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Reviews
Nature Calls (2012)
Two scripts in a blender?
A truly bizarre film. It has the premise of a heart-warming family comedy, with a troop of little kids and an earnest scout master who wants to instil love of the outdoors in some sheltered suburbanites (with the expected undertone of weird US nationalist propaganda American films like this seem legally obligated to have). But while it more or less delivers the by the book plot and emotional beats you'd imagine such a film would have, it does so with constant swearing, lewd dialogue, and a slew of adult characters who seem to have wandered in from a National Lampoon movie. Even with this jarring hodgepodge, there were dramatic beats that were cheesy but would have been serviceable enough if they had done the absolutely bare minimum to develop the characters. Randy and Kirk are brothers but have no relationship and nothing whatsoever is offered to explain why Randy loves their father's scout mission so much while Kirk is not just indifferent, he hates the entire concept of nature. You expect some kind of backstory to eventually come up, but it never does, even when the pair have a serious scene together. There's nothing to invest in.
I don't understand who this movie is for or for whom it would even be appropriate. Overall it can only appeal to kids and stars five too many ten year-olds for teenagers to be interested, but it's from the perspective of the adults and full of adult jokes (not just rude, but rude and jaded in ways kids won't find funny). There's also a bunch of irreverent religious 'humour' coexisting with a weird conservative streak as if events were taking place simultaneously in a John Waters movie and in the land of Leave it to Beaver. It really is like two completely different scripts with wildly different sensibilities crashed into each other at high speed and somehow merged.
It's not totally joyless, I did actually laugh a bit, even if more often out of shock and confusion than at punchlines. The actors seem equally uncertain what kind of tone they should be going for, though they make an admirable attempt to give it energy and momentum. Two major characters carrying most of the emotional load of the story are mute for no adequately explained reason and this compounds the already profound issue of lack of character development. Patton Oswalt was just boring and flat and the only one who tries to play it as if it were that milquetoast family film throughout, while everyone else at least commits to the insanity level that seems necessary. He can't really act and he doesn't get to be funny so I don't know what the thinking was, all I know is he failed to carry this movie and there are three people who could have done better right there in the cast. I had to watch it through my fingers out of second hand embarrassment at times and I'm left wondering how on earth this happened.
Life Without Dick (2002)
Terminally Awkward Execution
There's something there, but it didn't work out. It's clearly supposed to be some kind of screwball black comedy, but the comedy isn't screwball enough or black enough, so it just comes off as a romcom that doesn't quite grasp how fucked up it is. Both Harry Connick Jr and Sarah Jessica Parker are terrible in it, no charisma or chemistry, and every single supporting character is more appealing to watch than either of them. The total lack of spark in the alleged romance just makes it uncomfortable when they act cute over the corpses of their victims. It should be comic, but they and their relationship are lifeless and that makes it creepy. The titular Dick is meant to be so unsympathetic that you're okay with the light-hearted shenanigans surrounding his murder, but he was still more engaging than our 'heroes' and the morbid absurdity which depends on us utterly hating him to become dark whimsy remains grim and upsetting.
Craig Ferguson has his moments of being quite funny, as does David Koechner, but their scenes working well doesn't pull the film up from its downward spiral. The leads are just ill-chosen or poorly directed or both. Their performances are straight bad and their characters have no charm. Sarah Jessica Parker as a bubbly blond with a secret knack for crime is supposed to be a funny dichotomy, but her baby voice and air headedness are just grating.
Harry Connick can't act and casting him as a heartthrob is also possibly just a bridge too far under any circumstances considering he looks like a Simpsons character. At their fucked up meet cute she differentiates him as 'the handsome one' and yeeesh. That's as cruel as the plot. The fact that he's standing next to Johnny Knoxville (far too good-looking and likeable for this role) at the time doesn't help. Casting Knoxville as the heel in general didn't work. As we find out the original motive to kill Dick was a misunderstanding, despite the film's constant reassurance that he's definitely still a complete asshole, his naturally endearing screen presence and the heroine's unhinged behaviour combine to make him just enough of a victim that the whole conceit of the film falls apart.
Anyway, the consistent awkwardness leads me to believe the biggest single problem with this is the director. It could have been mediocre rather than bad with the exact same script.
