themselves as a collective unit(..other than the two men that lead when the going gets tough)nag and whine incessantly for the duration, not unusual in these types of films because when they are eventually killed you simply could care less.

TROMA style

[dead_dudeINthehouse · 7 July 2003]

I'm a big fan of TROMA, and I feel somewhat guilty for saying that this movie is horrible! Terrible acting, terrible plot, terrible f/x, terrible score, and terrible setting. I couldn't watch this movie entirely until a few years ago when USA NETWORK aired it. It's not scary, not gory, and it has no point!! I recommended only for DIE HARD SLASHERS that don't mind visual pain. There you go, if you watch this movie and look for something to save then you can say you are a truly die hard slasher. The thing to save here is that TROMA feeling,it's a low budget but it has its moments of weirdness and some funny lines.

1/10 -Burn it! Flush the ashes

Just Two Things.....

[Flixer1957 · 1/10 · 21 November 2001]

**Possible Spolers Ahead**

This ranks with REVENGE OF THE DEAD as one of the poorest "zombie" flicks ever made. It has one of the worst "plot twists" since SHRIEK OF THE MUTILATED; this, and the movie overall, will make you feel cheated.

There are only two reasons to watch this grade-z turkey, and both of them are hanging off of Rita Jenrette's chest. So there!

Yep pretty much one of the worst films i've ever seen

[NowDoINotLikeThat · 1/10 · 12 October 2006]

First off trading standards should be prosecuting the makers of this film. It clearly states the words "Zombie" and "Massacre" in it's title ! Where on earth are the zombies???

And as for a "massacre" -all we get is a group of instantly fogetable characters slowly waddling about an island ...well a crap set ..and later a house ...before being bumped off one by one by irate local natives ! Awful story which tries to have a drug-smuggling related twist at the end but frankly you couldn't give a toss by then . No gore , no zombies just an awful boring , tedious film with nothing of remote interest in it's plot or anything.

...there's nothing even ironically funny in its awfulness to redeem it. Awful poo film.

Where are the zombies? Where is the massacre?

[bunch-5 · 2/10 · 21 April 2004]

The title of a movie should have some connection to the contents.

The director seems to have forgotten this.

The acting was fine, the feel was spooky and gratuitous breasts are always nice but where are all the zombies that massacre people?

In addition to the other movie suggestions, I would add, Hell of the Living Dead (aka Virus) http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0082559/ and any of the Romero zombie flicks.

For my taste, all that would have been required for this movie to be decent would be to add at least a dozen zombies and a confrontation between them and the visitors to the island.

Zombie-less Island-Mess

[Witchfinder-General-666 · 2/10 · 19 September 2007]

Generally, I'm a huge fan of Troma films. Troma movies are just for people with a certain affection for trash and exploitation, of course, and many of them are over-all pretty silly, but they are all somehow highly entertaining, original and memorable. At least that's what applies to every Troma movie I've seen, EXCEPT John N. Carter's "Zombie Island Massacre" of 1984. While even the sillier Troma Movies I had seen, before I saw this, were entertaining in their own way, "Zombie Island Massacre" is just plain boring.

The movie is, of course, silly, but, as mentioned above, I don't mind the silliness. "Zombie Island Massacre", however, does not have any of the great qualities that make Troma flicks special and memorable. Neither is it gruesome, disturbing and ultra-violent as "Blood Sucking Freaks" nor is it demented as "Mother's Day" or hilarious as "The Toxic Avenger". These three movies are probably Troma's most famous films, of course, but "Zombie Island Massacre" does not even compare to any of the lesser-known Troma flicks I've seen. The only elements "Zombie Island Massacre" shares with many other Troma flicks are the negative ones - A thin plot and bad acting - without featuring any of the many great elements Troma's, usually wonderfully demented films normally provide.

Furthermore, I can't stop wondering who was responsible for the title "Zombie Island Massacre". The film takes place on an Island, all right, but there is not a single Zombie in the entire movie. Some people are talking about Zombies in the movie, but that's it. Furthermore, I would have wished to see some more people massacred. A few people are killed of course, but this film having the word "massacre" in its title is a daring exaggeration.

