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jon_m_hunter
Reviews
Troy (2004)
Nothing too special
Troy was great visually though I've been getting used to these large battles sans guns since LOTR so I've been a little dulled to them. The city of Troy, though very not-historical, was beautiful and portrayed much as we think Ancient Greek places must look. All the boats were very nicely done, though it doesn't look like they are being rowed very hard sometimes. Costumes were very nicely done too, though its hard to tell which side is which mid battle.
I know in the beginning it says "based on The Iliad" but I really think it could have been a better representation of the great Greek Epic. It could have used some sweet Gods fighting amongst themselves and aiding the people to clear up parts of the story. They really had WAY more to do with the war than is remotely acknowledged in the film. It would have been difficult to do, but if it was done well-enough, it would have separated this film from others of the style. Paris's love in the beginning also could have been explained 100% better with the whole Hera/Aphrodite story.
Speaking of the little coward, Orlando Bloom's voice is getting just plain annoying. Hes getting type-casted as the little weenie ladies man who is willing to sacrifice the British navy or some great ancient people just so he can get the hot girl. I'm getting a little tired of it. If he wants to prove himself to be a decent actor, and not some teen phenom, then he needs to show that he can do other types of parts. I knew he was Paris, so he killed Achilles (also not the way in the Iliad and also involving gods) but I was rooting for someone to smite the puny wuss. I kept wanting him and his little lame pick-up lines and quips about his true love to get off the screen in favor of Brad Pitt being cool.
Other complaints: Some of the battle clips are really lame. You see like one or two people hitting others in a very fake/unrealistic way. One of the scenes in Agamemnon's ship is simply horrible. Its supposed to be comic relief I think except for the fact that its not funny at all. The Trojan King (forgot the name) is overdone in a few scenes. Achilles's cousin is almost as annoying as Paris.
The good: Agamemnon's thirst for power was very well done. Fireballs rolling down the dunes were sweet. Hector and Achilles fight scene was spectacular. Great great choreography and well acted on both sides.
It was definitely a preview to the big-budget summer movies to come.
Overall - 6/10 - might have been a 5 if there weren't some good hecklers behind me
Slap Shot (1977)
if you cant beat em, beat ON em *spoilers perhaps*
Slap Shot is truly the greatest sports film of all time. It took a serious issue, such as violence in hockey and showed exactly what it did to the sport. With subtle humor, it shows that violence in hockey has made a mockery of the sport. At the same time, a clever story which also includes a sports issue that is rising to importance in current society is included. Owners versus players. Another serious issue is the fact that Charlestown (think Charleston West Virginia) is dying, as the region has been in real life.
All the subtle humor (Ned the gambling winner, homophobia, drunkeness, hockey wives missing husbands, the Canadians totally out of place, strange promotions, the ignorant stupid sportswriter, and the oblivious sports commentator) blended with the physical humor (the hansons flipping over the hotel guy, the 70s styles, hockey puck to the head of the organist, mooning the chiefs protestors). Its a perfect blend of hilarity and yet a perspective on life as it is. I own the movie (and have a poster with the Hansons on it) and I have seen it a million times and I havent found a better sports movie out there. I would recommend it to anyone and everyone. 10/10
Atomic Twister (2002)
OH THE AGONY...*spoilers*
I watched this film with the meteorology club here at Valparaiso University and we had a riot. That riot was either caused by the cookies or the pizza, I'm not sure which. Well actually, I guess the movie was funny too, especially from a meteorology major's view. Meteorologists also take some physics as well and know the ridiculous situation that the Nuclear plant goes through as well. The people who made this movie must have had no idea how either worked, which made the movie hilarious! I tell you, it was great fun tearing this movie apart from a scientific perspective! It was also funny in the perspective of the cheesiness and the scenes that were so stupid that we all couldn't help but laughing. My personal favorite was the scene where the little boy was playing "Twister" with the babysitter. You may think that this game is appropriate for what happens in the movie, but if you watch the kid, he has other reasons for playing twister with her, wink, wink. The acting was poor as well, which caused even more laughs. I just loved how the female lead kept saying with so much fake sincerity that "Stu is Dead!" Poor Carl Lewis...he did alright, but they just had to kill him off, like I'm sure they did with any other ideas that might have made this movie any bit of good.
Overall I would give it a rating of 0 out of 10 because in terms of seriousness, Atomic Twister is the worst movie that I have ever seen. To give it a 1 would have disrespected such masterpieces as Manos, Gigli, Justin to Kelly, and Glitter. If this movie were billed as something like Airplane! this movie might have been the greatest comedy in modern history, but since it wasn't this movie just plain sucks. Badly.
Dreamcatcher (2003)
Horrid
Oh my gosh was this an awful movie. The movie had me going up to the point right after the snake-thing killed Jason Lee. It was interesting up to then, but after that it really broke down. The acting wasn't particularly good, and for christ's sake, after the first killing, the showed the two creatures. According to the jaws principle, once you see the shark, the movie isn't scary and this one wasn't scary after the first killing. The final scene was just too off-beat to describe, and throughout the movie, I didn't think that Damian Lewis's dramatic acting was up to par. The only reason that I think anyone would give it better than a one is because it was so bad at some points, it was hilarious.