hwgrayson Reviews

Total Reality (1997)

"This car blows up and knocks out eight cops?"

[4/10 · 13 June 2024]

Most time travel movies don't make a lot of sense and this one is no different. It starts in the future (confusing space battles) then mostly takes place in 1998 before returning to the future two hundred years hence. It basically 'The Dirty Dozen' but with only four people. None of the characters are appealing and the action scenes are rather risible. Our 'heroes' are basically villains and the 'villains' they are pursuing back in time have a more noble cause. None of the actors impress though Misa Koprova as Wingate and some proper pyrotechnics do provide visual value to the movie. At the end Wingate goes back to the future and her deadly neck implant has mysteriously disappeared even though her space ship and herself have not. Didn't make sense.

Kommissar X - Drei blaue Panther (1968)

"You look like a traffic cop who's run out of business"

[5/10 · 9 June 2024]

An underpowered 'Kommissar X' film set in exotic...Canada. Smiling Jo Louis Walker and grumpy Captain Tom Rowland are on the track of $3,00,000 worth of stolen jewellery and there are the usual chases, fights and double crosses that become a little boring at times. Tony Kendall as Walker and Brad Harris as Rowland spar as usual in this series but in this fifth entry it seems rather perfunctory. The energetic fight scenes are entertaining though. There aren't any memorable villains and the final plot twist is plainly foreseeable. Apart from the Montreal Exposition the visuals are uninteresting. Marcello Giombini does contribute a film score that has its moments but is mostly forgettable. There are other much better movies in the 'Kommissar X' franchise.

Fast Workers (1933)

"All men say nice things to a girl"

[6/10 · 8 June 2024]

Two steelworkers, Gunner and Bucker, are good buddies but a girl called Mary gets between them but in the end they stay friends and jettison Mary. So there is a happy ending of sorts. Unfortunately all three characters are difficult to sympathise with making the love triangle not that interesting. John Gilbert as Gunner and Robert Armstrong are adequate enough. Better still is the always under rated Mae Clarke as Mary but her role isn't well written. I enjoyed more the supporting actors like Sterling Holloway as Pinky and Vince Barnett as Spike. Their interactions were most amusing. The direction by Tod Browning was staid. Romantic films were not really in his wheelhouse. An OK movie but not riveting.

Sisu (2022)

"When we get back they will hang us all"

[7/10 · 8 June 2024]

I was exhausted by the end of the film but it was a nice tiredness like the one you have at the end of a gruelling walk. The story is simple, a Finnish prospector trying to get his gold back from the Nazi soldiers who stole it from him. But the prospector is no ordinary man. He is a legendary ex-soldier given the name 'The Immortal' and he is played splendidly by Jorma Tommila. You feel every wound he gets but that does not impede him, he has 'sisu'! The other cast members do well, particularly Aksel Hennie as the soldier in command Bruno and Mimosa Willamo as Aino who isn't in it that much but makes her presence felt. Her speech about why she was laughing is compelling. The action is awesome, the cinematography excellent and the bleak Lapland landscape adds to the gritty ambience. I was gripped all the way through.

Infiltrators (2014)

"He was driven by ideology. I'm interested in profits"

[2/10 · 6 June 2024]

An 'infiltrator' or urban explorer and his female sidekick are tasked with entering a building due for demolition and retrieve some ancient artifacts, that is some coins, which seem to have religious significance of some kind. Am not sure. Other people are after the coins so most of the film is a cat and mouse chase in the doomed building while the time to the demolition ticks away. Which all sounds good but it is most tedious and none of the characters are interesting. The character of Micki is wearingly annoying and her change of loyalty near the end is downright ridiculous. Perhaps a better actress might have pulled it off but not the one who is in the movie. The only visually appealing moment was when the building itself was blown up at the end.

Odysseus: Voyage to the Underworld (2008)

"Skilful lies tell a near truth"

[6/10 · 5 June 2024]

King Odysseus and some of his warriors (plus the poet Homer) are returning home after fighting in the Trojan War when they are lured or forced to an island of mists where dwell murderous bat-like creatures and their mother the evil Persephone. It's a low budget movie as reflected in the lacklustre CGI monsters and the limited locations but I quite enjoyed it. The eeriness of the island was well conveyed and the danger to the characters was plausible and palpable. Arnold Vosloo as Odysseus was excellent, convincing as a king and a warrior. The supporting cast of soldiers were good too except for the guy playing young Homer who was out of place and time in a mythological movie. Stefanie von Pfetten was pleasant to look at as the duplicitous Persephone. Not the best film of its genre but not as bad as some have expressed.

