unbornpaniwala Reviews

Wonder Woman (2017)

Wooden "Amazonian" Mess Woman

[1/10 · 9 June 2017]

Ugh! This movie is a good example of how not to make superhero origin movies. We'll probably forget it for a good reason after the studios make big money out of it.

I love superhero origin movies. I feel this one might have worked well in an age void of the Batman or Ironman or Spiderman origin stories or even Thor for the heck of it. Well maybe not even then. Those characters did actually look and feel like superheroes you could relate with and they looked real. Imagine Ironman without Robert Downey Jr or Batman without Christian Bale. Nope, DC went down the first time with Man of Steel. And Now This.

You have a Wonder Woman played by Gal Gadot who doesn't even look like she remotely has anything to do with Amazon except maybe the Wood on her face along with the rest of her clan. I get all the glitz and glamour with her costumes and makeup. But if they wanted to do that they should have done a modeling gig or a cosplay shootout and not a movie. And the chemistry between her and Chris Pine is like mixing milk with vinegar, completely forced and unnecessary making the movie curdle up in your face. Even the villain is such a major let down. What's left is a predictable plot with monotonous characters acted by human cutouts headed by a director who slept well through her job.

Costumes and sets are great and cinematography looked fine too but even the fight scenes are boring and atrocious to watch as they lack realism or visual bravado. This all accompanied by the jarring sound track every-time Wonder Woman shows up makes it all the more pretentious towards the audience. Maybe it was the one thing could've saved this movie just like it did in Batman vs Superman. It was unoriginal but somewhat managed to redeem the previous movie only to prove they can't do it every-time.

This movie is at best a commercial marketing gimmick and at worst a complete waste of senses I wished I had the luxury of leaving behind in a heap of thrash notwithstanding the constant bombardment of hype by the media regarding how people are raving about it. Sorry I don't get it at all. I'd rather watch reruns of Deadpool then revisit this again ever.

2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)

I can feel it, my mind is going

[5/10 · 30 April 2015]

It's 2015 and we have reached a time when our imagination exceeds our limits. We have watched some excellent and visually stunning space movies like Gravity and Interstellar which not only capture technical details of space travel and survival but also human emotion in midst of it. So where does this movie '2001: A Space Odyssey' stand in all of this?

A film maker or an avid fan who lives in nostalgia and history of film making will find this to be awe inspiring for its level of expertise and techno savvy for a time that had imagined of mankind within grasp of eternal glory through evolution. For me though this very concept of relying on evolution as a foundation has flawed the whole narrative in an otherwise technically superior movie of it's time. May be if Kubrick and his team had stuck to a tale of survival rather than become overly ambitious in their approach they could have made it more believable and relatable. Instead we are left with something that brings you to a high with its visual imagery before coming crashing down back again with an absurd conclusion.

The end product looks more like a pseudo documentary with humans who are mostly monotonous and who do not seem to represent struggles of mankind in space much less our achievements. I could care less for the fate of these humans or that of mankind/species that they represent which is sad considering that this whole movie seems to be attempting to get there.

It certainly does not help that this movie heavily relies on visual imagery which in today's time we take for granted. Unless I take note that this movie was made way back in 1968 when we did not have computer generated wizardry like today I could dismiss this as just another experiment gone awfully wrong in which after some time my mind just shut off like that of the HAL on board Discover One.

MSG: The Messenger of God (2015)

Many people have life changing miracle while watching this movie

[10/10 · 26 February 2015]

This is not a joke. MSG is a god send for all the bhukaa nangaa aur anaath (hungry naked and orphan) and an answer to all paapi and bhrast karam (evil and corrupt acts) of society. Many people have reported getting a miracle while watching this film.

One poor beggar walked into theatre after some lady dropped a ticket of MSG in his begging bowl. In theatre he was seated next to an old man. Old man started having heart attack. Old man died during climax of MSG. Before old man died he gave a big share of his wealth to beggar. Beggar walked out of theater now rich because he watched MSG.

A frustrated couple was standing outside fertility clinic when a mysterious man dropped 2 tickets from a passing SUV. They picked up ticket to give it back but SUV flew away. They immediately decided to chuck their appointment and watch MSG and right in middle of this film a sick pregnant woman with husband in next seat began having labour pains. She and this couple continued watching film with sincerity and baby arrived just in time to watch climax but sick pregnant lady died. Before this lady died she gave her healthy baby boy to couple. So this childless couple walked out of theater with a child because they watched MSG.

Pretty woman was walking down the street outside a court in a lot of distress to catch a rickshaw. A mysterious driver man wearing a turban in SUV picked her up. She told him about wanting to go to nearest bridge. While on their way they were passing a fertility clinic when this man threw 2 tickets out of his SUV. He then dropped pretty woman at a theatre playing MSG and urged her to watch this film with sincerity. On her way inside she dropped the extra ticket in a beggar's bowl. This beggar followed her inside theatre and sat next to rich old man. Pretty woman in distress was sitting next to man with his sick pregnant wife. While watching MSG pregnant lady went into labor but continued watching movie with sincerity and then delivered baby just in time to watch climax with baby and died. Before dying she told her husband to marry pretty woman and gave her child to the childless couple sitting next to her. Pretty woman was recently divorced and about to commit suicide in distress but now she came face to face with her first love from past - sick pregnant lady's husband. They walked out of theatre after watching MSG and got married.

