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Ambitious but misguided
Brad Armstrong has the advantage of Wicked Pictures backing, resources and talent for his big-budget porn projects, but "Sexy" is one no one was clamoring for out there in pornland. Chalk it up as one of his massive ego-trips, showing off but coming up short.
As he and his cast enthuse about the project in the BTS short subject, it gives the sex performers a chance to stretch themselves and show off other talents, in this case choreography and dance ability. Brad must be aware that the current Adult Entertainment audience currently skews heavily toward the all-sex format (with so much free internet porn available) plus a dedicated segment of us old diehards who enjoy narrative stories with sex. But who wants to watch mediocre dance routines eating up much of the running time.
So with Wicked contract players Jessica Drake, Kaylani Lei and Alektra Blue strutting their stuff, we also get to see Brandy Aniston as both performer and choreographer, plus many a safe-sex scene. Casting is not as impressive as Brad would seemingly think, for in one lesbian threesome he has Kiara Mia opposite Mercedez (former Vivid superstar) even though they are physically identical types; third girl in that triumvirate is the unique Katsuni.
It's presented as a burlesque/cabaret show on stage, with hammy James Bartholet dressed up like a circus ringmaster as the rhyming emceee. Unfortunately, he conjures up bad memories of a slightly similar clunker from Vivid, B. Skow's execrable "Circus" in which makeup man Lee Garland was the circus ringmaster for a series of sideshow sex performers.
This listing was incorrectly submitted to the database with misinformation re: country, company names. Correct listing is for the 2016 release of Mile High Media from Canada with this title.
Women Seeking Women 28 (2006)
Seeking quality rather than quantity
There are only 3 vignettes in this edition of the hit series, but the femmes deliver quality sex and romance nonetheless.
Standout features two greats: Nica Noelle seducing Elexis Monroe, after latter's curiousity concerning lesbianism hits paydirt. The uber-lovely Anita Dark stars in a Girlfriends Films glamor segment, as she and Zoe Britton lie on a bed in their sparkling evening gowns after a party, leading to sex initiated by Zoe against a beautifully decorated set.
Final segment is a bit of a letdown, starting off promisingly with two ladies wandering down a lonely beach, but ending up with Michelle Lay putting Sindy up for the night at her beach house. The blonde Sindy has almost nothing to say, leaving Michelle to do all the verbal improvising, but makes up for it once she moves from the couch to her hostess's bed for some Sapphic coupling.
Registered Nurse 2 (2009)
Smash Pictures takes a leaf out of the Brazzers playbook with this poorly done Kevin Moore series of vignettes. One starring Jayden James and Johnny Sins as nurse and doctor humping a chintzy exam room seems an exact carbon copy of many Sins' vignettes for Brazzers' "Doctor Adventures" series.
Anal sex is included with the late great Shyla Stylez in a fetish nurse costume (latex included) servicing doc Sean Michaels for IR content, while two creampies are presented by nurses Aletta Ocean and Tara Lynn Foxx. Oddly enough, Kristina Rose is on hand to wiggle her big rump but sticks to vaginal sex for a change.
Poor script, as usual
Marc Cushman, a man who confuses quantity with quality, gets credited as director with two different pseudonyms on this mediocre Penthouse release: "Cash Markman" in opening credits and "Penny Nichols" in end credits. He declines to be listed for one of his thousand lousy screenplays, perhaps understandably.
India Summer voices over his pithy, pointless and annoyingly smug narration, introducing six vignettes of cheating wives action. Cushman delights in talking down to his viewers, clearly ashamed of slaving away in porn (though cashing his innumerable paychecks), and it shows.
When it comes inevitably to the final vignette wherein India appears on screen and humps TJ Cummings, the script makes no sense whatsoever, rather than tying up loose ends. India closes a folder (presumably containing letters to Penthouse, given that this is a Penthouse Letters release, though Markman neglects to follow the usual recitation of personal letter that the series format ordinarily presents) and humps TJ without any explanation of why she has lectured him about infidelity for an hour and a half, and even what their relationship is.
The segments clash in terms of content, with one heavy-handed vignette featuring Misty Stone convincing Marcus London that their respective spouses are cheating on them with each other, the solution being of course that London hook up with Misty for some IR content.
Requisite lesbian scene has bisexual Cassandra Cruz confiding to love Mia Lelani that she needs both servicing from her husband as well as her, as they get down on the couch in front of a roaring fireplace.
Brown Sugar Rush Part 2 (2007)
Pornostatic delivers some popular and talented femmes from the Indian Subcontinent and Britain in this edition. Notably, label's "lady boss" and mentor of talent Anjali Kara shines in two segments, one opposite Rio Mariah.
