MarKus-371 Reviews

Turn the Other Cheek (1974)

Unforgettable Hill/Spencer flick.

[8/10 · 21 May 2001]

Terence Hill and Bud Spencer have portrayed EVERYTHING. Crooks,pirates,cops,cowboys etc. In this movie they play Priests who sell pepper and coffe on a large boat in europe, while at the same time they preach thier religious teachings. Hillarious fight sequences, funny one-liners, great theme song...this is a must for "Trinity" fans. It may not be the very best of Hill and Spencer but it's up there with thier good films, such as "I'm for the Hipppotamus" and "Who finds a friend, finds a Treasure!" My vote 7/10

Clerks (1994)

Kevin Smith makes awesome movies, BUT...

[3/10 · 28 April 2001]

I've seen a few of Kevin Smith's flicks: "CLERKS", "MALLRATS", "CHASING AMY", "DOGMA" and the all of the animated episodes of CLERKS which are comic gold!, but i believe the CLERKS movie is the worst of them all...and i dont mean that its a good movie but the weakest from Kevin Smith. It's about nothing...2 guys just bitch about thier lives, and worst of all, it's not funny. I kept eyeing the clock while sitting thru this one. All in all, an awful movie that's not worth the rental fee, but dont get me wrong! Rent the sequels mentioned above. Click movie connections on the left hand side of this page in the menu bar to find more info about the sequels. My vote a 3/10

The Hunting Party (1971)

Full of tasteless Gore & Voilence...Awesome Horror flick!

[17 March 2001]

I saw this on the History channel, (god knows why it would be on there) and I thought it was just another drama about some guy's wife being kidnapped, so I changed the channel. After watching something on TBS I changed back to THE HUNTING PARTY, and I was shocked! This is the most violent western i've seen yet, and yes, I have seen CUT-THROATS NINE & DJANGO KILL, IF YOU LIVE SHOOT. The action is phenomenal & those gun wounds were sick. Oliver Reed and his gang decide kidnap & rape Gene Hackmans wife, so Hackman and some hired goons use high-tech rifles with fancy scopes to kill Reed's Gang. I suggest this to people who hate westerns, seeing this one is very violent and bloody...too bad it wasnt released on video. A buddy of mine recorded it and gave me a copy so I'm happy. I think this is a definate must release Anchor Bay Entertainment should look into. My vote 8/10. Excellent!

Man of the East (1972)

A disappointment

[5/10 · 7 March 2001]

Sir Thomas Moore, An eccentric Englishman, is sent to the Wild West by his dying fathers last wish, to teach him how to be a "real" man. He is threatened by a man called Morton, who wants to marry the girl that Hill also wishes to marry. With the help of his 3 friends, Hill learns how to fight and use a gun in case he is challenged by Morton.

Being a fan of Terence Hill movies, I decided to get a bootleg of this movie off a friend. I was told this movie was better then Hill's 2 most famous movies THEY CALL ME TRINITY & TRINITY IS STILL MY NAME. This movie wasn't that funny and the action was just average. Still I enjoyed seeing MAN OF THE EAST, but its nothing special, and a bit overlong I might add. It's worth seeing once if your a Hill/Spencer fan. My vote: **1/2 out of ****

Django Strikes Again (1987)

This movie sucks.

[5/10 · 5 March 2001]

Pretty bad action flick. After seeing the classic western landmark, DJANGO, I had to see the sequel. What a waste of 9 bucks. Franco Nero goes around shooting people with his machine gun after slave traders kidnapp his daughter. The origanal DJANGO has a donwbeat mood/atmosphere (a good thing for that movie) , excellent action, some gore, & most of all, it has style. DJANGO STRIKES AGAIN is just 80's action, and it isnt a western! Please avoid this movie. You will be sorry. I suggest VIVA DJANGO & DJANGO THE BASTARD. Much better spaghetti Westerns.

Gladiator (2000)

How does a B movie like this get so much attention?

[2 March 2001]

This is a good movie? Hmm...it's just a bland action flick, Nothing more. "Gladiator" is more boring than John Carpenters "Halloween". I'm telling the truth when I say I fell asleep watching this. How is "Gladiator" so great? Whats so special about it? Guess i'll never know. Oscar material? I think not. Straight to video garbage. 3/10

Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death (1989)

I didnt laugh once, but I still thought it was great!

[12 February 2001]

Yeah, this should be a cult classic! I know of some cheap terrible spaghetti westerns that are more well know than this, which is a shame. I didnt laugh out loud once, not at all, its still amusing and has some good action in it. There were some funny scenes, like when she wanted to hire the mercenaries, and when Bill Maher tired to teach the Jungle men how to be "real" men! I suggest it to people who love great cheesy B flicks, like myself! This one is a keeper. I give it a 7/10.