A pregnant lady and her husband received bad news that she was afflicted with incurable disease and terminally ill and would die soon may be even before delivering child. Her last wish was to watch MSG and for doing so she pledged that she would give away her child to couple sitting next to her and marry her husband to a pretty woman sitting next to him. A mysterious man in SUV delivered tickets to her and left without taking any money. Pregnant lady and her husband went to theatre, watched movie sincerely and delivered healthy child which she gave to childless couple sitting next to her. Husband met his old time sweet heart sitting next to him, who was forcefully married by parents to a greedy man. His sick pregnant wife asked him to promise to marry this pretty woman after she died and he did.

Finally, an old man who was rich also wanted to watch MSG badly for a long time and kept praying to get a ticket. All theatres were booked. He thought to himself if I get a ticket to watch MSG I will donate a big share of my money to man sitting next to me. All of a sudden he looked up in sky and saw a SUV flying by and before he could understand a ticket fell on his head. He could not believe his eyes as it was ticket to watch MSG. So he ran to theatre with joy. While waiting for movie to start he found a beggar seated next to him and gave him a cheque of big sum then started watching MSG with sincerity. He started having heart attack after watching at marvelous stunts and action scenes but continued watching happily. Old man died during climax of MSG.

MSG is unique, MSG is mysterious, MSG is miracle and an answer to all your worries and problems. Go watch MSG with sincerity after receiving ticket for free from mysterious man in SUV and get married, or get rich or get child for free too. Go watch MSG and after giving away your wealth, child and husband to strangers in a theatre. Die!

Chennai Express (2013)

Chennai Expression-less Review

[13 August 2013]

---------Review for SRK Bollywood Fans--------- This is the most mind blowing movie ever. What a hilarious and action- filled romantic movie all-in-one that everyone including deaf and blind would watch. Everyone and everything in it is such that you will not even realize when movie arrived, when it stopped and when it left just like Chennai Express. You will not want to miss it even if you have to fail an exam or miss your own wedding or loose a job. You might learn a lesson or two about life by watching this movie and become smart and self- respecting. Such a performance by the king of kings and the actor of actors that you will not leave the theater even if there is a fire.

-----------------Real Review------------------- Run for your lives like there is a fire in the theater. It is called Chennai Express so run fast before this train catches up and runs over you before you know what hit you. What were you thinking coming to watch this movie? Are you out of your mind? Not even deaf and blind people should watch this movie. If nothing else discourages you then watch the stupid trailer. There is not even a single inspiring original scene even there. Some already learnt their lesson after they fell for similar hype before in JTHJ, Ra One, RNBDJ, OSO etc. If you are a self-respecting smart individual then you will not waste your time on this.

The Hunger Games (2012)

The Hamburger Games is so true to its name

[1/10 · 9 May 2012]

The plot:- Fatness Neverlean lives in one of the obesity stricken districts where people keep hogging on Ham burgers day and night which explains why characters in this movie look like they just gobbled down some quarter pounders. That's not the point though, the movie constantly revolves around Fatness just like the cameraman did while pleasuring himself. It explores her deepest darkest emotions as she is put through a brutal test of beating kids from other districts in a contest of collecting and eating the most ham burgers they can find. How cruelly true to its name the games are gets epitomized in one scene where the kids are force fed a platter of Big Macs after just finishing off the BK Whopper challenge. Finally Fatness decides enough is enough and contemplate's to go on a diet while her competitors are savaging through one burger after another. Will she have the very last bite or will someone else have her burger and eat it too? Oh yeah there is also a love story in there somewhere like a pickle.

Summary:- The big burger who played the role of Fatness deserves nothing short of a happy meal for her stomach churning performance as does the rest of the cast. I felt the movie makers have served the big Kahuna burger but they missed the sides completely. Call me picky but I wouldn't even consider biting into a burger without the mandatory fries and ketchup and add to that a lack of drinks leaves me feeling high and dry like I ordered an incomplete meal to begin with. For a lean and mean discerning viewer The Hamburger Games would be an indigestible fare and may lead to a stomach upset or worse diarrhea. Other chunky viewers who are pleased with any thing that the Hollywood fast food joint throws at them will most likely be hungry for more. Please consult your local burger joint before venturing into this gluttonous Hog-fest.

Immortals (2011)

Comparable to Pornography

[1/10 · 15 November 2011]

My only expectation was to be entertained. I am not familiar with Tarsem's previous works but last time I watched a good movie it had a solid storyline with some great acting, gripping narrative that seemed to be heading to a climax I was looking forward to. All of this is sorely missing in this movie. One senseless scene after another from the multi-ethnic Oracles(speaking in Greek?), the strong Titans(gray men with funny helmets) locked up in a cage to be freed to wreak havoc some day and the virgin Oracle so unnecessarily making love with Theseus in one of the most awkward love scenes ever. The only objective of the director seems to be to show as much gore and flesh as possible in 3d to market this movie as R-rated. Yet it didn't seem like anything new other than what we already saw meaningfully executed in 300. I did not find Clash of the Titans as much exciting but after this I'm willing to reconsider that as well. How low can it get? You have no idea!

The casting of Freida Pinto as the virgin oracle was a mistake to say the least. She barely mumbles the dialogs and looks completely lifeless. Even her pairing with the main character Theseues is cringe-worthy and fatal. She looks far too ordinary to play such a role and her background doesn't even suggest she would have done well in it except for the fact that both the director and she are of Indian origin. The demi-god character of Theseus shouts and hams when he gets to speak otherwise he is busy displaying the effects of working out at the local gym. He doesn't look one bit like a lead character. Even Zeus in the human form looks really funny and made me crack unintentionally with his wise-guy dialogs and antics. All of the other "Gods" look like silly robots. Micky Rourke tries hard to look like a mean and merciless Hyperion whose only menace is to chew and spit stuff while torturing and killing a few people.

