robslings Reviews

Scary Movie 3 (2003)

Leslie Nielsen and Ja Rule kick retard ass

[9/10 · 17 February 2006]

Retards beware, Leslie nielsen is gonna kick your ass if you go to the White House during an alien invasion. He just can't help it. If you look at him funny, talk in a weird robotic voice or just look plain retarded he is gonna hammer your ass with the help of his able secret service bumchum Ja Rule.

As with the rest of the Scary movie this also stars fit bitch with mucho hairy ass grass, also she stars in "May" an underrated psychological horror that is well worth seeing.

Very funny the 2nd best in the series by the makers of airplane not the negroid chaps who did the first 2.

Great fun better than the 2nd not as good as the 1st, hey that gay negroid boy is funny ass hell, all together now "i'll grab his butt".

Death Wish II (1982)

Charles Bronson Is the DADDY

[10/10 · 17 February 2006]

Bast seen truly UNCUT only available from Australia, Charles Bronson is back for revenge. He runs into some low life Hoodlums who steal his wallet but not before Bronson gives them a beating for their troubles.

With his I.D they go to his house for REVENGE, and boy so they get it, but of course good old veteran Charlie boy gets the last word.

Filled with brutality and shockingly good Exploitation elements this is one awesome REVENGE movie that actually lives upto its name.

Bronson cleans up the city but police don't like vigilante's taking the law into their own hands.

If there was more men like Charles Bronson around today Mugggers, rapist and arseholes wouldn't mess with innocent members of the public.

Quite simply there is a lesson to be learned from this film- DO NOT F*CK WITH THE BRONSON OR HE'LL BE ALL OVER YOUR ASS LIKE A BAD CASE OF H.I.V CAUGHT FROM ONE OF THE ETHNIC CHAPPIES YOUR MOMMA WARNED YOU ABOUT.

Buy this film, YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT.

Dead Man's Shoes (2004)

I don't want to go into town, Richard!!!!!!!

[10/10 · 17 February 2006]

Awesome film very dark, great that its set in Matlock only 12 miles from here.

Excellent performances all round,especially funny and twisted a rarity in modern cinema.

A man who comes back into town to seek revenge on the lowlife cheap gangsters who abused his younger retarded brother.

Using his army training he gets into the heads of the scum and starts a violent and psychological battle, one man against them all, no fear.

This film brings back memories of Charles Bronson at his finest in the Death Wish series. It contains all the violence and depravity of these films but beats them all because of the emotional core at its centre.

The town of Matlock in the Peak District has never looked so depraved and dangerous in this film, and the people who inhabit this town all deserve to die, just like Death Wish Paddy Considine is doing society a service and cleaning up the town.

Excellent film, highly recommended.

Sudden Fury (1997)

Sh*Te acting but entertaining and awesomely gory fun

[8/10 · 17 February 2006]

The main hero in this British made movie is Walker, a great actor who steals every scene, especially when he's dredging up the past.

A real mans man if ever there was one he shoots it out in extremely gory fashion with some unbelievable character's as gangster who look more like film students.

Gory as a Fulci horror movie also includes Fulci favourite David Warbeck, who is very bad in this film too campy.

The dialogue does't last long between awesome action scenes with lots of gory gun carnage, which alleviates the hilarious acting.

Great special effects and gore, if you like your gangster films gritty and bloody this is awesome stuff.

A great showdown where everybody gets at least 12 bullets in them, very enjoyable.

Shame IMDb never has any details about the sequel which is included as a trailer on the DVD (Sudden Vengeance). It looks awesome and lots more exploits from Walker dredging up the past and confusing us all with his arm waving.

Road House (1989)

Patrick Swayze is so damn hard.

[10/10 · 17 February 2006]

This film has got to be the greatest Patrick Swayze film of all time. His performance is easily on a par with some of the greats of the action genre- Richard Norton and the great Joe Piscopo.

Before i watched this film i thought Patrick Swayze was a bit of a puff after seeing ghost and dirty dancing but in this film he really shows what hes made of. his screen presence virtually eats up the screen, my TV almost melted watching this film.

His fighting style is extraordinary, a mixture of karate, taekwondo and tae bo. put it this way i wouldn't challenge Patrick Swayze to a fight on this form, and i am very hard.

The plotting of this film is exemplary, i don't think anyone could write a better story, and Swayze's performance as the hard but very small bouncer really does the story justice.

The fights truly are incredible, in a three way with Van Damme and Seagal Swayze would easily come first in my humble estimations.

Violent and brutal, cheesy fun, 80's film-making at its best.

Dead Heat (1988)

Joe Piscopo is the Don Mega

[9/10 · 16 February 2006]

This must be the finest Joe Piscopo film ever made, and thats saying a lot. he puts the lead Treat Williams to shame with his fantastic on screen presence and just his incredible hardness.

When he is in a scene and he has no dialogue he just exudes charisma with his gormless looks and inane grin, not to mention his fantastic top which shows his weird muscles to the max. It is loads better than the Beverley hills cop movies in the buddy film genre, and in my esteemed opinion it must be one of, if not the greatest films ever in the whole wide world. AWESOMEEEEE EEEE EEEEEE EEEEE EEEEE EEEE EEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEE EEE EEEEEE EEEEEEE EEEEEEE EEEEEEEE EEEEEEE EEE

Under the Gun (1995)

Richard Norton for KING OF THE WORLD

[10/10 · 16 February 2006]

THIS FILM IS ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT. Richard Norton must the greatest actor ever to come out of Australia. His acting, fighting and screen presence are all fantastic and he holds the film together with his abundantly magnetic charisma and martial arts skills. It is a mystery why the great Richard Norton has not had more lead roles in his career because he easily has the charisma and acting skills, not to mention his incredible level of fighting skills, to match the Van Dammes and Seagals of this world. It's also worth mentioning the amount of times he bottles people in this film, he is truly prolific. in my humble opinion he should be crowned KING OF THE WORLD.