suhaibalazzeh Reviews

Spartacus: Victory (2013) Season 3, Episode 10

Spartacus stood victorious at last

[10/10 · 31 March 2024]

All men shall die but not all men die with honor after trying their very best , Crixus' death was a foreshadowing of what it is to come of Spartacus after his passing . They will not live forever that is a fact but can they be remembered as men with honor and seeking a just cause ? The answer was yes . Spartacus' name is what any freedom fighter shall cherish other than any roman leader in history the likes of Crassus or Glaber whom they could've been replaced easily or swayed with political favors but not the likes of any Spartcus , Gannicus or any main comrade that aided his mission . The final moments of the battle when Pompeii showed up to snatch the win from Crassus and his fellow Cesar (who got raped earlier ) did indicate such servitude to what is convenient and not any cause , Crassus lost his son , the title and the woman who loved ounce while Spartacus disappear at the end with a memory of a loving wife, friends and a prophecy fulfilled of achieving great but unfortunate things .

Spartacus: Balance (2012) Season 2, Episode 8

Illythia's son

[1/10 · 30 March 2024]

The sexuality in this show is outrageous like characters do have unprotected sex frequently but i don't seem to recall any female character getting pregnant from such act except for the worst character throughout the whole show. Like what are the odds that all of Spartacus' frequent sexual coituses with his deceased wife Sura and Mira couldn't have possibly bare a child but this one time where it was against his will, he could've not pull out his "cock" and did impregenate Illythia . And what if of Illythia or Lucretia who did make the arrangement back in season 1 where she could've set ground rules to prevent such result ? Why this is a bad writing because the writers sort of did the same thing that happened in Game of Thrones or Prison Break where twists do occur preposterously .

Head-On (2004)

Fatih Akin did it again

[1/10 · 19 January 2024]

This guy loves to make movies about unnecessary drama and why i call it unnecessary because again stupid characters that put themselves in chaotic positions. Lets start with each character to understand why this movie is trash .

Chait : an alcoholic man whose source of gloom is his passed wife befriends the most rational/irrational man whom he warns him about women ,love and all of that. Chait agrees to marry the dumbest girl alive in order to help her from killing herself in exchange of what ?? Nothing . The girl just offered him some money to do the wedding , and to live a new clean flat instead living in a dumb because of all the beer cans inside of it which raises the question that how he is able to afford drinking ,paying for rent ,snorting coke and eating while he is basically jobless .

Sibel: the dumbest female character ever , she wanted to live free or drama free because of her family and wind up causing more drama to them. Sibel is a nymph who her mission in life is either to cut off her wrists without actually dying or go to clubs and get blowed by any random person in there. She blames her family for all of this and her Turkish roots but when she gets her freedom , we often see her shag any person who might talk to her . In her wedding day she does it with a bartender , she seduces Chait's friend Niko and keep on committing depravity even after she practicly destroyed her relationship with her family and her supportive sister who got her a job and a place to stay in but Sibel being dumb chose to.do drugs and getting raped only to tell us that she still love Chahit who is in prison because of her but when he gets out she allure him to love her again and maybe with the intention of moving with him to live the life they should've had from the beginning with no regard to her current husband and daughter whom you might think they are nobel or dumb as well.

Cachit's friend : gives his friend some money to chase off Sibel after his prison relase which is totally dumb .

I am not gonna keep on writing why every character is dumb but rewatch and pay attention to their level of Iq.

The Edge of Heaven (2007)

what a waste of time

[2/10 · 19 January 2024]

This movie is trash because the characters are so stupid like everyone one of them even the professor and i can prove it easily . First :

Ali (The father) is a Turkish widower who resides in Germany think that getting a proustite into his house would be a good idea but the minute she enters his house , he starts asking his son (are you gonna sleep with her ?) and then he started getting drunk everyday over what ? Some woman who tells him to eat waste and doesn't care about him at all?

Yeter (the proustite ) : accepts the old perv's offer , moves in with him only not to be grateful but to be the way she is actually. Like she sells her body in the brothel but in Ali's house she thinks that she is somehow different , She gets scared of some two Turks in the subway who could've easily gotten rid of by going to the police and what a stupid way to die over a slap from a drunk old man who can get off with her.

Nejat: Ali's son who is portrayed as an angel , someone who is willing to give up his career in Germany to search for a mystery girl in Istanbul and resenting his father for accidently killing a proustite cause he has no right not to forgive nor resenting his dad cause he knows that he didn't intend to kill her so what Nejat do in this situation ? Simply , let his old foolish man in Jail and just wasting 2 hours of screen time in search for the prostitue's daugther.