Many people want to call this art in motion because of it's graphic style. Art is like pornography if it does not present a sensible idea or story and that would be the best way I could describe this work from Tarsem Singh.

Puss in Boots (2011)

Meowz Up!!

[8/10 · 31 October 2011]

I've been watching a lot of animated movies off late and am a cat lover as well! So there wasn't much of a debate whether to watch this movie or not. My opinion might be based on what I think an average animated movie watcher like me goes to a movie for. First is to see an unthinkable fantasy world come to animated life and second is to get some cute fun in the process. With this in mind I'd rate this movie an 8 out of 10.

The story of the fugitive cat 'Puss in boots' is compelling enough to grasp the viewer in his adventures and there is a lot of other interesting characters, some cute and some stereotypically evil ones on the way as well. We are introduced to the story of friendship, betrayal and reconciliation of the main protagonists Puss and Humpty Dumpty in the beginning and the rest of the story follows vividly from there. All of it is done with little distractions here and there but no cheesiness. But there is still a lack of that charisma for people that look for more in their movies. Which is why this movie might not become a classic like Lion King, Nemo or Shrek for that matter. If you are expecting one then you will be a tad bit disappointed like me.

The cutest part of the movie has to be the baby goose. I could hardly care who else was in the frame in those scenes.Good job! The performance of Antonio Banderas is what make this movie so energetically moving. It's going to be difficult for anyone to personify the lovable Puss In Boots in a different way or a different level above the memorable voice Antonio gave to an otherwise well known parallel character from story books. I cant say the same for any other characters in this movie. Even Salma Hayek falls flat except for a few instances in her performance of Soft Paws. I didn't really grow fond of Humpty Dumpty(Zach Galifianakis) either and I don't hope for these two characters to grow further as well if there happens to be a sequel.

All in all this is good clean animated fun at its best. My whole hearted Meow on this one.

Mumbai Diaries (2010)

Complicated yet touching movie

[5/10 · 2 February 2011]

The premise of this movie seems to be more of a documentary on the city of Mumbai which is essayed by the lives of 4 seemingly unconnected strangers who find themselves in a complicated interplay. The painter Arun finds inspiration in an oddly absent yet pervasive character of Yasmin who tells her story through a bunch of video tapes found by him in his rented apartment. This aspect of the movie was the only part that actually made some sense. The rest about Arun's brief yet intimate encounter with a young upper class girl Shai along with other things like Shai's attempts to win Arun's affections or what not and also her liaisons with the local Dhobi Zohaib are a complicated and incomplete concept in the plot. Even the sub-plot about Zohaib's feelings towards Shai appears incomplete.

The strongest point about dhobi ghat is its presentation and flow unlike any other in Indian cinema or bollywood for that matter. The screenplay moves on brilliantly capturing the most momentous sights and sounds in Mumbai. From the crowded and often bustling streets filmed both during day and night to the calm and soothing or at times hauntingly dark corners, from the artistic Ajanta and Ellora caves to the busy dhobi ghat and the different seasons and festivals all are filmed so well that they make the city come alive like a protagonist by itself expressing its different emotions.

The acting is very natural and realistic. Aamir who plays Arun the painter, Prateik who plays Zohaib the Dhobi, Monica the upper class girl and Krishti in the role of Yasmin have done a great job to make their characters look believable. It's been especially a difficult path for Aamir to come down from the larger than life and dominating image in mainstream cinema and he has'nt given any chance to complaint about that. Prateik Babbar has done a great job in his first major movie and would likely receive deserved praise for it as well. He has certainly made a bold decision to make an appearance as a common man so missing in Bollywood these days.

Kiran Rao has made this movie so brilliantly its hard to believe that it's her very first one. It would be a tough benchmark to beat for any new filmmaker. She should probably be coaching some of the more popular "seasoned" filmmakers like Farah Khan and Sajid Khan.

To put it in summary Dhobi Ghat is cinema that gives its viewers a lot to chew on but leaves a lastingly good taste.

Masoom (1983)

The Epitome of Innocence

[10/10 · 23 January 2011]

The movie starts with a peek in the happy married life of an upper-class couple and their children and contrasts it with the tragedy in the life an 8-year old boy who's mother passes away and he is taken into the care of a very old man also in his last stages of life. The story unfolds with the discovery of the complex and taboo relationship between this illegitimate son and the father and the resulting tension in the family. The focus of the movie is the emotions of an 8-year old who is innocent of the mistake committed by his father and how they and the family deal with it. The filmmaker Shekhar Kapur did best at sensitising how people look down upon forbidden relations and people who engage in it through the difficulty of the couple to come to terms with what happened in the past. The only sore point is that the movie's tone is entirely sympathetic towards the husband making the wife sometimes look completely unreasonable for almost the whole movie.

I had watched this movie a long time ago but the impact is still fresh in my mind. It has some very memorable names like Naseeruddin Shah(husband), Shabana Azmi(wife), Urmila and Jugal Hansraj(kids) in it but watching it you realise why they became so well known for their acting. Both Mr. Shah and Ms Azmi are accurate in their respective portrayals of a loving couple who are torn between the broken sanctity of marriage and their responsibility as a father and mother. Also the kids surely win over the heart through their picture perfect expressions. The eyes of Jugal Hansraj really bring out the innocence and need of a forgone child to be loved so very well that no true father would ever want to let go of their child after watching this.

