ten-often Reviews

Zookeeper (2011)

FAMILY MOVIE - you know, that thing everyone hates now

[20 April 2016]

Great family movie, fun without being stupid. Talking animals, adults and kids love that, and they are done well with voices we will recognize and enjoy. Yes, typical storyline boy meets girl, thinks it's the girl for him while the right girl is standing beside him all along etc., etc. Who cares? After over 100 years of movies, kinda hard to make stories we've never heard of before.

As for the family movie thing, yes, this generation of Americans seem to believe that any movie fun for a family to watch together cannot be a good movie unless it is made by Pixar or Disney. What narrow-minded adults we have all become,, and selfish, too, as if there is no room for anyone else's viewing pleasure other than our own. This would not be my top pick for a movie to watch on my own, but I found it amusing and would enjoy bringing the kids and adults in my family together with it.

The Veil (I) (2016)

A story is told in a horror flick, how refreshing

[8/10 · 12 February 2016]

Don't listen to the naysayers who think the only decent movie is a top-notch blockbuster world-wide smash hit.

Don't listen to those who say this isn't a "real horror/suspense movie." Some think real horror must be gobs of guts and blood. Some think it must keep you constantly on the edge of your seat while tearing up the armrests with your fingernails.

Nay nay I say. There is room for everything as long as it is done entertainingly.

This movie has a gripping story contrary to most horror flicks which simply flash panties while young girls run from monsters with stories that someone was abandoned, unloved, or otherwise wounded by society and now spends their deformed adulthood splicing up people (or it's a monster from an urban legend). Same stories, different colors of underwear.

Well, let me remove the nails from this cross and help you transcend to a new adventure beyond the veil of horror.

Lean back with your popcorn and soda, enjoy the story and mild supernatural mystery. You won't find fingernail tears in your armrests but you will enjoy watching the story unfold even if you don't get to see those gratuity flashes.

Watch it with friends and you may even find yourself discussing the possibilities of the spiritual theories posited within. Just for fun, of course.

Arena (2011 Video)

Excellent B movie

[6/10 · 31 December 2015]

If you want to pass some time watching a pretty good "b" flick about a man fighting an evil bigger than himself in a way only "b" movie heroes can do it, and a bad dude played by Samuel L Jackson in a way only Samuel L Jackson can slam it, with plenty of action, fighting and winner satisfaction, then this is the movie for your free time.

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Coriolanus (2011)

Brilliant Merging of Shakespeare and a modern wartime

[7/10 · 27 September 2015]

Hearing the poetic portrayal of medieval war laid over a stark portrayal of modern war was fascinating. Remove the trappings, costumes and swashbuckler weaponry and we are left with a story of modern oppression, elite privilege while warfare strikes both.

Do the lyrics move us the same as with medieval settings? Are the heroes, heroines and villains of the traditional play viewed with the same reactions?

I give it a 7 because it is a good movie, but one which appeals to limited audiences, which has nothing to do with intelligence but preferences. You must be at least neutral regarding anything Shakespeare to possibly enjoy this.

Gigli (2003)

Highly Under Rated

[8/10 · 24 September 2015]

I watched this movie tonight at Netflix to just finally find out how bad it was. This movie is great.

A quarter into it I'm thinking "Ok, just when is it going to be bad?" And in walks Christopher Walken. Alright, not bad yet.

The story kept me involved and all roles were acted so very well, from leading roles to Brian "the retared" and all others. Three quarters into it I'm trying to figure out when it will get bad and in walks Al Pacino who delivers big time.

I sincerely think the only reason everyone hated this movie is because they didn't like the fact that Jennifer Lopez was a lesbian.

Rhymes for Young Ghouls (2013)

Realistic portrayal of a reservation family intent on survival

[8/10 · 10 September 2015]

I've always been a fan of stories about Native American life. Doesn't mean all the stories I read or watch end up being good.

This is a good one. Also, as a citizen of the USA, it is a little odd to watch one regarding abuse and racism against Indians by the British via "Queen's Laws" in Canada instead of the USA, since most of the western world prefers to pretend only whites in the USA abused minorities.

But beyond a reminder of just how recently people were torturing and destroying the lives of a darker skinned people, this story goes into the family relationships and survival techniques in a world which offered few options for those things which keep us human.