Django the Bastard (1969)

SCARY Horror/Spaghetti Western

[12 February 2001]

"DJANGO THE BASTARD" is a real odd horror flick. Usually in horror movies they take place in modern day. The setting for this movie is in 1880's southern states. During the civil war, Army officers sold their entire regiment to the enemy, who brutally massacred them. One survived, (or did he?) and his name is Django. 13 years later he comes back to get revenge on the Officers and kill ANYONE who gets in his way. Some people think Django is supernatural, is he? See the movie to find out. When Django plants the first cross in the ground, at the start, it really freaked me out. He places a cross in the ground with the name of the officer he wants dead, while they're still alive. When ever Django appears it scares me, because he looks like a cold killer who doesnt care if anyone lives or dies. He kills the officers with a gun most of the time or he beats them to death in some gory fashion. In one scene he's kneeling by a campfire, talking to gangsters. When he walks away an explosion occurs killing the gangsters...really scared me because I didn't expect it. This whole movie really gives me the creeps, call me crazy, but it does, it really scares me!, and the horror classic "HALLOWEEN" didnt give me a fright at all. This film is more Horror than spaghetti western, so don't knock becuase it takes place 100 years ago. Definatley on my top 10 Horror List. I give it an 8/10.

Halloween (1978)

Not Scary at All

[11 February 2001]

For years, My buddies think Halloween is the Scariest movie out there. I watch it and all I see is slasher trash. It's long & boring. Why people like it so much? I think "Terror Train" was scarier than this, and that isnt saying much!!!!! I suggest BLACK CHRISTMAS and DEEP RED. Those are 2 terrifying movies! I seem to be the only person who hates "Halloween" so I suggest it to classic slasher fans!

Valentine (2001)

"My Bloody Valentine" is a better slahser.

[5 February 2001]

Yeah, this is just your everyday, normal slasher flick that tries to be horrifying but ends up more funny than scarry. It was entertaining, but not worth paying $7.50. It has some good suspense scenes, and the killers mask was great. I liked the bit where he killed that whinney chick with the power drill, it was hillarious. Yes, this movie is better than the whole "SCREAM" trilogy, much better, but "My Bloody Valentine" and "Be my Valentine, or Else" are more enjoyable, corny, slahers. I give it a 6/10

They Call Me Renegade (1987)

One of my favorite movies...

[9/10 · 3 February 2001]

This is my personal favorite of Terence Hill's solo movies. I know "MY NAME IS NOBODY" is first rate movie making, and it's probably the best movie i've ever seen, but's its not my favorite. "THEY CALL ME RENEGADE" is about Luke Mantie (played by Terence Hill) who is a loner, who just lives on the road, driving his jeep with a trailer attached that his horse, Joe Brown, resides. One day, a 15 year old punk named Matt, played by Terence Hill's son, Ross, tells him that his father, Moose, is in jail and he need to speak to "Renegade" Luke. Luke and Matt drive to the pennitentary and Luke finds out that Moose is in Jail for a crime he didnt commit, and Moose needs Luke to settle down and move in to a house on a big piece of property and become Matt's legal guardian. Luke says NO, so Moose threatens to get his cell mate to forge the papers...child abandonment is a serious offence. Luke and Matt don't get along at first but they start to develop a brother type relationship. They both get in a few ordeals with 2 truckers, screw a whole bar full of drunks out of 500 dollars with a butterfly knife throwing contest and they have to get revenge from an evil Lawyer with the help of a rough Biker Gang. This movie is full of action & comedy, its a classic to me because i've been watching it for years. Where they screw the money out of the drunks is hillarious and the fight between Terence Hill and the lead biker is a grand scene. I recomend this movie to ALL fans of Terence Hill and Bud Spencer movies, action movie goers, or people who are looking for a good "road/buddy" movie. I have seen it for sale in places like WALMART and ZELLERZ for $5, it's definatley worth that much! Rent it, buy it, just see it, you may like it as much as I do!

Who Finds a Friend Finds a Treasure (1981)

Terence Hill and Bud Spencer HILLARIOUSNESS!

[3 February 2001]

This movie has Terence Hill who's uncle knows of an Island with buried treasure but Terence needs a boat to get to it. He lost all the money he needed for the trip to a local gang of toughs, so he keeps his money and runs away. With the gang after him, Terence hides on Bud Spencer's boat, which is getting alot of media coverage becuase Bud bet $20,000 that he can circumnavigate the globe. Bud gets suspicious when his beer and food start to dissapear, so he makes a clever trap that Terence falls into. They both fall off the boat in a fight and swim to a deserted island of "BONGO BONGO" inhabited by some funny natives, one who has a pair of glasses. The Trinity boys look for treasure, but gay slave trading pirates are in the way, a Japanese soldier who doesnt know World War 2 isnt over starts shooting at them......the movie gets funnier and funnier! The fights are great! Really suggested for T+B fans, this is one of thier best, belive me! Find a bootleg of "Who finds a Friend Finds a Treasure!" from someone, it's grand, some funny stuff going on here! The theme song "Movin Cruisn" will stick in your head for days! Thanks for reading! My vote: 8/10

Django, Prepare a Coffin (1968)

Great Spaghetti Western.

[8/10 · 3 February 2001]

One of my favorite Spaghetti westerns is "VIVA DJANGO". Terence Hill plays Django, a man who's wife was murdered by his best friend. Django becomes a hangman, who doesnt kill his victims, he gives them a harness, with a big hook, to wear so they wont be strangled. Django does this so they will help him get revenge on David Berry for murdering his wife. Excellent Spaghetti Western that never gets boring, full of guns and action! Terence Hill does a good job imitating Franco Nero. I think this movie is slightly better than the origanal DJANGO made in 1966. Get a bootleg of this movie off of Ebay, you wont be dissapointed!