Transported to Barsoom, a Civil War vet discovers a barren planet seemingly inhabited by 12-foot tall barbarians. Finding himself prisoner of these creatures, he escapes, only to encounter Woola and a princess in desperate need of a savior.
In a hospital on the outskirts of 1920s Los Angeles, an injured stuntman begins to tell a fellow patient, a little girl with a broken arm, a fantastic story of five mythical heroes. Thanks to his fractured state of mind and her vivid imagination, the line between fiction and reality blurs as the tale advances.
The hot-headed young D'Artagnan along with three former legendary but now down on their luck Musketeers must unite and defeat a beautiful double agent and her villainous employer from seizing the French throne and engulfing Europe in war.
Paul W.S. Anderson
Eons after the Gods won their mythic struggle against the Titans, a new evil threatens the land. Mad with power, King Hyperion (Mickey Rourke) has declared war against humanity. Amassing a bloodthirsty army of soldiers disfigured by his own hand, Hyperion has scorched Greece in search of the legendary Epirus Bow, a weapon of unimaginable power forged in the heavens by Ares. Only he who possesses this bow can unleash the Titans, who have been imprisoned deep within the walls of Mount Tartaros since the dawn of time and thirst for revenge. In the king's hands, the bow would rain destruction upon mankind and annihilate the Gods. But ancient law dictates the Gods must not intervene in man's conflict. They remain powerless to stop Hyperion...until a peasant named Theseus (Henry Cavill) comes forth as their only hope. Secretly chosen by Zeus, Theseus must save his people from Hyperion and his hordes. Rallying a band of fellow outsiders - including visionary priestess Phaedra (Freida Pinto) ... Written by
The Thief says his name is Stavros. This translates as Cross and is one of the most common Christian names in Greece, referring to the death of Jesus. But it is very out of place in a story set long before Christianity was established. See more »
Good to see you're still alive. Worried that cow had gotten the best of you.
It almost did. She saved my life.
Looks like she did more than that.
[Looks down embarrassed]
Just 'cause you have that bow doesn't mean I'm going to treat you any differently.
Good. We march to the monastery.
[Turns and starts walking away]
We have a war to fight.
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In the trailer, they mentioned prominently it was from the 300 producers, probably to entice 300 fans into watching it. Well, what difference does the director make then! This is from the guy who directed The Cell (with Jennifer Lopez) and more recently Mirror, Mirror (with Julia Roberts). Here, the director was rather good with the visuals (as he usually is) but managed to tell a weak disjointed story where we don't really care about the characters or the proceedings. It felt as if some important transitional or plot scenes were left on the cutting floor (no, they're not in the deleted scenes). For example, a few times I didn't know why certain characters were at a certain place. Finding the main artifact felt nonsensical and anti-climatic. The acting was mundane, the characters kinda thin, except perhaps for the gruff villain played by Mickey Rourke and Zeus (in his different incarnations) who were more somewhat complex and interesting. A speech by the hero obviously intended to be stirring actually felt corny, and had for me the opposite effect. Perhaps worst of all, the chemistry between two of the leads was absent making their romance feel rushed and unbelievable.
You would think the battle scenes might have saved this. Here again, they felt underwhelming as if we had seen them done better somewhere else. The exception to this would be when the gods actually battled with their super speed. Unfortunately, the main menace, the Titans, were not only mythologically inaccurate but severely disappointing. A bunch of similar-looking, savage, mute, human-sized blokes. The half-dozen Greek gods were a bunch of mostly unidentified pretty boys (and one woman) with ridiculous helmets. Since this is a movie based on a myth, you might expect mythological creatures. Nothing there except the human-like Gods and Titans. Even the Minotaur was a human with a metal grid helmet. The saving grace might be the visuals that offered a kind of otherworldly surreal look similar but weaker than 300. It also had very few locations. All in all, Immortals should be ashamed of even being mentioned anywhere close to the great 300. It's even weaker than the mediocre Clash of the Titans. Immortals doesn't work as an epic fantasy and it doesn't work as a decent retelling of the myth and not just because it's so inaccurate.
Rating: 3 out of 10 (Poor)
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