The label's resident Black stud Alonso Shaft makes an appearance while representing the white male population Jez Kane brings his extremely thick dick to work on Anjali, who can barely accommodate it. Perhaps stealing the show is Ariana Mistry, queen of too much eye makeup (even exceeding at times that of Britain's mainstream champ Eva Green) is impressive in her boy/girl scene, followed by an extended masturbation solo.
Overreliance on the gimmick
The Voyeur is a Harmony Films director following in the footsteps of Tanya Hyde, providing sort of a kink lite for the label. This all-girl opus runs nearly 3 hours long and suffers mainly from too many dildos rearing their ugly heads.
The casting is top-notch, a characteristic that has always made Harmony among the top British companies. Opener with Rebecca More servicing Megan Coxxx is faultless, as the two local superstars shine in both masturbation and Sapphic sex.
Show notably emphasizes homegrown girls, rather than the usual reliance on the bevy of Eastern European beauties who have revolutionized porn content since the '90s.
Twin Flames (2016)
Sexy Dolce in charge
Though Darcie Dolce is a girl/girl performer, Penthouse enlisted her as host and star of this Forum release. She introduces 5 vignettes based on reader letters, with one devoted to her lesbian sex with like-minded Shy Love.
Director Skye Blue keeps matters romantic, and the femme cast is universally appealing, including hot Luna Star, nearly unrecognizable with black hair prior to her becoming a bleached blonde bombshell. It adds up o standard Penthouse Video conent.
Nothing Underneath (2003)
After being one of the industry's top filmmakers, Simon Wolf's output eventually degenerated into gonzo crap, this being a prime example. The DVD displays a 2006 copyright but was evidently released closer to its end of 2003 shooting date on VHS.
It's merely six scenes of humping, with a lousy cast (even Kelly Kline doesn't look pretty here, something of an inverse-achievement). My copy is headed straight for the Amazon CD/DVD destroyer.
Sex with My Trainer (2017)
Stills and Mills' first porn label was Web Young, a pleasant enough exercise in jail-baiting, and it continues as part of their Girlsway empire with frivolous content like that of this DVD compilation. Lately they've become stingy with us Old School fans (i.e., who still watch DVDs rather than streaming along), so there are only 3 vignettes instead of the usual 4 or 5 on this baby.
Title scene stars two of the most popular ladies in recent porn: Riley Reid phoning up Lana Rhoades to get some personal training. They're outdoors on yoga mats stretching, until Lana seduces her with the usual (and stimulating for the male viewer) effect.
Other vignettes are okay: Reid's lookalike Melissa Moore joined in her twin bed by horny (and very hairy "down there") roommate Karlee Grey in a ditty titled "Dreams Come True", and then a blonde-on-blonde exercise stretching credibility all out of whack: Elsa Jean seduing Carter Cruise after they pretend to be lesbians in order to stave off the catcalls of a couple of male creeps (one of whom is crew member AJ Bucks) driving by in their car. That brief set-up prevents this from being an "all-female cast" video.
Jizz on Those Jugs (2016)
A fine assortment
Those Hungarians at DDF deliver a very satisfying array of all-natural huge breasts in this edition of their DD Busty DVD compilations. Lately the label has been calling itself DD Busty Hardcore and straying from its original Prime Directive, so earlier releases like this one are preferable viewing.
Not only do we get to see Sensual Jane in the kitchen cooking up her non pareil brand of hot sex but there also several strong threesomes. It's difficult to judge who is bigger up front: Laura Orsolya or Ansastasia Lux, but they both compete for David Perry's cock in the opening vignette, a tough act to follow especially as Laura provides anal sex.
Chessie Kay takes on both Choky Ice and Lauro Giotto in her threesome, while the oddest thing in the DVD is having Lutro featured in back to back segments that are virtually identical in content. In each of these scenes, Lutro is sleeping peacefully until a horny and top-heavy lady wakes him up and insists on humping him: first Suzie, and then similarly floppy-breasts wonder Krystal Swift. Per the title, breast-sex resulting in a money shot is emphasized throughout.
Double Protection Volume 1 (2012)
They meant double penetration
Paul Chaplin's low concept for this forgotten Bluebird release is five orgy scenes spotlighting d.p.'s, with his usual cast of busty and attractive femmes. It displays Volume 1 in the title, and a copyright of 2007, but fortunately no second edition was released before the label went belly up.
