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Reviews
Disenchanted (2022)
Horrible
Ugh! What a clunky, forced, predictable non-story of a sequel.
I hated this film. It had none of the humour of the original and all the originality of cardboard.
The plot was thinner than a cigarette paper, and the characters weak, boring, and sexist-especially the women!
Of course, the princess tropes are expected, but the constant waffling on about parental love were vomit-making.
The songs were so flaccid, even the quality of the singing couldn't pull this festering turn of a cash-in make any sense or purpose.
Don't bother wasting your time.
Even Hallmark would distance themselves from this simpering mess.
She-Hulk: Attorney at Law (2022)
An insult to feminists
I was really looking forward to this show, written by two women. I thought it would be relatable with realistic female characters, for once.
Was I ever wrong! The show is a travesty for feminism, with the worst tropes about women. From catty infighting to Jen's obsession with romance (because no successful woman can have a happy home life, right?)
On top of this, the plot is weak and without substance. Which only goes to support my previous point; the writers clearly think the only interesting storylines for women are weak and pathetic.
This programme was so awful, it made me mad to watch it. Don't bother!
Jane Fonda & Lily Tomlin: Ladies Night Live (2022)
Disappointing
I love Grace and Frankie for the quick-witted -and snappy dialogue. If, like me, that's what you're expecting from this special, you'll be sorely disappointed.
Jane and Lily are painfully awkward and over-scripted. We know that they can act, but it seems comparing is not their strongest suit.
I honestly didn't laugh once at any of the guest comedians, either. This was either because of repetitive lockdown jokes, pedestrian material, or US-specific observations that people outside the country will struggle to understand.
Such a pity for something supposed to celebrate women in comedy. Sadly, it has the opposite effect and only serves as a low yardstick by which to judge us.
Seungriho (2021)
Galactic Entertainment
This movie was an unexpectedly humorous thrill ride from start to end. The narrative builds well and each main character is given a background and a redemption arc that I appreciated.
I thought the special effects were good and realistic. The story itself isn't exactly new, but the reimagining of it is.
The characters all had different languages, which is found refreshing and more like the realistic future you'd imagine than most comparable films in this genre.
It was acted really well, with no poor choice among the cast.
It kept me entertained and gripped for the whole length of this plus two-hour movie. Well worth a watch!
Resident Evil (2022)
Fun and thrilling action
I've not played Resident Evil, so perhaps my take is a little different from the die-hard fans here.
I have thoroughly enjoyed this series and it's fresh take on a dystopian future. Especially as the plot could easily happen today. I enjoyed the commentary on this in the narrative.
The actors were excellent and well-cast. Especially the younger girls, and the music and atmosphere were fitting.
It doesn't seem to take itself too seriously. A good yarn, that kept me entertained throughout.
Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (2022)
Another female lead who just wants to be a mother
This film is predictable, boring, and without charm.
It's really disappointing that the entire thrust of the drive for Wanda is to be a mother. The narrative is running very thin. There could have been a host of other reasons for her multiverse quest. But, of course, as a woman, all we are here to do is breed. It is our life's goal, after all, is t it? (Pass me the sick bucket).
The rest of this film's narrative is as tired and old as time itself. Girl in danger. Man saves day.
A couple of good cameos from other Marvel threads that have yet to be drawn together. For that, three stars.
Death on the Nile (2022)
Branagh Makes a Really Good Script Awful
I love the originals Agatha Christie novel. This is not that.
45 minutes of the beginning is completely wasted on a shoe-horned plot that only serves one reason: to squeeze in an otherwise unwritten character and a completely superfluous love story.
I'm not one that minds edits to the script to modernise or change things up, but this is not the type of story to comfortably allow for that. Either completely modernise it, or leave it as it was intended - trying to do both at once leaves it feeling forced, awkward, and hollow.
The acting and accents are all over the place, too. Branagh's Poirot is also I'll-conceived, with yet more superfluous backstory crow-barred in for no particular reason or effect.
