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jillsomeone
Reviews
Conan the Barbarian (1982)
Surprisingly good
I've never read the Robert E. Howard fantasy stories. I'd seen the original 1982 Conan the Barbarian film, but it's been may years and memories of it were faint.
I generally like fantasy and science fiction, having read many of the classics and enjoyed their movie adaptations no matter how far they strayed from the novels.
My partner and I watched the 2011 Conan the Barbarian reboot. We were completely unprepared for how awful that film was.
I was under the impression that the 1982 Conan the Barbarian was a schlocky 80's film. Regardless, my partner and I re-watched it the following evening. We were both completely taken aback at how good the film actually was (especially in comparison to the reboot).
Amazing cinematography. Dialogue delivered with appropriate gravitas. The soundtrack was absolutely incredible. Narration was consistent throughout the film.
Strong female lead! (Not just a hostage)
I literally could not look away, despite the odd cheesy moment - due to the delivery of the entire film.
If there's one good thing about the 2011 Conan reboot, it's that I am now a fan... of the 1982 original film... and might read one or two of Robert E Howard's books.
Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania (2023)
Khan!! uh, I mean, Kang?
Tired tropes stolen from far better original films - I felt like I was watching Wrath of Khan, John Carter, Star Wars and the Watchmen all at once.
I laughed aloud at the "ant society" explanation. Why only the ants experiencing thousands of years in a matter of minutes? It felt like the writers were stuck for a climax and that was the best they could come up with in a limited amount of time.
Kang's motivations were weak and undeveloped, his existence poorly explained. I get that they're setting the stage for a series of other (potentially just as silly) films featuring the multiverse, so it's unfortunate that they didn't delve into his origins beyond being pissed off at everything and wanting to take over the world.
On the plus side - I enjoyed seeing Michelle Pffiefer perform, despite the material she had to work with, and thought the daughter was reasonably portrayed. Inventing a quantum machine in a basement is a little far-fetched for any teen, but no less believeable just because a *girl* did it. It's actually refreshing to see female representation in this film - something many other reviewers dumped all over, as it doesn't fit the decades of gender steteotypes these movies have historically supported.
Logan (2017)
Ultra-violent, depressing
Nothing but bleak, one-note depressing scenes - punctuated by extreme violence.
I was immediately reminded of the film "Kick-ass" (which I just couldn't finish).
Too much goes unexplained, too little is done to make you care about what happens to the characters, and nothing is really done to set up the expectation/anticipation of the "next generation" mutants.
Yep, it's not your standard super-hero action flick - but this treatment doesn't make it any more watchable.
Spare yourself the agony and tune in to a medical video of someone's hip replacement surgery; all the blood, gore and violence - with a positive purpose.
Ghostbusters (2016)
I don't understand the hate
I enjoyed this film. I got the humour. I think the actresses are funny, and I enjoyed their performances. But then I also enjoyed The Heat and Spy.
Maybe a lot of the humour was intended for a female audience, which is why the movie was panned. It's certainly not the standard male-hero ghostbusters flick, and a different take on the genre - but no less entertaining. I've re-watched it several times now, and like it as much as the original films if not better than the originals.
AND after re-watching the originals they just seem dated in comparison.
I'd love to see a sequel done with as many of the same characters who would commit.
I'm Gonna Git You Sucka (1988)
One of my all time favorite films
I just re-watched my DVD of I'm Gonna Git You Sucka and it's still just as humorous in 2023 as it was when first released. I haven't seen most of the films parodied here, but the jokes stand alone - poking fun of black culture and hollywood films in general.
My favorite scenes have to be those with Ma Belle, playing it straight while wiping herself off after a stuntman kicks someone's ass. But great performances by all the classic actors.
Laugh out loud funny. Nothing like anything the Wayans have released before, and nothing nearly as funny since. If you haven't seen it -you're missing out.
Dr. Cabbie (2014)
Awful, misogynistic
Awful misogynistic jokes, ridiculous stereotypes, plot based in fantasy.
If the protagonist had re-written and passed all the medical exams, hospitals would be falling over themselves to hire him.
For instance, if the Bar association found out the female lawyer was involved with her client she'd have her license suspended.
The protagonist prescribes medicine without a license, and manages to stay in the country - I know actual doctors who had worse punishment. The prosecuting lawyer broke a bunch of courtroom rules and the judge did nothing. I'm guessing there was no research done whatsoever.
Every single white person is ignorant of Indian culture.
The fat girl jokes made me physically ill.
Too bad, really. Canadian comedy needs more representation, but not like this.
The Philadelphia Experiment (1984)
Still one of my favorite movies
I just re-watched this film in 2022. It's still one of my all-time favorite movies. Science fiction, but focused on the drama/experiences of the characters. I thought it was a unique idea, and the special effects were done well. The juxtaposition of scenes involving the professor in the two time periods was especially poignant.
