Yes, there are a lot of '90's stars in this "movie" about a love struck boy, Preston, who has pined pathetically away for the most popular girl in school, Amanda, for 4 years, because he thought they shared a special and deep connection. Look, I am probably going to sort of write in this review everything that happens because as much as I hate reviews where the only thing the reviewer say is literally what happens throughout the whole movie, after my little intro, I'm just going to dig right in and tell you my thoughts and opinions on the movie while telling you what's happening but not being able to tell you WHY.
So back to Preston and what he thinks is this unspoken God's Will for him and Amanda to be together. He happens to be the very first person to see her out of all the students at their school when we exiting her car on her first day when she was sort of new and since he was late. Let's just say this love for her doesn't stem from any sort of conversation on literature, poetry, movies, art, or music. I mean... there isn't even ANY conversation AT ALL. When she first sits down next to him, (you don't see her at all so we get the BIG reveal, more on that later) he knew he was in love and it turns out it was because... they both liked the same strawberry pop tart! He even says in the movie "What are the odds?!" They eat the SAME pastry! So he believes *that* was their destiny, fate, and they were true soulmates. He never gave up on the dream that she belonged with him, just because of a nasty, high-sugar, low-protein junk food pop tart that's terrible to start off your day. The teacher asks the class "Who would like to show Amanda around the school?" (Uhh shouldn't this have already been done when her parents brought her to that new school to sign in? To bring the transcripts in, show her where her locker is, introduce her to the teachers? Did they just throw kids into new schools without even knowing where the toilets are etc?) Preston was a half a second too late as Mike, the popular football jock raised his hand faster and Amanda walked off with him... into a steamy hallway that looked like there was a fire somewhere close by. That was that, she ended up going out with the typical varsity jock football player who showed her around for the remainder of high school. But with just his luck, everyone is talking about this huge graduation party being thrown and everyone is going to be there! Preston even convinced his best friend, Denise to join him as she is kind of an outcast. (Although, she is actually my favorite character and seems to be the only normalish one in this movie) Then Preston right before they throw their graduation caps up in the air, he finds out that Mike broke up with Amanda... and he's THRILLED! They're both going to be at the same party that night! He's so excited that he shows Denise the note he wrote Amanda 4 years ago about how they belonged together because he can see the "real her" He can see she may one day have diabetes or high blood pressure if she keeps eating those strawberry pop tarts. I mean it has to be in that letter right? Because supposedly it says that to him, she is not just some beautiful, popular, cheerleader with a LOT of hair! (I mean come on! The hair department worked overtime on that mop top of Jennifer Love Hewitt) She's more than just Mike's girlfriend. Even though she's undecided in life and seems to have zero direction on her future, nor does she even know his name and they've never spoken one word to each other, they're soulmates!
Let's take you to the party. The party where the girl hosting it is soooo uptight about nothing being destroyed, nothing getting dirty, or messy, or nothing getting ruined or broken. So why in the world did you have a graduation party and invite a bunch of people, including a BAND and NOT expect it to get a little rowdy? Everyone starts showing up. Mike is there with his friends, who have all previously promised Mike before the party that they too will break up with their girlfriends! Until the party. Oh but they still will break up with them, but not until after the Pearl Jam concert... in August. Mike is like whatever! Buuuurp. Preston is trying to find Amanda staking our every room and Denise is wondering why the heck she's even there. However, later on she gets the ONLY and I mean literally the ONLY mildly funny scene when she gets trapped with Seth Green's character, Kenny. A dorky white guy who tries really hard to be black. I'm not talking like Mac Miller or Fez from Euphoria. I am talking about the worst caricature of a white boy being black. It was dumb. Especially since it's all a show. Ends up he's a virgin and they end up having sex on the bathroom floor where they're locked in together. They go back and forth on hating each other to kissing to hating to having sex. It was mildly entertaining.