The biggest issue with this film is that they spend so long going into the needless love story with the characters that aren't in the book, that the main thrust is completely forgotten and rushed into the last 45 minutes of the film.
Most of the story is completely pointless.
The ending also has problems. They have changed the order of events to suit the characters that were brought in, and in doing so changed the entire dynamic.
When Poirot does his summation at the end, Branagh's delivery is far too over-dramatic and moody. The Poirot of the books would never have caused a dramatic scene by shooting a gun and then pointing it at everybody. What's more, we're supposed to believe that a 18-calibre gun can pass through two human bodies, rendering them imstantly dead.
Don't bother with this festering turd of a remake.
A Day to Die (2022)
A Day to Sigh
Really don't bother with this predictable, trope-filled bore-fest.
The script and dialogue is awful and the soundtrack worse! Plus so many plot holes and unexplained events. Such as why one of the guys decided to commit suicide at the end so that his friends could make the plane... that was mere feet away.
Also extremely unoriginal and SO MANY TROPES. Such as the hitherto unknown pregnant wife getting kidnapped by the naughty black drug dealer (YAWN!) and chief of police actually being the baddy (I was comatose by this point).
The worst was when their only black squad mate (a token), was the first one killed in a gunfight: I mean, come on!
I watched this thinking it would be cheesy fun. It was just plain awful. Even the acting looked like a senior school drama class.
Don't waste your time.
Diana (2021)
You CAN roll a turd in glitter
First, the good: Diana the Musical is extremely well-produced, the set and scene changes rapid and smooth, and the mostly American cast do a fairly decent attempt at a British accent. I have to also give a credit for the lead actor playing Diana for her ability to hold a note.
The bad: I would label this film as anti-feminist. Yes, it's set in a time where traditional marriage was the norm. But the many, many references where being a wife and mother are the only goals in life make Diana feel very dated at times. There are also several times where jobs such as being a nursery nurse are deemed as a lowly occupation (and not just for the Princess).
There are also some rather odd choices with the narrative: such as merrily singing about Diana's several suicide attempts, and only a cursory mention of her long battle with bulimia (it's mentioned once, in one song).
The writers were clearly liberal with the truth, and that's fine - this is a story, after all - and not sold as factually accurate. One other thing I found odd was that the ending seemed rushed and unfinished. When they play out the car crash, Dodi Al Fayed is completely negated from the script (although an earlier plot point did bring in a shirtless James Hewitt, striding a horse).
Over all watch this if you want an entertaining couple of hours, watching a musical of complete fiction.
Jimmy Carr: His Dark Material (2021)
Boring, Tired & Desperate
'His Dark Materials'? Jimmy should have called this 'His Past Materials', the jokes were so old and predictable.
I love subversive and edgy comedy, so was not offended by his choice of topics. It's just that it was all so unfunny. It didn't feel like typical Jinny Carr, there was zero satire to his 'jokes', and no bite. It all felt a little sad and desperate.
Essex Heist (2017)
So bad it's not even worth the comical value
A dull film, with a dull plot, set in a dull location.
Usually, I enjoy these b-type movies for their awful acting and plots, purely on the comedy value alone. This is so boring that a piece of two day old toast is less dry.
Essex Vendetta (2016)
Hilariously Awful
So bad it's brilliant. We laughed at the acting, dialogue, sound mixing, and story all the way through.
One of those films that you can only watch ironically. Best bit was the inaudible monologue in the chapel by the main protagonist, and opening stabbing scene on the steps. We laughed so much we wept.
Pure unintended comedy gold.
Friday Night Dinner: The Au Pair (2020)
If I could give this episode 0, I would
Dreadful - predictable and boring. The new character was annoying to the point that it was cringeworthy.
Stories revolving predominantly around a family around a dinner table obviously only have so much plot to give. This has led to more airtime for Jim, once a device for short silly relief in earlier seasons. Now he's being given more and more screen time, Jim has become a babyish, unrealistic annoyance.
This show has ran its course and I won't be bothering with the rest of this series.