Anyhow, the movie, has a few (very few) funny moments, but I was disappointed in spite of its bad reputation. Even hardcore Troma fans should consider twice before wasting one and a half hours on this movie, since it does not deliver any of the great, demented qualities Troma usually stands for. 2/10

Somewhat Misleading

[Uriah43 · 4/10 · 26 December 2012]

I believe that there are several reasons this film has received such low scores. First, the title is somewhat misleading because, as several people have correctly pointed out, there really aren't any zombies in this film. Now, maybe this film was given this title to take advantage of the fact that zombie movies are currently in vogue. Maybe not. But with a title like "Zombie Island Massacre" the typical "zombie enthusiast" (like myself) will buy or rent the film expecting certain things. When it turns out to be something completely different it feels like the old "bait and switch". No doubt some might even feel like they were swindled. To therefore think that they would give this film a high score simply isn't logical. Another reason for the low scores might also be because of the low budget which didn't attract the best talent in Hollywood to participate. For example, Rita Jenrette (as "Sandy") was quite attractive. But her acting abilities weren't good enough to turn this film into a success. Certainly not with the rest of the cast available. Likewise, the plot was okay. However, it wasn't exactly unique as it's been done before on several occasions. In short, I don't think this was a "bad movie" per se. The problem was that it just didn't have some of the critical ingredients necessary to make this into a "good movie" considering everything else.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,ha.....................................

[suburbanavenger · 1/10 · 19 March 2006]

This movie gives alternate meaning to the designation horror film. The horror lies in the very idea that it was conceived and executed at all. If you ever wondered if a film could be so bad that it would make Ed Wood turn over in his grave, wonder no more. This is it. The acting is so pathetic that it's comical. I'd like to meet the person who told any of these people that they could act. She/he is undoubtedly the best con artist going. One of the challenges of acting in a horror film is being able to react believably under the extreme and fantastic circumstances of the story. These actors could not say hello without seeming unnatural or affected. My advice to all readers is that you watch this movie when you are feeling depressed. It will make you laugh yourself silly and restore you self esteem. It's Prozac without the prescription.

this film is terrible

[peacestar · 1/10 · 25 December 1999]

i love zombie films, especially the Romero trilogy and zombi flesh eaters....so i excitedly ordered this film from my local stockist expecting a gore-fest....imagine my dismay when this crap limped dismally on my screen...there is nothing good to say about this film...their ain't no hoeing zombies!! the violence and horror are nonexistent...never watch this film..the best thing about it is the title

The Cloud's Silver – or Aluminum -- Linings

[ratebait · 3/10 · 2 March 2011]

Let's talk about a few of the meritorious aspects of this film, the title of which already promises disappointment and disaster. Its biggest draw was arguably the female lead, whose claim to fame was not being a "Playboy Playmate," but being part of a scandal that took the nation by storm – congressmen's wives are not the kind expected to misbehave. Those who recall this affair might get some degree of satisfaction with seeing what the hubbub was about, and Ms. Jenrette does a credible job with her acting, at times even being allowed to chew up the scenery. (How impressive that she also had a hand in a reggae song on the soundtrack; as another pointed out, the choice of reggae was refreshing.)

David Broadnax came up short in the screen charisma department, although his rugged, handsome good looks (reminded me of Fred Williamson) were welcome with the dashing role he played; at first I thought he might have carried the day from the zombie menace in the same vein as the famously African-American lead of Romero's NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD. (Mr. Broadnax was reportedly not a healthy man, unfortunately having only fifteen years of life left from the time of this role.) That was before I got the notion that we were not going to be in for a swarm of zombies, as the title gave the impression, a fact that did not sit well with many of the reviewers here, horror fans with a one-track mind. (I was disappointed as well, but not to the point of giving up on the movie.)