Ayten (the missing girl) : joins the resistance , escapes to Germany and started living as a bum with no intention to work or being a good human being . She is not true to anything like keep on lying to everybody so why she is center of attention ? Cause she wants to bring the twist of telling her naive German girlfriend that there is a gun that been hidden the entire time in someone's roof where the lady in the top floor will let anyone get access to it so the stupid german chick can get the gun and get shot by it .

Charlotte (the stupid german girl ever ) meets the homeless and the rude Ayten and guess what ? She immediately start caring for her ,buying her food , letting her stay in her house and falling for her like Ayten and her mom know how to create a good first impression by acting out their worst .Charlotte gives up on everything to save this homeless person who is a criminal that resents Germany but when she got caught , she immediatly requsted an asylum. Lotte or Charlotte's death was awaited during the movie but since the movie is dumb , she died in a stupid way .

Charlotte's mother : is a total idiot cause she could've simply did a better job at raising her daughter like , she cleans after her and pay a stupendous amount of money for a lawyer in order to free her daughter's girlfriend and at the end she was hated by her daughter. She gives up on her daugther later but she started crying when she learned that she died but why she is stupid here ? Because she didn't bother investigate the people who did it ? Like she could've gotten to Istanbul asking who did this to my girl but nah , she just decided that she must free Ayten from her imprisonment.

And thats it folks , you can see how this movie is a waste of time and energy cause i have never seen in my life a movie full of dumb characters with dumb motives since the Alleys .

Closer (I) (2004)

the worst

[1/10 · 12 October 2023]

When the Doctor found out that his wife has been cheating on him , his line of questioning not only illogical but it shouts cringe . Who the hell talks like that ? His wife is horrible , Dan is horrible and Alice is the worst . Like this movie has four characters that are full of it and you can't really take em seriously . Lets not forget about the chat scene on the internet , 10 minutes been wasted on that . This script belongs to one of the worst dramas ever created , this movie deserve to be on the list of the worst movies ever made . I hate the fact that i had to waste two hours of my life to watch it .

Better Call Saul: Something Unforgivable (2020) Season 5, Episode 10

Kim Wexler

[1/10 · 9 July 2023]

Seriously like what is wrong with her ? This series doesn't provide much about anything . Like why Kim is like this ? Skyler in Breaking Bad couldn't really handle Walt but creating a verison of Skyler where she wants to be with the bad guy for love is something difficult because Saul's character is so unlovable . This guy had so many chances to redeem himself but he chose not to . Making Kim worse than him . Even though she feels uncomfortable when he acts bad towards people , like Chuck's death , or her clients . Kim is complicated that is a fact but her goals and role throughout the series don't make any sense , why Kim does these things ? Well for the sake of getting the story done . Creating a motive for Jimmy or Saul that i am doing this thing for her but he really doesn't . Like Walt , he does it because they thought that he was a loser or some con artist that is not good for anything . This series is not done right and is not giving any credit to anything but Breaking Bad . The case of having to constantly compare between the character of Walt and Jimmy is annoying like in breaking bad the main character was ounce called Walt and then Heisenberg . In Better Call Saul is the same , Jimmy to Saul . Kim is Skyler all of these things make this series more annoying than ever .

The Alleys (2021)

Two stars because its original

[2/10 · 5 January 2023]

Well first of all i am Jordanian and some of the scenes are shot in my neighborhood "Jabal Alnatheef" i was among the people to watch it on Netflix because it got released just yesterday. Even my friend Majeed Abu Al-ragheb playing the doctor starting in it . But why the movie is just terrible not because of the clichés and the terrible dialogue but because of its terrible character development and somehow the theme of the story gone missing at the end . Well , of course the same drama in Hollywood can't be applied in Jordan because we are dealing with different context where special effects are not put to use like exploding cars and police chase. However, the director could've created a better story by simply resorting to guide book on how to write stories since he is the writer . The following aspects are the movie sins : 1. The protagonist Ali doesn't change at all because the Alley where he lives in made him into this. But several points about his character that don't make his situation realistic at all. Ali sees Lana everynow and then but how ? Through climbing down the roof and using her window as a mean to enter her room and with the first scene we see him does so in the bright daylight .Therefore, his relationship with Lana should be common knowledge to everybody since the Alley is on everyone's business .but no the director wants to create a drama without paying attention to details like this. Ali's journey doesn't make any sense , his motives of leaving and his plan are just plain terrible because his decision of robbing Abbas was only there when he was forced to do so .and you can just think about the story more to find out that his character is badly written and even a 5 years old can come up with a better story for him than this but here are couple of pointers ( he works as a guide to tourists to visit night clubs which is something that the hotel staff can do since they give him whether they are probable customers but no that job is only preserved for Ali , and seriously Lana can't you just kiss him with no lights on ? Like you have your boyfriend coming to your room and you two decided to make love at night with the lights on so the blackmailer can get a good quality video .Can't you two just meet in some hotel room every now and then and have fun ? But like i was saying these characters are badly written .

