I am with the reviewer Sean Hooks, who wrote, "I honestly cannot recall the last time I saw a film this bad," and the reviewer Bradley, who wrote, "The editing was so poorly executed that I thought my Wifi went down." -- the funny thing is, i too had exactly the same thought, for real!
I love train films. Aside from some poorly filmed Walschaert valve gears, this movie offers nothing in the way of train footage. You can find better Walschaert valve gears footage on a home video of a G-Scale Bachmann ten wheeler model running in someone's backyard.
But, i hear you object, it stars Johnny Depp! No, actually it misuses Johnny Depp. It is, like, if Johnny Depp was a slightly overfed puppy, say a pudgy shiba inu puppy, and someone put cute little Willie Wonka clothes on him and made him die slowly, slowly, slowly, while ghastly pseudo folk guitar tones droned on and on and this missgeburt appeared in your Facebook feed and when you tried to report it for violating community standards, you got a message from Facebook saying that, no, actually it was fine, because Johnny Depp will be a dead shiba inu puppy now for all eternity.
I love train films. Aside from some poorly filmed Walschaert valve gears, this movie offers nothing in the way of train footage. You can find better Walschaert valve gears footage on a home video of a G-Scale Bachmann ten wheeler model running in someone's backyard.
But, i hear you object, it stars Johnny Depp! No, actually it misuses Johnny Depp. It is, like, if Johnny Depp was a slightly overfed puppy, say a pudgy shiba inu puppy, and someone put cute little Willie Wonka clothes on him and made him die slowly, slowly, slowly, while ghastly pseudo folk guitar tones droned on and on and this missgeburt appeared in your Facebook feed and when you tried to report it for violating community standards, you got a message from Facebook saying that, no, actually it was fine, because Johnny Depp will be a dead shiba inu puppy now for all eternity.