Low-budget horror fans ought to be used to being taken in by misleading titles, a phenomenon not always the fault of dishonest filmmakers, but the distributors who are not above meddling with changes. Yet the title is not totally off-kilter; we are on an island, and the many killings that take place would be called a massacre. Regardless of the identity of the apparent "swamp thing" who went around committing the murders, it's not as though the film does not boast a zombie, That would be during the voodoo sequence, which succeeded in achieving a nice dosage of creeps; the mud-caked resurrected zombie was an interesting throwback to Val Lewton's I WALKED WITH A ZOMBIE – not the kind of cinematic zombie that fans prefer to see in their brain-eaters.

I thought the pairing of two "hunks," the white and black heroes, was an innovative concept; often in movies, there is no confusion about who the real hero is. I also liked the suspense that was created up until around the point when the tour bus had been vandalized, and when the bus driver went out to make that abortive phone call for help; as he came upon a couple of disturbing developments, some genuine tension was created. We knew we would be in for it afterwards, in typical horror film fashion, with the absurd ways by which many of the victims were done in.

Some of the acting was -- as may be expected -- uneven, but the older villain by the film's conclusion got very high marks, as well as the female who turned out to be in cahoots with the skullduggery. When led at gunpoint by one of our heroes, the actress especially shined.

Many of the gripes that other reviewers have pointed out are justified; the film had potential, but turned out rather dull and senseless in many areas. The biggest letdown for me was the genre-switching plot twist at the finale, which made a mockery of the film's horror foundation, like something out of "Scooby Doo."

The missed opportunities are a pity. A group of tourists stranded {especially at night) in a foreign and threatening locale can be such a welcome premise, when done correctly. A horror film that got it right was 2007's ROGUE, where a tour boat breaks down in the Australian outback.

One of the disadvantages of forums where anyone is allowed to comment is that so many people can be so wrong. Let's try to keep in mind that Troma the production company is a far cry from Troma, the distributor. (In order to keep afloat, Troma concentrated its firepower during its later operational phase with the latter role.) Thus, the familiar product that Troma is known for, the grossly comical efforts such as THE TOXIC AVENGER, have nothing to do with independently produced films that have little call in the marketplace, and thereby are forced to slum their wares with a little outfit such as Troma. One reviewer, to give a glaring example, pointed to BLOOD SUCKING FREAKS and MOTHER'S DAY as two typical Troma films. Those films were made by creators having nothing to do with Troma, at a time before Troma even came into substantive being.

predictable and pretty corny

[holmescj80 · 23 September 2004]

It has been a while since I have seen this film - almost five years. This film is so predictable, all the dumb tourists get to die first, and the cunning tourists fight it out - but where are the zombies? I think i only remember seeing one through the film.

The gore scenes could have been a bit longer, as they were set in the Caribbean jungle, the usual props are there - a pit covered in leaves and the stoners fall in, speared to death by a sharpened bamboo pole. Some of the lighting in the film is a bit dull, too. The soundtrack is one I like (Harry (Friday the 13th) Manfrendini) had added this score of music to the film. Unfortunately, it doesn't cover enough for a film of this type - a real bow-wow. Only true zombie fans would enjoy this film.

phew....glad that's over

[thatguynamedphil · 1/10 · 4 August 2002]

What an awful movie. I can honestly say that this is the worst motion picture i've ever seen, without question. Were it not for the laughter that this movie induces by lulling viewers into a state of temporary insanity, I guarantee that there would be mass-riots in protest of this film.

Troma's laughable zombie trash flick

[Leofwine_draca · 3/10 · 29 September 2017]

ZOMBIE ISLAND MASSACRE is an extremely cheap and trashy horror film that was put out by the team at Troma. The story involves a bunch of characters who end up stranded on an island populated by zombies and murderers, and in the best slasher tradition they end up getting bumped off one at a time. Sadly, the cheap gore effects are ridiculous and laughable rather than effective, so the emphasis is very much on the displaying of female skin more than anything else. This film feels oddly reminiscent of the likes of ZOMBIE FLESH EATERS and ZOMBIE HOLOCAUST in terms of execution, but it's not a patch on those infamous Italian gut-munchers.