Take your pick: Carly Parker vs. Carmella Bing as breast in show, with CP getting a traditional d.p. while CB goes for the double-vag variety. Not much of interest elsewhere in the junker, as Chaplin inveigles his way (and his hairy legs) into nearly every sex scene, improvising some drivel of dialog as he stages clumsy set-ups involving body guards (guys wearing shades and black outfits) having sex with the ladies they're charged with protecting. Near the end Angel Cassidy gets to play a female body guard.
3 hours of bad road
B. Skow evidently thought he was doing a great job in porn once upon a time, and the folks at the late not so great Vivid Video encouraged him, resulting in crap like this homage to Briana Banks.
Misleading title stems from Skow's hoary questioning of his femme cast in time-honored idiotic BTS fashion, requesting a "most outrageous sex act you've ever done". So he delivers each girl having sex on a crummy set with the hired stud, and palms it off as a "flashback".
Briana is the star so she gets two scenes. That's all she wrote in this 3-hour mess, in which Briana's boobs look (and are poorly photographed by Skow) terrible for once in her career.
Odd feature has intermittent charms only
Richard Banks, an obscure Adult filmmaker, flunks out with this minor Caballero video, reissued on DVD in 2010.
It is ostensibly a vehicle for Bobbi Bliss, an actress who I consider the greatest deep throat artist in film history. She is well-disguised in wig, shades and jail-bait outfit as a streetwalker here, but her main role is the wife in a contested divorce case, as indicated by the show's title.
Husband Michael J. Cox is caught cheating, dallying in a sex club with dominatrix Laura Palmer, whose footage is oddly spread out throughout the video. Editing is quite poor, making a jumble of the story and fatally harming the effectiveness of the sex stagings.
Randi Rage, a busty forgotten actress, plays Bobbi's lawyer while Mike Horner is the attorney representing Cox. They all have sex, including an obligatory extraneous sex scene between Horner and his secretary Candy Hill.
Just another chance to see Bobbi in action.
First Reformed (2017)
And the winner is: Most Depressing and pretentious film of the year
Overwritten, with dialog humans don't ordinarily use in conversation, Paul Schrader's latest loser is poor beyond belief. Even the trick casting of Cedric the Entertainer in a character role ends up being merely a caricature of those Evangelists of Wealth/Success preachers.
Apparently Schrader's disinterest in entertaining his audience has reached its apotheosis, as the dreary pacing and deadly dull nature of nearly all of the film (except for a fantasy "levitation" sequence) is gruelling to watch. The use of the Neil Young song at a funeral has its heavy-handed relevance to the stupid story line, but is embarrassing as executed.
A total failure in all respects, including even Ethan Hawke's praised but misguided (literally) central performance.
Shattered Vows (1998)
Unsung winner by Nic
I have found most of Nic Cramer's films underwhelming, so the delights of this rather obscure title in his oeuvre was a very pleasant surprise.
It's shot on film and boasts a crew list totalling perhaps 100 names (wow!), but is an unpretentious little feature that delights with unexpected twists and turns of the story. And gets the job done, hot sex scenes and all, in a compact 73 minutes;.
Title refers to a wedding, which never takes place and is treated with light humor. Jonathan Morgan is betrothed to stautesque Lauren Montgomery, but expresses misgivings to fellow psychologist George Kaplan. It turns out that Lauren is a grifter, out to marry him, then set him up and fleece him of his fortune, in order to live happily ever after with her lesbian lover Keri Windsor. Lauren and Keri later teamed up in the classic Adam & Eve series "Naked Hollywood", but Lauren is incongnito here, billed as "Lacy Ogden".
Star of the film is Sydnee Steele, cast in a very, very offbeat role as a prostitute (introduced servicing J.J. Michaels at the outset of the movie) who is on the run from Mickey G., cast as either her obsessive boyfriend or just pimp -it not being made clear which. Suffice it to say that in a series of extremely strange circumstances she emerges wearing (stolen) Lauren's wedding gown and gets Morgan in the sack, for some good old bride fetish action.
This unfolds like a screwball comedy of old, scenes unfolding as strangely as in Hawks' classic "Bringing Up Baby", but surprisingly Cramer courtesy of his talented screenwriter Martin Brimmer/Rodger Jacobs makes the transitions even more pleasurable than in a mainstream movie. I wish his later, often overblown movies were as entertaining.
Lesbian Stepmother 2 (2016)
Excellent, unpredictable drama by Dana
Dana Vespoli treats his newish series for Sweetheart Video with great respect, and in this second volume we get an interesting story starring Cherie DeVille in the title role, not the expected unrelated vignettes.
DeVille's acting ability is on display (in addition to her well-known prowess as a sex performer) as she does battle with a brat of a step-daughter well-played by Karlee Grey in full schoolgirl fetish costume regalia.