2)Abbas what a wasted potential like Monzar raised the bar on another level where not only he convinced me but his body language is spot on but an actor can't simply carry the whole movie on his shoulder since he was given a terrible scenario to work with .again i am Jordanian and i think this actor is one of the best in the world because i do love watching movies .so what did the director do to his character ?

Simply , ruin his storyline after thirty minutes by turning him into a powerless character with no rage or play to further empower his position in the story. When i first saw what Ali did to him , i was thinking he will bring hell in the whole Alley to discover who did it because every inch in the Alley belongs to him according to his words and the guy who is filming everyone simply didn't have any information to gain anything .Since he is watching everyone and everybody but the director turned it to a social satire on how these hustlers lead a pathetical life with nothing but big words and intimidation which is the thing that ruins Abbas's because you are not introducing a strong villian here but rather someone who get killed easily by a side character with no intent but a speculation that he might behind something . Hanadi's character is the only good thing in this movie because she is into everyone's crap where words like i am not honored to welcome these girls in my hair salon was met by saying i don't care . She took care of business because that's what matters at the end. And she dealt with the enforcers in a very professional manner by telling them to beat it everynow and then. But she couldn't as well do the right thing by setting up an investigation to discover who did stole from Abbas since she is his right hand but that doesn't matter as well because her backstory doesn't make any sense at all lol . Like seriously , a mysterious and charismatic character like her became a bad ass because of an abusive customer not because of a parent abuse or that she means something to Abbas but she is that way because she was a night girl who got harassed like isn't that typical to her co-workers as well ?

Finally , the friend Baha' who turned into Mr. Wolfe from Pulp Fiction by fixing everything to cover for Ali and provide a good closure to his death decides to do the worst imaginable thing that any sane human being will ever do which is comitting murder by simply hiding behind the door of the building that Abbas resides in lol . Like what if Hanadi and Hanash walked in with him ? As far as i can see he has a family to feed and a shop to stay in to work for 20 years but no Mr Wolfe here decided to hide behind that door because he knew for a fact that Abbas will walk inside alone not like every time he does walk with a company of his people and he knew for a fact that stab will leave him dead which it was shot terribly but because the director doesn't really care about directing a good movie he made it that way .but to make it short i will not delve into every character in the movie because all of them are written badly and the central theme of the story is simply lost because it was about someone making a story into something great but it was quite the opposite things did happen in a chaotic manner and there was no fiction involved in it .

Da Vinci's Demons (2013–2015)

The Dumbest show i have ever had to encounter

[8/10 · 24 October 2022]

First of all this show is a disgrace for anyone who understands who Da Vinci was and his lifetime. The show revolves the idea of young Leonardo searching for something called "the book of leaves " along with his mother whom he never met and wishes to see her face. Now , why this show is dumb ?

1. The book of leaves is real and there is an evidence that proves its real , In the first season ,Leonardo invaded the Vatican and was able to see a page of the book but instead of taking the page while he has the upper hand against the pope . He chose just to keep it there without ever returning to it because he was simply focused on acquiring the key to open the vault . Not so smart from the greatest mind of all Europe .

2. Al-Rahim and other characters : how these people just show up from nothing ,espcially Al-Rahim . Like sometimes he is a ghost and sometimes people can see him but this character can be with Davinci everywhere and anytime without giving any explaination . I felt for a second that he is an angel because there is no drug in the world can give people this kind of imagination . Other characters just show to Da Vinci to warn him about things unknown to him , like how his mother is able to show up to tell him about anything really ?

3.the social structure of Italy is ridiculous like one man can enter a palace and kill someone without anyone noticing ? Duke of Urbino was killed along with four men and now Florence is safe and liberated ?? Is this serious ?? Davinci cornered the Duke alone in a face to face combat without any solideres or guards to interfere .