Tales from the Other Side (2022)

"Have you got something against being bad?"

[2/10 · 4 June 2024]

If you have a horror anthology film if one story isn't good at least there will be another one coming along. This has six tales and a framing story and unfortunately all of them are dire. Roslyn Gentle plays Scary Mary who narrates the stories. They are all predictable and some of them don't even make sense like 'Either/Or' and 'Crystal Ball' and 'Blood Red' and 'Krampus vs Elf' is just inane. There are a lot of people in the cast but the only one who stands out is the great Vernon Wells as William in the 'Flicker' segment. Most of the cast are teeth-achingly awful and that includes the adult as well as the child actors. The scariest part of the movie was the credits sequence at the start using child-like drawings. After that the movie went downhill.

Knife of Ice (1972)

"She's a human avalanche, that girl"

[6/10 · 1 June 2024]

Not a full blooded giallo but a murder mystery set in the Spanish countryside starring Carroll Baker as Martha Caldwell who is not able to speak due to a childhood trauma and who is surrounded by murders that seem to point to her own murder. Ms. Baker plays her part well and has to convey emotion by visual and physical means, which she does convincingly. Not a thrilling movie but it looks appealing in 'Technicolor' and 'Techniscope' and the supporting cast are competent enough. Director Umberto Lenzi tones down his usual excesses which may recommend this movie to some but not to all. Marcello Giombini provides a decent music score. The film is less giallo and more Agatha Christie. I liked the film and didn't work out who the killer was, so in that way it worked well. But then I never get the killer right in any mystery anyway.

Velocity Trap (1999)

"What are you doing? They're all asleep!

[3/10 · 1 June 2024]

This film takes place in a future that is well realised by the special effects and set designs. But that is where the positives end. Otherwise it is mainly 'Die Hard' on a spaceship, carrying paper currency, travelling at light speed. And is not exciting or thrilling. I almost fell asleep twice watching this routine action movie. None of the characters are likeable. Our hero Ray Stokes is played by action actor with an accent Olivier Gruner and he can't emote with any conviction. The villains are not threatening and are mainly stupid. The twist with crew member Cruz made no impact. The dialogue attempts to be witty at times but just falls flat. A snooze inducing movie.

Gods of the Deep (2023)

"Deep sea gigantism on an epic scale!"

[3/10 · 23 May 2024]

There's a lot of shouting and screaming in this movie which the cast seem to have mistaken for acting. There wasn't a character in the film that convinced on any level and sometimes I just didn't understand what was going on, partly due to the frenetic editing. There was an undersea vessel and a tentacled monster which basically was the plot. It aimed to be Lovecraftian but it had no suspense, dread or awe. On a low budget it is difficult to convey these things of course. The appearance of the Chthulu creature moving stiffly is more silly than frightening. The ending is a total non-surprise. When the woman awoke in the hospital I thought, she's got a monster inside her! And so it transpired. Boring film.

God Told Me To (1976)

"There were a lot of elements in that case that couldn't be explained"

[6/10 · 22 May 2024]

The first half of the film is really gripping as detective Peter Nicholas tries to solve lots of homicides by people claiming that their motive for their acts was that God told them to do the killings. It is not only gripping but scary. Then the film starts to fall apart as UFO abductions become part of the story and Nicholas discovers he is really an alien. I think. The film's promise unfortunately is never fulfilled. Some of the acting is excellent; Tony Lo Bianco as Nicholas who becomes more disturbed as the movie proceeds, the great Richard Lynch as the barefoot alien bathed in sickly yellow light (a nice touch that) and veteran Sylvia Sidney who is only in one scene but who is very moving. It's worth watching but the conclusion is underwhelming and the last line of dialogue makes no sense.

Hercules the Avenger (1965)

"You're son will be a man when he returns"

[5/10 · 19 May 2024]

As I was watching this I started to think, I've seen some of this before. And indeed some scenes are taken from Reg Park's previous films, 'Hercules Conquers Atlantis' and 'Hercules in the Haunted World', both from 1961. What is original isn't terrible but the whole movie doesn't hang together well. It is like watching three separate films. As usual with a peplum production it does look good in 'Technicolor' and 'Techniscope' and there is nothing wrong with the sets and costumes, it is just too fragmentary to be gripping. Reg Park is his usual amiable self but it was a shame that his last movie of five as a muscular leading man wasn't worthy of his talents. The previous four movies were much better.

Destination Moon (1950)

"Do we go to lunch or do we go to the moon?"

