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Leroy-13
Reviews
Mission: Impossible II (2000)
(uncredited)
Hey Tom Cruise, if you're listening, pay attention: There's a big difference between making money and creating a legacy. This stuff may rake in the bucks, but it sucks. I'm no art film junky. I appreciate a good, mindless action film every summer. But I want one that doesn't completely copy its predecessor. How about a movie without you dangling from a rope? Or playing Kick-Boxer Guy? How about taking some of those dollars and investing in an original idea? You used to be something. Now you're just another schmuck a mid-life crisis away from oblivion. If Harrison Ford can become irrelevant, you're certainly expendable.
Pearl Harbor (2001)
Awful
The only reason I stuck it out through the entire film was my brother and I had the theater to ourselves. For three hours, we sat and watched one of the worst big budget films ever made. The story was even stupid by summer blockbuster standards (you want me to believe Ben Affleck fought the Germans, spent three months in occupied France, suddenly appears in Hawaii, fights the Japanese, bombs Tokyo. . .geez, why not have him piloting the Enola Gay at the end?). The writing was miserable. The whole thing was shot like they were looking for 15- to 30-second snippets for commercials. And Jon Voight. . . just when I thought he'd never bottomed out more than he did in Mission: Improbable, he comes up with the worst portrayal ever of a U.S. President. All those years I thought of FDR as dignified, now I'm stuck with this image of a bumbling, uneasy fool. If it's not the Gideons, it's the Japs, eh? Career advice for Bruckheimer and Bay: stick to what you know. I'll take the plot holes and ridiculous ideas in The Rock, Con-Air, Armageddon, etc., just so I can get big screen action. Leave the love stories to people who know how to tell them.
The Boondock Saints (1999)
Brilliant satire
Boondock Saints may just be the most brilliant satire ever filmed. While parody usually takes an over-the-top approach--think Naked Gun, nearly anything with Charlie Sheen--that eliminates any question of purpose, this movie was produced with a much more subtle touch. Watching it, you might be lulled into thinking it's a serious take on the vigilante movie. When the closing credits start to roll, it finally hits you--you just sat through 100 minutes of perfectly scripted commentary on the ridiculous nature of such movies. While some directors would have been more direct--you could almost picture those two-of-the-same MacManus twins picking lice off each other like a couple of monkeys--this guy kept the story below the surface.
Scooby Doo, Where Are You! (1969)
Fun for everyone
This stuff keeps getting better. I grew up on Scooby, and now I get to watch it with my kids. I know I've seen all four of these episodes a hundred times (about half of those in the month we've owned the tape), but it doesn't matter. Even if you can recite the dialogue line for line, it's still great TV. And unlike those package deals with live action shows, repeated viewings of Scooby and company are never tedious. Thanks to the Cartoon Network for sticking four on the tape (two seems all too common with TV show video tapes) and for keeping Scrappy Doo where he belongs (out of site). The "behind the scenes" clips are fun, too.
The Matrix (1999)
There's a sucker born every minute
And just when I thought nothing mainstream would ever again be as bad as Striptease, this comes along. Wow! Keanu Reeves wins the Jon Voight award for wooden dialogue, and Laurence Fishburne gets a nod for good actor gone bad. Give me a break with all the Alice in Wonderland references and vague scenarios. I'm no film snob--I like Chevy Chase and Bogart just the same--but I have to say the Matrix came across as a poor imitation of a master. It looked like a script Kubrick would have rejected as mediocre, then filmed by directors perhaps better suited to music videos. View at your own risk.
Double Jeopardy (1999)
Could be a good book
This was entertaining enough that I don't feel cheated out of the ticket price, but it wasn't nearly as good as it could have been. A better script--one without so many plot holes--and a good edit could have turned this into a keeper. As it runs, Jones is wasted in a throwaway role, and Judd isn't any closer to hitting the A-list. What a shame. Even if you're a fan of either, waiting for the video isn't a bad idea.
Mercury Rising (1998)
It's no Hudson Hawk, but...
Not the best, not the worst Bruce Willis movie you'll ever see. The story is compelling enough, but there are some serious plot holes that leave you wondering if anyone was paying attention during post production.
Fortunately, the scenes are in order, which helps the progression. But it's almost as if they needed 120 minutes of film, so they shot 120 minutes, used it all and never considered the consequences. If they'd cut the throwaway scenes (plenty of those) maybe they could have squeezed in some more relevant footage and turned an average movie into something worth watching
A Slight Case of Murder (1999)
HBO finally has competition for great made-for-TV fare
Turner and friends are closing in on HBO for the top spot among made-for-TV movie producers. This is a nicely paced, contemplative thriller of sorts. William Macy is stellar, as always, and Adam Arkin offers one of his better performances. A bit more lively than classic Hitchcock but not as in-your-face as typical movies of its type, A Slight Case of Murder eases you in and never lets go. (Note: I saw a preview copy, which means I didn't have to wait through commercials. Those interruptions may hurt the pacing, but you know this will be available on video sometime
Trippin' (1999)
classic high school film
A classic high school film in the mold of the John Hughes pics from the '80s. Decent story aided by good performances and some great jokes. You'll never look at fried eggs the same way again. Load granddad up with pork and enjoy.