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warlover
Reviews
A.I. Artificial Intelligence (2001)
What were they thinking?
Another Hollywood mess with lots of special effect and imagery in lieu of a good story or a story that goes somewhere for that matter. All through the movie I kept seeing scenes from other movies. It was kind of like a term paper, other people's stuff, just arranged a little differently. There is one scene in the first half where a trash truck pull up and dumps a load of broken robot components and other robots appeared and began sifting through it for things they could use, like a new jaw or eye or whatever. I was so convenient they just snapped on, completely interchangeable. Then comes a strange ship and then motorcycles with dogs faces and round up the robots (in one case using nets), I felt like it was ripped right out of the planet of the apes.
I don't expect movies to be completely believable but from beginning to end it was filled with things that just wouldn't happen, future or not.
A Taste of Hell (1973)
A Candidate for Mystery Science Theatre 3000
A taste of hell, indeed! If hell is half as bad as this movie was, then I pray for any poor soul heading for Dante's Inferno!
In a nutshell, the script was non-existent, the plot, well there was actually no plot, and the fighting, well, you could tell this was a pathetic "B" Movie. There was no character development, even the slashing of a knife looked fake. The only reason I didn't turn this movie off after the first three minutes was in respect for the $ 1.07 I shelled out for this flop! The costumes looked, surprise surprise, like the seventies and not like WWII 1942. The movie lacked any dénouement though I will give it the credit of having a climax. All in all, as I said in my title, this would truly be a knee slapper on Mystery Science Theatre 3000!
Excalibur (1981)
A delight
This version of the Arthur legend is simply a delight to watch. One simply can't help but get caught up in all the magic. Nicol Wiliamson playes Merlin in such an eerie way that it makes my hair rise. Nigel Terry portrays Arthur extremely well. And of course, Gabriel Byrne in the small role of Uther, a far cry from the aging D'Artagnan in The Man in the Iron Mask. But what really makes this movie is the scenery and the music, there's something very eerie about that music that simply puts the whole show together. Mordred in his gold armour really looks scary in that dark and mystical time. If you want to see a movie that you'll probaly have to see many more times, check this version out and prepare for one of the greatest movies ever made.
Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)
Best Comedy, Period.
This is the best movie ever! I didn't get it (Oh no he said the word!) the first time I saw it (he said the word again!) but after that, I think this is the best movie ever. Somedays I'll sit around reciting every line during work. I usually get everyone roaring. I just love the witch scene ( build a bridge out of her ) and the guards in the castle are hilarious ( Oh, I thought you were talking about him ) There is simply no comparison to this movie. You have to watch it many times to get the all of the humour. The Holy Hangrenade is really good (thou shalt count to three, and the number of the counting shall be three) and the killer rabbit is a riot ( We've lost Boris, Gawain, and Hector, that's five, three sir! ) Anyway, go watch this movie with your friends and laugh your head off.
The Three Musketeers (1935)
A good adaptation of the classic
I really enjoyed this old version of the three musketeers. D'Artagnan was not too well cast but I did enjoy the musketeers. This movie did an excellent job of following the book and showed a vile Milady De Winter. There is a lot of the style of older movies in this one, for instance, the four musketeers do a little singing from time to time, but it's surrivable. I would people who like older movies to give this one a try, it's worth it.
The Man in the Iron Mask (1998)
Ok story, read the books instead.
This is a fairly well acted movie with home excellent charactors
and some nice scenery. What are the problems? The swordfighting! I've never seen more poorly choreographed sword fighting in my life! Not just that, the screen writer totally cut the original story to pieces! I have to ask myself whether they even read the book. Sure, Aramis was the Vicar General of the Jesuits, but they were religious men, not assassins. And Athos, some poor retired musketeer living in a small apartment? Athos was a wealthy Count who lived in the country and had tons of servants. Of course, they had to make the Raoul and Louise (her real name in the book) out to be some happy couple who were torn apart by the king. Louise herself was the one who went after the king really, and Raoul, devastated, went and got himself killed charging a line of muslim riflemen. What's with the love affair between D'Artagnan and Anne of Austria. The haughty creature would hardly ever condescend to speak to D'Artagnan in the books, yet they tried to make D'Artagnan the father of Louis XIV. I have, in fact, barely touched the surface of all the differences between the movie and the book. My advice, if you want a far better story, go pick up The Three Musketeers, read all five stories and get a far better idea of what great heroes they were instead of watching this silly story.
The Three Musketeers (1993)
What a pathetic movie!
Ok, want to watch a really bad movie tonight? Go rent this one.
Even people who haven't read the book won't appreciate this farce, and for those who have, they'll never respect any actor who took part in this fleecing of Alexandre Dumas's classic. What is the deal with all this mess? The Musketeers disbanded? Cardinal Richeleau trying to assassinate Louis XIII? Milady going to England to sign a treaty of war with the Duke of Buckingham? She went there to assassinate him! This whole movie is a crock. The producers couldn't leave anything intact. After the fight with the Cardinal's guards, the four men went away delighted with having beatin the guards, they didn't run off and leave D'Artagnan like that. And what is with the gay little charactor fighting D'Artagnan at the beginning? That's not at all how he left for Paris. His father, Rochefort never killed him, gave him his sword, some money, and a letter for the Captain of the Musketeers. D'Artagnan met Rochefort on the road and fought with him on his way to Paris, that's why D'Artagnan really hated Rochefort. I could go one all night like this, but instead, I'll give the readers one piece of advice. Stay away from this movie as you would a rabid dog, rent the 1974 version with Michael York, Richard Chamberlain, Oliver Reed, and Charlton Heston, it's ten times better, follows the book to perfection, and is hilariously funny at the same time. Don't even waste 50 cents to rent this flop. Only watch this version if Mystery Science Theatre 2000 decides to bash it!