[6/10 · 18 May 2024]

Four astronauts go to the moon and come back. An early example of a science fiction film in colour some of it does look fine, particularly the Chesley Bonestell matte paintings making the moon, which is not the prettiest of heavenly bodies, into something fascinating. It takes the crew half an hour to prepare for take off, half an hour to travel to the moon and half an hour on the moon which makes it more like a three-act play but there isn't much drama as the film makers were going for something more sober and realistic. The crew themselves are not that interesting and the comic relief wasn't amusing. It evinces early optimism about space travel so for that alone it deserves a watch despite the plodding narrative.

Last Gasp (1995)

"Maybe it's in the executive washroom"

[6/10 · 17 May 2024]

A property developer Leslie Chase comes under a curse after killing some Totecs who are hindering his development project. Years later he comes into conflict with the wife of one of his victims, Nora Weeks. The story is interesting with thrills and gore to pepper it up. Chase is played by Robert Patrick with mainly one expression but he does convince as the doomed victim of the cult. Even better is Joanna Pacula as Nora, giving a dignified but determined performance. Also liked Vyto Ruginis as the mop-haired private detective Ray Tattinger, but unfortunately he gets killed too early in the film. The last minute twist is painfully predictable. Otherwise the movie did hold my attention throughout its 93 minute runtime.

Deadly Manor (1990)

"What's next? Uncle Fester on the patio?"

[3/10 · 17 May 2024]

Nothing in this film hasn't been seen before hundreds of times. Group of allegedly young people, seemingly empty house, spooky things start to happen, persons get killed. The cast are not that interesting and it is difficult telling them apart. At each killing I was thinking, who was that then? These low budget horror films always assume the characters have never seen a low budget horror film. Ridiculous. I did like the creepy house itself and the pillared monument with the crashed car in it but those were the only visual felicities. The director José Ramón Larraz seems to have a cult following which has always puzzled me. A movie not worth the watch.

Breeders (1997)

"You look like one of the new students"

[3/10 · 11 May 2024]

An alien comes to planet earth to do a bit of breeding with female students at a college in Boston, Mass, (not Boston, England) where by some chance he lands in a meteor exactly outside the front door. Which was lucky. The plot of the film limps along in a tedious way with nothing original or arresting. Not a lot made sense, particularly the behaviour of the characters. Nobody stood out in the cast but I did like the look of the rubbery monstrous alien. He seemed to have a roguish smile sometimes but that may have been my misreading of the alien not having seen many aliens in my life. The basement under the college seemed to stretch for miles and included a sewer and a pit full of fire and water where the monster met his doom! Real estate in Boston, Mass must be pretty awesome.

The Fifth Floor (1978)

"Nobody believes a psycho"

[6/10 · 11 May 2024]

A disco hostess Kelly McIntyre is incarcerated in a mental heath unit when she actually sane, being wrongly suspected of attempting suicide. Things go badly for her. It's a mixture of exploitation and genuine drama and doesn't quite work as either but it is held together by some good performances, particularly the actresses Dianne Hull, Patti D'Arbanville, Sharon Farrell and Julie Adams. Top billed Bo Hopkins goes over the top as the sleazy warder Carl. There is a good music score by Alan Silvestri and a catchy song called 'Fly Away' warbled by Pattie Brooks. The dancing in the disco is... well, of its time. The film claims it is based on a true story. It was better than I expected.

No Orchids for Miss Blandish (1948)

"I'm pretty fussy about who I take up a dark alley"

[6/10 · 11 May 2024]

One can understand why the film was controversial in 1948 but looking at it now if you accept it as British film makers trying to be more American in content and atmosphere it is a pretty good movie. There is an air of fatalism which doesn't presage a happy ending. It is violent for the time but looks tame now. I enjoyed the performances most; imported actor Jack La Rue as the gangster tamed by love, Walter Crisham as the slimy Eddie, Lilli Molnar as tough Ma Grissom, MacDonald Parke as the wise Doc, not to mention welcome character actors like Danny Green, Michael Balfour (excellent) and Sydney James. And of course Linden Travers as Miss Blandish, who is riveting. Ms. Travers was woefully underused by the British film industry of the time even though she always gave a vivid performance. Cinema's loss.

Assignment K (1968)

"We can start an avalanche that way"

[5/10 · 9 May 2024]

The movie looked good in 'Techniscope' and 'Technicolor' and the outdoor locations In Germany, Austria and England were attractive but the narrative was rather dull and too much time is given to the romance between the Stephen Boyd and Camilla Sparv characters. Their scenes needed fast forwarding. Am not sure anyway what the story was about and the two plot twists at the end could be seen a country mile away. I did enjoy some of the acting; Leo McKern as the spy master, Jane Merrow as his comely assistant, Geoffrey Bayldon as the boffin and a disappointingly hardly seen Michael Redgrave as Harris of Department K. At no point did the film become exciting or gripping.