4. The arc of the Island or the Inka people is just straight out ridiculous. Why the priestess was willing to help Leonardo to find his mother and the book of leaves only to get upset when he is close to find it ? What was the point of entering the vault if he is not allowed to open it at the end ?? At least let him open the Valut if the whole place was designed by the gods in order to ensure that her people can use the book .

Finally , i like the fact that the Tv show is using lies just so distort facts about both religions like Christians are just bunch of ainmals lying and killing each other to get power and the muslims are no different .while in reality Christains are not like that and pope Sixtus is not a monstrous pope cultivating plan to unite Italy under the vatican rule but in reality he is quite the oppsite , he may be regarded as one of the best pope's ever to rule the vatican . And during the Ottoman invasion and yes , there were beheadings to the people of Naples that why dear Muslims , that scene where the Turks started killing its prisoners' did happen. Finally , this show is just another ruse to Davinci's life because it lacks any sense of logic and can actually set your iq to zero .

Pulp Fiction (1994)

Trantino's masterpiece

[9/10 · 2 September 2022]

Well, first of all .

This movie never ceases to amaze me on how 2 hours movie can pull so much creativity in it ?

For starters , this movie is not a cheap fiction at all but its a movie that deals with life itself .

To understand this movie one must understand that each line matters and there was no line that is used can mean nothing . First of all . Trantino's didn't change the whole timeline therefore there is no great confusion to what the story is headed but only the first and the final act and thats because its important to understand the lines and the righteous man journey to really appreciate the concept . First of all the made up bible line explains most of the story :

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides By the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will Shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children And I will strike down upon thee With great vengeance and furious anger Those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers And you will know my name is the Lord When I lay my vengeance upon thee

the righteous man is Butch and the evil men can be Marcellus Wallace who controls everyone and drive them to go evil ,because Butch is the righteous man he got saved from Zed's rape attempt because Zed chose to rape Wallace instead of Butch . So the lord Shepard's the weak in the valley of Darkness . For he is his brother's keeper that's why he goes back to save him and the finder of lost children meaning his watch . And the last lines pretty self explanatory thats what happened with Zed .

Therefore , the journey of Juels will probably be the same as Butch after he chose to be a rightoues man , wondering around the earth with God's blessing starting from the bullets , saving Ringo and finding the lost children which is the bag . Thats why Trantino made sure that Juels is safe till the end of the movie . But why this is important ?

Is not because a cheap fiction where you made a line up and you choose to simply have it your way . But because Trantino wants to show why logic is not the key to understand life and this movie heavely talks about life .

Meaning , if you live by logic alone without opening your mind to see more to life than it is .you will understand why the character of Vincent Vega got killed , his logic of leaving the gun outside while using the toilet got him killed , his logic of why foot massage made him look dumb in front of Mia when she said that do you think Wallace would throw a guy out of a balcony just because of a foot massage and thats why the wolf never apologizes for treating him the same way . All of this is because Trantino wants to show that logic is not enough because life is illogical most of the time. All of this is just a way of telling that you gotta live your life expecting everything . Even the fact that Mia took cocaine and overdosed thats why logic is not always right . Mia is the free spirit and the one with Ketchup joke meaning she is squashed by Wallace and thats why the story is not funny but it describes her life a tomato squashed living in a house full of cameras and because Wallace doesn't have the time for her , he hired someone to take her out . See evil again controlling everyone . Finally the bag is the evil that wallace wants thats why 666 is the code to open up the bag .

Why is it a masterpiece ? Because the lines expresses the fate of every character which is a quite genius because i have never seen any movie that quite does that before .

Masgoon Tranzait (2008)

worst Egyptian movie ever made

[1/10 · 2 September 2022]

Hands down the worst movie i had ever to waste my time on . The plot is so stupid , Nour Alshareef can't act at all .

The writer aimed at having a twist after twist but all of it was cliched . The only mystery to me why Ahmad Ezz in this movie ? I can never know .

The plot is so dumb . A thief get caught because he chose to help out his friend , he accidntly kills a security guard during the Heist . He enters jail where he gets a beating at his first day and his friend whom he chose to stick around with doesn't defend him . That causes him to realize that he did a grave mistake and he wants to get out . A corrupt high rank officer enters to his cell convincing him to go on a mission in order to leave this place with a new identity . After compeleting the mission which is to assinate an israeli offical who does his leisure time in a yacht in one of the coasts in Cairo . The theif is given a new identity with a handsome reward to start new life in Kuwait , after 6 years the theif now have a new name which is Abdel Alrahaman and living his life to the fullest with a loving wife and a beautful kid . Having his automobile company gets to have a visit from the same officer to go on another mission to steal from some high offical in egypt. Until Abdel Alrahman causes many troubles inculding his son getting killed . The officer turns out to be a con artist and Abdel Alrahman was just a pawn in his game . He shoots him and then the movie sort of end . Its quite silly concept and the exceution was terrible .