None of this happened in the actual Philadelphia Experiment; the movie was based on some of the wilder conspiracy theories concocted years later - but that doesn't take away from the film as an enjoyable work of fiction.
Dr Pimple Popper: Raw Meat Mass (2022)
Raw Meat Mass
I understand that this episode is possibly a year or two old. But i wanted to point out that Brad with the growth on his leg should see a doctor about his diabetes.
With that amount of weight loss and his joint problems - he's probably got type 1 diabetes, and without insulin his body is consuming itself. Happened to a friend of mine before his diagnosis as an adult.
Reminiscence (2021)
familiar, yet creative
This movie started out like something I'd seen before - Blade Runner, Minority Report, Dark City. But progressed onto suspenseful path that held my attention - even as some plot twists were hard to follow, forcing me to pay even greater attention. Excellent performances, great cinematography, good use of the sci fi constructs... really better than I'd expected.
Not sure why people are crapping all over this film - although most of them seem to be heaping crticism on the director, possibly because this film was directed by a woman.
It's not a blockbuster, there are no explosions, no superheroes.... thank heavens.
Conan the Barbarian (2011)
Generic action flick
I've never read the Robert E. Howard fantasy stories. I'd seen the original 1982 Conan the Barbarian film, but it's been may years and memories of it were faint.
I generally like fantasy and science fiction, having read many of the classics and enjoyed their movie adaptations no matter how far they strayed from the novels.
So my partner and I tucked ourselves into a blanket and watched the 2011 Conan the Barbarian reboot. We were completely unprepared for how awful this film is.
First, everything is over the top. A battleground C-section (done without looking! As one other reviewer mentions). A kid who can take on a gang of thugs and return with their heads. A witch who likes to taste the blood of young women. A realistic skull-shaped mountain which crumbles during a finale which includes nonsensical earthquakes/explosions. The villain could have walked out of any stereotypical bad guy factory, and the female lead character served only as a stereotypical hostage/love interest.
Most of the dialogue - that sounded like it should carry some weight - was delivered as if the characters were having a casual conversation.
The cinematography was jittery and jumped from one action scene to the next. I can't really comment on the soundtrack, because it was either absent or did nothing to enhance the viewing experience.
The little narration there was at the beginning added nothing to the film, and I wonder why they bothered.
I caught myself staring at my phone and the clock many times - there just wasn't enough there to hold my attention.
I was under the impression that the 1982 Conan the Barbarian was a schlocky 80's film. Regardless, the partner and I watched that the following evening. We were both completely taken aback at how good THAT film was (especially in comparison to this one). Amazing cinematography. Dialogue delivered with appropriate gravitas. The soundtrack was absolutely incredible. Narration was consistent throughout the film. Strong female lead.
I literally could not look away, despite the odd cheesy moment - due to the delivery of the entire film.
If there's one good thing about the 2011 Conan reboot, it's that I am now a fan... of the 1982 original film... and might read one or two of Robert E Howard's books.
Infinite (2021)
Hot Mess of Infinity
Everything the other negative reviewers have said about the plot, action, dialogue, Wahlberg's delivery of his lines, casting, chemistry, character development, rehash of tropes, etc. Are bang on.
I soldiered on to the end to see just how bad it was going to get - time I will never get back.
Don't waste yours; or at least be prepared for a hot mess of a film.
Bohemian Rhapsody (2018)
A Fantasy Story about Freddie Mercury and Queen
I wanted to like this film. I consider myself to be a huge Queen fan. On the surface the movie LOOKED genuine; I had to keep reminding myself that these were only actors and not the actual band members - particularly "Brian May".
Other have complained about incorrect/jumbled timelines. But really - there wasn't a single scene in the film that portrayed an actual event as it happened, except maybe some of the live performances and Bohemian Rhapsody being considered too long for radio play.
Why go to all the trouble to recreate the mannerisms and appearances of historical figures, if you're just going to make it up as you go along?
Desperados (2020)
Material doesn't do the players justice
I was expecting to be disappointed - and my expectations were met.
I really felt like I was watching "The Ugly Truth". The "Jared" Character in this film even looks exactly like the "guy the female lead is trying to impress/date" in "The Ugly Truth".... but the 'Truth was a much funnier film.
The material in Desperados really wasn't up to snuff, and/or the delivery was just off. Only the "Sean" character seemed to have decent material and be able to deliver with the proper comedic timing. Which is an embarrassing thing to say about a movie with generous female cast.
American Assassin (2017)
Torture Porn
Take every cliché and plot twist from every action movie about terrorism and special intelligence units, mix thoroughly, add a stream of banal dialogue, and a generous heaping of gratuitous violence (torture porn, really) - and you have American Assassin.
I was having Remo Williams flashbacks while watching Assassin, and mentally inserting dialogue from that movie ("in, out, like a duck mating" and "what lesson number was dogs"), in place of what the characters were saying in this one.
If you're a fan of the original Remo Williams film (The Adventure Begins), go buy a copy and watch that instead. Your time and money would be better spent.