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A_New_Hope
I pity the future that my daughter will face. The amount of stupid on IMDB is staggering.
Ratings
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Reviews
Patton Oswalt: We All Scream (2022)
Patton Needs To Stop.
I love stand up when done right. This isn't done right. I would watch Dane Cook regurgitate other comedians jokes over watching this past 40 mins. He isn't funny, my wife had this playing in the background, i came in and sat down to relax and well was too lazy to look for the remote. After 40 minutes of trying to give it a chance i got up and went outside again so thanks Patton for giving me the energy to be nowhere near you. He just isn't funny, his jokes don't land and all I can see is the two faced back stabbing creeper he is. There have been comedians with scandals I've still found funny but the thing is they were actually talented and funny, no idea how Patton keeps getting roles and gigs. Avoid It isn't funny and its not even worth being background noise.
Day Shift (2022)
Worth the watch
Jamie Foxx, Dave Franco and Snoop is not the cast i would expect in a vampire movie but it works. Jamie is the star here and his performance cuts through the cheese. There is bad dialog, Snoop and Franco cant act their way out of it but Foxx is so good in this he somehow makes it deflect off of him.
Action is decent except for the lack of physics with bullets and Snoop is too old, you can clearly tell its a double.
The ending lines though, they should have been cut. There was no need for them and it just came off super cringe.
All in all its a solid 7/10.
Christmas vs. The Walters (2021)
Horrible movie, don't believe the high ratings.
First of all, why was this even made. The script was bad, the direction was non existent and the actors really didn't want to be there. AVOID!
Also look at the user profiles for all the high rated reviews for this, all made about 3 weeks ago with one single review, this movie.
B Positive (2020)
Another Laugh Track Show
When will the networks wake up, canned laughter is done. It so sad to see Thomas Middleditch star in this drivel after staring in an amazing show (Silicon Valley). Is he hurting for money?
In today virus landscape you can tell that either its "filmed" in front of a small audience that's safely seated apart or its pure canned laughter. Either way its bad. Nothing was funny, Thomas's usual awkwardness is just cringy here. This will be a one and done show like the horrible laugh track shows from 2019 and beyond.
Indebted (2020)
When will Hollywood get it, Multicam sitcoms are dead.
The laugh track, oh god! Why do they have to make it so obnoxious? I watched because its Fran, i have had a crush on her for a better part of my life but not even that boyhood crush couldn't save this sinking ship. There is nothing special about this show, using the "online influentures" route is not cleaver. Fran you are better than this.
Outmatched (2020)
Not funny but the laugh track sure thinks so.
When will studios learn, multicam sitcoms are dead. The laugh track is obnoxious and detracts from anything on screen. Maggie needs to fire her agent. Everything she is in now is trash and i just dont like Jason Biggs.
No actual humour, its played out and one of the main "stars" is unlikable! There is so many better shows to watch.
Code 8 (2019)
Reviews are fake, made for tv movie!
I had the displeasure of watching this after a group of mates came around and threw it on. Its bad, no so bad it's good. Its a tv movie dressed up.
Special effects were meh, the actors are very meh, the main lead is Stephen Amell (Green Arrow on CW) so that's the kind of acting you are getting.
This movie caused me to drink more than i should have. The reviews are totally fake, they want to sucker you into it but its very dishonest. Let people judge for themselves and not lie to them.
The Dead Don't Die (2019)
I felt like a zombie after watching this mess
I gave 3 stars because it has Bill Murray and Danny Glover, the movie itself was a mess. It was so slow, it fell too much on hipster "comedy" There is an awful song that is played repeatedly that is mean to be a theme song but its too country and boring to be a theme song to a zombie show.
This movie is self aware, zombies exist in this universe albit in movies, shows and pop culture. The writing is lazy, the jokes are bland, the acting is something like you would get in a high school drama class. Its horribly slow and boring, zombies don't show up for a good chunk, and then there was a random UFO. Yep just a UFO from nowhere for no reason.
The Christmas Chronicles (2018)
Even Jack Can't Put This Movie Back On Track.