Watching this makes me introspect and analyze my own level of innocence or the lack of it and I realise that although we're never going to get it back we could at least protect it in the eyes of our children.

Tees Maar Khan (2010)

The jokes on us!

[1/10 · 10 January 2011]

Almost all of us are ruing about the fact that we had gone to watch TMK with a lot of expectations after all the hype and anticipation surrounding Farah Khan's latest third movie. The problem is that Farah Khan took it for granted that what most viewer's look for in a movie is a great star cast, nicely choreographed songs and a comic like story. All of these were also widely used to great success in her earlier movies which was done sensibly around a visible story. But the problem with TMK is that it does not tell anything that the viewer can relate to and like other Farah Khan movies she adds an artificial humor to it only excessively this time. Her earlier movie characters had some true to life feel although there were unusual things happening to them but their reactions seemed real. Like SRK's emotions in Om Shanti Om when he enacts receiving an award or when he first meets his dream girl. Here Akshay Kumar plays the role of a big-time crook or con-man but his con jobs seem completely unreal and so does the way his character acts through it. There's absolutely no sense in watching someone with a brain of a monkey do feats of a rocket scientist. It's as if there was already a movie with the same concept that was made with a serious tone and Farah is trying to make a spoof out of it. The viewers don't have a clue as to what she intends to make fun of as the spoof is on an original movie that doesn't exist or no one watched.

While no one expects real acting in a spoof, the role of an actor of Akshay Kumar's caliber is required to have some substance to it. It would have been perhaps better suited to cast some unknown or small time comedian in this completely silly role than to waste Akshay Kumar's skills and star image. Also instead of dressing up this mess with senseless scenes and songs Farah Khan should have made an effort to make the characters look real and get some sensible acting out of her cast particularly Katrina who will only be noticed for the item song. The viewer's watch comic movies to forget their worries but they're not stupid. So Farah Khan should sit down with those who write the story before deciding how to make a comedy scene than the other way round. Also the gay concept is getting kind of old but she seems to still live in the last decade. This is certainly not a good way to end a decade in Bollywood!!

Its the viewers who pay the price of a ticket and they are the ones who decide if a movie is really worthy of appreciation. Patting oneself on the back and creating fake hype is just a way to cheat and insult the earnest viewers who unknowingly fall in the trap of watching these duds. A over hyped movie like this is nothing but a bad elaborate joke on the intelligence of those who spent their money on buying the tickets. But right now no one is laughing.

Once Upon a Time in Mumbaai (2010)

Movie is good but don't be misled by the title

[6/10 · 10 January 2011]

When you watch a movie about Mumbai being from mumbai the first thing one would want is the dialogues to be in the local language or at least the manner in which they are delivered to be of some semblance but sadly our own "Bollywood" filmmakers have done a bad job at it than someone like Danny Boyle in SDM.

To expect once upon a time in mumbai to rise to the level of Slum Dog Millionaire in terms of the story telling and the reality would be a big mistake but these days Bollywood is reaching out much wider than before and has a lot of investment flowing in as well from all quarters. So Once upon a time does deliver a lot of substance and entertainment but it still lacks the feel of being anywhere near reality as its title purports it to be.

By now everyone is aware of the story of this movie about the rise of a Robinhood like gangster inspired from Haji Mastan played by Ajay Devgan and his ardent follower turned henchman turned enemy inspired from Dawood played by Imraan Hashmi. Most of the movie was meant to be a sort of showcase of the lives of these smugglers and kingpins , their alliances and disputes as well as the struggle between them and a weak police force. All this from the point of view of a failed police officer. But some of the vulgarities are replaced with the rosiness of bollywood by focusing more on the love stories of the 2 main gangsters more than all these aspects of the story which would concern the narrator's point of view. The love story is given so much importance that the gangsters end up looking more like caricatures of a typical Tapori Romeo than being capable of becoming the heads of a crime syndicate. This is a sorely lacking pint in the character of Shuaib Khan(imraan hash mi) who is barely tolerable in any of the scenes or situations let alone displaying the sharpness or passion of the most feared Don of mumbai. Most of the times he ends up either arguing with friends or messing up with other fellow gangsters or parading his girlfriend who for some reason keeps sticking onto him despite a lack of any connection to his inner character or decency in his attitude towards her. The gullible aspect of entrusting responsibilities on Shuaib by Sultan Mirza(Ajay Devgan) seems totally unconvincing considering how much intelligent the character of Sultan is portrayed to be. If that weren't enough Shuaib's differences with Sultan are more visible to an outsider like the police inspector than Sultan himself which would make no sense at all.

The dialogues and their delivery is no doubt very powerful and at times thought provoking but it severely lacks any realism or conveys the context of the story or the intelligence of the characters. Shuaib is then forced down to appear like a leader even though none of his actions or words make him appear to be so and on the other hand Sultan falls into a betrayal that would seem so obvious to those he has dealt with shrewdly in the past. All of this weakens the story a bit along with the slow pacing of events.

I think Ajay devgan redeems this movie from a downward spiral which brings out a memorable performance in him, He completely excludes command and domination in every scene. His co-star Kagna Ranaut also delivers to her role quite believably. The other 2 co-stars do their part but again Imraan Hashmi seems a wrong choice for the role of a don. It seems like he was chosen for the lover boy side more than the gangster side of the role as most of the time he is seen pursuing a love interest than doing anything worthy of a crime head.