Grand Theft Parsons (2003)
A Mellow Road Movie, A Black Comedy, A True Story
A quiet little black comedy which manages to be distantly satiric and genuinely moving without ever indulging itself. It feels very close and personal with its few characters and fewer set pieces. The only major flaws are Christina Appelgate, who hinders enjoyment every moment she's on screen but she far from ruins the film, and the thin, slightly saccharine character of Gram's father who nevertheless is instrumental in the film's best scene. Be forewarned it does require a little patience, as the film is mellow, not in a hurry, never melodramatic, and is definitely better on second viewing. If you like unobtrusive indie strangeness (or if you even know what kind of film I mean by that), it will definitely appeal.
Family Guy: Excellence in Broadcasting (2010)
Good and bad
The beginning and end of the episode were quick, funny, and genuinely sharp satire. The middle was bogged down with too much partisan mud-slinging and empty-headed rhetoric. This show really, really needs to stop preaching, because the comedy stops dead every time it does, it doesn't serve the issues it attempts to address even remotely competently and it's just not entertaining to watch. Either mock idiocy and extremism on both sides without lecturing the audience or stop harping on politics. Good satire needs to be egalitarian, if they're going to call themselves "equal opportunity offenders", they need to live up to it.
Overall, it was a an okay episode and was something of a step in the right direction, but seemed to take two steps back.
Charlie Valentine (2009)
Probably more good than bad...
...but the bad is pretty distracting.
Though the cinematography is slick and attractive, the editing is extremely flawed. This leaves the film disjointed and choppy; certain scenes become complete non-sequiturs, some of the action gets muddy, and jump cuts occasionally get ahead of themselves. Another round in the editing room could seriously improve the storytelling, because the right elements for an extremely compelling and rewarding character drama are there, they're just poorly communicated. The structure of something great is present, but it isn't filled out.
My second biggest problem was Raymond J. Barry. He was dull and often awkward as the eponymous gangster, there's only the occasional flash of the charisma and appeal his character is supposed to have. He delivers almost all his dialogue in an unsteady, disinterested mumble, and gritty realism may be unintelligible, but realism of that kind certainly puts a damper on the plot and characterisation. The other actors were uniformly excellent, especially Michael Weatherly who shone brilliantly in the last quarter of the film, though none of them have quite as much to do as they should. Danny and Charlie's Parole Officer both needed more development as individuals and a little more background would have helped the father/son relationship a lot.
Give me a reason why Danny admires Charlie so much and I would have been more willing to go along for the ride with them. Their reunion and Charlie's allure and charm as a successful gangster was rushed past and barely present, respectively. Danny's first defining character trait is uneasiness with authority and a fervent desire to remain out of prison. Why does he then turn around and become a disciple of his father without any kind of intermediate process of rationalisation? Yes, he wants to hold on to his father at any cost, but where is the indecision and what about Charlie's behaviour resolves him? As it was, his hero worship and abandonment issues must be extrapolated and his anger with his father is more prominent than the idealisation that makes him want to follow in the old man's footsteps. I know where the story is coming from, because it is such a classic story, but I would have preferred to actually see it on the screen instead of inferring it.
Basically, a clearer emotional progression was needed for Danny and frankly, I didn't find Charlie likable enough for his place in the story to function. He's despicable, but he should be charmingly despicable and I was not convinced he was charming.
Inception (2010)
Trying too hard and it shows
This movie spends far, far too much time telling instead of showing. The actors have to deal with so much exposition, the strain and boredom is practically palpable. Dialogue this obviously for the audience's benefit and this inorganic is completely undeliverable. It's not nearly so complicated that this level of explication is necessary, either.
The biggest problem, however, is that this is not a sci-fi film or a thoughtful drama or the incredibly rare gem of a film that transcends any kind of genre that it wants to be. It's an action spectacle and that's all. It's not deep and the characters are issues with name-tags. The massive, driving climax full of supposed suspense left me unmoved and thinking about other things because I really didn't care about these thinly drawn stick figures. Additionally, the thinks-it's-very-clever ending was the cheapest trick in the book and it cheats at its own game.
People comparing this to The Matrix (a film that really does rise above its genre and its spectacle, where even the minor characters feel fleshed out) aren't doing it any favours.