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Masters of Horror
S2.E12
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IMDbPro

The Washingtonians

  • Episode aired Jan 26, 2007
  • TV-MATV-MA
  • 57m
IMDb RATING
5.5/10
2K
YOUR RATING
The Washingtonians (2007)
Horror
A family man unearths an old letter, claiming that historical figure George Washington was a cannibal, and that a colonial-era reenactment group may be upholding that way of life.A family man unearths an old letter, claiming that historical figure George Washington was a cannibal, and that a colonial-era reenactment group may be upholding that way of life.A family man unearths an old letter, claiming that historical figure George Washington was a cannibal, and that a colonial-era reenactment group may be upholding that way of life.
IMDb RATING
5.5/10
2K
YOUR RATING
    • Peter Medak
  • Writers
    • Mick Garris
    • Richard Chizmar(teleplay)
    • Johnathon Schaech(teleplay)
  • Stars
    • Caroline Carter
    • Julia Tortolano
    • Venus Terzo
    • Peter Medak
  • Writers
    • Mick Garris
    • Richard Chizmar(teleplay)
    • Johnathon Schaech(teleplay)
  • Stars
    • Caroline Carter
    • Julia Tortolano
    • Venus Terzo
  • See production, box office & company info
    • 43User reviews
    • 14Critic reviews
  • See production, box office & company info
  • See more at IMDbPro
  • Photos8

    Johnathon Schaech and Myron Natwick in Masters of Horror (2005)
    Duncan Fraser in Masters of Horror (2005)
    Julia Tortolano in Masters of Horror (2005)
    Masters of Horror (2005)
    Johnathon Schaech, Venus Terzo, and Julia Tortolano in Masters of Horror (2005)
    Still from "Masters of Horror"
    Johnathon Schaech and Julia Tortolano in Masters of Horror (2005)

    Top cast

    Edit
    Caroline Carter
    • Hitch Hiker
    Julia Tortolano
    • Amy Franks
    Venus Terzo
    Venus Terzo
    • Pam Franks
    Johnathon Schaech
    Johnathon Schaech
    • Mike Franks
    Myron Natwick
    Myron Natwick
    • Samuel Madison III
    Esme Lambert
    • Nancy Arnold
    Abraham Jedidiah
    • Jared Barkish
    Patrick Keating
    Patrick Keating
    • Minister
    Wendy Donaldson
    • Chubby Waitress
    Nathan Clark
    • Deputy #1
    Daniel Cudmore
    Daniel Cudmore
    • Deputy #2
    Brian Jensen
    • George Washington
    Joel Wirkkunen
    • Washingtonian #1
    Chris Kalhoon
    Chris Kalhoon
    • Washingtonian #2
    Ian Carter
    Ian Carter
    • Washingtonian #3
    Saul Rubinek
    Saul Rubinek
    • Professor Harkinson
    Richard Stroh
    Richard Stroh
    • Van Washingtonian #1
    Gardiner Millar
    Gardiner Millar
    • Van Washingtonian #2
    • (as Gardiner Miller)
      • Peter Medak
    • Writers
      • Mick Garris
      • Richard Chizmar(teleplay)
      • Johnathon Schaech(teleplay)
    • All cast & crew
    • Production, box office & more at IMDbPro

    Storyline

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    Did you know

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    • Trivia
      Based on a short story by author Bentley Little.
    • Connections
      Referenced in Mick Garris on the Changeling (2018)
    • Soundtracks
      I'm A Nut
      (uncredited)

      Author unknown

      Performed by Venus Terzo and Julia Tortolano

    User reviews43

    Review
    Review
    Featured review
    7/10
    A Really Great Idea... Wish Someone Else Had Made It
    After the death of his aunt, a young man moves into her former home. In the basement he discovers a secret letter and a fork made of bone. Oh my! President Washington ate small children and made flatware from their femur bones! And now a secret society (the Washingtonians) will stop at nothing to retrieve this dangerous letter.

    The director of this unusual tale is Peter Medak (known for "Species 2" and "The Changeling") based on a story by up-and-coming horror writer Bentley Little (who has been known as a Stephen King apprentice and a follower of Dean Koontz, neither title I'd wish to be known for). While the story is clearly a good one, the film based upon it is not what I was hoping for.

    I like cannibals in movies ("Ravenous", "Cannibal! the Musical") and I like them more when they are George Washington or some other colonial bloke. And yes, there is some flesh-eating in this film (though not as much as I expected). And that's good. And the plot was good. And the acting was good... so where's the problem? Here's the problem: the people who adapted this for the screen (and I rest the blame firmly on Medak's shoulders) did not decide if they wanted a horror film or a comedy. Now, you can balance the two. Henenlotter and Gordon do this very well. Medak obviously can't. The film is mostly horror, but every so often we get a glimpse that this is supposed to be "dark comedy"... yet it's not funny. It just comes across as cheesy. The very last scene (which you know I can't reveal) is the solid proof that Medak doesn't know humor or how to use it. Not funny, not clever.

    And that's my biggest concern, because somebody else would have made it straight horror (Argento, for example, would have upped the cannibalism) or a better blend (Gordon, Henenlotter -- who, by the way, needs his own "Masters of Horror" episode). This could have been the key episode of the season (as many previews made it out to be).

    A tip of the hat goes to the writer for one thing, though: the introduction of a character who is not clearly on one side or the other (is he with or against the cannibals?). I kept second-guessing, whereas most of the time plots and motives are so predictable. So if they did one thing right, it was the writing of this character (it's a history professor, in case you were curious). I also liked the undercurrent theme that the government makes its own history, because this is so true. I just wish they didn't use such an annoying radio announcer to express that theme.

    I have my bones to pick with this episode, but I still want you to see it. An idea this creative and well-thought out deserves to be seen, even if the people who optioned it clearly don't know their anuses from a hole in the ground. Someday someone will remake this after we've long forgotten Peter Medak and the world will be right again.
    helpful•8
    8
    • gavin6942
    • Feb 15, 2007

    Details

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    • Release date
      • January 26, 2007 (United States)
      • United States
      • Canada
      • English
    • Production companies
      • Starz
      • Nice Guy Productions
      • Industry Entertainment
    • See more company credits at IMDbPro

    Technical specs

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    • 57 minutes
      • Color

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