In summary this movie is more bollywood than a historical drama and the filmmakers did no justice to the inclusion of the name of Mumbai in the title in terms of the atmosphere.Watch it for Ajay Devgan's best performance!

Band Baaja Baaraat (2010)

Another predictable bollywood "love" marriage

[1/10 · 9 January 2011]

I had heard lots of good reviews from people in forums or blogs that have trailers and news of this movie so I thought if it's getting a good rating from the "well-educated" and "higly-informed" internet community then it must be different from the standard bollywood fair of girl meets boy both fall in love have a bad patch and make-up in the end kind of story. This is a review Im writing much to dismiss those misguiding in this online community than to actually state the fact that the movie isn't anything special. Maybe the standards of bollywood have fallen so low now from such recent movies as Houseful,Tees Maar Khan, Action Replayy and others that people are making movies like Band Bajaa Baraat a benchmark for entertainment.

Its not as if there is anything going against the bollywood style love stories that more or less end in the same fashion than the depth well-made love stories usually achieve and the immense passion they depict. Band Bajaa Baraat doesn't venture into depicting the development of a love relationship between the 2 main protaginists because the director wants the audience to just assume that since Ranveer is the hero and Anoushka is the heroine both definitely have to fall in love or make the mistake of doing so exclusively with each other. Everything else in the story actually turns out to be just a shenanigan for them to come together, then split before eventually realising that they are actually meant for each other. The whole wedding planning thingy is just a secondary thing to the so-called "love-story" that never happened. Really?? Is that all that we have learnt to do in movies in the last almost 70-80 years of cinema in bollywood which by now even a 10 yr old might come up with for a script writing homework given one.

Not only have the filmmakers given less importance to the "love" between Shruti and Bittoo but made sure the intimacy between them happens so suddenly and brazenly that it leaves room for wondering whether this is going anywhere or its just another one night stand turned guilt sort of thing only. Its like a 2-minute noodle concept being applied to a "love-story". One minute you cookup the whole story about the protaginists fall in love making a mistake and another you cook a story about wedding planners mix the two together and serve them with some hot kissing and love-making scene to the audience who will readily eat it up. Sorry but Im not able to digest what was served in this over the top love marriage ceremony.

I do not have much to write about the main actors Ranveer and Anoushka except that they were expectedly fine in performing what the director had in mind. It's not going to be a love story or performance people will keep remembering and talking abt even a year or maybe a few months from now so they have to find better projects to show their worth.

In summary I'd say only go watch it if you're a die-hard bollywood movie maniac who has nothing better to do in life. Better luck next time descerning viewers!!

Housefull (2010)

Sajid's House Full of Pain

[3/10 · 16 May 2010]

How can they ever justify the title of this movie keeping in mind the decreasing number of audiences in the theater once this movie starts rolling? People begin rolling in their seats also not laughing but uneasily cringing at supposedly funny scenes.

The story is too ridiculous to be told. Arush played by Akshay Kumar is a sweet guy with a messed up life and makes others lives messed up too which makes for some flat cheesy jokes in a movie filled with caricatures and stereotypes. Many scenes particularly the climax should make it to the hall of shame for being the most ridiculous "comic" scenes ever filmed in Bollywood. The actors try to do their best in this failed venture but ultimately Sajid Khan has done a great job of making a fool out of himself and all the actors in this movie. If he comes up with another comedy like this we should deport him to our enemy country to terrorize them with all his torturing and traumatizing jokes.

Akshay Kumar,Reitesh Deshmukh,Lara Dutta and Boman Irani would have been really effective with a good comedy as they managed to pull out some laughs and guffaws from the audience even in Sajid's house full of headaches and pain.

Marega Salaa (2009)

Just fine to watch on a lazy day

[5/10 · 20 February 2010]

I bumped into this one while browsing for some interesting yet unheard of movies I missed last year. The title itself sounds pretty catchy so I decided to check it out with lots of free time and free popcorn by my side. Honestly I wasn't disappointed.

The beginning itself is intriguing and unconventional when we get introduced to a not so typical bright and shine cop not the kind we are so used to in bollywood movies. The cop Jay played pretty well by Jimmy Shergill shares his equally intriguing philosophy about the betrayal in the charms of women and how he's been let down by his own heart giving in when the mind doesn't want to. This we realize is the premise that would be slowly revealed in the rest of the movie and completely unraveled at the end of it. Assigned with the security of the minister and his young daughter he doesn't come across as a model for a Cop as he ends up in bed with what he is supposed to only protect. This gets him in trouble after which he is transfered to Mumbai where the rest of the story proceeds with a murder mystery of a Remix mogul Anirudh. He has company in the form of the other cop, his buddy cum "unlucky jinx" and a seductive yet dangerous Tanya, the wife of the murder victim. As the movie plays along there are some needless and dragging explorations made in the relationship of Tanya with her now dead husband and others around him as well as the sexual tension developing between the two main protagonists. However, the movie manages to keep the interest factor up till the very end.

By the end of it I was pretty convinced of what was to come but was surprised at what it turned out to be. In many ways the movie reminded me of a similar and deadly twist in the Hollywood blockbuster Wild Things running around the same theme. The rest is best left to be watched for what its worth. I word of advice is not to expect too much out of it but at the same time not to underplay any of what we see in the movie. Its not as disappointing as some regular bollywood thrash these days.