I won't spoil the story and its surprises, but suffice it to say that Dana provides solid plot twists and some thrills en route to a seriously downbeat ending. DeVille manages to stay mainly in character, even though this Adult format requires her to participate fully (even if under protest) in the sex scenes.
To offer some variety, Dana cleverly inludes an incriminating sex tape featuring guest stars Jaclyn Taylor and Jessa Rhodes. And she writes in a strong NonSex supporting role for herself, too.
As usual, very tqlented and attractive Adult actresses are merely spinning their wheels for some no-talent internet-based pornographers in the first compilation of this series of lousy Bang! vignettes.
Each lady is interviewed, in time-honored (and boring) BTS fashion, asked to recount a wild sexual escapade. The actress spouts some b.s. and we watch in a fake flashback her acting out this fictitious nonsense. Even before the video starts, the standard boiler plate disclaimer makes it clear these are sheer fantasies duh.
Making it all worse is that Johnny Castle is cast as the random stud in each and every vignette here. I liked the ladies in question, with both Jessa Rhodes and especially Olivia Austin delivering a minimum daily requirement of big breasts action. But the stories presented are stupid and the laborious series of sex positions repetitious in the extreme.
Suck It Bitch (2010)
A bit much
Gazzman got a bit carried away with this five-hour video concentrating on blow jobs, featuring a femme cast (of 16 gals) hailing from Amerida, England and Europe.
The challenge is to provide a semblance of variety within such a limited range, and Mr. G succeeds only partially. He includes breast-sex to relieve the oral tedium a bit, and even has one scene where the a stud has the temerity to dry hump the lady from behind, but no intercourse is ever permitted.
The styling of the ladies is fine, making the most of their attractive figures even though deep-throating, slobbering, and the like is the main event. In the opening scene Aiden Starr is particularly awesome to look at, styled with pigtails and doing lots of preliminary tease before succumbing to the dick of John Strong.
He least familiar gal in the cast (for me) is Lindy Lane, whose big natural breasts are a treat. The studs seem disinterested throughout, their job merely to present erect cocks (generally pointing skyward) and wait for the girl to induce a money shot. Final scene on the second disk changes gears to have Euro talent Denise K and Felicia Brittom get Olivier Sanchez off.
Cheating Housewives 5 (2007)
Laudable casting, lousy video
No director is credited with this junker from Smash Pictures, in a series earlier helmed by Mike Metropolis. IMDb credits it to actor Mike Hawk but the results are poor enough to merit NO credit.
I was pleased, however, to see some imagination in casting of the femmes, not one of whom is the usual no-brainer choice for a MILF role. Breast in show goes to veteran actress Friday, styled here as a blonde, who has sex on a stairway with Rico Strong (IR action), stupidly cast as a guy going door to door to raise money for underprivileged children.
Mark Wood gets to hump two of the beauties: another IR scene starring Black actress Monique and then a return to service the one and only Nikita Denise.
Lots of anal action is included, notably with the very love Mae Victoria (an underutilized Adult performer who always reminded me of Sherilynn Fenn) and an overly made-up Brenda James.
Sex Crazed Shemales 12 (2010)
Generic TS porn
Advertised as 100% Brazilian this odd assemblage of transsexual footage bears a Pumpkin Media logo on the package, but comes from U.S. based Metropolis Entertainment.
It has just 3 scenes, the first of which is unusual in that the cis-female does the humping. She's a blonde teamed with a buxom, big-dicked trans-female and the usual local stud. The blonde puts on a strap-on dildo with which she humps the TS lady, and both girls do some pegging on the guy. I suppose for sheer kinkiness this makes the otherwise yawner of a video worth sitting through.
One of 3rd Degree's filler compilation videos, this one pits Alektra Blue against Amy Ried, not really, but merely alternately video clips starring each of the two for the viewer supposedly to decide who he likes best. A pointless exercise in a pointless DVD.
The sameness of the footage is the chief drawback here, suitable only for the most diehard fans of the gals to sit through. Courtney Cummz and Nikki Benz briefly join Alektra for threesomes, while Amy has to go it alone with a series of he usual studs like Pat Myne.
My copy is headed for its logical conclusion, the "CD/DVD destroyer" slot on my Amazon shredder machine.
Asia Noir 2 (2003)
An exercise in style
The late David Aaron Clark is one of porn's avant-garde directors, mixing pretension with gonzo sex. This second volume of his worth-seeing "Asia Noir" series both baffled and bored me, thanks to his cryptic indulgences in style for its own stake.