Ohhh, finally the moment we've all been waiting for is here. In walks Amanda. In super slow motion, with the wind machine blowing in her hair, a song playing, everyone stops and stares at her, and she just... stands there. Alone. Literally. For like 15 seconds looking at everyone staring at her. Ok so nowadays I grew into JLH. But my GOD I wanted to scream at Amanda at least a dozen times during this movie! This is clearly a girl who does not want to be at this party. She has awkward encounters after awkward encounters, yet she still stays at this party because of.. story. The whole time she looks extremely bored as if she was forced to stay there being absolutely- out of her mind miserable. Everyone knows Mike broke up with her. Even her cousin. And so in this side room Amanda and her cousin are talking and he's trying to tell her how sorry he is for what a jerk Mike was to break up with her. And he's there for her if she ever needs anything. Then out of nowhere, he full on sexually harasses her. He just jumps on top of her while she's clearly pushing him away and making "help me" noises, and guess who finally finds her? Yup. Preston. He sees them on the couch and looks gutted. He is so sad that he is seeing the love of his life, his one and only soulmate trying to get her cousin off of her while he clearly has her pinned down against her will, but he solemnly walks away looking distraught. I mean.. did I accidentally turn on Three's Company?! You can tell she did not want him on top of her! She finally pushes her cousin off of her and says he's sick and leaves the room. But not the party because...story! But Preston leaves the party. And as he leaves the party, he throws away the love letter he wrote her. The documentation of his undying, never ending, intimate, devotion that he's carried around within his brooding heart for 4 years. He throws it in the trash and leaves. Some girl gets gum stuck to her shoe and she steps on the letter and that letter looked like it had more fun at that party than anyone else. The letter conveniently gets thrown around until it lands in a bowl (more on that later) So Oreston is out there trying to call a radio show because he heard Mandy by Barry Manilow on the radio or something?? Jenna Elfman, an angel stripper, tells him to go get the love of his life! And don't let anyone get in the way of his desire for Barry Manilow! Preston goes back to the party just in time to see drunk Mike telling Amanda that he will take her back. Oh by the way, she found the letter that conveniently found it's way dead smack in a bowl right in front of her face! (Fate!) She reads it for about a second and does her whisper smile and gets up and starts asking people who Preston Meyers is. And people are saying "He sat next to you in all your classes" yet she still doesn't know him. Again, never spoke to him, doesn't know him, doesn't know what he looks like. Back to the Mike/Amanda showdown. She tells him to screw off, they're over. She's holding the life changing letter as she tells him somebody else wants her. (She just doesn't know who they are) He's embarrassed and there's another whole side story where this nerd was going to get revenge on him for bullying him his entire high school life. But because Mike is embarrassed that Amanda upset him in front of people for like 2 minutes (the thing Mike has done to the nerd for years and years and years and years) they become best buds. Then after the showdown where Amanda "wins!" everyone is coming up to her congratulating her for being such a STRONG woman for not taking Mike back, so they all want her to take her clothes off. I'm serious. All these guys are just blatantly saying things like "K just saw what happened, God you're hot, let's go to my van!" and "Remember when we danced together at junior prom? I had the biggest hard on!" "Damn Amanda your boobs are huge! Can I touch them?" This is all while she's walking out the door leaving. Now, Preston has ONE last chance to prove his stalking, obsessive love for her comes to fruition. So he yells, "AMANDA? AMANDA! I LOVE YOU!" She turns around and looks up at him, and he is stunned. He holds his chest and starts chasing her down and fumbling his way down the stairs through people to get to her, trying to tell her that ever since Freshman year he's felt they've had this connection (pop tart!) and he thinks they belong together, so if they can just go somewhere and talk-" No. Nope. That was it. That was the boiling point. She finally unleashes her rage that she had been single for like 5 seconds and already he thinks she's going to go somewhere and take off her clothes and just "do him" because of some sick fantasy he's had of her (she's right) BUT instead of stopping her and handling it like a normal person would, he blankly stares at her while she's telling him off.. like his mom just told him his dad just passed away. She walks away from him and he still says nothing. But not before one final turn around from Amanda telling him to "go get a God d*mned life A-hole!" And everyone starts laughing and cheering
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