lora-jen Reviews

Hard Candy (2005)

So let's just torture someone coz they're seedy?

[1/10 · 2 August 2022]

Hayley manipulates then sexually assaults & tortures someone who she thinks is a creep but has zero proof of any bad let alone illegal activity... ok... so without her having any real motivation to go vigilante and do what she does, people are cheering for the sadistic torture girl villain here?

• society is messed up.

Last Man Down (2021)

I've never heard worse one liners

[2/10 · 17 February 2022]

Just everything is terrible, everything.

The way the scenes are cut/flow is nearly as god awful as the dialogue.

It's funny though! Can't believe how cringey bad the one liners are. Would make a good drinking game.

Hey John, you're a bad motherf*ker.

Killer Under the Bed (2018)

It's so bad

[1/10 · 25 October 2021]

Just so bad, but not the so bad it's good. Just bad.

Kristy Swanson is an especially bad actress.

This was even too cringey to have on as just background noise. Thanks Netflix, I hate it.

Try the 1987 movie Dolls - the special effects haven't changed here.

Escape: Puzzle of Fear (2020)

The script is the problem

[3/10 · 12 October 2021]

There's a lot of things that suck about this movie, but I think the writing was the biggest let down.

Or maybe the storyline? Or maybe the acting? Everything was pretty cruddy.

But it was ok to have on in the background and didn't actually anger me like some terrible movies do, so it gets a 3. A real C grade flick though, nonsensical and although I get the plot, it's just not believable in the slightest.

Could've been an interesting premise if it was executed in a way that wasn't just blah. Actors suck too. Cringe.

The Guilty (2021)

Ugh.

[3/10 · 25 September 2021]

I didn't know there was an original film so hadn't watched that, but it was super easy to spot the 'twist' coming. Eye roll.

Really unlikeable main character. Just unbelievable that a 911 call centre would let it's staff behave that way.

Yet another showing of how gynocentric (female focussed) people are.

The callers that the main character Joe was an unprofessional ass to were men.

When we thought there was a dead baby, Joe just assumes it was the father. Because he thinks the father killed the baby, he threatens him, says he deserves execution, and a brick to the face from the mother.

When he realises it was actually the mother that was the 'killer', he's sympathetic to her.

Does absolutely nothing to try to stop her bricking the father because even though Joe now knows the father is innocent, he still doesn't seem to give a flying feck about him, I guess coz he's a man.

Joe then really doesn't want the mother to die for murdering her baby, but was totally onboard for the father dying for murdering his baby.

Turns out that a) the baby didn't actually die (which just seems ridiculous considering how long after the assault that it took to get the baby help, and that it's a tiny human & would have bled out super quick after being cut open and some guts 'snakes' pulled out, as well as both its parents believing it was dead).

And b) Joe shot a guy previously.

Voyagers (2021)

Meh worth a watch

[6/10 · 25 September 2021]

So no one seems to be questioning how the couple of 'good' people can continue to live with the 'pretty awful' and 'very awful' people, even after the two 'totally awful psychos' are gone.

Like the good ones are just going to pretend that the rest didn't either actively participate in or happily watch a violent group murder of an innocent guy?

How are you just going to live and work with people like that for the rest of your life?

There's no punishment, no remorse shown, and it's just cool to carry on as usual with peeps who were hunting you down to murder you in cold blood just not long before?

Yeah ok sure why not.

Hit and Run (2009 Video)

Not bad - worth a watch

[5/10 · 30 July 2021]

If there was meant to be no 'good' guy/girl main character on purpose, then I applaud this movie, because there wasn't one, which is a little refreshing. Not that it's never been done.

Red Dot (2021)

Not bad or boring, just didn't like it much

[4/10 · 4 June 2021]

Some very obvious plot twists, some not so obvious.

I was entertained throughout, but I still didn't 'like' the movie. As most others have said, the main two characters are totally unlikeable right from the start, and I only grew to wish for their deaths as the movie progressed. They couldn't even defend their dog, and made some ridiculously dumb survival choices. Also like others said they seem super human against hypothermia & blood loss.

Because of the plot twist at the end, I don't think the viewer was ever actually meant to like the 'protagonists' though, which I think is maybe the point most people are missing.

