How in the hell do you mess up a parody of "Twilight"? The "Twilight" movies are so terrible that all you have to do to parody them successfully is slightly exaggerate the already annoying and ridiculous melodrama inherent in the series. I mean... for f***s sake! A random kid on YOUTUBE has done it successfully, and he's done it more successfully than this studio approved movie WITH NO BUDGET! But, surprise, surprise; the geniuses who brought us "Date Movie", "Epic Movie", "Meet the Spartans", and "Disaster Movie" have once again failed to grasp even the basic elements of comedy in this piece of s***. It's like they actively TRIED to write the movie so that it wouldn't be funny at all.
The... film... loosely follows the story of the first two "Twilight" movies. To their credit, it's clear that they actually sat through the movies and were attempting to parody some parts of the film. I recognized scenes from New Moon, like Bella being followed by a ghost of Edward on a motorcycle, and the "staring out the window" scene passing from month to month, but they failed to do anything that was actually funny with it. Rather than come up with some clever jokes, or funny stuff for Edward to say while he's chasing Bella on the motorcycle, he just keeps falling down. That's not funny. There was a joke with a guy in a wheelchair where he talks about how he can't feel anything from his waist down, and feels the need to emphasize that his genitals are down there. That's not funny. It WOULD'VE been funny if it was clever innuendo, but they have to beat you over the head with the joke.
There are three big problems with the humor of this movie.
The first is pratfalls. There are a ton of body injury jokes in this movie. And none of them work. Part of that it is because they use it too often, but the other part of that is that they don't do anything clever or interesting with the injury jokes. People are thrown into walls. People trip and fall. A guy gets thrown into a piano. But the actors don't do anything with it. There are no jokes written for the fall. They just expect us to laugh because someone fell down. It's not just funny because someone falls. You need character reaction, you need a set- up, you need a d*** joke!
The second problem is reference. This is the same problem the more recent episodes of "Family Guy" have. These guys throw in a reference to "Jersey Shore" here, a reference to Tiger Woods there, but there's no actual joke. Again, they just expect us to laugh because it's there. "Hey, I recognize 'Jersey Shore'! That's funny!" NO IT'S NOT! IT'S NOT FUNNY! YOU NEED TO DO SOMETHING WITH THE REFERENCE TO MAKE IT FUNNY! YOU CAN'T JUST SAY THE NAME OF A TV SHOW OR GIVE A POP CULTURE REFERENCE AND EXPECT US TO THINK IT'S FUNNY JUST BECAUSE WE RECOGNIZE IT! YOU HAVE TO WRITE A JOKE TO GO WITH IT!!!
The third problem is juvenile humor. Does just hearing the word "penis" make anyone laugh over the age of 15? They have a lot of jokes in here I might have found funny when I was 10, but they're not funny to more mature people. Heck, even most of the kids in the audience weren't laughing at it, because they probably saw some of their classmates doing it better on Youtube!
OVERALL
This movie is terrible. When there are jokes, they don't work. Most of the "jokes" are just references or pratfalls, and when they actually find something that has the potential to be funny, they dwell on it so long that it just gets tedious. I saw this movie the same way I saw "New Moon": because it was a slow night at the drive-in where I work... and I gotta say, I'm glad I've never seen any of their films before, and I don't intend to watch another.
1/10 - I'm not recommending this to anyone. It's worse than "Twilight". At least the makers of "Twilight" put SOME effort into it to make it entertaining for the fans.
The... film... loosely follows the story of the first two "Twilight" movies. To their credit, it's clear that they actually sat through the movies and were attempting to parody some parts of the film. I recognized scenes from New Moon, like Bella being followed by a ghost of Edward on a motorcycle, and the "staring out the window" scene passing from month to month, but they failed to do anything that was actually funny with it. Rather than come up with some clever jokes, or funny stuff for Edward to say while he's chasing Bella on the motorcycle, he just keeps falling down. That's not funny. There was a joke with a guy in a wheelchair where he talks about how he can't feel anything from his waist down, and feels the need to emphasize that his genitals are down there. That's not funny. It WOULD'VE been funny if it was clever innuendo, but they have to beat you over the head with the joke.
There are three big problems with the humor of this movie.
The first is pratfalls. There are a ton of body injury jokes in this movie. And none of them work. Part of that it is because they use it too often, but the other part of that is that they don't do anything clever or interesting with the injury jokes. People are thrown into walls. People trip and fall. A guy gets thrown into a piano. But the actors don't do anything with it. There are no jokes written for the fall. They just expect us to laugh because someone fell down. It's not just funny because someone falls. You need character reaction, you need a set- up, you need a d*** joke!
The second problem is reference. This is the same problem the more recent episodes of "Family Guy" have. These guys throw in a reference to "Jersey Shore" here, a reference to Tiger Woods there, but there's no actual joke. Again, they just expect us to laugh because it's there. "Hey, I recognize 'Jersey Shore'! That's funny!" NO IT'S NOT! IT'S NOT FUNNY! YOU NEED TO DO SOMETHING WITH THE REFERENCE TO MAKE IT FUNNY! YOU CAN'T JUST SAY THE NAME OF A TV SHOW OR GIVE A POP CULTURE REFERENCE AND EXPECT US TO THINK IT'S FUNNY JUST BECAUSE WE RECOGNIZE IT! YOU HAVE TO WRITE A JOKE TO GO WITH IT!!!
The third problem is juvenile humor. Does just hearing the word "penis" make anyone laugh over the age of 15? They have a lot of jokes in here I might have found funny when I was 10, but they're not funny to more mature people. Heck, even most of the kids in the audience weren't laughing at it, because they probably saw some of their classmates doing it better on Youtube!
OVERALL
This movie is terrible. When there are jokes, they don't work. Most of the "jokes" are just references or pratfalls, and when they actually find something that has the potential to be funny, they dwell on it so long that it just gets tedious. I saw this movie the same way I saw "New Moon": because it was a slow night at the drive-in where I work... and I gotta say, I'm glad I've never seen any of their films before, and I don't intend to watch another.
1/10 - I'm not recommending this to anyone. It's worse than "Twilight". At least the makers of "Twilight" put SOME effort into it to make it entertaining for the fans.