Hrishitaa bhatt who had a lot of screen space in her first movie Haasil with Jimmy Shergill this time only manages to grab a part as the weeping sobbing Priya who after a short affair with the victim becomes one of the prime suspects. The acting entirely belongs to Jimmy Shergill although Kim Sharma largely providing eye candy in the role of Tanya has her moments too. Both look good together on screen and believable at the same time. I was expecting much less from this unknown movie than a few moments of entertainment but was pleasantly surprised. Still it would'nt be a puzzle if it goes unnoticed in Bollywood so I gave it a balanced 5 star for now.

The Sadist (1963)

All I have to say is WOW!!!

[8/10 · 22 November 2009]

You cant expect much from a black and white movie with a thin plot line and no well known actors, right??... Wrong! This movie really makes you think hard what's missing in todays movies that just take all these elements for granted and yet cannot produce as gripping and tense a cinematic moment as visible in this movie.

Remember that this was a movie made even before may be half of us(at least I wasn't) were born so there is definitely some predictable turns but to be fair the timing and intensity of each of these gruesome scenes is fantastically done. And I completely agree with the other review which calls it a timeless master piece. It could very well be made in 2009 and barely changed at all....unless you consider that back then people didn't have cell phones(they can still go dead in some places) and the police was also not so well equipped. Watch it if you enjoy being slightly masochistic.

My verdict is 8/10. I loved it and wish there was a sequel too.

Raaz: The Mystery Continues (2009)

Five stars only for Kangna

[5/10 · 4 October 2009]

Movie does not appear to be a horror or thriller because of its predictability. At least not for horror movie afficiandoes. Half way through I already was able to get a hint of what the end would be like.

Without spoiling too much for those who are still waiting to watch this movie. What? Am I kidding? Its been 6 months since it came out but anyways I think nothing makes it worth watching than Kagna alone. My only complain is that she looks too cute to look scary even in a ghostly appearance. That apart she does a good job at genuinely putting life into a character that builds on you. I like a horror movie which ends with a lot of tension and shock leaving behind the viewer with a climax that sticks in their mind for a long long time. But unfortunately the whole thing dissolves in the end particularly because the concern for Kangna's character gets removed by the end.

In fact other than watching her and commenting on her dresses in some not so "demanding" scenes all we were doing was laughing away at some of the "scary" scenes. The graphics have been done well for a bollywood movie... but its too late for them.

OK so my final say is watch it for Kangna otherwise skip it.

Teree Sang: A Kidult Love Story (2009)

Movie is lovable but irresponsible like a kid

[5/10 · 9 August 2009]

They call it a kidult love story and have gone on to make a rehashed version of Bollywood and Hollywood movies inspired from Qayamat se Qayamat Tak, Kyaa Kehna and partly Juno in its theme, but hackneyed as the plot outline may sound it comes across as being engrossing enough to keep you watching and thinking about it for long.

There are some awfully sweet moments in what could potentially have been a dark and painful subject. In it you feel there is a lot of compromise being made to entertain than to educate. Though its scary that this movie should be entertaining considering the consequences of people watching it and coming out encouraged to follow suit. Who doesn't feel at many times to give in to their "natural" side?? We have the civil system to control the nature in us and live responsibly and it is no doubt a burden on society to have girls and guys going out and doing their thing and coming back to find compromising systems... my only hope is it would encourage people to debate more openly about these things and come up with a working and not a compromising solution to the problem of teen pregnancies.

Both the main leads have done well for their part...it didn't look like Sheena has just made a debut with the kind of talent she has....and hopefully she'll continue to do good work.Both of them fit their roles perfectly.

In the end it is a totally entertaining movie for people to take it as just that and nothing else. Having kids watch it can be a bit problematic as this movie ends up justifying and to some level sweeten what is supposed to be a bad example. My advice is to handle it like having a kid. Watch it with love but do it responsibly ;)

Dev.D (2009)

Its not just a movie!!!! Its a master piece of expression

[9/10 · 18 May 2009]

Nothing comes to mind to the likes of what I got to see in this 2 and half hour long or so unpredictable fiesta that digs deep into the heart and mind of a delusional lover. Its as if the character gets inside of you and takes you on an endless journey of painful joy. every moment is restless and unremitting and yet you want to go on and explore much like the main protagonists go about their lives.

So what have you? A revamped version of a deadbeat spoilt rich lover kid who spirals down the path of self betrayal and loneliness ending up alienated to everything in the world even his own love for whose sake he gave it all up initially, An unforgiving yet kind, level headed beauty who tells her lover this that he loves nothing but himself as if to console her own loss for which she portrays little or no sympathy, and then you come across the worst of the worst possible love trader who sells her heart every night to the highest bidders and like sweet poison even destroys that which breeds her. Here there is no hope no sympathy and no love as well and the only thing that stays constant is the feeling of being lonely in this overcrowded and saturated world. Yet they all survive and strive to prosper.

Its not for the weak hearted to endure or the narrow minded to understand the intensity of this movie which keeps every aspect of Dev's life raw. He doesn't comes across as being the kind you'd take a liking for or sympathize with. His words are not the kind which would evoke mercy on his condition. His actions are provocative. With all this he manages to still bind with the viewer just like Chanda who is as repulsive in character as attractive in physical traits. Nothing is what it seems to be or so we would like to believe just like Dev would on his escapist trips.