The Devil's Rejects (2005)

Pathetic

[2/10 · 24 August 2015]

Corny camp mixed with a sorry excuse for pornography. If you like graphic sex scenes you may want to watch a movie which gives you an excuse for watching porn. Unfortunately, this isn't that kind of movie.

However, if you want to watch a movie which gives you a perfect excuse for watching violent, bloody, rape porn while pretending it is the story and writer/director you are getting off on, this is definitely for you. Wanke away.

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Backseat producers are too busy peering over the driver's seat to lean back and enjoy a movie.

Last Knights (2015)

Fun for one, two or even a family

[8/10 · 13 July 2015]

If you want a deeply provocative presentation for long conversations over a bottle of fine wine after the movie, this isn't going to work for you. But if you thoroughly enjoy a fun medieval action movie with fav actors and all the feel-good elements, this is exactly what you want.

It isn't Braveheart. But it also isn't The Scorpion King, which, by the way, is a fun action flick as well, even if that one is a bit cheesy. Goes well with the wine afterward.

(merely filler for IMDb review requirements, lordy knows no one can review a movie unless it is long enough to be boring)

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Twixt (2011)

Well done abstract horror story

[7/10 · 14 June 2015]

This is an artsy fartsy film which I enjoyed very much. In an early segment of the film, dialogue even "joked" about stylistic writing of horror stories when the lead character's (Val Kilmer) publisher told him he'd better not write anything "stylistic." The ending was a bit less than spectacular; this is my only complaint. But it worked.

You won't like this if you prefer horror thrillers which have fast action, lots of young people half nude and screaming and gore everywhere. It does have young people, it does have a bit of gore, but, mostly, it has an abstract presentation of a story and a state of mind. Ignore the fact that it is Val Kilmer, who has fallen into a rut of 5 and Dime movies. This one is good.

The Homesman (2014)

Worth watching, worth renting, worth buying for the collection

[8/10 · 12 June 2015]

I'm glad I watched this. Good, solid performances by every character large and small. Well written script and absorbing storyline. Some people are born heroic and no one rewards them. Others dabble in it reluctantly, but only long enough to follow their new sense of honor, then it's back to business as usual.

This isn't about a man becoming a hero. It's about the cold hard reality of life in the Midwest and West farming lands. It was a hard, gritty world for everyone, and more so for many women who lost their youth, children, love and lives to the sweaty dust of summers, the bitter winds of long winters, husbands who were often just their masters and disease hiding around every corner. And two people who find themselves in charge of saving 3 victims of this endless cycle of fragile life and early death in the American 1800's.

Left Behind (I) (2014)

Bad cause it was bad.

[2/10 · 30 April 2015]

This movie isn't bad because it is based on a Christian story from the bible. It is bad because it is bad. As an atheist, I am always disappointed by the idiocy of other atheists who hate any movie with the slightest Christian tendency (or more) and base their hatred for that movie on the idea that any Christian movie has to be bad because it is a Christian movie. I loved "Noah" with Russell Crowe because it was brave enough to deviate from the strict bible story and explore alternative explanations of the retold histories of our planet from one generation to another. I hated "Left Behind" because it was bad, no suspense, no plot development, no character development, just a brief retelling of the basic facts of the story already so well known by all.

James Cameron knew better than to just retell the same old story of a sinking ship.

What most atheists who criticize horror/sci-fi/disaster movies based on Christian biblical references seem to overlook is that the best horror film for an atheist would be one which has us facing the scariest thing possible, and wouldn't that be a god or a "second coming"? I know it would scare the hell out of me, lol. Unfortunately, this movie didn't scare me.

Furry Vengeance (2010)

Go ahead and be a family

[5/10 · 24 March 2015]

Here is the problem in a nutshell, the reason so many people diss this movie and similar movies. It is because more and more parents, as each year passes, simply do not involve themselves with their children in the manner parents used to be involved. Teaching them how to use tablets and iPhones is not the same thing as playing board games and choosing family movies to watch -- together. There was a time when family movies were recognized as such, and not ridiculed for being such. When we see most reviewers hating movies for being too childish for adults, we know that the time of family viewing is over. Now, Family Guy is what children watch with their parents, if their parents are even in the same room. Yay.

Mulberry St (2006)

Apocalypse movie night - pick a couple, make this one of them

[5/10 · 21 February 2015]

Good low budget apocalypse horror flick. Been better. Been much worse. All elements satisfy the craving missing perhaps the thriller aspect where no real mystery is unraveled regarding the outbreak. Cut and dried but entertaining. I found "rat people" no more incredulous than zombies. I would make this the "warm up act" to a 2nd movie on a movie night.