Also lol facepalm at the person commenting the brothers were animal lovers, when it shows the body of a murdered blood covered stag in the back of their truck.

1BR (2019)

Interesting & clever

[7/10 · 21 May 2021]

Solid little film, would recommend.

Interesting and fresh ideas.

Much better than the crud Netflix is pumping out.

Deadly Illusions (2021)

Nope.

[2/10 · 22 April 2021]

This movie is bad, mmmkay.

No.

Nope.

Bad.

Bad movie.

Only Mine (2019 TV Movie)

Ridiculously stupid

[1/10 · 21 April 2021]

No one survives getting shot twice, can barely move or speak, then bleeding, with no water, and 3 days later, walks god knows how far, to a cabin, breaks in all stealthy, to take on the gun toting trained psycho who shot them, with no weapon but a rake, all while limping.

As if this wasn't stupid enough, then doesn't try to get help when the armed police turns up, but wants to take on the armed attacker again.

Yup ok sure.

Never mind that at the end of it this is actually murder and there seems to be zero consequences.

Room (I) (2015)

gutwrenchingly beautiful

[9/10 · 19 May 2018]

I just do not understand the bad reviews on here.. This movie was amazing. I could not be more impressed with Brie Larsons performance as Ma - except for Jacobs Tremblays performance as Jack. How such a young child can act so incredibly well is beyond me. Both characters are absolutely believable and this movie really does break your heart. Where most movies would climax is only the half way point of this movie making for very interesting far from usual storytelling. Generally slow moving (but not in a bad way) I think maybe 20mins could have/should have been taken off and would make for a better overall film as it did feel like it was a bit long for what it could have been. Would have loved to understand the characters of the dad and captor more as these were not explored. Overall well worth the watch, I will remember this movie for a long time!

Frozen (I) (2010)

This Frozen is just as bad as the kids version

[1/10 · 30 March 2018]

Don't bother watching this. I wouldn't class this as a horror. Snoozefest maybe. There are so many idiotic decisions made that are just so unrealistic. And the things that happen (besides the girl sobbing like 90% of the movie) are not believable. Have a read of the other comments with spoilers to see lists of all the unrealistic and unbelievable things. And then some are just outright harmful LIES - like the wolves. Wolves DO NOT act in the way they are portrayed. Who paid for this movie? The sub-humans at the wolf hunting and killing associations? Lies to mislead viewers into thinking wolves are like they are portrayed in the movie to keep up the big bad wolf narrative so people will continue to be afraid of them and continue to be fine about a beautiful intelligent endangered species continuing to be slaughtered to extinction. The people that made this movie should be ashamed, not just because its a slow and stupid movie but because of the immorality. Whoever owns these wolves should also be ashamed for letting them be shown thus way and exploited. There's also needless gore and there is suspense at times, and missed opportunities to make the movie better.

Mother! (2017)

Ugh - rolls eyes

[2/10 · 25 March 2018]

This was not a good movie. As others have said it is self indulgent and pretentious. The same kind of 'art' as pooping on paper and hanging it up. All while it slams you over the head with a mallet of unrelenting metaphors. 'Oh if you don't like it you clearly must not understand it' some will say - it's not hard to understand, it's just not a great movie, yet another excuse for those left of sensibilities to screech misogyny when there isn't any. Any excuse though. At least JLaw might have made a little more effort with this one, rather than staying a healthy size when she's meant to be a starving girl in the hunger games! Reeeeal professional. I have a feeling she was happy to play this disturbing role in the even more disturbing movie only to pretend she suffers for her art and more 'poor women' clap trap. Mother! is an analogy for Mother Nature of course, the only comparison in this movie that isn't nonsensicle and is meaningful. If you enjoy photos of tea cup stains sold for millions kind of art then this movie will probably be right up your ally.

Downsizing (2017)

Two different movies smooshed together - weird

[5/10 · 25 March 2018]

Loved the trailer, thought what an original interesting concept - but it's really just a trick as the trailer only reflects the first act. And the first act was great, although a bit slow moving, could have done with some more editing. After the first act however, it turns into a completely different movie. The two completely different plot lines although both good, just don't gel together. Feels like one person wrote the first act and another person wrote the rest. Altogether too long, especially in the second and 3rd acts. Could have cut out the latter half of the movie, put in a different ending which took 10 mins and it would have turned out a lot better.

