Once just a shy, demure, unassuming teenager, Carrie White was doused with pig's blood on one fateful day and suddenly emerged as (drum roll please) Supppperrrrrr Carrrrriiiiieeeee. By gently slithering her arms, looking constipated and occasionally twitching to let you that she means business, SuperCarrie quickly lays waste to all of the "bad" guys with sadistic glee while also showing her soft side by using her magical abilities to levitate squeaky-voiced gym teachers and knocked-up teenage Jezebels to safety. Incredible! To one up her competition in the super heroes sweepstakes, Carrie also manages to lift up and fly right out of the gym... and she doesn't even need spandex and a cape to do it. Impressive! Carrie's other super powers appear to be psychic abilities to anticipate what everyone is going to do before they do it and x-ray vision so she can see the gender of a newly-fertilized egg inside your belly before you even have a chance to say "Hey, wasn't I supposed to have my period LAST week?" Amazing! If that's not enough, SuperCarrie also doesn't let anything get her down... not even death itself! She may seem out of commission after pelting herself with a thousand and one smooth pebbles and then crushing her entire body underneath a house, but don't be fooled. You'll find investing your hard-earned money on things like embalming, caskets and grave markers to be a waste when SuperCarrie miraculously springs back to life, cracks her CGI tombstone (because - you know - real tombstones or even plaster ones painted to look like real tombstones are just way too hard to crack so they must be made out of cartoon) and then causes a metal guitar riff to sound out from nowhere.
Professor Xavier, there's someone I'd like you to meet...
Professor Xavier, there's someone I'd like you to meet...