This long sentence is added to satisfy IMDb's curious need to make sure everyone writes reviews which say more than I want to read - I usually scan the first couple of lines, but if they start with "I saw this at a (name of festival) and was lucky enough to have met (name dropped)..." then I move on to the last paragraph (of 20) if I haven't already skipped to the next review.

Haunter (2013)

Ghost Story Holds Your Attention

[7/10 · 20 February 2015]

A pleasant surprise. I put off watching this movie because I felt the idea of a ghost being haunted by humans was already covered in "The Others." However, this one added a few additional twists which made an intriguing story which I definitely needed to see through to the end with no disappointments, including how the actors carried their roles.

There is no gore, if you don't mind seeing a few skeletal remains or the process of a body dying and crumbling. If you like complex stories more than visual gore, this is definitely a must see.

This line is added to satisfy IMDb's idea that a review must be long and boring to be submitted.

The House at the End of Time (2013)

Satisfying Story, Plot and Ending

[7/10 · 16 February 2015]

This should not be placed in the genre of "Horror." This is a science fiction thriller mystery. While hard sci-fi is based on believable technology, soft sci-fi is based on mysterious elements which focus on other things. Think "2001: A Space Odyssey" vs. "The Time Traveler's Wife." This isn't a good movie "considering it is a product of Venezuela." It is a great watch because it is a well directed, realistically performed entertaining sci-fi short story with no plot holes or loose ends. If you feel there is one, watch it again.

Do not go into it expecting a horror film. It's better than that. It's about the mystery of what happens in this house at a time of marital trouble and childhood tragedies. What is it? Why is it there? How is it there? Find out.

Alien Tornado (2012 TV Movie)

Reach Out To Someone You Love

[2/10 · 6 February 2015]

Jeff Fahey is the only reason to watch this movie. In fact, most of the movies Jeff Fahey leads or costars in are like that. Oh, wait a minute. I just thought of another reason to watch this movie.

Imagine your great Aunt Mildred sitting on her sofa in front of the TV with her friends Gladys and Harriet. They are sipping some tea which they spiked with a bit of whiskey and are giggling while nibbling on their sugar cookies. They are watching this movie and appropriately gasping when the tornadoes appear or when someone gets sucked up by a tornado (a comical vision which offers no real fright) or when the bad guy puts on his rough act with the good guy (serious overacting here by nearly everyone in the movie but for Jeff Fahey and the lady who played his daughter, Stacey Asaro). Great Aunt Mildred leans forward and shouts at the TV, "Aw, shut up ya big bully!" Friends Harriet and Gladys loudly agree between giggles and sips of tea.

If you want a B movie which has some good stuff with a few laughable things in it, this isn't it. There is no good stuff. But there's lots of laughable things in it. Watch it with Great Aunt Mildred. It will make her happy. Seriously. She deserves quality time with you.

W. (I) (2008)

Well Done

[8/10 · 30 January 2015]

I put off seeing this until 2012 because of the reviews here. When I finally watched it I was irritated that I allowed short-sighted reviews to ruin my chance to see it in a fun group setting. I have since learned to read between the reviews.

This was a fantastic performance by Josh Brolin, who nailed the publicly perceived persona of Dubya so well! The movie was a brilliant satirical depiction of the caricature the mass public created of Dubya. It was also a great impersonation of the public opinions of Cheney and other characters from this infamous administration.

This, while depicting true events and basic facts of the life and presidency of this man, what a balance to maintain! While portraying the caricature, it still gave a sympathetic portrayal of his childhood, family relations and life events which actually had me wishing I could help the adolescent and young man rise above the emotional turmoil which created the grown man he became. It was done well.

The Arsonist (2004)

Gripping. A satisfying watch

[7/10 · 30 January 2015]

This movie is awesome. Highly predictable, but played out with gripping action, plot and dialog.

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What follows is enough lines to be allowed to post this review: I don't care where someone saw a movie. I don't care who they sat next to. I don't care how many directors and producers they can name. It doesn't change my own opinion of a movie when someone says they saw it at a festival or they have watched so many of the movie type in question that I should think they are more knowledgeable and, thus, more accurate than others in describing the viewing pleasure of a movie. Finally, I don't think you care what I was doing when I watched it, but, I could be wrong.