The only reason I went to see this movie, was because I knew it was going to be bad. That's obviously not a good reason, but in retrospect, some really bad movies are funny when thought about later. I've had chuckles about how bad Epic Movie was, but this....this was different. Maybe it was the fact that half the audience was laughing at these awful jokes, or the fact that this stupid monstrosity was even green lighted, but after this ended I felt drained of my life. No movie has ever made me feel this way.
"Meet the Spartans" has the sparse running time of 65 minutes (not counting the lengthy end credits), which was a blessing to the audience. The jokes all feel like ones that 9 year old boys would find hysterical, where everyone else would just hate them. Other than spoof jokes, every other joke is one involving pain. There were dozens of crotch hits and back breaks. There are also many gross out, vomit, sneezing, and boil bursting jokes. There was one joke that had me mildly chuckling, but then they killed the joke by over explaining it. It didn't need to be explained, a monkey could understand it. Repetitiveness was the only word that comes to mind when watching this. King Leonidas knocks a messenger in the hole, then his two men. Okay, not funny, but at least it's over....right? Nope. Then he knocks Sanjaya, Brittany Spears, Kevin Federline, The American Idol judges and Ryan Seacrest in the hole. After the credits seem to be over, deleted scenes are shown simply to make the movie more than 70 minutes. During the deleted scenes, Dane Cook, George W. Bush, Tom Cruise, and Ellen Degeneres are also knocked in the hole. The joke is done 10 times over.
The two extremely untalented writers of this mess want to include every movie possible, and mention every celebrity they can, and include any show they can cram in. There are 3 instances of celebrity panels judging the Spartans in this, and it's not like it was a running joke either. It was just lack of ideas. Much of the celebrity humor was just the celebrities pointing out their character traits. Paris Hilton, who is in a few scenes, but ultimately disappears with no point, talks about her jail time. Brittany Spears acts crazy. Lindsey Lohan gets out of rehab. Tyra Banks shows her cellulite. And every other celebrity that is made fun of, has the exact same role. Also, there is a joke in poor taste. When Leonidas is going to be killed by a talking penguin, it says, "Say hi to Anna Nicole Smith for me." These idiot writers are stooping as low as to make fun of people being dead? It's terrible. References to TV were thrown around, usually making no sense and totally pointless. Ugly Betty is the oracle. Just plain stupid. The movies were also thrown about all over so people in the audience could say, "Duh, I know what they're referencing." To give away a mild spoiler and one of the dumbest scenes in the movie, Carmen Electra's character turns into Spiderman and she beats up the Sandman, who is then pooped on by a cat. It made no sense why it was thrown in here. That's how I felt about pretty much every part of this movie though.
Now, back to myself. When the movie ended after just over an hour, I had a headache, and wondered how dumb some people truly are, because nobody of any intelligence could've thought this was hilarious. But of course this is my opinion, and warning, don't see this movie! It will cause depression.
My rating: Possibly worst movie I've ever seen. 80 mins. PG-13 for language, sexual and crude humor.
"Meet the Spartans" has the sparse running time of 65 minutes (not counting the lengthy end credits), which was a blessing to the audience. The jokes all feel like ones that 9 year old boys would find hysterical, where everyone else would just hate them. Other than spoof jokes, every other joke is one involving pain. There were dozens of crotch hits and back breaks. There are also many gross out, vomit, sneezing, and boil bursting jokes. There was one joke that had me mildly chuckling, but then they killed the joke by over explaining it. It didn't need to be explained, a monkey could understand it. Repetitiveness was the only word that comes to mind when watching this. King Leonidas knocks a messenger in the hole, then his two men. Okay, not funny, but at least it's over....right? Nope. Then he knocks Sanjaya, Brittany Spears, Kevin Federline, The American Idol judges and Ryan Seacrest in the hole. After the credits seem to be over, deleted scenes are shown simply to make the movie more than 70 minutes. During the deleted scenes, Dane Cook, George W. Bush, Tom Cruise, and Ellen Degeneres are also knocked in the hole. The joke is done 10 times over.
The two extremely untalented writers of this mess want to include every movie possible, and mention every celebrity they can, and include any show they can cram in. There are 3 instances of celebrity panels judging the Spartans in this, and it's not like it was a running joke either. It was just lack of ideas. Much of the celebrity humor was just the celebrities pointing out their character traits. Paris Hilton, who is in a few scenes, but ultimately disappears with no point, talks about her jail time. Brittany Spears acts crazy. Lindsey Lohan gets out of rehab. Tyra Banks shows her cellulite. And every other celebrity that is made fun of, has the exact same role. Also, there is a joke in poor taste. When Leonidas is going to be killed by a talking penguin, it says, "Say hi to Anna Nicole Smith for me." These idiot writers are stooping as low as to make fun of people being dead? It's terrible. References to TV were thrown around, usually making no sense and totally pointless. Ugly Betty is the oracle. Just plain stupid. The movies were also thrown about all over so people in the audience could say, "Duh, I know what they're referencing." To give away a mild spoiler and one of the dumbest scenes in the movie, Carmen Electra's character turns into Spiderman and she beats up the Sandman, who is then pooped on by a cat. It made no sense why it was thrown in here. That's how I felt about pretty much every part of this movie though.
Now, back to myself. When the movie ended after just over an hour, I had a headache, and wondered how dumb some people truly are, because nobody of any intelligence could've thought this was hilarious. But of course this is my opinion, and warning, don't see this movie! It will cause depression.
My rating: Possibly worst movie I've ever seen. 80 mins. PG-13 for language, sexual and crude humor.