The movie belongs to Anurag Kashyap for his unique direction on a subject often so many times portrayed on screen in Indian cinema yet never taken to these depths of realism. I have seen his other movies and had high expectations on this one which it topped up easily. Abhay Deol may or may not win an award for this but he definitely should do well to grab some more great opportunities that he truly deserves after this performance. The songs throughout blend well and are worth listening to.

Its been quite some time since I watched this movie but I cant seem to get it out of my head and so couldn't resist writing this review. I hope this movie is not going to be one of the exceptions in Indian cinema and there will be more to follow.

Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi (2008)

I want my money and precious time back...

[1/10 · 12 January 2009]

Grrrr......I took my friend who is a crazy SRK fan to watch this "Rab Ne..." thing thinking at least she might enjoy and I'll enjoy her company as I already had known how bad this movie is.

But it turned out to be so pathetic that even my SRK crazy friend also couldn't bear it and decided to wait hopelessly post interval that something good might come. Eventually she quit just 15-20 minutes before the "climax" if thats what you can call it. We moved out of the theatre to do better things on a lazy Sunday evening but lost so much time already waiting for some "chamatkar"(miracle) from Rab(God) or "Rab Ne...". My friends condition was similar to that of Anoushka(Tanni) in a scene when she is watching some movie and runs out of the theatre away from SRK. I wonder if that was an ironic hint for the audience as well.

The performance of Shahrukh(Surinder Sahni) is so predictable and irritating that it would make a brain tumor look merciful. Anoushka(Tanni) forgot to join acting classes before entering this venture and Aditya Chopra needs to revisit direction classes. Even the songs seemed too forced in certain situations and the chemistry between the lead pair is flat as it was supposed to be touching. In a love story there is supposed to be love and not compromise + "good luck" which it appears to be in this case.

Also I heard a lot of praise about Vinay Pathak's(Sahnis friend) performance. Firstly, he doesn't fit the role of a guy who can produce a makeover by just shaving someones moustache. And then he seems to be competing with Shahrukh Khan in the over-acting business looking more like the audiences worst enemy than Surinder's best friend.

Thanks Yash Raj for proving once more that you'll are up for producing only rehashed bull which we the audience are supposed to digest at any cost.

Everyone please take a prescription from your doctor for severe headache and nausea if you plan on visiting this movie.

Slumdog Millionaire (2008)

Watch it at least once while you are still alive

[6/10 · 25 December 2008]

The movie has already earned a lot of praise,recognition and awards till now and hopefully will go a long way into becoming one of the most watched classics like 'GodFather','The Dark Knight',''Pulp Fiction',etc.

Being from the city Mumbai around which most of the movie revolves I can relate to the kind of philosophy this movie follows. It has got a lot of dark and ugly moments. But behind or inspite of these horrible aspects of life there are certain light and beautiful elements and characters that when discovered give hope that survival is possible even in the most unreasonable conditions. This is what makes disgusting look surprisingly awesome at times like many of the scenes in this movie.

One aspect of this movie is the literal story about a filthy and uneducated "Chaiwala" becoming a millionaire having to suffer an ordeal and his gruesome past with the lost love of his life. But there are many other aspects of this movie each telling their own story from the history of one of the toughest cities in the world to the scandals of child abuse and an apathetic system. In the midst of all of this you find the most unlikely thing called romance and its not as typical as your girl meets boy.

The director has done a good job at keeping the story as real as possible although it is just a work of fiction. In a sense many of the things in the movie do happen in a non-glamorous way in a normal Mumbaiites life. He has offered a glimpse in the psyche of some of those devastated by the workings of this city. This movie's success belongs to Danny Boyle because of the way each of its crucial scenes have been dramatised.

The actors look real too and apart from Anil Kapur and Irfann Khan, everyone is fresh in this movie. Most if not all have done a good job at depicting the directors vision. My only complain is that sometimes they do appear to be more sophisticated than the people whom they act as in the story the main reason being that English is largely used in this movie, understandably so to cater to international audiences.

But I want to clarify that people in India do speak English although not the uneducated especially those living a low life. Being an Indian I found it distracting at times that the actors were speaking in English ever so often because we are not used to seeing a character of an Indian policeman or a gangster speaking it let alone being fluent. Also this movie is not about Mumbai or India in general because we have a vast culture and this is just a dark variation of it.

Go ahead and watch this movie with or without expectations, you are going to be satisfied enough to watch it again some other time.

Desh Drohi (2008)

OMG this movie makes it to the Hall of Fame!!!

[10/10 · 14 December 2008]

Let me clarify by saying that this would be the best worst movies I have ever watched

The first time I saw the lead hero I thought they were just showing some "Extra cast" as they call it running from the main lead. But it turned out to be our "Hero" as they call it much to my amazement and "delight". Then you see that he really fits the role being kicked arround and swindled easily by everyone like a typical "Laluu". Voila! the heroine comes to the rescue ala "Jhansi ki rani" on a bike instead of a horse with a helmet to hide her face in case anybody notices that she is Gracy Singh from the Oscar running movie "Lagaan" which was her first movie. Looks like our Laluu has a thing for dames on bikes and bicycles his first one being Miss bicyclist - Hrishitta bhatt again a renowned face. God knows what Jhansi ki rani and Miss bicyclist had in mind when they signed for this movie but bless their souls for having to go through the torture of dancing and singing with one of the most Laluu characters ever seen leading a movie.

