Review of Seabiscuit

Seabiscuit (2003)
1/10
Worst movie ever blablabla
22 September 2003
I just saw Seabiscuit at a preview show in Germany. At the end of the movie, people were clapping. But - patriots beware - it was highly ironical. You cannot image how my friends and I burst out in laughter during various stages. Really, this is a movie that it so bad that you cannot do anything else than laugh. Did the filmmakers take this movie seriously? I couldn't.

If you like horses or jockeys, or if you are a true American patriot, this movie is for you. In almost every other case, avoid it at any costs.

The 9-11 references are obvious. I don't have a problem with that, but the dull dialogues are extremely clichéd. They even reminded me of 'Pearl Harbour', that other movie I loved so much. (warning: irony). It seems obvious that a Hollywood movie such as this doesn't want to provoke (it's about horses, you know). However, the references to the American dream and christianity (the coin scene at the end) are so damn ridiculous and foreseeable. In several scenes, Jeff Bridges even looks like king George W. Bush the great master himself. The movie tries so hard to have depth, and it fails miserably. The movie definitely is destined at Bush-followers, but in this context, the history scenes that show the effects of the Great Depression and which praise the New Deal are out of place. If Bush, Cheney & co had lived during the FDR presidency, they would have attacked the New Deal as 'socialist policies' without a doubt. The pseudo-intellectual references to British and American literature are a desperate try to put some credibility in a story that is, over all, BORING. And it is way too long. I wished at so many points of the film that just something happens: an UFO landing, Godzilla or something. JUST SOMETHING! After going out of the cinema, I have to admit that I had the urge to eat some horse sausage. This movie is a good example of the mindless mainstream stuff that is not for people who actually want to THINK about the society they live in but for those who want to feel good, especially for themselves. I understand that a lot of Americans need that feeling after 9-11. But in liberal and left-leaning parts of the US and in most foreign countries, this movie will make people laugh at the ignorant and naive Americans who still believe in the perfect stereotpyical American dream - or it will make people cry in disbelief. However, leaving 9-11 behind, this is a well-made movie - for horse lovers.
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