Lucy Lee is impressive as the title "asianatrix", often clad in white wig, white costume and high white boots as she deals with female sex slaves and an assortment of mainly wooden (in performance) Black studs. IR sex is the name of Clark's game, and Caucasians need not show up at his casting calls.
So we have a series of striking looking and less familiar (I kept thinking a star like Mia Smiles would show up but Clark prefers to cast Asian actresses who resemble her rather than contracting the real Mia) Asian-American femmes doing all sorts of gonzo sex. The constant visual factor is looming closeups that magnify big black cocks, even making the member of Mr. Marcus (Clark's favorite actor) look as large as Mandingo's.
One scene featuring Marcus has a female sex slave suddenly disappearing, evoking a reaction shot of surprise from the studs and even a cutaway shot of a beautiful parrot also surprised by the seeming supernatural intervention. Clark's use of the parrot is typical of his introducing unexplained and oddball elements into his vaguely Asian stagings, influenced perhaps by watching too many classic Japanese movies back in the day (something I plead guilty to as well).
Fetish is at the core of his work, with Chai Sun in Red Cross nurse costume subjected to strong sex, and famously nippled Bamboo powerful as a sex slave in the finale featuring Lee and Marcus. The BTS short subject on the DVD makes fun of the oh-so-serious feature, right down to mocking the end of the opening vignette in which a particularly long-dicked bloke named "Kohl Mynah" cast opposite solid performer Sledge Hammer is unable to deliver his money shot on cue, making for endless vamping, mouth at the ready, by a busty sex slave in a latex version of a nun's habit, played by Jay Lodeeva.
Tails of Perversity 8 (2001)
Yet again, a good cast wasted
Almost by definition the ongoing gonzo craze in porn (which has been going on for at least 20 years by now) tends to waste quality actors and actresses, picking up a check doing sex work far below what their talent should command in terms of roles. (It's even worse now with so many internet sites grinding out "scenes" by the thousand, and able to pay for the top players.)
So an itinerant pornographer name of Robert Madison, who appears briefly as part of the punchline of the final vignette of the video, slaps together gonzo sex scenes that are merely high-energy generic sex, ably executed by a fine cast.
In a tight top, short shorts and stumbling along on hooker high heels, Brianna Banks is visually impressive in the dumb opening segment titled "You Can Cum but You Can't hide". It makes no sense but has her sort of fleeing from location to location merely to have a threesome with Justine Romee and big-dicked Joel Lawrence. Madison spices it up with choking, slapping and domination, but it's still random sex.
"A Decent Proposal" is an inappropriate title for the next vignette, merely Euro beauty Sophie Evans subjected to manhandling by Toni Ribas and Lee Stone.
"8 Years 8 Noodles" is a pretentious porno version of a one-act play, acted in heightened manner by the porn performers as if director Madison were suddenly trying to make a serious point. It's a dinner party in which Voodoo and his wife (not Nicole Sheridan for a change) Ginger Paige extol the thrills of their work as Adult Cinema performers, contrasting with the unhappy marriage of Mia Smiles and her neglectful workaholic hubby Chris Cannon.
Other scenes are silly, ending with a shaggy-dog routine in which busty Taylor St. Claire plays a damsel in distress who calls the cops during a home invasion, only to have a threesome with those cops (Billy Glide and Dillon Day) leading to a very cornball final twist. For pretentious titles, Madison should have worked on that classic "Route 66" tv series rather than porn, christening this finale "The Gluepot and the Heat".
My Girlfriend's Mother 9 (2015)
Great story twist and performances
Nica Noelle's influence is felt in a very positive way in the ninth volume of this hit Sweet Sinner series she created for the label before leaving 7 years ago. Her recorded intro "real sex, real orgasms" is still heard at the beginning of each video, and James Avalon directed her script this time around.
It concerns the mother/daughter team of India Summer and Jodi Taylor, latter conceived as a self-centered kid who would rather study all the time than play with her boyfriend Tyler Nixon. As always, the prospect of Tyler hooking up with MILF India is a foregone conclusion, but Nica's clever script provides a wonderful twist for the final reels that results in most satisfying finale sex action as well as tying up loose ends in the story.
Before that climactic event, we see India humping her own boyfriend Danny Mountain, and delightfully cute Zoey Monroe nearly stealing the picture as Tyler's sister, humping their mother's boss Steven St. Croix (adding yet another intergenerational hook-up to the mix).
Frustrated Tyler gets off with voluptuous Valentina Nappi, an escort he finds on the internet. Casting is a plus here, as other than the older generation (India, Steven) we get to see some fresher faces than usual.
Only drawback to the film's success is the use of corny library music heard at least a hundred times in other recent videos.