Haphazardly made sci-fi porn
28 January 2015
Even in its minimalist approach (to sets, locations, etc.), this combo sci-fi/porn film seems quite ambitious compared to other genre-mashing early '70s movies. However, unknown (for good reason) auteur Antony Weber muffs the job (pun intended).

IMDb helpfully informs us that he had earlier made another porn/action movie called SAVAGE CONNECTION which would be considered a lost film if anyone were looking for it. That picture has the same leads as this one: Sandy Carey and Michael Abbott.

I won't belabor Weber's plot spine (it's not really much of a screenplay), detailed adequately in the Something Weird Video liner notes for the DVD version. What it leaves out is the fact that the print used for video transfer appears incomplete -the final reel is shredded and incomprehensible.

Up until that point Weber presents a potentially interesting mixture: cheapo MAD MAX automobile to accompany motor cycles as post-apocalyptic mode of transportation (several years before George Miller made Mel Gibson a star); stark desert landscape of the future (even before L.Q. Jones' take on Harlan Ellison's classic A BOY AND HIS DOG starring Don Johhson) plus porn.

And it is porn that dominates the proceedings, kicked off by lovely (but stuck with tons of makeup and unbecoming futuristic costuming) Sandy Carey and fellow X veteran Malta in leading roles. Michael Abbott in the lead role of a general lording it over a budget- constricted tiny cast, is a poor actor and not much of a sex simulator, accounting for the fact that his entire list of credits is comprised of the Weber-directed pair of movies.

As usual Uschi Digard fills up the screen with her massive ta-tas, but add this to the seemingly endless list of credits that bait her fans to watch but turn out to be unworthy of her presence. Most of the women in Weber's cast are attractive but he's not the man to pilot them.

The other genre he manages to inject is the then extremely popular martial arts craze, of which FIVE FINGERS OF DEATH and Bruce Lee were about to make a tremendous impact at the U.S. box office. Male ingénue lead here John Martin shows off his martial arts skills and even gets a credit for same in addition to his non-acting. It's billed as karate, because kung-fu specifically was not yet in general circulation apparently when this movie was shot. He even has a battle with cute Dianne Bishop (another never-made-it thesp), cast as a deaf-mute babe auditioning for a new PREHISTORIÇ WOMEN craze which unfortunately never happened (that genre was winding down back in England at the time).

With its lack of continuity and inattention to proper plot development, CRIES would still have made a passable drive-in time killer, but it was never booked near me during my early '70s mania for taking in as many double or triple bills at the Cleveland, Akron or Canton ozoners as possible. I doubt if either of Weber's movies got many bookings at all.

The splicy nature of this print makes it unclear whether CRIES was soft or hardcore. Uschi often appeared in XXX movies while still retaining her cherry, and star Sandy Carey went both ways. But Weber's poorly staged groping moments looked to me as strictly soft, regardless of editing or CINEMA PARADISO style projectionist tampering.
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