7/10
For A Good Time Call … Victor Van Helsing
26 April 2009
Warning: Spoilers
Dexter Ward is charged with finding a rare tome, The Book Of Ulthar. Marissa Orlok receives a telegram informing her she must travel to a remote castle in Transylvania to attend her father's funeral. Both events seem connected, so Dexter and Marissa travel together, but a strange and terrifying destiny awaits them …

If you've never heard of him, Wynorski is the talented auteur behind dozens of low-budget horror, comedy and sexploitation B-movies, and a genuinely fine filmmaker who sets out to entertain with everything he does. This is my favourite of his many films, a hilarious fast-moving pastiche of vampire movies in specific but horror cinema in general which affectionately spoofs everything from Night Of The Living Dead to Hellraiser. It also pokes fun at itself, with some wonderful moments like the Van Helsing dream sequence ("Holy Water - don't leave home without it !") and the mad plot is an amazingly clever hotch-potch of Son Of Frankenstein, Nosferatu, The Fall Of The House Of Usher and The Dunwich Horror, to name but a few. Wynorski ensures that things keep hopping along so that the next sight gag, funny line or creepy moment is never far away, and the cast all get into the spirit of it. Altman does some funny schtick, Barbie-doll Copley is great eye-candy and Vaughn is a good sport as the caped fiend, but it's really the support players who win the day. Mask is an absolute hoot as the vampire-slayer, Scrimm has lots of fun spoofing his Tall Man / Phantasm character as the ominous butler, Franken does a great spin on the Lionel Atwill / Kenneth Mars village constable, and Gabrielle (who is billed with a "?" for some reason) is a deliciously buxom vampire bride. There is also a fabulous thumping dumb-dumb piano score by Chuck Cirino, which sets the comic-spooky atmosphere perfectly and underscores all the best moments with little zingers. Brilliantly written by Wynorski and R.J. Robertson (who plays Hans Phull the barkeep) and cheesily produced by Roger Corman's Concorde Pictures, this is a must-see for all horror fans with a sense of humour and anyone else who just needs some cheering up. And remember if you're taking part in a lynch mob tonight, "I say we give up, forget everything and go home - no, wait a minute, I say we give up, forget everything, but not go home - no, we should forget everything, go home, but never give up !". Fabulous.
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