Angel on the Amazon (1948)

"How can I thank you if I don't know who you are?"

[5/10 · 6 May 2024]

The opening scenes in the jungle with the plane crash (great model work from the Lydecker Brothers) and the mysterious woman and the drumming that stops suddenly are good but when the film leaves the jungle for the city it becomes a strange if not absurd romantic plot about a woman who doesn't age due to a traumatic encounter with a panther. (!) With stronger casting it might have worked but main leads Vera Ralston and George Brent are their usual acting selves, that is boring. They have no spark between them. Constance Bennett as Dr. Karen Lawrence was much more interesting as was Brian Aherne as the forsaken husband though he isn't in it much. Odd but forgettable.

Psychotic (2012)

"What are you trying to escape?"

[3/10 · 4 May 2024]

This took a bit of endurance to get through. The story got more preposterous as it went along with people falling into a medical machine of some kind and their eyes turning black (!) and a child who seems to be living in the basement of an asylum with no one ever noticing and many lines of psychological blather that didn't make sense. The characters range from dull to being hilariously over the top and their motivations were opaque. The actors weren't served well by the unfocused script, though the actors themselves were not convincing in any way. The ending of the film was left open suggesting a sequel but the movie didn't deserve one.

Assault on VA-33 (2021)

"Nothing ever happens in sleepy Oakside"

[4/10 · 4 May 2024]

'Die Hard' in a veteran's hospital. And that's the plot in a nutshell. There are several poor things about this movie but mainly I was peeved at the waste of Michael Jai White and Mark Dacascos, who had insultingly thin roles. It would have been much better if they played hero and villain respectively. The fighting would have been more plausible and a face-off between them would have been awesome. Instead we have a bland main lead in Sean Patrick Flanery and an unthreatening chief villain in Weston Cage with a beard. Rob Van Dam stayed in a van ineffectively. There was plenty of shooting but mostly accompanied by unrealistic CGI blood. A low budget film with no frills and no thrills.

Dressed to Kill (1941)

"After I catch the murderer you can have a nervous breakdown if you like"

[6/10 · 3 May 2024]

Private eye Michael Shayne is about to get married but instead gets side tracked by a double murder in an hotel next to a theatre. A lively and solid entry in the Michael Shayne series with Lloyd Nolan in good form as Shayne. The plot makes sense and it is enhanced by some cracking dialogue. The supporting actors include Henry Daniell as an actor under suspicion, Erwin Kalser as the hard of hearing theatre porter, Milton Parsons as the lugubrious red herring and William Demarest as the excitable police inspector; all of whom add to the entertainment. Director Eugene Forde keeps the momentum going nicely to make the 74 minutes most enjoyable.

Someone at the Door (1936)

"We are not trained to think in the police force, sir"

[5/10 · 1 May 2024]

Narracott Manor is the location where a brother and sister try to organise a journalistic scam to make money and also where hidden loot from a robbery is sought by a group of villains. It has comedy that's not amusing and mystery that's not difficult to fathom. The title 'Someone At The Door' is apt as the poor door knocker bangs constantly. You can see it work as the stage play it derives from and by mainly taking place in one location but as a film it is just mediocre. Of the cast I liked bulky Noah Beery as the ambiguous Harry Capel, Edward Chapman as the unfriendly butler Price and Hermione Gingold in a brief but hilarious cameo as the gloomy Lizzy. Unfortunately Billy Milton as the brother Ronnie is exceedingly irritating. The movie was remade in 1950.

The Getaway (1994)

"I didn't think you could handle the truth"

[6/10 · 29 April 2024]

A generally OK version of the 1972 original but it is too long and after the excitingly staged heist at the dog track and the early demise of the James Wood slimy villain character (Benyon) the film for me got less interesting and rather unbelievable. Baldwin (Doc) and Basinger (Carol) were not sympathetic characters and Michael Madsen's Rudy was way over the top to the point of undue hilarity. (The chicken and fries scene!) I appreciated more the side characters played by Jennifer Tilly, David Morse, Burton Gilliam and Philip Seymour Hoffman, the latter whom sadly had too little screen time. Mention should be made of Mark Isham's thrilling film score. And the cute kitten that shamefully didn't get an acting credit. The movie was OK.