j-thers-2 Reviews

Cannibal Holocaust (1980)

Good, but not that disturbing as everyone says

[10/10 · 1 August 2006]

The movie starts pretty slow and totally without gore - people are shot, but does'nt get a single wound or anything like that. Many will probably find it hard to make it through the first half of an hour without asking themselves "When are someone going to get gutted????" The theme melody in this movie are fantastic. Pretty cheerful if you ask me. It constantly starts playing the most ill-timed moments in the film, but I guess it's to add some more effects.

I was also a little disappointed with the amount of gore (I saw the uncut version). Don't get me wrong, there is a lot of gore in it, but I just hoped it was a little more gory when this film has the record for having been banned in over sixty countries and some of them still forbiddens the uncut version. But still there is a hard-to-watch scene in which a real-life turtle gets cut open (is it just me, or does it's guts look like eggs?).

Like I said, good, but not that disturbing as everyone says.

Burial Ground: The Nights of Terror (1981)

Zombies attacks a villa and... well, that's about it!

[5/10 · 1 August 2006]

The zombies is this movie has been lying in a old crypt for many years, so therefor they're nice and rotten and look cool. But it's also very intelligence zombies, who know have to climb and what good weapons you can find in a shed. I saw a dubbed version, but still the acting sucks. It still had some good gore. Some gutting and a extremely fake-looking head being pulled through a broken window.

Personally I don't think this movie had anything new to offer, but some people (including me) just like it the old-fashioned way. Also, look forward to a pretty unexpected confession from young Michael (who was played by a midget, I heard).

Garfield: The Movie (2004)

Disappointing

[2/10 · 21 July 2006]

I have always loved the comic strips, but this movie was just horrible. The characters is all wrong in the movie! Jon is just not that hopeless, pathetic loser he was in the strips, and Odie (this movie tries to explain how he got into the family - which is totally wrong) is just not as brain dead. And why the heck is Liz acting like she LIKES him??? She hates him in the strips! Maybe this is the right time to say that you do not hire Breckin Meyer when you need a funny main character, but when you need someone Freddy Krueger can beat the f*ck up! A good thing about this movie is that via computer animation is even fatter in strips (he started to be enormous in the first ones, but I think he looks skinny now in the new ones).

My point is if you loved the comic strips, you'll hate this.

Lotto (I) (2006)

Lies, lies and some more lies

[5/10 · 21 July 2006]

First off, I just want to say that this movie was filmed in my town and I had no idea when I brought the ticket for it (it was either this one or Garfiel 2). When I watched this movie, I thought of the show "Fawlty Towers". Both in that and "Lotto", the main character is forced to constantly make up some lies to cover up some other lies that now don't hang together. The reason of that is that in "Lotto", the main character Jørgen wins 3,6 millions bucks, and decides he don't want to share it with his friends and co-workers (who putted money in the game too), because he means that he and his wife is the only one who deserves it.

Most of the humor comes from the character Finn (one of Jørgen's friends), who always is telling about what he and his hookers spend their time with. Besides a scene where one of the characters accidentally pee/*beep* (call it what you want!) at a other characters (trust me, you have to see the scene to understand why it's funny), there really is not much comedy in the movie. I would more call it drama.

The ending disappoints. For Jørgen's and his wife's parts it's all "Forgiveness in the end", but for the co-workers it's very unclear to tell if it's all gonna be good again (and this is not a movie which gets sequels).

Dolph & Wulff (2005–2006)

Totally sh*t!

[1/10 · 29 April 2006]

If your liked the first season, Wulffmorgenthaler, then there is no way that you can like this series! Every episode starts with Wulff entering the room and in the next five minutes we hear at his sh*tty stand up-comedy. And Dolph's lines is just old ones with some new (bad) things added to.

And about the new characters Rocco, the horny beaver, and Finn, the dancing monkey: THEY STINKS! They say absolutely the same and is both stupid Dolph-wannabes.

This series is dead. They should have done the same as "Drengene Fra Angora": Stopped while they were funny.

0/10

Wulffmorgenthaler: Episode #1.1 (2005) Season 1, Episode 1

The first episode of something who could be one of Denmarks most popular comedy series

[14 April 2006]

Season 2 and 3 is garbage. They're nothing compared to this season and it's episode which made the danish people lying on the floor, laughing. Also, we meet Dolph the fascist hippo (played by Jonas Schmidt), who is now a big part of the danish youth (atleast the guys). And after this episode we know what kind of person(/hippo) Dolph was. I mean, come on, the scene were he was smashing the play farm was classic! I must say, the segments was nothing special. While they were I missed Dolph and I think many people did.

Basically, this was the episode who started it all. Only these word can describe it: Funny, unique, and CLASSIC!

Scream (1996)

One of the biggest disappointments in my life

[1/10 · 12 April 2006]

When a movie says on the cover "Will scare you shitless", I expect to be scared "shitless". I did'nt, not even close.

One of the thing that does'nt make this movie scary is the bad performances of the actors (and I say this as a fan of 80's-slasher-movies). Under the first scene with Drew Barrymore being stalked via the phone and she cried, I had my finger up in my nose.

The kills are nothing much and predictable (since almost everyone is stabbed to death), and when finally that was a creative kill (the garage), I still had my finger up in my nose.

Basically, this movie is boring and long from scary. And don't get me started on the other 90-slasherflick ala Scream.

Final Destination (2000)

I don't know how...

[10/10 · 4 March 2006]

... long ago I since saw a good horror-movie with actually a (great) plot. But "Final Destination" sure delivers the fact that the writers is genius! The story goes like this: Seven people accidentally tricks Death without really knowing it, and some time after "Death wants revenge". One by one, our heroes gets killed in horrible accidents. One of them, Alex, is the only know who really knows what's going on and try to explain it to his friends... and of course thinks the police that it's him who does the killing.

The death scenes in this movie is just absolutely fantastic! And the acting was great (esspecially Tony Todd's short performance). Basically this movie is just something you must have for so many reasons! 10/10