Brash NYC policeman Officer Gunther Toody is partnered with stiff, by-the-book Officer Francis Muldoon to protect an important mafia witness prior to testifying against orgainzed crime in ... See full summary »
John C. McGinley,
Six escaped convicts and their female hostage make a desperate run for the Mexican border, where they stumble across a lost treasure of untold wealth, and find certain death instead on the Arizona desert.
Scott and Kate are married and very much in love with each other. Scott is more than 60 years old, while Kate is at least thirty years younger. When Scott dies, his soul cannot get peace ... See full summary »
Jobe is resuscitated by Jonathan Walker. He wants Jobe to create a special computer chip that would connect all the computers in the world into one network, which Walker would control and ... See full summary »
Gigli, a lowly and inept hitman, is assigned a job by the mob to kidnap a mentally retarded brother of a California district attorney. Gigli abducts the brother from his mental hospital and holds him hostage in his apartment. Ricki, a "lesbian assassin", is sent to oversee Gigli's job and make sure he doesn't screw it up. Comedic high jinks ensue as the two go on the lam and start to fall in love. Written by
Ricki chides Larry for not having a book (nor anything else) to read to Brian. Resulting in Larry instead reading the ingredients of a bottle of Tabasco Sauce to Brian. Yet Ricki herself, has a book in later scenes. See more »
You see, after all is said and done, the only thing you can be really sure of, the only thing you can really count on in this world, is that you just never fucking know.
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Towards the end of the credits Brian (Justin Bartha) can be heard singing his rendition of "Baby Got Back". See more »
A truly cynical person might think that the whole J-Lo/ Ben Affleck relationship was a publicity stunt designed to help this movie along. After all, if a couple was in the midst of a passionate affair, it is reasonable to expect some on-screen chemistry between then, right? That kind of chemistry is sadly lacking in the J-Lo/ Affleck interactions.
Ms. Lopez appears to be either in over her head as far as acting ability, or realized that she was in a "take the money and run" failure; I did not buy her as the character she was supposed to be. Affleck was just leaden, although he had nothing to work with in terms of character or dialogue. He has not always been bad (I liked "Chasing Amy"), but here, his scenes crawl along at a painfully slow pace. The "retarded kid" (and that is all he deserves to be called) is playing a high-school play version of "Rain Man" with all the annoyance but none of the nuance, complexity, or charm. The less seen, the better. Forgettable cameos top the mess.
The worst thing about Gigli is the endings. Imagine a painfully bad film, where you want to sit it through to the end, just because of all the pain and suffering it has put you through ("this film is NOT going to defeat me"). You get to the end. Then, there is another ending. Then, another ending; then, an ending involving the retarded kid. Then, an ending not involving the retarded kid. Then another... You get to a point where you sincerely believe that the editor should be forbidden from ever working in film again. Along with the director and the choad who did the bizarrely inappropriate music, as well.
The colorful, in-your-face awfulness of "From Justin to Kelly" was a picnic compared to the leaden, meandering awfulness of "Gigli." And, to think of how much this film cost, for so little...
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