Kurt Russel is a god, he has never played a bad role... until now. This movie is something i would never have expected Kurt to appear in. Its c grade, straight to dvd. I was expecting something along the lines of The Santa Clause but ended up with something more like Jingle All the Way 2 in terms of production value.
The writing is horrible, dad dies but is the main reason christmas is special (Hallmark right?) The mum works all the time and so its just the two kids at home well when the son isn't stealing cars and not getting into trouble for it... The girl playing the daughter tries, oh god she tries but she doesn't pull it off, the guy who played the son well he might as well have been reading from cue cards, he called that performance in. Kurt however is amazing except for the jail musical. Santa has all these powers but doesn't use them to prove he is who he says he is.
The elves look like the rejected version of gremlins and they speak a simish language.
Long story short, the siblings become closer, mum doesn't learn anything or grows in anyway, the boy learns not to be a jerk and the girl... learns she can get better than a d in spanish... yep you heard me.
This is something to watch if you are a little out of it for the holidays or if you have kids.
Netflix needs to up their game if there is a sequel.
S.W.A.T.: Firefight (2011)
Gabriel Macht is screwed when suits is over.
S.W.A.T.:Firefight is cliche, its quite honestly more of a made for tv movie than a blockbuster. The script is bad, the one liners such as "She died for you sins, now you die for yours" is honestly bad. Gabriel Macht is a great tv actor, his role in suits is amazing as Harvey but here... not so much. If you can see if for free, dont! its not worth the time. I've wasted part of my life watching this and now writing this review.
Another Time (2018)
Sadly this wasn't a bullseye for Green Arrow.
Justin is good at playing Oliver Queen, sadly thats where his acting chops end. He is not leading man material, at least not in a feature film. I honestly thought this might have been a syfy original movie or a cw movie but its apparently not.
The story is okay but not fleshed out, the writing is bad and the acting is... Well lets just say Justin better hope Smallville gets a revival or there is a crossover with the CW's Green Arrow.
Avoid this movie if you can, its not so bad its good its so bad why did i waste my time!
The 10 star reviews look like they are from first time accounts, that alone makes them suspicious.
Cult of Chucky (2017)
Cult Of Chucky Kills Franchise
Its so sad to see the creator become the destroyer. Don has been with Chucky from the beginning and to see it end here is tragic.
The writing is horribly, the dialog cheesy. The pacing is all off, so slow and drags on. The acting is so bad, so wooden and forced. The twist of Chucky being able to possess pretty much anything without transferring bodies is a horrible idea. He got the spell "Online" Yet its the same spell he has always been using?
Seed was always seen as the low point to the franchise but let me tell you, this... This is worse than Seed.
Wait till it's on Netflix, do not waste your money on it.
The Night Watchmen (2017)
Avoid! Campy and low production value
I was stupid enough to get this and several other movies for a weekend chill session because the net was going to be out.
It's horrible, the acting is bad, the script is laughable and the production value is like student film makers had a $100 budget.
When i didn't recognise anyone on the cast list i should have taken that as a red flag.
Paranormal Paparazzi (2012)
Other reviews are fake, sock accounts to push their own show.
I was blessed to find my brother had dvr's this crap. I figured there was nothing better to do so i cracked open a beer and watched. Let me say, this is the stupidest crap to ever come across my screen.
Spoiler: These journalist meet in a room, they talk about their stories and then we get maybe a 5 minute video to back up each story, the thing is they only have eye witness testimonies and no factual evidence. One guy who seemed to be having no issues in life was apparently possessed.
There is trash TV and then there is this. It's on the travel channel which i didn't even know i had, but i say avoid unless you are a moron and are into this. It's basically a TV version of those tacky magazines about the Paranormal.
Don't get me wrong, i love Destination Truth, Ghost Hunters and even Monster Hunters, but this.... This was awful.
Edit: the other reviews are fake accounts all created to try and persuade you to watch. If they go s far as creating an IMDb account just to post a fake review these guys know their show sucks.