oscaralbert Review of The Audition

The Audition (1933)

"Holy smokes, I've been watching the wrong . . . "

[5/10 · 5 November 2015]

" . . . short!" any reasonable viewer would paraphrase "Mr. Rogers'" final exclamation to end THE AUDITION. Theater audiences of the early 1930s would wait with Bated Breath as this nine-minute live-action opening act began, having been promised a treat in store for them with a Royal Arcadians appearance. They'd then suffer through lame musical number after dull act, nervously glancing at their watches (if they had one of those newer models with radium-painted glow-in-the-dark hands and numbers that sent so many French and Swiss ladies to an early grave, since they frequently mouthed the radioactive tips of their tiny paint brushes to keep them adequately precise, not knowing any better). First we suffer through THE AUDITION's third-string Phil Emerton "band," then this sad-sack group accompanies a wailing burlesque queen who bumps and grinds without removing anything. Next, Phil's posse is magically transported on-stage, backing a female trio croaking out some Dixie dirge as Steamboat Days film snippets are back-projected. Finally, two guys tumble out of nowhere onto the stage and start tap-dancing, until the Bad Neighborhood Mr. Rogers says that it's all been a collective nightmare, and the Royal Arcadians will NOT appear in this misbegotten travesty after all.