rochelleluck Reviews

Jolt (2021)

Even the action was boring

[2/10 · 6 February 2022]

Ok, I really enjoyed Crank, and the Underworld movies. I'm a fan of Kate Beckinsale, Stanley Tucci, Bobby Carnevale and Susan Sarandon. When this movie came up on Amazon we were like - whoa, this should be good.

Nope.

Man, there is just not enough right about this movie. It felt like it couldn't figure out what it was trying to be. The action was dull. The comedy fell flat. The characters were ridiculously one-dimensional cliches.

The worst part about it is that the entire premise - about her explosive personality disorder and needing the vest to Jolt her out of the murderous impulse - is really pretty irrelevant to the story. It's just a gimmick. The story would probably have been a little more interesting without it.

These actors really deserved a better story, better direction.

About 10 minutes in, I was ready to turn it off, but thought it must get better. Then by half way in, I wanted to punch this movie in the throat.

Waste. Of. Time.

(Side note - Was most amused by watching Ms. Beckinsale struggle to emote despite all the botox & filler in her face. Girl - you are too beautiful and talented to hobble down this road)

Fantasy Island (2020)

Better than I expected!

[6/10 · 9 January 2022]

We watch horror movies. It's what we do. Based on everything I'd seen & heard about this, I was expecting crap. But it's actually pretty decent. You can see other reviews for plot summary and the like. I thought the story was pretty good and the guests' stories make sense, enough.

My biggest gripe with this entire movie is Rourke. His back story is weak, and he just tells it to a guest? Nuh-uh. Lame.

Also - I got nothing against Michael Peña. I've seen him in many movies and he's great. But he is no Rourke. He said he traveled many years and all over the world to find Fantasy Island, but..... Michael Peña? I mean... just no. He has Zero gravitas. Rourke's story requires someone who looks like they could handle the actions and consequences of this island. Roarke needs to be able to say - "ENOUGH" and mean it. The role needs someone rugged enough to have survived exploring the world for years to find it. Rourke must have Gravitas. This casting blew it for me.

He Never Died (2015)

Modern noir ala Henry Rollins.

[9/10 · 16 July 2020]

This was good. Liked it more than I expected. But, then again, I always love me some Hank (H. Rollins). He played this really well. Can't imagine this role played by anyone else. (well, maybe Nicholas Cage?) We watch a lot of indie and low-budget films, but this was really an unexpected dark gem. I don't want to spoil it, but if you like this kinda movie, it's definitely worth a watch. Yeah, it's not perfect, but neither are you, so.....

An Evening with Beverly Luff Linn (2018)

MmmmMMMMM...mmmm

[10/10 · 16 July 2020]

If you liked What We Do In The Shadows, the FX series Legion, Flight of the Concords, maybe Parks & Rec, you'll probably like this a lot. The actors in this movie are in their weird, quirky, hilarious element and I loved it. I agree it's a bit Napoleon Dynamite + David Lynch + Mighty Boosh and stir it up with a little Aubrey Plaza - you get a similar flavor, but still very much different. Don't watch it with your kids. This movie is funny, but definitely not for kids.

Dragged Across Concrete (2018)

Lots of chewing, sitting, driving, sleeping...

[2/10 · 2 December 2019]

Rumor is that this film was supposed to be a wide theater release, but the film co. wanted to cut it to 1 hour 30 minutes. The director refused the edit per contract clause, so this film was in just a few theaters with simultaneous digital release. Good call on the film company's part. This movie reeaaaally needs editing. Like, really bad. And the description/plot summary is really misleading. I didn't read any reviews or even heard of this movie before seeing it on HBO. The cast was impressive, so I gave it a shot. During the 1st sloooow moving scene, I thought - ok, setting a tone, slow-burn, I get it. Then there was another,..... and another,...... and another....

I gave 2 stars because I think it had some potential,.... and it could.... maybe.... be decent ..... IF almost every scene was cut down. Many other reviewers say that an hour could easily be cut from the run time and I agree completely. If you like watching Vince Vaughn eat a sandwich in a car - like eat the whole sandwich, each bite, with nom-nom-nummy sounds, then catch this. Or if you like watching long slow car rides, in real time, with each car noticing and commenting on the same passing scenery like, "possum... refrigerator... dead rat." Just avoid it.

Nothing Really Happens (2018)

Just, no.

[1/10 · 11 May 2019]

Really, I promise that you have a better way to spend your time than to waste it watching this. My husband picked it and about 20 min in, he wanted to quit. I said, naw something has got to happen, so we kept it on. He enjoyed it a little more than I, but only cuz he's going thru an existential crisis IRL. But he could only give 2-3 stars. The best thing he could say was, "well, at least we can tell they wrote a script. Like, you can tell they're not ad-libbed." In reference to the way the lines were delivered, as if they're being read. Another review compared this to Being John Malkovich. No. Just, No. I can see where this director may have been trying for something along those lines, but truly nope. Nope.

Suspiria (I) (2018)

Just really disappointing

[2/10 · 6 April 2019]

There are other reviews that say it better than I can - some of the 1* reviews. Was really looking forward to this movie. It was so disappointing, in so many ways. 1 - Just was not horror or scary or suspenseful. It was gory - lots of blood and guts and pee, but only towards the end. No scares. None. The only suspense was wondering where tf the story was going, and which one was what. 2 - too many different stories thrown together without a point or conclusion. We're told in the beginning that they're witches, so that's not even a surprise. 3 - Dakota Johnson does not show any emotion besides blandness. None of the characters are developed enough to care about. 4 - This movie is at least an hour too long. Needed an editor. Bad. 5 - The sound was horrible. Sound effects very loud but dialogue was all mumbled and too low. I was grateful when there was foreign language dialogue, for the subtitles. 6 - Bland bland bland cinematography. If it was meant to be a contrast to later bright colors as the tension builds, that would've been good. But nope. 7 - The big climactic scene is just a mess. Filmed like a very low-budget gore-fest. Blurry, jittery, lots of boobs and spewing blood, and long without payoff.

Ok, so why did I give it 2*? Tilda Swinton is great but underutilized in her main role. The doctor she plays is for no apparent reason. There are other great performances but they are lost in this. The soundtrack is really good, but doesn't quite fit in this mess of a movie. The visual blandness is beautifully done, but waaaaay over used.

There are so many better ways to spend 2 and an half hours.

Joy (2016– )

It's an indie MOVIE, not a miniseries or whatever

[5/10 · 19 September 2018]

I watched it on the AUDIENCE channel. It's an OK, lower-budget independent movie, not great. I turned it on thinking it was a different movie also called Joy. What this lists as Seasons, are presented as chapters of the movie. In this, Joy is the name of a teen girl with issues who just moved and likes to skate. She gets into some trouble, makes dumb choices, falls for the Bad Boy, more dumb choices, happy ending. Makes a Big Deal about her being a GIRL WHO CAN SKATE. If this took place in the 1980s-90s, then it would've made more sense. Since this takes place in the cell-phone and Facebook age, then it just seems really outdated.