Fargo (2014–2024)

Don't Watch it Please

[3/10 · 2 September 2022]

Actually i didn't enjoy a single episode , my friends told me season 2 is better than s1 which is not the case . The problem with Fargo is the Pulb Fiction of it all . Like there is nothing that make sense in it but in the worst way . Season 1 was all about the connections about the original movie : some shots , character names and whatnot ,However the series didn't take the effort to make it logical instead of creating nonsensical plot twists in every episode . For example : S1. The character Lester decides to kill his wife after having a talk with Lorne Malvo , well for someone who is a coward most of his life i find it very odd that he is capable of doing that . But this is not the messed up part , the fact that Lorne Malvo trusted Lester and made friends with him almost immediately without anything to get back is . Like why would someone like Malvo ever cares about Lester that he goes to kill Sam Hess for free and gives his contact number to Lester killing an officer again for him without getting anything back from him ? The movie does do this , the salesman does hire kidnappers to his wife .

Second of all , why malvo is killing all of these people ? Because he is just a philosopher believing that men must turn into wolves ? Well , is not because he works people up to scam them ?? You can't find a single motive for his character he is just there to create tension . He is poor resemblance of the mute character in the movie where he eventually got arrested but here Malvo was willing to lose his money just because Lester said yes to kill these people in the elevator .

S2. Is way worse cause we see a stupid couple with UFO's to show up every now and then ,there is no genius to it at all . Ed and Piggy all of the sudden decided to be killers , lying to the cops and hiding a body. To realize at the end. That the couple don't really belong to each other after all , like seriously. How many dead bodies there need to be to have them realized that yeah is true that they both are idiots ? Its another cheap copy from Bonnie and Clyde but at Fargo as always change characters' faith so its poor adaptation .

The cop always let people go if you noticed , he let the black guy and the two who pulled a gun at him go , he let hanze get away and he was so poor at doing his job because he couldn't catch lead or solve anything it was all just coincidence which makes his character unlike any crime drama a boring one . He didn't do any arrest to anybody even though people always pull a gun at him .and he didn't even get Ed and Piggy get arrested when he had the chance .

Why Hanzee did what he did ? Because he wanted to build a gang himself or an empire . Well he needed his identity changed and of course alot of money so what is the best way to do that ? Is to kill everyone . He shot people in the street and a restaurant owner and who were the people behind them.it wasn't clear at the end .

This show tries so hard to be smart and entertaining but fails pathetically to introduce a decent tv show . Overrated and cheap .

Naked (1993)

Amazing

[10/10 · 20 August 2022]

This movie is mesmerizing due to the following reasons :

. David Thewlis because he doesn't just give his greatest performance but because i don't think anyone fits for this role other than him . So Kudos to the casting members for carefully selecting this particular cast , it goes to other actors as well who did a great job in making a plotless story into one of the greatest movies in my opinion .

.The story is madly creative in terms of everything , where a lot of narrative devices are used to make it so . First of all , we don't know anything about the characters which make it amazing because you can always speculate especially when they are so interesting and as the story progresses we still are left in dark in weather we yet know anything about them . Especially Johnny an aimless drifter with no clear intention and obstacle to overcome other than himself and his words that he utters at each scene , like he is possessed by some kind of curse that only works if he wakes up . The only scenes where the movie is sort of quiet when he is asleep . Paying attention to small details like that makes this existential crisis themed journey more interesting . The movie deals mainly with the lengths with the way women must be treated .I've watched the movie numerous times but finally i am able to let it go because its so hypnotizing especially the soundtrack .

Diamond Dust (2018)

A disgrace to the novel .

[1/10 · 20 August 2022]

Ahmed Murad wrote Diamond Dust which is a very thrilling novel and it does pay a great attention to details ,However this movie is a huge disappointment to the novel where a very long movie can't a grasp all the side stories in the novel . All of the main characters in the novel are portrayed poorly. The reveals and twists are ridiculous and the screenplay is trying to quote some of the novel's words just to get the idea across . This movie should be remade but in a tv series where each character must be properly portrayed not for the sake of paying tribute to the novel which is a good potential but to deliver better adaptation to the novel as well .