"History is the lie that everyone agrees upon." - Goethe
Not to go all "Joe College" on you all (especially since I never went), but the preceding quote is, in a nutshell, the plot line of THE WASHINGTONIANS, adapted from a Bentley Little short story by Richard Chizmar and star Jonathan Schaech, and directed by THE CHANGELING'S very own Peter Medak.
Schaech plays Mike Franks, a guy who has just inherited a house from a dead relative, and is in the process of moving in with his family. The house is located near the place where George Washington and our Founding Fathers hammered out the terms and hashed out the ideas and ideals that basically became what is now our government (though what would they make of it if they could see it now?)
When his daughter accidentally knocks over a portrait of Old George in the spooky-looking cellar of the house, Mike makes a jaw-dropping discovery: tucked into a corner of the frame behind the canvas, he finds a strange-looking fork and a roll of parchment. When he reads it, he can't believe what's inside - sage advice for skinning and eating YOUR CHILDREN, and using the bones to fashion tools and eating utensils!
At first he figures it's some kind of sick joke, but that's only until some very scary-looking dudes in Colonial dress come banging at the front door in the dead of night, demanding the letter...or else!
It's soon after that encounter that Mike converses with a renowned historian (Saul Rubinek), who not only verifies the authenticity of the found artifacts, but begins to tell him the REAL story of the "father of our country"...and man, it ain't pretty! It seems that during that long winter at Valley Forge, when the cold ran high and the supplies ran low, our dear General Washington was starring in his own version of RAVENOUS. And once he developed a taste for human flesh...well, it got to be like Lay's Potato Chips. BETCHA CAN'T EAT JUST ONE!!!
And now the modern-day descendants of our cannibalistic Congress, who call themselves "The Washingtonians", have continued that tradition. Can Mike stop them or expose them to the world for what they really are, before he and his family become 'a la carte' entrées?
I really appreciated the ideas behind this story, and love the fact that it's told as a pitch-black horror comedy. The only two beefs I have with it are that RAVENOUS told the story better, and whatever brownie points the writers and director Medak score are completely canceled out by a beyond-corny punchline at the end.
At least it does make you wonder about it...We know all about the version of American history we learned in school. But do we really know EVERYTHING that happened? Or is it just a 'revised' version of the truth?
I wish I could give it a stronger recommendation, but once again, I'm on the fence. It's not an MOH "WOW!" episode, but it's entertaining enough that you might not want to throw shoes at your TV set when it's over.
Not to go all "Joe College" on you all (especially since I never went), but the preceding quote is, in a nutshell, the plot line of THE WASHINGTONIANS, adapted from a Bentley Little short story by Richard Chizmar and star Jonathan Schaech, and directed by THE CHANGELING'S very own Peter Medak.
Schaech plays Mike Franks, a guy who has just inherited a house from a dead relative, and is in the process of moving in with his family. The house is located near the place where George Washington and our Founding Fathers hammered out the terms and hashed out the ideas and ideals that basically became what is now our government (though what would they make of it if they could see it now?)
When his daughter accidentally knocks over a portrait of Old George in the spooky-looking cellar of the house, Mike makes a jaw-dropping discovery: tucked into a corner of the frame behind the canvas, he finds a strange-looking fork and a roll of parchment. When he reads it, he can't believe what's inside - sage advice for skinning and eating YOUR CHILDREN, and using the bones to fashion tools and eating utensils!
At first he figures it's some kind of sick joke, but that's only until some very scary-looking dudes in Colonial dress come banging at the front door in the dead of night, demanding the letter...or else!
It's soon after that encounter that Mike converses with a renowned historian (Saul Rubinek), who not only verifies the authenticity of the found artifacts, but begins to tell him the REAL story of the "father of our country"...and man, it ain't pretty! It seems that during that long winter at Valley Forge, when the cold ran high and the supplies ran low, our dear General Washington was starring in his own version of RAVENOUS. And once he developed a taste for human flesh...well, it got to be like Lay's Potato Chips. BETCHA CAN'T EAT JUST ONE!!!
And now the modern-day descendants of our cannibalistic Congress, who call themselves "The Washingtonians", have continued that tradition. Can Mike stop them or expose them to the world for what they really are, before he and his family become 'a la carte' entrées?
I really appreciated the ideas behind this story, and love the fact that it's told as a pitch-black horror comedy. The only two beefs I have with it are that RAVENOUS told the story better, and whatever brownie points the writers and director Medak score are completely canceled out by a beyond-corny punchline at the end.
At least it does make you wonder about it...We know all about the version of American history we learned in school. But do we really know EVERYTHING that happened? Or is it just a 'revised' version of the truth?
I wish I could give it a stronger recommendation, but once again, I'm on the fence. It's not an MOH "WOW!" episode, but it's entertaining enough that you might not want to throw shoes at your TV set when it's over.