Seemingly inspired by the Frank Zappa song "Bwana Dik," with its memorable line "My dick is a monster," 2008's "One Eyed Monster" (the lack of a hyphen is annoying) tells a story that must be a first in the history of cinema. In the film, 10 people go to the wintry mountains of northern California to make an adult film, with porn legends Ron Jeremy and Veronica Hart serving as consultants. Problems arise when an alien force possesses Ron and painlessly makes off with his tubesteak, leaving the human tripod emasculated and quite dead. And then matters get even worse, as the alien-possessed wiener starts to attack and slay every one of the cast and crew! Anyway, as you may have gathered, this is probably not the best movie to sit down to watch with Aunt Petunia. Truth to tell, though, the picture looks a lot better than you may expect, its only cheapjack effect being Ron's dismembered member itself. If you were anticipating Ray Harryhausen-like FX as regards this murderous appendage, forget it; what little we see of the darn thing looks like a wriggling dildo, at best. Still, many of the picture's lines are pretty funny, the acting is surprisingly good, and there is even a sweet scene in which Ron and Veronica reflect on getting older and not so spry that is actually kinda touching. Russ Meyer stalwart Charles Napier almost steals this film, especially in the scene in which he tells of his experiences in Nam (practically channeling Robert Shaw in "Jaws"); that is, until Veronica walks away with the picture by demonstrating her superpower in the finale, her Kegel abilities doing for vaginal canals what Xenia Onatopp did for thighs! All in all, painless, goofy fun; like "Night of the Living Dead," but with a killer schlong instead of zombies. Oh...this Liberation DVD looks just fine, and comes loaded with more extras than you could shake a (9 3/4") stick at!
Review of One-Eyed Monster