Pitch Perfect 3 (2017)

unlucky number 3 - literally murder

[2/10 · 25 March 2018]

If you've enjoyed the first 2 films, just stop there and don't bother to watch the last one, cling to the good, fun memories of the first two without ruining the franchise for yourself by watching the latest. The third movie had a ridiculous premise, idiotic storyline to say the least. Without spoilers, the movie would have been OK without the whole incredibly lame, unbelievable, Fat Amy side story which makes zero sense and feels like a tumor hanging onto the side of the movie. A Fat Amy side story sounds good, but its really, really not. And no one seems to care that Fat Amy literally murders multiple people? But they are all men so it doesn't count is that it? A fun, musical movie doesn't need to be turned into violent (however ridiculously fake) murder. especially when said murders arent even acknowledged. No Trebblemakers and no (well not really any) Stacie Hot Girl also make matters worse. There was no point and no need to make this 3rd film, oh except milking it for money of course. I liked the singing, as usual. Riff off was fun.

The Tank (2017)

Not awful but a waste of potential

[4/10 · 3 September 2017]

An interesting take on a space movie - being not really a space movie. Plot holes were wayyy too obvious and the flash forwards although good attempts at making the storyline believable, still weren't. Using more logic in the writing/making of this movie would have done wonders. Guessing this was done on a small budget and it did well using that. Some legit scenes which were emotional and moving.

Here Alone (2016)

A dull zombie but not a zombie movie

[3/10 · 3 September 2017]

I was really hopeful for this movie, a zombie flick with a big emphasis on survival. This movie however, more so hiding out and depressing flash backs rather than storyline or action or explanation as to how what happened happened. A great reminder to, if in this situation, think with logic, not with emotion and guilt. The unlikeable leading lady makes a huge,stupid decision which is the endings twist. Not great for survival at all. Not happy Jan. Basically a slow moving movie, you think there will be quite a few more exciting moments than there is, so its a let down.

Pet (I) (2016)

Messed up

[3/10 · 3 September 2017]

A very very sad movie in the end IMO, quite frustrating and absolutely no justice, only depravity. Extremely messed up 'love story' with some great twists, not a movie where you can guess where its going from the beginning, but by the first third in you can predict what will happen. A movie to leave you disgusted and depressed. A physiological horror for sure, not the slasher kind, but far more disturbing. Another movie to show that with the desired looks, you can get away with anything. Is the main character able to get the outcome hes after? Well kinda. Can be slow moving, but the twists are from left field. Great acting.

Pandorum (2009)

Interesting movie with some poor decision making

[5/10 · 3 September 2017]

Fairly interesting sci fi, a good (but obvious) twist but too many plot holes for my liking. Would prefer something like 'sunshine' which is a similar movie. Enjoyed the use of the dreamtime/storytelling and thought some of the characters were well thought out where as some seemed like after-thoughts/fodder. of the characters. Enjoyable movie worth the watch.

Sunshine (2007)

Worth a watch!

[7/10 · 3 September 2017]

Interesting sci-fi movie, nothing mind blowing but well worth a watch. Could have been interesting to see more on the first ship. Few minor plot holes where things are slightly unbelievable, for instance the huge task for just one crew member to undertake, would not be logical to make calculations without having someone else to double check.

It Stains the Sands Red (2016)

Move on to the next zombie movie

[2/10 · 3 September 2017]

Boring movie with very unlike-able main character. I can never get behind a movie where the main (and really only significant) alive character is a crappy person and makes stupid decisions. At first I wondered, is this meant to be a comedy? Certainly its no horror nor a thriller. Black 'comedy' maybe. Annoying cheap drunk stripper coke head uses guy, shows shes a crap person, boringly gets chased by a very poor make-up-ed smalls, lets her misandry fly and over all proves she really is an unlike-able 'dumb broad'- would be a much more accurate summary of this movie. Would definitely recommend re-watching TWD for the 100th time over this. But in the pros - good use of landscape, actors aren't terrible and zombie sound effects are good.