5/10
Boring, predictable, forgettable.
18 May 2017
Boring, predictable, forgettable

"Alien: Covenant" is part slasher film, part continuation of the origin story of the alien species known as xenomorphs.

Perhaps there exists a fan base that eagerly anticipates discovering the origins of the gruesome creature that terrorized Signory Weaver back in 1979, but I think most people won't care and it will fade from their memories moments after leaving the theater.

The "slasher" part of the film plays as a B-horror movie with a massive budget. The characters, while well acted, are paper thin. They make baffling stupid decisions that result in most everyone dying. But who cares - it's evident their only purpose is to be props for the aliens to slaughter in the most gruesome ways imaginable for our entertainment.

Unfortunately, the most terrifying death is spoiled in the trailers. The rest are the same thing we've seen in every other "Alien" movie - chest bursting, acid, facehuggers, etc.

There are also a few ludicrous eye-rolling moments, some philosophical musings you might find on the side of a cereal box, and a "twist" ending that is a laughably obvious.

Wait until it is released on DVD, buy a six pack, and enjoy it for what it is, a big budget meaningless gore-fest.
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