As for Mr. Laluu he keeps ruing about the fact that he is still alive, kills 5-6 policemen and politicians with one bullet, penetrates the most toughest security perimeters with gravity defying jumps and stunts and keeps crying about his dead grandpa and his dreams. Jhansi ki raani lends the Mithunda touch to the movie and strangely looks more masculine than our Mr. Laluu. In fact I suspect that both these characters are confused about their sexuality and therein find compatibility. Cant wait to see what their next generation turns out to be.

This movie is meant to be watched friends at a time when people have nothing better to do but ridicule, debase and insult someone from the bottom of the heart and laugh at it like a devil. Please Please watch this 8th wonder of the world in its pure ugliness.

Dostana (2008)

Another over the top bollywood comedy

[5/10 · 19 November 2008]

If you are a person who doesn't enjoy Gay, over the top and sometimes double meaning jokes then seriously don't venture into this movie.

Also if you are expecting a movie that gives some kind of meaningful message in the end then too don't enter.

This movie is mostly for regular bollywood movie goers who can digest some ridiculous moments and unrealistic scenes that seem to be challenging some common sense. Don't have too many expectations and you wont be disappointed.

Its got some great cinematography and choreography with a lot of glitz and shine but the screenplay is flawed and keeps twisting and turning sometimes drawing genuine laughs and sometimes falling flat.

The acting is good with Abhishek as the best among all and the Oomph quotient is taken care of by John and Priyanka. Abhisheks comic timing is perfect even making some ridiculous scenes funny.

As for the story one line would be enough but I guess everyone has read it already and don't expect any big surprises.

The only reason I think most people would like to see this movie is because of its sensational and taboo concept of Gays in bollywood movies for the first time. And if you are really curious to know what it looks like be ready to get a lot more than you asked for.

Saw V (2008)

Fine Resurrection of a Probably "dead" franchise

[5/10 · 7 November 2008]

I went into Saw V with the curiosity of how they would manage to tell the story where almost all major characters have been unraveled. Having watched the previous ones I was expecting a sequel that does not follow the same path as its predecessors but at the same time makes sense enough to take the almost ended story to a new level. From this perspective the movie was somewhat gratifying as it answered some hanging questions after the abrupt end of Saw 4 and gave a new start to it too.

I would empathize with those who could not enjoy this movie as much as I did considering that the concept of the story is now a bit old and reknown. But the movie does have a lot of engrossing moments and does not seem to compromise in its entertainment value. You cannot expect a completely fresh and different approach altogether in context of the on-going story since last 4 movies. It is a feat itself to have come up with a 5th one for such a complicated movie. I am still a fan curiously waiting for the next one.

Kismat Konnection (2008)

Better "Luck" next time Shahid!!!!!!

[2/10 · 20 July 2008]

(This review is an open letter to Shahid who is the main lead of this movie)

Hey shahid what happened to you dude?? I missed you a lot in this movie because I thought it was going to be you but it turned out be an imitation of shahrukh. Everything looks so cute from the top but logic doesn't apply. Like your pairing with Vidya Balan. You look too young for her and in some scenes you both are like chalk and cheese.

You acted good in some scenes but the dialogues were so silly like when you tried to make karan and priya happy by taking both sides. And where did you find Juhi Chawla who went over the top in almost all her scenes. May be you thought that we would laugh at some of the predictable jokes. Maybe you thought that we would be happy to believe that Priya finds "true love" in you. Maybe you thought that we would like the way your luck flip flops predictably. Maybe you thought that your speech in the movie was inspiring for the audience. Whatever it was, you made a wrong decision for your "Kismat" as this movie didn't "Konnect" at all with us.

Anyways Id like to gift these two stars to you. Keep them safe as a lucky charm. As for Aziz Mirza and the writers of this movie, the less the said the better. Best of "luck" for the future.

Regards, Yours "fate"fully A well wisher

Jaane Tu... Ya Jaane Na (2008)

Riding High with Imran Khan!!!!!

[8/10 · 5 July 2008]

Some guys make a movie that looks like a bomb but splashes on screen like just another pebble in the water, but jaane tu yaa jaane naa is definitely not that type of movie. Its a movie everyone can connect with but cant predict at the same time, totally down-to-earth yet entertaining. There's been a lot of expectations from the movie as everyone was wondering if aamir khan the producer could deliver another movie of the kind after a spectacular feature presentation called Taare Zameen Par.

What seemed really likable to me was the unique story telling experience where you get the feeling that you are listening to your own friends telling you a story. Its difficult to retell it without the help of these friends who blended so well with the story. The complex nature of the relation between a boy and a girl, their bonding, separation and other aspects of the story sound like a typical love movie but there is freshness in this approach. All characters fall in place and don't seem to dominate each other. The dialogues are very memorable...my personal favorite is about the "Violent Streak"

Ratna Pathak who plays the protective mom and Naseerudin Shah who plays the royal father have taken funny scenes to the best possible level.

Ginelia looked convincing in her role but she needs to work on her voice a bit. She has her shining moments and delivers well.

Finally this movie was about Imran khan and like its ending the best part is reserved for him. He is bound to become the next chocolaty hero after this movie but its a long journey for him right now which he has started with a big leap. His simple next door boy looks combined with good comic timing and right kind of acting will win him a lot of fans.

This movie is good to watch with friends preferably college friends because it brings out a lot of shared fun moments one has had in the past. Please don't miss it or you will be sorry. Thanks Aamir Khan for making this movie!!